Help with Sleep Habits of a 22 Month Old

Hi P.,
Wow, potty trained at 22 months? I'm impressed!
Anyway, I had major problems with my daughter going to sleep on her own as well. She is now 27 months old and now takes naps and goes to bed without any problems. This is how I changed this habit.
First, you need to get on a strict bedtime/naptime schedule.
I always start by reminding her that it will be bedtime soon. I'll usually do this about 2 times and then the third time I say "ok, it's bedtime!" Then we go into her bathroom and brush teeth, then I let her walk herself into her room, give hugs and kisses and then I read her 3 short books.
The trick was to read the SAME 3 books to her. I did this for weeks! So, when I got to the last book, I would say, "after this book, you are going to sleep." If she cried, I would go in there for two seconds to tell her to go to sleep, and then leave. First at 5 minutes, then 10 and so on and so on. It will be tough, but you really have to be consistant and never give in.
After a week of this, my daughter knew what to expect and stopped crying after I left. Now, it's wonderful! I rotate books now, but always read the same last book for a week or so.
I believe a strict schedule worked perfectly for my toddler.
Now, if I can just get her to stay sleeping the whole night! But,that's another story!!
Good luck!

Hi P.,
We had that same problem with our daughter, now 5 and learned how hard it is to break a habit. So when our son, now 2-1/2 started wanting to be held to sleep I stuck to my guns with a routine that included him falling asleep in his bed (my husband does not always follow suit so we still have problems from time to time). From what I've been told and experienced myself it is all about routine night after night. Make sure you set a routine and that you and your husband follow the same one. You need to prepare her that you will be leaving - we used a 3 song warning. Our children fall asleep to lullabies. So they know they get 3 songs then we leave. At the end of the 1st song we say "you have 2 more" then after the 2nd "this is our last song then it's time for good night". At the end of the 3rd song, hug, kiss and leave the room. She will probably cry and call out for a while the first night. With our daughter the first night she screamed for over an hour. We went back after 5 minutes, re-tucked her in and left, then let her cry for 10 minutes, then 15 mintues etc until it ended. Night 2 it was better, Night 3 - she slept! We didn't have to "break the habit" with our son so with him we have always said "I'll be back in a little bit to check on you" which we always do before we go to bed. That seems to appease him most of the time.

Best of luck... I'm not sure if you believe in the "cry it out" method but it worked for me, as difficult as it was to not go in and just rock her to sleep.

Don't worry.... she will get there. Just not yet.
Once she is in her 2's.... it will get better.
What she is going through is normal.... BOTH my kids did that too. They are changing so much at this age... its only normal that they have trouble with winding down/sleeping too. Growing pains. Its not easy for a child either.

Next, a child will develop night-time fears of the dark etc. and night-mares. So head's up on that. That puts a kink in their sleep too.

Don't worry about 'dependency.' BECAUSE as a child naturally matures.... (their emotions aren't even 'fully' developed yet at this age), they WILL get better at sleeping, 'independently.' And its not about 'dependency'... but rather... they need comforting and their parent. Night time can be scary for a child or a time of insecurity and unknowns. BOTH my kids took about an hour to actually fall asleep as well, at that age.

Soon, it will be just a distant memory. She will be fine and is fine.

Just make sure you have a wind-down time and quiet time before bed... even an hour prior. THEN, get into your bedtime routine... and the pacing will help her.
Next, try being in the room with her as she is in her bed, BUT sit on a chair nearby instead. (that is what we did too). Then slowly... in time, she will get used to this. AND put a night-light in her room or let her have her own flashlight to keep in bed with her as well as lots of 'loveys' to keep her company IN bed with her.
My daughter, likes to make a 'nest' as she calls it, and routinely puts all her stuffed animals and comfy/cozy things in bed with her and then she feels secure and 'safe.'

But mostly, don't worry. She will grow out of it. 22 months old to me, is still pretty young to be TOTALLY independent about bedtime. Each child is different as well. Just don't turn it into a 'battle' or a time of challenges. If you go with the flow, and it is peaceful, it will help her to get adjusted to sleeping by herself.

It won't last long and one day you will 'miss' the closeness of this routine. I did. :)

But heck, even Adults have a hard time sleeping too sometimes, and even for me, it can take 1 hour just to fall asleep even if I'm tired. So, I don't expect my kids to fall asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow either.

All the best,
Susan

I wish I had some suggestions about making bedtime easier. I am responding because I noticed you said your 22 month old was potty trained. I am a mother of a 22 month old girl and she had no interest at all. I want to start her in a preschool 2 mornings a week, just for social interaction, but the school I love won't allow her to go until she is reliably potty trained. If you would pass on any tips and ideas you used, I would really appreciate it. Thanks so much.

I would try to break this habit asap. My daughter is 10yrs old and I still have to pat her back. She tries to get me to lay down with her but I refuse. Now she just lays down with me and my husband sleeps in her room. It has been an ongoing battle and I am so done. It just gets worse. Try the Jo Frost books. She has some great ideas on bed time. I wish she was around when my daughter was a baby. By the time they are 10 it is too late. I am just hoping she grows out of it and soon.

Hi P., I'm going to assume that you have been laying down with your daughter for at least 4 months, so this habit may be hard to break for her. So now you need to start a bed time routine that makes her feel just as loved and secure. What we did, my first child at 22 months was in a twin bed, I rocked him sang him a couple songs, tucked him in, read a story, prayed with him. said see you in the morning, and we continedued that with our next 2 and then our daughter, it was cool cause we would gather in our sons room for the story and prayer time then tucked our daughter in her bed in her room. From 6 weeks on we never had sleep issues with our kids. J. L.

You could just tell her this is it and let her cry I had a hard time doing that so I would slowly get away first night lay next to her then lay on floor next to bed slowly get closer to the door until you are finally out of her room it may take a few nights but it will work. Good luck

Aloha Patti,

This sounds pretty normal for a 22 month old to want that comfort of having mom or dad around. And it sounds to me like you are both wonderful parents and care about your daughter ver much. Here's something that works for many parents. Read her to sleep. This will help to create the happiest, most comfortable situation for your daughter. She might even fall asleep faster and won't feel deprived of her parents. Children are such a wonderful blessing. My son is a wonderful part of my life and I am now a very blessed grandmother! I am a parent mentor and I love helping parents raise responsible children! Visit http://www.lorrainepursell.com/