Pull Ups When Potty Training

Updated on August 07, 2009
A.B. asks from Birdsboro, PA
37 answers

My husband and I have started planning our potty training attack for my almost 2 year old daughter. However, we can't agree on one topic. I think we should skip the pull-ups and put on big girl panties and my husband is adamant on pull-ups. My arguement is that they are confusing for little ones because they are very much like diapers so why not just pee in them. His arguement is that he doesn't want to keep having to clean pee off the floor when she has an accident. My counterarguement is that people learn through mistakes and accidents. His counter-counter arguement is, "I'm not cleaning up pee 30 times a day, just get the pull-ups." ...argh. It's really NOT a big deal in the long scheme of things but I wish he could just see my view. My question is basically who do you think is right or which idea to do you agree with? If I'm being a little over psycological about it and pull-ups worked great for your little one please let me know. I tend to overthink things so this may be one of those times. My instinct tell me pull-ups are the same as diapers in the eyes of toddlers.

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P.M.

answers from Harrisburg on

Who spends more time with her? I know I was home with my kids when they were potty training and he was at work...so my word ruled!

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L.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi A.,

I potty trained my children when pull-ups were still relatively new, and I tried them with my oldest for a while. I believe it definitely delayed his potty training, so finally, I took them away and he was potty trained in no time.

So for my daughters, I just went straight to big-girl panties, and they were both potty trained within days. And I mean it, days. Not months like it took with my son.

And no, we did not clean up messes 30 times a day.

I read a book that was entitled "Potty Trained in a Day" or something like that. Their method really did work. And my youngest child was potty trained, day and night, at 18 months. Talk about saving time and money!

L.

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B.G.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi,

I absolutely agree with you!!!! I never never used those things. We went right from diaper to training underware. The training underware give a little bit of extra coushining but if they pee in them they will still feel it and probably not like it. Be strong and dont use those things. And you cant switch back and forth either. They will just get confused. Good Luck!

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A.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Cloth pull-ups!!

We are just starting to potty train our two-year-old, and this is our plan, since her daycare will only deal with pull-ups and aren't fans of the rapid potty training plans. I've been cloth diapering part-time (she's in disposables at daycare) so I've known about cloth training pants for a while. They are waterproof and have just a little padding in them to catch the messes, but your child will be able to feel the wetness and thus you'll have the best of both worlds -- containment of the accidents, and wet undies as well. My husband is like yours in that he does NOT want to be cleaning up pee from accidents, but he is totally behind this idea.

I get my training pants from Inge at diaperware dot com, she has fantastic customer service, tons of stuff to choose from, and is local (Aston).

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S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

While pullups are much like diapers, perhaps you can compromise with your husband.Go with panties, he can clean up 1 mess, after that, she goes into a pullup. Have you talked about the cost of pullups with hubbie?? Perhaps if she knows the cost of going through 3-4 a day, he will get the message. They are not very absorbant, and will need to be changed often.

Having said that, I think you are starting too early. There are lots of great suggestions here for waiting until she is ready. Start her on the potty for a couple of months while still in diapers, get some success with that first.She needs to understand the process and be ready. Personally, I think in many cases, it is the parent who is trained to ask and take their child to the potty every hour or two, rather than the child understanding when they need to go and actually stopping what they are doing and go to the potty.
My oldest trained in about a month, both day and night, he was 30 months, and showed all the signs of being ready.My daughter was about 32 months,took about 6 weeks and my youngest a boy, was about 36 months, life was busier and we wasn't ready yet, but also trained in about 2 weeks. I simply don't see the point in potty training taking 6 months or more.

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J.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

i never ever used pull-ups... they are too expensive and not worth it. my first question to you... is you daughter actually ready and using the potty successfully yet? if not, I would stick to the diapers for a little while longer... potty training is a snap if you wait until your child is ready. My girls were always able to pull the diapers off and use the potty long before we went to cloth training pants (and they were both fully trained night/day at 27 months).

anyway, when they were successfully using the potty all the time, i switched to the cloth training pants. they also sell gerber cloth training pants with a vinyl outershell that are machine washable. they are $6 for 2, but well worth it, especially when you are out and about and your child isn't 100% trained. maybe she can wear those around your husband so he won't have to complain about accidents.

anyway, good luck!

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

The really thick padded big girl panties work pretty well for catching accidents :) I liked to use the pull ups mainly at night. Tell daddy not to worry, there are never "30" accidents a day. There may be one or two, but kids are smart and they get the point. I am an early trainer, some don't agree, but i give you credit for starting now :)

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L.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi A.,
Pull ups are just like diapers .Some kids take a while to train others get it figured out faster. If you stop diapers and they wet themseves some kids don't lke the feeling and train faster.
My son couldn't care less if he walked around wet all day.However at 3 years old we stopped diapers and used pull ups for the nite.Sometimes boys train slower than the girls and my son fell into that category. He had many accidents during the day but I never went back to diapers.He was 7 before he stopped nite wetting.
You need alot of patience .Just tell your husband that you will take care of the cleaning up.
Also if there are many accidents then you may be training too early. but I think the girls are faster at this.
Good luck!
L.

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

hey there mama i tried the pull ups with my son and they did not work it was just a waste of money.to my son they looked like a diaper,felt like a diaper so he treated it like one.i took supernannys advice and took him to walmart.i let him pick out his own undies and made a huge deal about it.when i put them on him and we made a big fuss over how nice his little hiney felt with no diaper.they hate the wet feeling so they will only have accidents a few times in the real undies.i would use a pull out in the beginning if we were going in the car.i also made a sticker reward chart and everytime he went on the potty he would get his reward :) best of luck to you!

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A.P.

answers from Williamsport on

I always hate to take sides in a marital argument, but you're right. Skip the pullups. Training will be quicker and far cheaper if you go right to big girl undies. She isn't going to make 30 accidents... it doesn't take that long for them to understand.

Here is some middle ground... we started training my son to go potty around 2 years old - but we kept him in diapers for the first month or two. All we did was take him to the potty several times a day and start explaining the "concept." Then after a couple months of very low key training, then we picked up the pace. We bought underwear, explained that we could not buy anymore diapers, and all that practice he was doing was now going to be for real. He had a couple accidents, but nothing that was harder to clean up then a spilled drink. He realized it was a mess when he had an accident, and didn't like it - so he really avoids it now.

Another middle ground option: plastic underwear covers. They look like underwear, but they are "water proof" sort of. You put them on over the underwear, but under the clothes. If they have an accident, it bothers them, but it doesn't make a terrible mess... it sort of lingers in the waterproof underwear covers. There were a great help when we were training but had to go to church, or on errands. I felt like I could still continue our daily lives, even while training.

Good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A.,

I have a 7 year old son and a 2 1/2 year old daughter plus worked in a daycare with 2 year olds for 2 years. So I understand fully the pull-up arguement. My thought of best plan of action is to skip the pull-ups. With the pull-ups like you said is just like a diaper, they dont feel the difference. With just the big girl panties buy her her favorite character (they usually dont want to ruin them then). Your going to have to ask every 15 minutes or so the 1st day and keep a close eye on her every move. I just trained my dd over 3 days with just 2 accidents the 1st day and it just happened to be when daddy was watching her and got to caought up in what he was doing. lol. I due recommend though keeping diapers or pull-ups for nap time or bed time.
Good Luck and hope this helped.
A.

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would agree with you to go right to the big girl panties. But I do think the bigger issue is if she's ready for potty training. I just trained my son in a weekend and literally it was just 3 days, he caught on right away and he had one accident the first day and hasn't had one since and that was two months ago. However, he had just turned 3, so he was definitely ready. I started the first day in pull-ups and he just kept peeing in them when someone said go get him underwear. As of the next day, I just put him in the underwear and it definitely made a difference. Good luck!!

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T.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

I worked in a two year old room at a daycaer and potty trained many kids, i always felt the same way you did. that pull ups were confusing, i would just put her in underwear and sit her on the potty very often, you wil have many accidents but i think pull ups are a waste

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B.D.

answers from Lancaster on

I did the same thing you want to do and for the same reason. I just put her in big girls pants - she preferred them so much (actually both of my daughters) that after a day or two they refused to put on diapers at all - even bed time! Yes, they do have accidents - my girls had very few - my son had more - but they are learning and it is expected - cleaning up a slight accident isn't that bad and I feel worth the savings from not buying pull ups (they can be a little pricey). Good Luck!

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H.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My daughter just truned 2 an when we are at home we use her big girl panties,but when we are out we do use pull ups to be safe.I bought the pampers ones for her cause she loves dora an that is whats on them. I understand your point though as i feel the same way lol they do no they are different from diapers though. We might have 1 or 2 accidents through out the day so i am hoping pretty soon byebye pulls ups. good luck

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E.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

A.,

I agree with you...and I have some proof to back it up. My son is just 3 now but we decided to potty train after his 2nd birthday. We started with the pull ups...it was awful...he did not get it. They were the same as diapers to him...even the ones that were suppose to turn cool after he peed...he did not care. I used one pack before I went and bought him Transformer big boy underwear...he was over the moon excited and we had ONE accident before he got it. I am not saying he doesn't sometimes have to rush to the potty because he is playing but he got it. He felt wet and did not like it.

I am going to do the same thing with my twin girls in just a few months. They will be 2 in December. They want to do it but are not quite there yet. I have gone out and bought the thick training panties with flowers and we make a big deal about it...I will most likely go get Dora and Tinker Bell...characters that they know. With my son I told him that Optimus Prime and Bumble Bee would be so upset if he peed on them and that stuck with him. He really tried. I also put the training potty in the corner of the kitchen so he would not have to run so far and gave him an ice cream bite (Dibs) when he was successful...he wanted to get that ice cream so it was not long before he was peeing in the potty all the time..I went through a lot of ice cream.

Hope this helps...you will be buying as many pull ups as you are diapers but getting less in a pack...does not make sense to me.

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

Pulls Ups can be a great tool, if used correctly. For most kids, if you use them during regular potty training if is more like a diaper than not. I suggest using regular panties, or nothing at all on bottom while in the house. Pull Ups are good if you're going out, but limit your outings until you start noticing that she can hold her urine better. With your child not being two yet I'm not sure how much success you'll have and it'll be a longer process than if you wanted a bit. Later, Pull Ups can help as you notice her less wet during the night.

As for clean up, of course there will be messes but if she's having that many messes for so long then it may not be time to potty train. If you have wood floors or tile, dry the mess with paper towels and then use a disinfectant spray. On carpeting, use a pet urine spray cleaner. Soak up before and after spraying. Clean is the same as having a puppy, lol! Have the child help with clean up as much as possible.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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A.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

A., i agree with your thoughts about pull ups. to kids they are just like a diaper, they can go in them and will not get wet or dirty. plus i think some like when the images disappear which happens when they are peed in. i think your little one is a bit young but if she is showing that she is interested in the potty then go for it. sometimes if you do it before they are ready they can regress. my opinion is to buy the cute panties with characters she likes. most kids do not like the sensation of pee running down their leg or messing up the pretty panties. to begin i had my daughter in nothing but panties while at home. hope this helps and good luck.

A.

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

The disposable pull-ups prolong the process in my opinion. They do not know they are wet compared to the cotton underpants. I used the cotton underpants during the day and at night the pull-ups, but he had no idea he was wet at night. I switched to the cloth "pull-ups" at night, and it did the trick! So, you can compromise. The cloth pull-ups are Bummis and have a waterproof exterior. In the long run, it will be MUCH less expensive than the disposables and you will be washing less clothes with accidents (you won't have to wash the outer clothes too!). To get thing started, I took a weekend and the first day, gave him juice whenever he wanted it (he never gets juice so this was a treat). I sat him on the toilet every 30 minutes. The next day was the same, but he started telling me when he needed to go and it was every 45 min or so. The next day, he didn't get juice but we sat on the toilet every 1.5 hours. After that, he got the picture and we were well on our way! Good luck.

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V.F.

answers from Scranton on

Honestly I would tell him to get over it. You are correct, pullups are a huge problem when it comes to potty training. Try getting some naked time in as well when you are home. While it may be feasible to take pullups with you when you are going out. When I had my fourth and I new she was finally catching on. I put a Graco potty chair in the van it has a lid that comes down on it. So if we had to stop she had somewhere to go and not just the side of the road. It was an abosolute lifesaver for us. Once we went off the diapers totally, we never looked back. I would carry 1-2 extra outfits at all times. And normally things went well. The key is being prepared for any event.

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C.D.

answers from Scranton on

First, I would wait until your daughter is almost 3 to start potty training. Unless she's already showing interest, I would wait. As for the pull ups, my husband and I felt they were a waste of time and money. We used them for months with our oldest and he didn't become consistent with using the potty until we took them away. Took about a week, he was not quite 3 1/2. Same thing with our youngest, but he was 3 almost to the day. I think he caught on faster b/c he started preschool a few days after he turned 3 and they had a great system - if a child had an accident, one of the teachers would walk them to the bathroom, they would undress themselves, used a wash cloth to wipe up with, then dress themselves. It was tedious, made them miss a fair amout of playtime and worked like a charm!

We Used Pull ups when away from home and at bed time until I was ready to tackle doing sheets every night and being woken up during the middle of the night when they had an accident. It took about a month (with both boys) until they went through the night w/o an accident consistenetly.

Good luck!

M.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

tell your hubby he won't have to clean up a mess 30 times a day who tinkles 30 times a day?lol Does your daughter understand about the potty? does she point and say potty like she wants to try? here's my take on it, girls are much eaisier than boys and to me pull ups are just for at night in case she has an accident. if she doesn't even say the word or ask about it she may not be ready yet, but if she is curious then get her her own potty tell her it is hers and see if she uses it. it is funny cause when you train to use the potty you find yourself askin 30 times a day LOL do you have to use the potty? good luck and it will happen whenever she is ready cause she'll get tired of those diapers especially when you buy her pretty underwear with flowers or dora on it etc. M. c

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M.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

In general, I agree with going straight to big girl panties, at least during the day. Most of the pull-ups do absorb quite a bit (though not quite as much as a diaper), so many kids will not see much difference and may train more slowly. If you go this route, there will be more messes (be sure to have carpet cleaner handy!), but most kids will train faster. With my oldest two we talked about the potty, sat on it, read potty books, and used pull-ups for a while in the prepping for potty training stage, but then when we really went for it (they were closer to 3) we said no more diapers or pull-ups. We did continue to use pull-ups at night as my kids are very deep sleepers and didn't fare well if I tried to wake them to go before I went to bed. For some kids the nighttime training comes quickly, but for some it can take months or even longer. With both of those children, the bulk of the potty training was done within a week or so - lots of messes, but pretty quick. We just arranged it so we didn't have to be out of the house a whole lot at that time.

With my third, we were constantly on the go with the older kids, and while she basically trained herself we did use the pull-ups much more. I just couldn't bear the thought of a carseat soaked in pee and still having to get her home, so for quite a while we did panties at home and pull-ups while out. She seemed to treat them both as panties, but I do think that's pretty unusual. If you go with the pull-ups, definitely try to convince them that Dora/the princesses/etc. want to stay dry. Also, we never found that the designs that fade when wet made much difference, but not they have pull-ups that feel cool or wet if the child pees in them, and that may work better.

One last thing that may help your husband if you go straight to panties. With my oldest, I would keep a tally of how many times she made it to the potty and how many accidents she had, and it was easy to see after a few days that the accidents were definitely getting less frequent and that helped in sticking with the plan.

Good luck!

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi A....Compromise! We started out with pull-ups and had mixed success with them durring the day. One of my daughters felt that going to the potty was an interuption of her day and why bother so I had to take them away and let her have an accident in her pants to get her over the hump of potty training. The other two were great with them to start and asked to wear panties when they figured out that they were more comfortable. But I didn't start training them until they were each 3 yrs old. I did use them at night without fail until my girls asked if they could wear panties to bed (no accidents in bed ever so that was a win). Don't argue over this...it's really not worth it. Try using the pull-ups at night and when you go out and not at home and see how it works. If she is ready it won't matter and she'll do it reguardless. Best wishes.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I used pull ups-but I told both of my kids that they needed to keep dora or whoever the character was on the pull up dry because they don't like to be wet. At first they weren't ready and I went through a lot of pull ups but then they got the hang of it.
It was a lot of hard work on my end but everytime they drank something I took them upstairs to sit on the potty. Every 1/2 hr I took them up regardless. At night I'd wake up and wake them up and take them to the potty.
But here's the thing-they need to be ready and trust me you'll know. When my two were ready it took a week for them to finally be in underwear-#2's were a bit harder that took another month but they would tell me most of the times so it was alright. Waking up to go pee at night took about a month as well.

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D.V.

answers from Pittsburgh on

pull ups gave my daughters a sense of accomplishment. they learned how to put them on and off. they also have the kind that get cool when wet so they want to take them off immediately. i just let my girls go naked during they day! they knew not to pee on the floor (after a few tries). my youngest one still wants to poop in her pullup, she will run and grab one, sneak away and do it. i hid them! all potty trained now! good luck!

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B.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

pull ups dont work. i wasted money and time on them. they feel the underwear and i just suggest to keep asking every half hour or hour if they have to go potty. My daughter is on day three of training. so far so good. Shes also 3 yrs old though. on her 3rd birthday i said no more pull ups. i was going to put them on her for bed time but she's been waking up dry.

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E.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

What about cloth training pants? They will provide the look and feel of "big girl" panties and provide a good bit of padding.

And I would tell your husband that if he thinks that kids pee 30 times a day, maybe he need to spend some more time with her. :-)

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N.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I just wanted to point out that she may not be ready. If she just turned two, then she is on the young side for using the potty. If she has lots of accidents in 'big girl' underwear she may feel discouraged.

I agree with skipping the pull-ups. I had to have several conversations with my daughter when she was around 32 months old explaining that pull-ups were basically diapers. She thought she was already wearing 'big girl' stuff.

And we always made a little potty and a potty seat available to her. She would use it with growing consistency at night and sometimes in the morning and occasionally at daycare. Then when she was almost three she just decided that she was ready. She pees and poops on the big potty now (it has been several weeks) and almost zero accidents.

Good luck!
N.

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S.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree with you about the pull ups. They are just as absorbent as diapers and she will never feel the wetness. Daddy needs to buck up and use a few wipes to clean up an accident or 2.

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N.H.

answers from Harrisburg on

I agree that pull-ups are too much like diapers and very expensive. I'm training my 27 month old twin boys and have them wear thick cotton training underwear which reduces the mess. I only use pull-ups when I absolutely have to (going somewhere where an accident is not an option). Good luck!

S.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

YOU ARE RIGHT!
Using pull-ups are completely counterproductive to the training process. Tell your hubby that's why babies in cloth train an average ONE YEAR earlier than those in pull-ups/diapers.
:)

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R.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree with you. As a teacher, I've found pull-ups are confusing for kids learning to use the potty because they're so similar to diaper. Skip the pull-ups and as a comprimise, opt for a couple of pairs of plastic training pants to go over the big girl undies. They'll contain the leaks he's worried about and your DD will be able to feel when she's wet.
Hope this helps and good luck!

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D.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi A.,

I was happy to see your question as I am trying to potty train my 23-month-old daughter Olivia!! Funny...anyway, I don't think she is ready for just big girl panties yet as she is still very young. We are still just using the diapers and asking her after meals, first thing in the morning, and before bath/bed. I don't think my husband is ready for cleaning up messes so I have not even brought up using big girl pants yet. Our daughter is interested thus far and we all get very excited and congratulate her every time she "goes potty". So far we are taking it slow and it seems to work...particularly since I work during the day and it is my husband home with her. We are just excited that she is beginning to ask for the potty. Also, I would say that if your husband is so opposed and hates the idea of cleaning up messes he might make the experience for your daughter unpleasant by virtue of maybe wanting to push her to "get it sooner" or if she sees him getting mad when she messes up. You want her to think of this as a positive experience. I am in the middle of the whole potty training myself so I can't tell you how it will resolve, but I think "slow and steady" usually wins the race. Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

There is really no "right" or "wrong" plan of attack. Just sticking to "the plan" is what's important. I used Pull Ups on my son and then underwear through the day and pull ups at night til he was night dry for about a week. No accidents after that.
Make sure she is "potty ready" before you start. She's a little young to expect a lot, IMO. Better to wait til she's ready and it will be over much quicker.

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M.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm not there yet in the potty training world, but I have heard that pull-ups can cause exactly the confusion you mentioned. I guess they're too similar to diapers for the kids to know the difference. Apparently the underwear's wetness makes them uncomfortable enough that they want to use the potty to avoid the wetness. Best wishes whatever you do!

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R.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Pull ups confuse the child - go with big girl panties. Use the pull ups when you go out. Get the thicker "Training Panties" It is summertime and the kids do tend to spend alot of time outside - so a lot less clean-up. Besides - if you take a break every few hours and place her on the potty - alot less likely to have accidents.

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