Getting Rid of the Paci

We got rid of it for my son sometime between 18 months and 2 years of age...I just snipped the top off of it a little, so when he put it in his mouth, he knew it felt different. Then when he kind of showed it to me (like "what's wrong with this?") I told him it was broken, and that we would have to throw it away. So I let him throw it away in the trash. It took him a day or so to get used to sleeping without it, but it gave him some control over the matter in that I allowed him to throw it away.

When my daughter moved from the baby room to the toddler room at daycare when she was 16 mos, the paci's went into a jar. The kids had to ask for them at nap time & after a couple of weeks my daughter stopped asking for it.

I would put the paci in a box or something similar that she cannot see into. Tell her where the paci is & if she needs it, go get it. Out of sight, out of mind.

If she is not crying - just having a party - I would think that's okay. She will learn to fall asleep w/out it. My daughter would have quiet time, she would "read" books or play quietly on her bed. 9 times out of 10 she would fall asleep within 10 mins.

Best of luck!!

If it were me I would just throw all the pacifiers away and in a few days she won't miss them. Try other ways of calming her. She may be acting silly so you come back. I would ignore her antics.

Hi Annie,

some kids are very oral. let her tire of it naturally. it doesn't hurt her and, in fact, one medical report says adults who had oral needs met in youth were less likely to become smokers, etc.

i think it's the same with thumb suckers, the child will grow out of it [one of my daycare providers would say have you ever seen a person getting married wearing diapers or with a paci?]

thanks for considering my 2 cents. OH Yes, i just remembered that once i saw my math teacher from high school in the voting line with her 4 year old daughter who was holding a bottle. i realized that this woman was intelligent and had lots of schooling, she knew her daughter needed her bottle at that time.

it's all temporary '-)

K.

Hey there,

I was amazed with some of the other suggestions I read. If you talk to speech therapists and dentists they will tell you that prolong use of a paci is bad news. Its ok for the first year or so, but once teeth come in its time to let it go. It really hurts the development of the mouth. Since your daughter didn't ask for it I would throw them away and be done with it. It may take her a day or two to learn how to settle down without it, but since she wasn't screaming hysterical I would give her a chance to learn how to settle on her own. If she spends an hour or so trying to fall asleep and can't thats ok too. Maybe she has a rest time (without sleep) and let her get back up. If she is extra tired at bed time due to lack of nap, put her to bed earlier for the evening. Being extra tired she will give into the sleep monster and settle down. She might have trouble until she finds her new way of falling asleep, but you need to let her work it out. At some point she will have to give up the paci. Its easier when they are younger then when they are older. If it was a blanket or stuffed animal I would tell you to let her out grow it in her own time because it wasn't hurting anything. However, check with your dentist and school speech therapists and they will tell you to take it away as soon as you can. If you are uncomfortable going cold turkey then I suggest you try cutting the end and letting her realize its broken. Good luck!

Hi J.

We took my 23 month old's paci away about 3 months ago. I only gave it to her at nap time and at bedtime for the last month or so. Than I took it away cold turkey at nap time and at bedtime. My daughter was very attached to her paci. It took her about a week to be able to fall alseep easy without it. I wanted to give into her so bad and give it back to her. I knew that I had to stand my ground. I will tell you it is not very easy, but you have to stay frim. Good Luck!

My children were both closer to 3 when we took it away. For my son we just told him a few days in advance and then we gathered them all up. He got to pick out a new toy in exchange. He was never much of a napper so it wasn't an issue for naps, at bed time he cried the first night and was fine.

For My daughter we had the "nucky fairy" come. We told her The fairy would take her old nuckys and turn them into brand new ones for brand new babies. I Got her a new stuffed animal for the first night without, a pink cow because she is fasinated with cows and loves pink :) The first night she cried for over an hour, but stayed in her room, each night it was less. Hvaing a replacement item helped to caml her down, having used the nuck fairy I could explain that she was too big and the new babies needed them. She would ask about "where my nucky" for a few weeks, so having an explanation worked for us.

Even though your daughter is younger I think the Fairy is a good way to help transition, gives a tangible way to say goodbye to the paci. She may not fully understand but it could still help. Giving her a replacable object from you also helps, a snugali.

I would take them away at bed time, and DONT give them back, she will start to think if she stays up, cries ect eventually you will give in. She has been dependant on her Paci for sleep for a long time it will be an adjustment for her to learn how to calm down and go to sleep with out it! Be patient, distract yourself so your not having to wait it out just listening to her, Good Luck!

we just took away the paci from our 24 month old daughter a few weeks ago. We hid all her pacis a few days earlier, then cut the tip off the existing one. she noticed right away and said 'paci broken' but still used it that afternoon and evening. the next day she kept saying 'paci broken' and after her afternoon nap, she said 'paci broken... garbage' she herself threw it away! that night, she did say 'where paci go' and we reminded her that it was broken, so she threw it away. she whined a little bit, but we allowed her to take a new toy (small elmo) to bed instead. it was that easy! except that her wake up times have been about 5.45- she used to sleep until 6.30 or 7.. i think she wakes up now and can't sooth herself back to sleep... good luck!!
(funny enough- we went out of town this weekend and used her elmo backpack that we hadn't used in month.. of course it had a paci in it that she found!!opps! we let her use it over the weekend and told her our friends puppy 'ate it' - and that worked too!)

stick with it, she'll eventually get tired enough to go to sleep. Try some wind down time before nap, play some soft music and read a story together. My son was only a nap/nighttime paci taker. When he started going to daycare at that age, they siad they don't allow a paci and we found out he didn't really need it. We took it away at home, and every now and then he'd ask for it, and we'dd just tell him "all gone".

I agree, why would you want to take away her paci at such a young age? If she is just using it to self sooth for sleep situations it is not going to cause problems at this age. My son used it a lot more than that until he was almost 3 with no side effects. Be happy that she is such a great sleeper with it and relax and enjoy.

Hi Annie! Well your daughter sounds like she's doing really great at only having her paci at nap and bedtimes. It it really a goal of yours to have her give it up completely now?
My girls were both past 2 when they gave theirs up. I never had anybody complain about them having one. Perhaps if you let her keep it for going to sleep until she's a little bit older she'll understand the paci fairy then? Best wishes to your family! : )

She didn't ask for it. She didn't ask for it. She was teaching herself how to calm and settle herself down on her own and you interupted that natural process when you went in to give it to her, because you wanted her to have it :)

Hi Annie,

I am a pediatric speech pathologist and I want to congratulate you on limiting paci use to nap and bedtime! Pacis are a great way for kids to soothe and organize themselves. It really helps their little bodies to settle down. They get to be a problem when they are used all day long and when they are left in when kids talk.

At this point, it seems like the paci in bed is a sleep cue your daughter uses to tell her when it is time to go to sleep. Some of us read; some of us watch tv; your daughter uses her paci to get ready to sleep. This is a great thing! As she gets older, she will learn other ways to soothe herself. You might want to think about letting her keep it a while, especially since she is only using it in bed.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

I had to do the same thing with my son a couple months ago. I found this idea on this site at the time and that was... I took him to Build a Bear with his pacifiers (it was a very special thing because we never go there) and let him pick out someone very special and put his pacifiers in that stuffed animal! It worked great for us and he sleeps with the stuffed animal instead. He tells his worries to it and the nuks are right near the heart to keep giving him lots of love....

Good Luck!

Hi there,
My thoughts are this....think what is best for the child!!! She obviously does not need the paci anymore...she did not even cry without it!! You need to let her find new ways to self-soothe. She will eventually fall asleep - if she is playing in her crib or crying in her crib - she WILL fall asleep. My best advice is for you to be strong and stick to your decision is get rid of it. My son (at 14 months) cried for 2 nights and then never again. Just be strong, do what is best for her --- you can do it!! :):) L.

Hi,

Why don't you try just having her throw it away...and then don't ever give it to her again. You have to follow through after you make a decision to do something...this goes for all the choices you make for your children. They have to know that when you say something that is what you mean, and if you are always changing your mind then she won't realize that you might mean it this time, or do you? If you follow through and be consistent, always, she will know exactly what you mean when you say or do something.

Good Luck!!!

C.

My son also used his paci for nap and night. As they started breaking, I would show him how it was broken and we would throw them out. We were down to 1, and about two weeks ago, he woke up and told me it was broken. I looked at it and said we'll have to throw it out, and he said "I have it one more time?" I said sure, and then he sucked on it and threw it away himself. Didn't even ask for it after that. I would say give her time. Unless you feel strongly about it, let her decide (within reason) when to throw it out. I've heard most kids are done with it between 2-1/2 and 3 yrs - my son will be 3 in October. Trust your instincts about whether she needs to give it up just yet. If she doesn't chew it, but you think she's ready - you can always "break" them for her...

My daughter especially was hooked on her paci for quite some time. It was pretty easy though for us to get rid of it, but she prompted the decision to get rid of them. What she did was start to chew on the nipple part and they'd tear, so we'd throw them away. Eventually she worked her way down to one single pacifier and we told her that if she chewed it, we would have to throw it away and there was no more. We told her that she was a big girl and big girls don't need pacifiers. And well, it happened, so we actually had her walk it to the trash and throw it in there! My husband and I braced ourselves for a long night of tossing and turning and crying, but she did amazingly well without it, and we haven't looked back since! At the time though she tried her best to convince us that the stores had more and she could get more, but we told her that the stores wouldn't let us buy anymore since they were only for babies, and she was a big girl. Even though your daughter is not chewing on them, I'm sure you could have some come up "missing", and then tell her that there are no more. Leave her with one and maybe she will "loose" it someday! :) Good luck!

We cut our son's paci; split it almost like a banana...
He would suck on it a little but didn't like it. Then he just ended up holding it and squeezing it for comfort. It took time... he would just hold his paci for a long time and eventually found a stuffed animal that comforted him. She is still pretty young... and needs it to settle. I can only say if you want to cut it cold turkey... you may need to wind her down a bit before a nap (which I am sure is obvious to you...). My daughter needs a lot of wind down time to settle for a nap and it is really annoying to me. I think if you are only doing it at naps and bedtime you are in the right direction. She will get it... maybe introduce something else to sooth her...My son even used one of the stress/squeeze balls for a long time to sooth himself. It is not always something cute and cuddly.

21 months is a little early to be taking the paci away. My sons pediatrician said they are fine until age 3, his dentist said age 4. When my son was about 2 1/2 he started biting his. When he bit through the last one he was done. He was almost three and old enough to understand. He asked for it a couple times but accepted my answer that they were all gone. If you do decide to take it away now then do it all the way. Explain to her that the paci is all done and then don't cave in by giving it back. That would be sending mixed messages and will be telling her that you don't always mean what you say. My advice is to relax and let it happen more naturally. The paci will be ancient history by the time she gets to Kindergarten!

Hi:
Our daughter was attached to her paci 24/7 when she became part of our family through adoption. So, you are already ahead of the game since your little one only uses her's at nap and bedtime. We needed to cut back on the paci because it was (according to our Dr) interfering in our child's speech development. This worked like a charm: First day we poked a hole in the paci. Baby still had the paci but it didn't provide quite as much pleasure. A few days later we started cutting slices off the top. Every few days another slice until we were left with only the plastic handle. Our daughter lost interest in the paci and that was that. No tears! No trauma! Best of luck to you!

Hi J.-
Our ped recommanded a long time ago; to start cutting the end off of the paci a little each night. By the end of the 4th night there was nothing left for our son to suck on & no problems what so ever.

Hi Annie!

I think things sound like they are coming along just fine! I was just wondering why you've decided to get rid of the paci at this time. I'm not in any way suggesting that it is a bad thing to do, but also wanted to say that if she only uses it at naps and bedtime, chances are she'll let it go on her own at some point. In the meantime, there's no harm in letting her use it as a sleep tool - especially if it helps YOU get some rest. Most kids I know have something that helps them sleep or feel safe at night - a paci, a special blanket, or whatever. And then they just grow out of it. So unless it is important to you to stop that association right now, I'd say that there's no harm in letting her give it up when she just decides to move on. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

On a trip to the beach one day, we were taking a boat ride, my daughter (hopelessly addicted to her paci) opened her mouth and the paci fell out into the water. Of course we couldn't reach it, so we explained that she was a big girl now, and there was a baby fish who needed her paci. It actually worked, and she was so proud that her paci went to a baby fish who needed it. If you can orchestrate something similar, it might just work.

I had the exact same story with my son just a little older then your daughter. We cut a small hole on the top of the paci and then he didn't want it. It did take longer for him to get to sleep but now it's just the way it is and he has adapted just fine. She will quit the paci when you the parent decides. At least that is what we found out. Good luck.

B. S
40 yr old mother of a 28 month old fabulous boy and a husband of 11 yrs.

I have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter that also loves her "sucks" during sleep time. My dtr had 7 sucks that she truly loved! A few weeks ago I told her that the "suck fairy" was coming to get some of her sucks and give them to little babies that needed them. We addressed an envelope and she put the stamp on and put 5/7 sucks in and placed the envelope in the mailbox. When she woke from her nap, she found a gift from the "suck fairy." She now knows what will soon happen to her remaining 2 and looks forward to looking in the mailbox again for a surprise. Good luck...I know how hard it can be to stand your ground! I'm also taking advice from all of the responses you got! : )
A.

I had tow daughters that were in love with the paci and I did the same thing for both of them and it worked :) I did it cold turkey like you, explaining that the paci was bad for their teeth and that they were big girls. They did the exact same thing your daughter did, but they also cried for tow naptimes and two bedtimes, but then they were fine. I would do it on a long weekend where maybe your husband can help, because the nights might be less restful :) Now, if I could only figure out how to get my other daughter to stop sucking her thumb :)

S.