Need Help on Potty Training

Updated on October 01, 2008
M.E. asks from Killeen, TX
18 answers

My son is 2 1/2 years old and he's was doing great on using the potty, daddy came home from iraq and things got better... He got sick and I had to use pull ups when we were home because he had real bad poop. and now that he's all better he still isnt using the potty. He pees right in his underwear and poops in them. Doesn't even say anything. If he has nothing on, he's good, but I can't let him run around naked all day. His DR. said boys dont potty train til 5, but I know thats not true. please someone help me...

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your help with this, I am just now responding because I just got him potty trained in June of 09, it took some time, and I learned that disciplining him if he went in his pants was the only thing that worked. nothing else did.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Why can't you let him run around the house naked? We let my boys do it. And mine were potty trained at 2 1/2 and my 2 yr old is the process right now.... 5 yr old...that's crazy!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.A.

answers from Tallahassee on

Hi M.!
I know when I worked in a daycare, we had several boys that were late potty trainers and I have a son who was 3 in August and refuses to potty train, and haven't had any success using positive and/or negative reinforcement. Like you, my son was doing well for a while (we've been trying to potty train since he was 17 months old), and he has months where he does fairly well, and then he just completely regresses and hides and won't tell me, and will just sit in his poop all day. IT's Horrible! I know this isn't helping at all, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone and sometimes boys do take a little longer. Take care, and hope the training goes well and fast!
V.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Miami on

The more pressure you put on him to 'perform', the more likely it is that he will resist!
Put him back in pull-ups for a couple of weeks and don't even bring up using the potty.

You may find that if you don't devote any attention to it, he may decide on his own that he's ready.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would definitely not listen to your doc! If that were true there would be no boys in preschool since they require them to be potty-trained.
Start with the mindset of beginning all over. Have you tried the reward chart. pick something he really likes and once he has put up a certain # of stickers representing successful attempts he gets a reward (we used thomas trains) we started with just a few successes and then as he repeatedly got that number we made a new longer goal. as a short term reward he got to pick out 1 or 2 m&ms after each success.
It also helps to clear your schedule and do this over the course of one long weekend.
I also brought the potty out of the bathroom and put it where he could be right by it. Our son jsut didn't like leaving the action that was going on. Also any time your husband is home let him take your son to the potty and if he has to go let your son watch him too. sound weird but sometimes it helps if a boy sees another guy- he may want to "copy" his dad.bonding or biology-it sometimes works. plus its ok to let him go naked-you can even use it as a transition if you try the reward chart. show him how it works starting with no pants and then introduce big boy pants (let him pick them out so he feels its his choice)
I know its frustrating but 2 1/2 is really not that bad. boys seem to have more probs than girls for some reason. sorry if this was way long but I wanted to let you know all the stuff we tried and had success with. Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.Z.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi M.
Our son will be 4 on nov. 11th and he is just now pooping in the potty, and still has accidents. He has been working on this for it seems like years, but we have heard it takes longer for boys and having 7 kids total, we know each kid is differant and they go at their own pace. I know it sucks and really smells, just try to tell yourself it won't last forever and when it's over you'll be proud of yourself be being patience and loving. L. Z.

We promise chucke cheese or birthday cake or a day at the pool and that really does infuence them and we try to put him on the potty for him to atleast try when we know about what time he usually goes. Like around bedtime when he knows we are going to put the pull up on him. But if he is still going in his underwear he might not be ready (pee pee I mean). We also let ours run around with just a t-shirt on and put the potty in the living room next to the tv and when he has to go, he runs over to it and goes.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.R.

answers from Orlando on

Hi M.. First let me say thank you to you and your husband for the sacrifices of serving in Iraq. Our soldiers are the reason we are free and safe. God Bless you and your family and may God keep him safe.

Ok, onto the subject. Firstly what your doc said is bunk. My son is 3 1/2 and has been potty trained for almost a year. I had the same issue you did. He got sick and had horrible belly troubles and had to be in pullups. Afterward it was confusing to him to have to go in the potty again. So I did let him run around naked at home. Whenever he was naked he would go in the potty. So then what I did was start by not putting underwear on him, just a pair of shorts. It seemed he understood the difference between underwear and pants. He would not go in his pants, but would in underwear. Then as time progressed I started putting underwear on him again. It worked out very well. But I had to start by staying home for about a week and letting him run around naked the whole time to get him used to using the potty again. Once he was used to running in there and going when it was time to go he did not think twice about it. Hope this helps you some. Take care and good luck with your lil ones.

T.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.R.

answers from Pensacola on

I've got 4 children. The oldest is a girl, 3 younger are boys. Girl was potty trained with no complications at 2. Oldest boy was between 2-3 when he was fully trained. No complications. Right now I have a 3 1/2 year old boy and a 20 month old boy. The 3 1/2 year old will pee in the potty, but has poop issues. He still isn't able to go a full naptime without peeing, so I know he isn't physically ready. He's been wearing underwear and peeing on the potty for about a year now. I don't know what my youngest is going to be like.
The one thing I know for sure is that each child is their own person. They do things on their own timeline. The accomplish goals their own way. You cannot expect one to do what the other did because they're different people. There's a general timeline for milestones, but with each person it can vary greatly. I wouldn't push it. Keep taking him to the potty. Keep teaching him about the potty, etc. But don't try to force him to go. Try to stay positive. He will be potty trained eventually. It's not something you need to worry over.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

My daughter did the same thing when she was training. She got sick with a stomach bug and regressed to pull ups for a while. I would not push it to hard. 2 1/2 is young for a boy. I would let him take the lead and let him wear pull-ups and when he is ready he will ask about wearing underwear again. I had to do this with both my girls. Also he may have some accidents once he starts with underwear again for a week or so. But keep the undies on and see how it goes. just don't push him or make it a power struggle. Just remember this to shall pass and he will not go to kindergarten in pull-ups.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.C.

answers from Ocala on

well this lady i knew had a day care at her house and this is what she did. she bought one of those M&M guys where you put like a penny in it and it gives you candy. well everytime they made potty they knew they got to pull the M&M guys arm down and get candy. so they would make potty just to do that.she says it really work.

now in a parenting class the lady there said get your kids a book at the store they really want and love. and make it their potty book. they can only see and hold the book or pretend read the book when they sit on the potty. all other times you put the book up high and whent hey ask to see it you say "now you know that is your special potty time book." and under no circumstances let them have it otherwise.

hope one or both of these idea help you.

i had boys one was about 2 1/2 when he finally got it. the other was about 2, i really never knew any child not being trained till 5. my niece has 2 boys ans a baby girl. her boys are 4 and 3 (just turned those ages) the 4 year old has been trained for about a year and the 3 year old is really doing good right now with it.yeah she and i both agree pull ups set them back cause they fill too much like a diaper.good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Orlando on

i would just give it time. kids are sensitive to change and most kids regress a little while potty training.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.L.

answers from Miami on

I have a 24 month old and he has been completely out of diapers for just over a week. We have printed out a potty chart from childavenue.com. We started out by giving him a sticker each time he sat on the potty and "tried". Then we gave stickers for only when he went. I am not a big advocate for giving candy as a reward so we went with something a bit more tangible. I know some of my friends took them out for a treat or a toy when they finished the chart but we just sang and cheered and started the next one. Any time he had an accident we still put him right on the potty and said go ahead and finish in here. I have heard boys are more difficult but it depends on your child. IMO, there is a window right about 2 where they can do it successfully. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Daytona Beach on

What worked for my son was completely switching him to underwear (real, regular underwear). For the first day he was outside most of it incase he had an accident but we also had his potty outside in the backyard so he could get it to quickly.

Of course, he's had a few accidents. Mainly because he forgets to push 'it' down but he's never looked back to the underwear. Once he was fully potty trained I explained that he no longer needed the diapers and we were going to give them to a friend's baby. He got so excited because I told him we would be giving a gift to the baby.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.S.

answers from Panama City on

M.,
This is called a set-back. It's ok, and normal. When kids get sick, things have to change to be more convenient and catered to their needs. Now, you are back at ground zero, but with experience. Let him use pullups for a while until he shows signs of wanting to go to the potty again. Just be patient and it will happen.
Take Care,
T. (mom of 4)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Panama City on

Hey M.. My son will be 3 in November and just the last couple of months he's been potty trained. During May and June, I didn't think he'd ever get this potty thing down, but then one day, out of nowhere, he just decided it was time to start going to the bathroom! I thought I was going to pull my hair out, because I felt he clearly knew what he was doing, but hang in there, one day he'll probably just surprise you and start using the potty! Good luck. Be consistant and patient!
M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Gainesville on

I am sad that your pediatrician was unable to offer you information and support with your issue. I know this is beside the point, but I would look for a new pediatrician if I were you. I cannot imagine a doctor saying that a child could not be potty trained until they are five years old (barring any physical or mental difficulties, of course). That is ridiculous! They have to be potty trained to start preschool, and look at how many three year olds are in preschool...a LOT. Even VPK starts at 4 years old, and they definitely have to be potty trained for that.

It took me three tries until we finally found an excellent pediatrician when my oldest was almost 2 and my youngest was four months, and it has made a world of difference. He offers information and support with all aspects of developmental issues including sleeping AND potty training, which is an achievable goal, even in boys, by age three. We were already done with potty training when my son went for his 3yo check up, but our pediatrician asked about it anyway and offered support.

It sounds to me like your son is right on track, just had a little set back. Keep up the good work and be consistent with him, it may take a few more months until he finally "gets it" but you will get there.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.G.

answers from Orlando on

Boys are notoriously difficult to potty train--especially with pooping on the potty. Give him time. My son was peeing on the potty before he was 3. He didn't poop on the potty consistently until he was 3 1/2. Don't worry, he'll do it in his own time. 2 1/2 is still pretty young.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Miami on

M., my son is 26 months old and I've been potty training him the same way I potty trained my girls...let em' run around naked all day. My son is the same way; if he has ANYTHING on (pull up, diaper, shorts with no underwear) he will pee in them but as long as he is naked, he tells me. The trick to potty training is being consistent. Why can't you let him run around naked all day? Are you a working mom? I don't work so I am OK with him naked all day. Before I go out, I put him on the toilet and he'll be do his business and be fine until I get home. What is strange is that once we are out of the house, he will tell me he has to go(if he has to go) and I've gone so far to ask if he can hold it and he has! My friend had her son potty trained at 15 months so for your doctor to say that boys cannot potty train until the age of 5 is crazy. You are on the right track. YOu are potty training him so keep up the good work.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I'm in the process of potty training my 4th son. The oldest is almost 22 and the youngest will be 3 on the oldest birthday. I started with the oldest at 22months,he was 3 before it finally clicked (I was also 20.) The second and third I waited till they were 2 1/2 and it seemed they trained overnight (I'm sure not so quickly just easier than the first) There dad was home during the day with the second and the third was in daycare (they go on regular intervals.) With the last one I also waited till he was 2 1/2 and am a stay at home mom again. I am getting the same slow results as I did with his older brother. He will be 3 on Halloween and I am not stressing over it. At 42 and 4 boys later I have learned to choose my battles and I figure as long as he is not going to kindergarten in diapers I'm doing good. The pullups are a mistake (I've used them too.) If its not running down their legs they have no idea they are doing anything wrong. Like my oldest says "mom, we were in diapers all that time and now you expect us to do WHAT?" ha ha! Just dont dispair. He will catch on eventually. His dad taking him as often as he can will probably help more. Try to take him when you go also. Just as a reminder to you both. Best of luck. di

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches