Starting to Potty Train but Not Sure How To

Updated on January 29, 2011
A.M. asks from Pflugerville, TX
11 answers

my daughter is 18 months and was showing some intrest in the potty. I got her a little one that plays music and everything. when I first got it out she had to have it, even through a fit when I was taking her to bed. she played with it and sat on it and a few days later on a Sun. when i had time to really try I put her on it when she first woke up and she peed and we got excited and she was happy, so since we needed diapers anyway and she was constatly wanting to sit on the potty we went ahead and spent more to get pull-ups. the thought being they could be pulled down but if she wasn"t getting to the potty before she peed I wouldn't have a mess to clean up. now she doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with the potty. I am not trying to rush things and we are just trying to let her grasp it when she can, but she is actually getting upset at just trying to get her to sit on it now. I can't afford to keep her in pull-ups as diapers and cloth training pants don't seem like a good option either since she now doesn't want to even try but it's just more trouble to try and let her sit on the potty when you have to take off a diaper. I don't have a real specific question I guess just more looking for overall advice on the subject all of my mommy friends have boys and I know this is one time kids are very different

just want to add in that I would rather not completely go backwards, but still don't want to push. I guess my thoughts were that I know the cloth diaper or trainers can help them realize what they are doing but since I work I would be asking the person taking care of her during the day to do a lot of cleaning up after her. I looked into the Gerber all in one training pants but they say they don't hold much so you have to be attentive there again asking a lot of someone else. if anyone had suggestions on a good alternative there it would really be appreciated.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

M.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Developmentally it is too early. They do not have the ability to control it. People that do it that young are trained, not the kid, like the woman who said she has trouble remembering to take her. You started it too young and now she is resistant. I would say put it all up and go back to diapers until after two years old. You do not want to battle over something especially potty training. Causes psychological issues.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

18 months is not too young to start, but it's also OK to put the pull-ups away for awhile until she is more interested again. My daughter first used the potty at 14 months, and would use it maybe once a day successfully (usually when the bathwater was running was a good time to have her sit and go!). But she was also in daycare and they had no interest in helping with training at that age. So we took it really slow and no pressure. I sent her to daycare without diapers at 26 months and she had no accidents.

The process in between involved encouragement, moving the potty to the room she was playing in, allowing her to go naked from the waist down at home... In other words, I used my intuition and didn't read any books about methods.

I don't think waiting until almost three would have worked for us, she's quite stubborn and I think by 3 training can turn into a power struggle with some kids.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree 18 months may be a little early. Her interest at this age was probably because it was a new "toy" in the house. Not impossible, but probably much more challenging. I potty-trained my daughter at 23 months in 1.5 days, and my son at 27 months in 3 days. I used the Three Day Potty Training Method by Lora Jenson I think. It was wonderful for us.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.P.

answers from Albuquerque on

At 13 months, my girl was VERY interested in all things potty (she followed me every.single.time I went & watched everything I did in there)! So, we went and bought her a simple potty with lid (no music or crazy attachments) and she used it the FIRST day! From then until about 20 months she'd use it a couple of times a week (some weeks, she'd use it every day, sometimes she'd go 2 weeks not using it). I didn't pressure her, just invited her to come with me whenever I was going in there (I tried to get daddy to help, but he felt weird having her "watch" him). At her daycare, they don't start the potty until 2, so we kept this up until she moved to the 2-3 y/o class (from 20-24 months she was using it pretty much every day--and sometimes a couple of times a day). During that time, we just stuck with diapers (kept a small stack & package of wipes in the bathroom). Now that she's in the 2-3 y/o room, they use the potty all the time. After the 1st week, her teacher said that she's ready to go "all the way" and we needed to get pull-ups & underwear! She's been in that class for 4 weeks, and this week was her first full week without diapers (they wear pull-ups at naptime & I put them on her after her evening BM--before bed)!
The hardest part for me is remembering to take her to the bathroom (she can't hold it as long as I can)!

So, with all that, my advice is to just follow her lead. Invite her to go to the potty (when you go, when she gets up from bed, after meals & snacks, before bed, etc), but don't force her to go. Soon, she will get the hang of it and the Pull-ups can be used as back-up (for car trips, naptime, bedtime, etc). Even though we're currently at the brink of going diaper-less, I am still putting diapers on my girl for bedtime & long car rides (hey, I paid good money for those--I'm going to use them)! :) Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I think this is pretty typical behavior. I know that everyone always says that girls train faster and easier than boys, etc. etc., but honestly 18 mos is still pretty young. I know it can be done and I'm sure it has been done but with all the people I know, most girls still aren't potty trained until around 2.5-3. My daughter did this too at about that age and I got excited at the thought of maybe it would happen...but she lost interest too! ;) We didn't end up potty training our daughter until just before 3 and it only took us a week. We built it up for a few weeks and then went straight to panties. She wore pull-ups only to bed and for the first few days we put her in plastic pants if we went out, but even after about a week or two she didn't even need the pull ups at night any more and was fine in panties. I'm a beliver in just waiting until their ready. If she's not ready don't stress yourself out about it. Personally, I would do diapers for at least another 6-9 months and then see where you're at.

1 mom found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I also think she is interested but not really ready. You can leave the potty out for her to sit on when the mood strikes, or just put it away and try again in a bit. Some kids can train that early, I have heard!, but most are older. I tried with my first at 2, then 2.5, then just at his third bday, he was ready and totally solid in three days. I know one mama who said her little girl was trained at 18 months, but was cleaning up three accidents a day!! I also tried the whole pull up thing, for me it was totally counter productive. Too diaper like. When he was truly ready, I used thick cloth training pants and he got it down fast! I put him in a diaper at night for a week or so but realized fast that he would never learn how to do it in a diaper so I started cutting drinks off at around 6:30pm and just prepared myself for bed wetting, but he has done just great. When they are actually ready it is SO much easier. I don't think I will spend even on cent on pull ups next time!! Oh and don't feel bad at all if you go back to diapers, it won't mess anything up, I just told my son we were going to use diapers a little while longer and he was relieved!! Now at 3.5 he just goes to the potty whenever he wants, I don't even have to ask. Good luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.M.

answers from Portland on

here's great deal of information at this site: readiness checklists, and the science/research on various approaches to potty training: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness... While I have seen pretty much universal, quick success with allowing the child to lead the process when he's ready, it appears that starting at different ages, from infancy on, can work depending on your lifestyle, dedication, and intentions, and that all ages offer their special challenges or requirements for success. There are also warnings about what can go wrong to help you avoid common emotional pitfalls. Follow the internal links for a wealth of information; you may see the possibility of early training for your child.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.B.

answers from Houston on

Too young but a great start.
My third did the same thing. After seeing the other two potty, she was ready at about 20 months to try, too. She is one smart cookie and I thought "why not?". Put her in Pull Ups and she used the potty perfectly for two days. Then she didn't.
It didn't matter to me either way. I figured she was a bit young to be able to remember and control but obviously she could do it for two days. But I think for those two days that is all she was interested in. Once something else grabbed her interest (or maybe after she proved to herself she could do it), then the potty was too overwhelming. The third day was VERY hit or miss and it upset her. By the fourth day I could see that she WANTED to potty train but her brain couldn't keep up with that and anything else. So I sat her down and told her that I was very proud of her and I knew SHE could do it but her body was still a little young, and why didn't we wait. Back to diapers and if she wanted to potty or asked, then off we went. When she hit about 2 1/2 I asked her if she wanted to try again and voilà! Done in a day.
So, go back to diapers. Save both of you some stress. Babies that are trained at that young really usually only have trained parents. I know it is exciting to see the end of that money sucker (diapers) but give it a little more time.
Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Houston on

READ Toilet Training i n Less Than a Day, it was written in the 70's and WORKS SO well. It's a quick read, get it @ the library.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.A.

answers from Little Rock on

My daughter did exactly the same thing at about 18 months. When she lost interest, I just put her back in diapers till she turned 2 and then tried again. I put my kids straight from diapers to wearing gerber training pants w/o plastic pants at home and pull-ups away from home and bedtime. The reason I put them in cloth training pants at home was that they can connect what there body is doing and how it feels with the pee running down there leg. You may want to keep her in a non-carpeted area or have plenty of odor removing spray for the carpet. Also, what worked with all three of my kids was offering potty prizes. If they put something in the potty even if it is only a Tablespoon worth, they got a prize. With my boys, I bought a huge pack of 20 matchbox type cars (different brand) that came to about 38 cents per car and used them as prizes. With my daughter, I purchased a package of 101 plastic food pieces and used them for prizes. My daughter is potty trained except BM's now at 3. BM's are a problem because she has constipation issues at times although it is getting better since I have got her drinking prune/apple juices and eating shredded wheat cereal like cookies. The BM still scare her because they have been so painful in the past and she is still scared that it will hurt.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

18 months may be early. I've had good luck with both my girls at the 27 month mark but that doesn't mean your child isn't ready earlier than mine. I'd just say not to push it if she back-tracks. What we did was go out and make a big deal of picking out the potty and the underwear. Take a whole weekend where you do nothing but talk about the potty and try to have her go. Just have her in underwear - no diapers unless sleeping and go from there. Don't go back and forth between diapars and no pull-ups!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions