Found My Half Brother

Wow! I think right now you should really focus on the positive. You found each other! I have been trying for a while to find my half sisters (yes, even on myspace). My parents were never married (they were VERY young), my dad had two more girls with another woman (well, the woman he married) and he passed away when I was 16. I never met him so I really want to meet them. All I would say is never downplay his feelings what he has gone through is his reality, you know? Now you can work on building that sibling relationship.

First, I'm sorry about the loss of your mother. I lost my mom when she was only 38 and I know how hard it is.

As far as your brother, I would go with the flow. He might not be angry with her at all. If he was a baby the last time he saw her he might not even remember her. Maybe he's had a good life with a stepmom or some other woman to take her place.

If he is angry, he does have a right to be. I'm not judging your mom, I don't know all the details of what happened. But in his eyes she wasn't there. If he is angry, I'd just listen and not argue with him. Whatever his feelings are, they are his feelings.

At this point, he probably is curious about her. I would just let him take the lead on what he wants to do with the whole situation. When he's ready he'll let you know. I think it's great that you found each other.

L.

J.

I think the important thing is that you have reconnected with your long lost half brother. If he is angry with her, try to understand his point of view...he never knew her. But that's okay, your other responders are right, he may have had a better life having a stepmother.

But just know, you have a family member, a brother, that may need you now and you can look forward to a wonderful relationship with him.

My condolensces on your loss. May she rest in peace.

Hi J.,

It sounds like you already know how he might feel. Why did you live with your father and not see her again until you were 14? I don't know about you, but nobody would take my baby without a fight. All your brother knows is what his father has told him.

Just be truthful. We're all human. You can't do anything to change whatever he is thinking anyway. Start fresh with him and see if you can build a relationship.

God bless!

M.