Breaking My 2 1/2 Year Old from Pacifiers

Updated on March 02, 2009
A.L. asks from San Diego, CA
32 answers

Hello,

I am going to break my son of using pacifiers at naps and bedtime....these are the only times he is allowed to use them. I would love some advice on the best and fastest way to do this. I know I am in for many tears because if he loses one of the two he has, he wakes up and won't go back to sleep until he has one in his hand and one in his mouth. I didn't go through this with my other children so I am at a loss.
I am open to suggestions for sure.

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So What Happened?

Hello all,

Thanks so much for all of your wonderful responses and stories. Now for the irony of it all.....so here I am, worried about this issue, then I'm fired up with all these great solutions, getting ready to start the process when both his poppers broke due to chewing on them so much. Both within a 24 hour period. So I pulled the tips off to keep him from detaching them and choking. Well, apparantly they just didn't do the trick anymore, so he just stopped asking for them and for the last 3 days he has gone to nap and bedtime with no complaints, not even a tear. I will say I have been saying a little prayer for him to just let the poppers go without all the anxiety and I believe the prayer was answered. Thanks again everyone!!!

A.

More Answers

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L.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I use to work in a pediatric dental office and had this question almost daily.
We rec putting a hole in the tip so there will be no suction-This usually worked per the parents feedback.
Another suggestion is make a big deal about wrapping it up for the fairy or the garbagemen.Get a box,wrapping paper and a bow and explain that they are taking it to babies who need them.This also worked well.
These are the top 2 things we rec-hope one works for you. L.:)

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with Jennifer about introducing a new object. For my son, he had trouble sleeping without me near him (we co-sleep) and I needed to find a way for him to transition away from my being there. We introduced a stuffed animal as part of the bedtime and naptime routine, and it was his 'dino buddy' that he reached for instead of Mommy.

We did this over a three week period of time. I talked with him about it, and showed it to him and brought it out only for sleep times. We'd cuddle with it and talk about it. Overtime, I was able to move away during sleep times to get stuff done.

Today at 30 months, he will ask for his dino buddy during sleep times and this is his source of comfort if he needs it.

Good Luck!

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☼.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hi A.,
We used the ole Binky Fairy, too. First we worked up to it by talking about it. We said, "You know, once children get a certain age, they don't need their binkies anymore. So when the time is right, the binky fairy will give your pacifiers to a brand new little baby who really, really needs the binkies because they are so little."

Our daughter was so attached (she literally had that thing in her mouth from morning through the night), we really did it up. We wrote a beautiful letter from the fairy, decorated it, and it arrived in our mail box. We made a big to do about it. The letter had a specific date (a couple of days later) and told us how to do it. We wrapped up all the pacifiers in a box, ceremoniously put it in the mailbox to mail to the fairy.

Two days later, a thank you letter arrived from the fairy, with a picture of the brand new baby that received it, with some information about her (my co-worker had just had a baby, worked out perfectly!). All of this really helped my daughter make it final.

BTW, we did all this at 2 years old. Now 3.5 years old, she still has that picture of the baby and we talk about her and how she must be doing great w/ those binkies. Just to let you know, we thought we'd have about two weeks of difficulties getting over this -- especially at night time. Not at all. Our daughter handled it like a champ and got over it very quickly. You'll be surprised!!

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L.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,

I have paci girls. My 4 year old LOVED her paci's. We did the same thing a limited it to bed time. At 2.5 we cut the end off just one day, one time and gave it back to her and said the paci is broken. She maybe cried one night for it, and never again. Maybe that will work for you. But it was fine for us that way.

Take care,
Leah

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

A visit from the binky fairy sometimes works. Place the binky under his pillow or on the front porch. The binky fairy picks them up at night to give to new babies and leaves a special animal, toy or blankie in its place. If outside, sprinkle a little glitter or confetti too.

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A.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hello A.

The way that I got rid of my sons Binky, is that we take all of them that we found in the house and we got a few heleium balloones (I don't think I spelled that right sorry.) and we tied the binky's to the balloones and told our son that the babies in heaven needed them so we have to share them and we let him let it go and that was it. He did ask for them a few time over the frist few days but we told him the same thing that the babies in heaven needed them and after a couple of days he forgot about it. some of my friends and family members have uesed this method and it has worked for all of them. I hope that this has helped. Have a good day!

A.

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P.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

Honestly, my daughter was the pacifier queen...completely addicted to them...and, she had to have TWO at a time as well, one in her mouth, and one under her nose...I think it was the rubber nipple that she loved the feel of...needless to say, we thought it would be horrible to wean her of. Well, she had them until she was 3 and once she turned 3 she was very able to understand and comprehend what we said and I sat down and had "the visit" with her about her being a big girl now and when she turned 3 years old the binkys were going to go away and never come back. We threw them in the garbage together (where they couldn't be gotten again) and it was truly amazing...the fight we thought we'd have, the crying we thought we'd endure, I just held my breath knowing the "fight" we had ahead, but,...there was NONE of that. So, it truly was harder for US adults then it was on our daughter. She was just o.k. with the whole thing and it was never a problem from that day on. Yay, we were done with lost binkys, etc., etc. Wayyyy easier than we ever thought it would be.

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J.D.

answers from San Diego on

I had trouble with the bottle for my son but all I did was get rid of them all but one and then over a 2 week period I kept telling him that the bottle was for babies and that babies needed the bottle. I also would put milk in it only water and slowly got rid of it. I would start with taking it away at nap time and then bed time.

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

No offense, but why? Your child is only 2.5 and there is plenty of time to deal with this. Your son is clearly benefitting from a comfort object, and he does not use it enough to affect his speech or his teeth.

You might want to figure out why this is bugging you so much - your wording of the issue sounds hostile - break him of the paci. As the mom of older kids you know that there are plenty of control issues to come - do you really want to start it now over nothing? Good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

hello unfortunatlly i really have no advice but i do wish u the best of luck i have seen the process of binky breaking be really hard luckily i didnt have that problem both of my sons who took a binky gave them up all on thier own well before 1 yr of age. Good Luck!!

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E.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,

We have a 2 year old who we just recently (about 2 weeks ago) weaned from the pacifier cold turkey. It's the only fast way to do it. It took faster than we expected. Kids adjust fairly quickly, quicker than adults. She still asks for it once in a while but we've been consistent in telling her the pacififer is now broken and in the trash. She understands that. The first couple of nights, we made sure we comforted her in other ways, like I rocked her on the rocking chair in my arms or sang a lullaby with my arms around her in bed. She's totally off it now and what a relief to not have to frantically look for the pacifier (which gets lost often) as she's crying her head off. Now she complains for a tiny second, then she's asleep. She actually sleeps the whole night now where before she would wake up to look for her pacifier. Anyway, this worked for us. Hang in there. It'll be fine.

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C.P.

answers from San Diego on

Hi A.,

I never experienced this myself, but I have read from other mothers who replied to the same questions in the past. I have seen several mothers suggest cutting the tips of the pacifiers off little by little each night until there is nothing left. They say this helps to wean them from the pacifier rather than cutting it cold turkey.

Also you can tell him something with that such as the Pacifier Prince (or something) is coming to collect the pacifiers now since he is a big boy. The Prince is going to give those pacifiers to other little boys and girls in the world who need them now. Something along those lines.

Good luck!

-Char

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Time for a visit from the pacifier (or whatever you call it) fairy! Tell your son that there are many babies in the world that need his pacifiers more than he does now because he's a big boy. Gather them up in a bag or basket and then hang them in a tree (or on a bush or under a bush if you have no trees) before bed. During the night you remove them and leave a gift for him behind to show he's a big boy now, something really cool. There may be some tears but not as many. Good luck!

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D.V.

answers from Las Vegas on

I remember the those days ! Only one of my four children needed his pacifier. We had 6 "reserves" in the house because he would always lose it. I still recall whenever he needed his pacifier, all the other kids would run around searching and hollering "Pacifier Alert" .....that meant, everyone had to stop and help find the pacifier or else we won't hear the end of it. After his 2 year old birthday, no diapers, no bottles, no pacifiers. We didn't have to cut the tips, he bit them himself,...so as each one got lost or bitten, we would have him throw it away in the trash can hiself. All the way till the last one was gone ! Nights were difficult just for a few nights....but it was expected. The whole family understood and he his a handsome 4 year old that laughs at his own pics of earlier days. (with paci in his mouth) ;-)

Have him throw it away hiself ! That's the easiest !

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L.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,
When our dentist told my hubby and I that it was time for the pacifier to go, a friend suggested that we take our daughter (who is now 16--where does the time go) to the store and let her "buy" something and pay for it with the pacifier. She really wanted the Little Tykes gas pump even though she didn't have the Coupe Car. It worked out great.
Good luck,
L.

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M.F.

answers from Reno on

with our son we limited them to nap and bed than just to bed time. the day after his second birthday we told him since he was a big boy that it was time to gather all his nuk's up and that he was going to throw them in the trash because he is now a big boy. he will be 3 tomorrow and still talks about how the trash took his nuk's but he has never asked to have one which was a shock because i dont know any other kids that were as attached to their pacifier's as my son. good luck

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L.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Our daughter LOVED her "chupy's" and that is probably an understatement. The doctor told us she could have until she was 3. So right around her third birthday I started slitting the ends with a knife. We had them all (probably about 30 of them) on top of the fridge in a bowl and at nap and bed time I would let her go to the bowl and pick one out. As she went through the bowl some of them were "broken" and she would throw them away in the trash. She would find one that "worked" and use that one for bed time. Then when she was asleep I would slit a few more. This went on for a few days but she was the one who threw them away. This worked for us! Then when all the "chupy's" were gone she got a big girl bed. Good Luck! This will work!

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

The binky fairy visited our house right before my daughter's 3rd birthday. We talked for a few months about the binky fairy, that she comes when big kids turn 3 and gives their binkys to all the new babies in the world. Then one night we couldn't find a binky and she said the binky fairy must have come early because she's a big kid. That was that. Every now and then she'd say she missed it, but she never asked for it. We'd talk about all the lucky babies in the world who got to use her binkys now. Good luck!

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K.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I also am a "older mom" loving it. I also heard about the pacifier fairy. You put them in a box, or a cute decorated bag which he could decorate himself, put it in a tree or front door step if you don't have a tree. And the next day he goes out to where he left the box or bag and there is a gift and card from the fairy thanking him for the pacifiers. This also works with all the halloween candy you don't want him to have. We call it the GREAT PUMPKIN.

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've heard of cutting a part of the nipple off of the paci every few days. Eventually there won't be much of a nipple left, and the little one will lose interest.
- so I've heard.
Good Luck!

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm sure I will catch heck from the other mommies for this, but here goes anyway...

No kid has graduated from high school with a Binky in their mouth. Why go through the hassle and trauma of forcing your child to give up his comfort item?

My son used a Binky at home until he started pre-school. Once he realized other children weren't using them, he lost interest. No kid wants to be thought of a a "baby" or different from the other kids. Your son will give it up when he's ready and when he realizes that other kids don't have pacifiers.

My son's teeth are normal. He's not messed up in the head, or anything like that. The extended use of the Binky does not seem to have affected him negatively. And, to top it off, I didn't go through screaming fits, sleepless nights, or extreme plots to feed the Binkies to animals or cut them into pieces.

You've made the decision that your child should stop using, so this post probably won't affect your decision. Just take it with a grain of salt. :)

Best of luck. :)

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N.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

We poked a big hole in it so it was no longer satisfying. That way, out son gave it up on his own.

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would suggest using the "Paci Fairy" approach. You can do this two ways. 1: tell your son that he is a big boy and when boys get big they send their pacifiers to babies who need them. You take all his pacifiers and tie them to the strings of several balloons. Take him outside and give him the balloons to let go of and say "bye pacifiers". 2: Send him a letter from the "paci fairy" asking him to donate his pacifiers to all the babies who really need them. Address an envelope to the "Paci Fairy" and let him put all his pacifiers in the envelope and in the mail box. This will allow it to be his choice and his doing. Hope it works!!! Good luck!!

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D.M.

answers from San Diego on

You have to go cold turkey - there's no stopping this the easy way. You have to have a talk with him when he's awake and happy, and tell him he's old enough now to give his binky's to the binky fairy. My daughters actually threw them in the trash themselves and I heard of one mom who sent the binky's away on balloons to the binky fairy. One of my daughters cried for a few days, but I didn't give in at all (I couldn't because they were GONE) and eventually she got used to it. You have to stand firm. He'll get over it. Give him another soothing object - both my kids had their blankies. (They still have them and they are a teen and preteen now!)

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F.L.

answers from Reno on

It sounds silly, but my daughter gave her pacifiers to Santa's baby reindeer at the North Pole. We put a letter together telling Santa that all the enclosed binkies were for the baby reindeer, because we heard there was a shortage at the North Pole. We mailed the letter off and my little one told everyone about her sacrifice and she was so proud.

Good luck.

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B.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Take him to a duck pond (with pacifiers in hand) and let him get "up close and personal" with the ducks, if he is not aftraid of them. The ducks will swipe the pacifiers if they are in his hands, and then you can blame the ducks. (Have bread in the other hand). Some children handle this better than YOU took them away from me! You can talk about how they must have known he was a big boy and didn't need them anymore. Then there are those kids,like mine, who will tell you to go to the store and buy another one, and which isle to find it on. You'll get through it. He is 19 now and doesn't use a pacifier. PS. I don't think any harm will come to the ducks. They will spit it our (preferably in a pile of duck poop) as soon as they realize it is not food.

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J.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.! My niece was a little older than your son (by maybe 3 months) when her parents decided to bite the bullet and take away the pacifier. My daughter didn't take one, although there were many nights I wished she had! I don't have personal experience to share, but can tell you what they did.

Anyway, this was a specific situation to them, but if you know anyone having a baby close to you they had told her that she needed to give her pacifiers to baby Jake, which was the newborn baby of a very close friend of the family. Also, at the same time the dentist told her she would need to get rid of it. My niece seemed to be really responsive to other adults telling her she was going to need to stop using it. The dentist gave her a chart and if she went a week without using it, she got a special toy from the dentist. Those two factors seemed to really motivate her & she was successful!

The one thing my sister-in-law said was that it took my niece a much longer time to go to sleep. She would lie awake in her crib/bed for over an hour at times. Not crying, just unable to put herself to sleep. I hope these suggestions or some of the other suggestions you received helped! Best of luck to you :)

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N.B.

answers from Sarasota on

My daughter was only allowed her pacifier at night and naps as well. As she neared 3, I started talking about the pacifier fairy that comes for pacifiers to give it to babies that need it. I also added that the fairy did not just take the pacifier, she left a basket of new toys as a thank you. I talked with her about that for about a month, and then as we neared the time that I knew I would take it, I started saying I bet it may be any day now because the fairy knows when you are ready. One day, my daughter went to school and when she came back, I had a basket of new toys for her sitting on her bed with a note of thank you from the fairy. My daughter was so excited that she helped a baby and received new toys that she didn't care that she didn't have a pacifier. FYI, one of the toys was a new stuft animal that she could hold tight to at night. I felt by waiting until she was a little older, she would get the whole concept more. I also figured since she never had it in public, it wasn't as big of a deal to wait, especially since she would sleep 12 hrs which meant I was sleeping. I have MS and need to get a full nights sleep to make it through the day.

Good luck

N.

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M.Z.

answers from Reno on

With my 2 older children, when it was "lost" (behind bed)it was gone. I would get it and put it away so when they looked for it it wasn't there. They really had tears, but they didn't blame me for taking it either. Another way we did it was if they chewed a hole in it it was gone for good.

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D.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,
I had it pretty easy with both of my children, but I wanted to see if there was some info that I have that might help. I have had friends slowly cut the tips of the rubber sucker part till they were cut down to nothing and there was nothing left to for them to suck on. Also, I saw on Supernanny a child that was giving up the bottle. So the way she had them do this was (but substitute pacifiers), have a talk with your child about how they are getting bigger and that other little babies need to use the pacifiers now. You can make up a story about it and make a cute box that you have your little one put all of the pacifiers in and set it out to have the pacifier fairy or whatever you come up with, mailing it or whatnot. You can have a little letter that is waiting in your mailbox the next day that thanks them for sending all of those pacifiers and that all of the little tiny babies were so happy. It's worth a try! Good luck. I hope I explained it well enough.
~~D.

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K.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Been there done that one year ago when my sweet prince was 2years old. It was easy and hard at the same time. The secret: WE quit cold turkey. I say we because it also help my husband and I "pasify" him when he was acting up. But we did it! And yes, he cried during his nap and at bed time, which is when he used the "binkys". But after 2 days, he was over it. And when he would ask, I would simply say, "Binky's in the trash." From then on, everytime he would throw something in the trash can, he would preface by saying, "Binky in the trash." Good luck.

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K.G.

answers from Las Vegas on

We just went through this last week. Samuel only used them at home for nap and bedtime. There was a little hole in his but he continued to want his binky every night. I would show him his binky and show him that it was broken and that it would be time to say bye bye to the binky. About 3 days of this and I just put it away. At bedtime he would ask for it and I just reminded him that it was broken and that his binky went bye bye. He woke up a few times asking for it the first night and I just reminded him that we said bye bye to binky. He was fine. Now he is binky free and he hasn't even asked for it.

Cold turkey is best to just be done with it. Sometimes I think it's more traumatizing for us anticipating their reaction then actually just doing it.

Good luck! Just know it may take a few days to adjust after that hopefully it's smooth sailing.

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