Potty Problems???? - Saint Johnsville,NY

Updated on January 20, 2007
J.F. asks from Saint Johnsville, NY
9 answers

My son is 5 years old and he still won't wipe himself. He says he doesn't want to get his hands icky! We tried flushable wipes and they worked for a little while but now we are back to the "WILL YOU WIPE ME WHEN I"M DONE?" I just don't know what to do!! If anyone has any ideas please let me know.
Thank you,
J.

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So What Happened?

Thank you to all the wonderful advice. At first nothing was working. Then I bought some lego fruit snacks and he wanted one. I said ok show me you can be a big boy and wipe yourself and then you can have one. He wanted me to just check and make sure he got it all, then it worked! Now, he does it and doesn't even ask for a reward!
Thanks again,
J.

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S.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,
My son, who is now 6 yrs old, was still having me wipe his butt when he was 5. I used a reward system. I told him that if he wiped himself for a whole week than he would get a toy. We kept track of the days of the week by using "tickets" that we taped to the calendar every day that he did it himself. He really looked forward to taping the tickets onto the calendar. That did work, but still today if his poop is what he calls "slimy" he will ask me to do it. That happens very rarely so I still do it, but soon I'll try to put a stop to that too. Good luck.
S.

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C.M.

answers from Albany on

My son is 5 and we still wipe him. I never thought of it even being a problem. I guess the only good thing is at least you know his area is being wiped properly. Have you immitated to him exactly what to do, if done properly he shouldn't get his hands dirty. Have him wrap the paper around his hand, then use the wipes to ensure it's clean. When all else fails there is always bribery....promise him something if he does it himself, also lots of praise, that always seems to work.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

PRAISE him while telling him NO without actually saying NO!...Say something like "Oh you are such a big boy, I know you can do it"...Guess what? if that little darling think his hands will be yucky, imagine how his bottom will feel.You can go as far as letting him walk around with a yucky bottom without giving in, trust me he won't like it. When he starts to complain about his yucky bottom, hand him fresh underwear and encourage him to wipe, and then encourage him to use the Big-boy soap! Don't point out the negative, re-direct him to the positive. Also, buy some of that Kiddie foaming soap, the pump bottle has cute designs on it and encourage him that after he wipes himself, he can use the BIG boy soap!! Always use positives when you want to re-direct your children to do what you want. If you don't start now, as he gets older, it'll be something else that he thinks is yucky and won't want to do. Also, get some cute colorful hand towels and get a Musical step-stool to put at the sink. As soon as he steps on it, it'll play songs!! Good-Luck, this will work. If you want his behavior to change, you have to change yours...Last, buy an children's Audio book on handwashing, bathing, etc...He can listen to it while on the Potty!!Keep in touch!

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A.O.

answers from New York on

My son is no where near this stage yet, but how about telling him "no". He has proven he is capable of doing it himself. Let him know you aren't doing it anymore and he'll have to walk around like that all day. He will be in kindergarten soon (if not already) and the teacher certainly won't do it for him. He's got to get used to do it. Maybe after a day of being uncomforable he'll change his mind. Even if this means more laundry for you it might be worth it.

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J.N.

answers from Binghamton on

From what I've seen with my cousin when he was little and potty trained, as well as my niece, they both used assistance beyond age 5. He will soon become embarrassed about having you do it for him. Don't worry, this won't go on forever. It's still normal for his age.

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T.W.

answers from Burlington on

Think of it another way; if he didn't ask you to wipe him he would either not wipe at all or not wipe good enough and then he would not smell very good pr worse get a rash.

I know if seems like this will "never" end but I assure you it does get better and eventually they feel they can do it. Everytime he asks you to wipe my opinion is to have him try with you there and you can give him kudos for doing so well and then you can finish if needed.

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S.M.

answers from New York on

Hi,
My son is the same age and the same way. I have had the talk with him about private areas and other people being innapropriate so I have explained to him that if he goes potty someplace other than home he can't have any other help. He seems to understand that well. Now at home I tell him to practice and then I will check or help. Most of the time it works and I am hoping to be able to let him dp it solo very soon. BTW, alot of my friend's kids are the same way.
Good Luck,
S.

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D.G.

answers from Chattanooga on

my 3 yr old has the same problem she knows how to wipe but won't do it. And she will walk around with poop in her undies till i notice & clean her up..She's extremely smart but thats 1 thing she won't do & i can't get her in school till she does it. Let me know if u find a method.

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J.S.

answers from New York on

My son is seven and he still has the occasion to not wipe himself well. I got many different opinions from people and tried many things but the most effective was simply being supportive and allowing him to gain confidence in himself so that he is able to do it. I have him wipe himself and occassionally I will check him and for my son this has been the most effective tool. Good Luck!

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