Can't Get My Son to Sleep in His Own Bed!

I have a problem with my 3 year old as well but he doesn't like to go to sleep. What i do with my son is I let him fall asleep on the couch while I watch t.v. and then when he is out cold I just take him and put him into bed. If he is real tired he stays there all night and if not he will wake up in the midddle of the night and hop in my bed. I have tried other things, but it never worked so that is the best thing that works for me. Hope it works and good luck

I have a five year old and am experiencing the same problem. We bought her a new mattress, a big girl bed, everything we can think of and the only thing I can tell you is that it is not easy! I believe the the technique the Super Nanny uses is the way to go, I have been implementing it and it will take a few sleepless nights but it has to be done and you have to stick to your guns. You are supposed to put them in there bed, wait in there room until they fall asleep and then go about your business, when they get out of bed the first time, you have to talk to them and walk them back to their bed telling them they have to sleep in their bed, when they get out of bed again, you are not supposed to make eye contact, you just walk them to their bed and put them in as many times as it takes and believe me it could be 10, this has worked for us for the most part but now we are experiencing a relapse because she was sick and we felt sorry for her, so here we go again. I also printed out a bed time reward calendar from the Chuckee Cheese website which says if they go to bed and sleep like a good kid they will receive 10 free tokens after 2 weeks of complying, I started using stickers and let her put them on each night she stayed in her bed, I won't lie, I am exhausted and am trying to be firm as I work full time and my husband could sleep through a train wreck so there is no help there but I want my bed back, I want to have alone time with my husband as you know it as limited as it is with working and taking care of a family not to mention that my back is killing me! The last straw was when a co-worker told me to get on the ball because they didn't put her foot down and her daughter slept with them until she was 10 - yikesss!!!Anyway, good luck.

K.-

We had the same problem with my son (he's 3) We had to lay down with him in his bed EVERY NIGHT! Finally we said this is horrible! So we put him in his own bed and told him he has to sleep in his room ALONE! He cried for almost 2 hours. It was horrible I'm not going to lie to you. He even got out of bed sometimes and came in our room begging us to come in there but we stayed firm with him and explained to him that he is a big boy and has to sleep in his own room alone. The first night he did it with problems. But he did it and every night after it got a bit easier. We told him that if he tried really hard we would give him a suprise and the next day we took him to buy a new "big boy bike" Now, I'm happy to say that he goes to bed alone- Yes, there is still some drama and many trips to the potty- He even says, "I dont want my big boy bike anymore" but he knows that he has to sleep by himself- I felt really bad letting him cry for sometimes 2 hours but I kept telling myself that this was for his own good and mine and my husbands. You just have to be strong and don't give in! Before you know it he will get used to the fact.

Good luck to you-

I have this same problem with my 3 1/2 year old granddaughter who is living with me. I had attempted the sticker chart, rewarding her for every 3 successful nights. But over the past few weeks, we've been focusing only on the bedtime routine, and her actually GOING to bed on her own rather than spending the whole night in her room, and rewarding her with stickers and now a 5-day reward. One of MY rewards is that most nights now, she does stay in her room. In 3 weeks, without actually looking at the chart, we've probably had an average of 5 successful nights each week. That's a big accomplishment. I don't even emphasize the all-nighter anymore, just the bedtime part, and the rest is coming along well. And I try to be lenient - she's not feeling well right now, so I give her choices. We'll get back on track when she feels better. I'd rather have her comfortable and getting well than have both of us upset and sleepless in the middle of the night.

After reading some of the other responses, let me add that the "research" that I've done on sleep training says that when a child awakens in the middle of the night, and it's not "the same" as when he went to sleep, that can cause some uneasiness, which can cause the visits to the parents' room. So, if the child is put to bed in his own room before he's asleep, and is told that you will check on him in 5 minutes (follow thru with that), then when he awakens in the middle of the night, because he fell asleep on his own and finds that he's alone, it's no different than when he went to sleep, and then he (eventually) won't have any problems going back to sleep. Just keep in mind that it's called "sleep training" for a reason, and it's training both parent and child. Consistency is most important, and it may take a bit of time before every night is successful. Bedtime routine is an important part of sleep training as well.

I'm so glad, though, to know that we aren't the only family going thru this!!!! Best of luck to all of us!!!!

I had the same problem with my 2 1/2 year old. I, too, bought him a very expensive bed that is very neat. He still insisted on sleeping in moms room. Night after night. Finally I took the tv out of my room and put in my sons room and suddenly his room was now the fun room. I let him watch his cartoons for 10 minutes after we read books and leave his light on all night and he sleeps through the night in his fun room. I am not a big tv person and don't believe kids should be sat in front of the tv but 10 minutes a night winding down can't hurt.
I asked him the other night if he wanted to sleep in moms room and he said "no mom, me big boy, want to sleep in the fun room".

Good luck to you

I don't have any advice for you but I am in the same predictament as you are with my daugther who will be 3 next month. She refuses to go to sleep in her bedroom. Usually we have to let her fall asleep in our room and then carry into her room and put her into bed. But the problem is that she wakes up between 3-4am and comes in to our bedroom. My husband and I both work full-time and she goes to pre-school/daycare so I can't really fight with her at that time because we all need our sleep. I'm at a loss. If you find a solution...PLEASE SHARE!
Also, I see that you have a home based business. I'm trying to find something that I can do that will allow me to stay at home with my daughter. Do you have any suggestions?

Hi K.,

I honestly don't have any advice for you but I'm having the same problem!! My son will be 4 in October and I cannot for the life of me get him to sleep in his own bed. I've tried everything. So if you find a way that works would you please share it with me? My husband and I only have a queen size bed as well and my husband works opposite hours from me most of the time so really the only time we get to spend with eachother is in bed and when out son is there it's hard to have quality time.

Keep me posted!!

Good luck and take care,

N.

This is a huge issue for us too, and we're trying something new, at my mother's suggestion. Our son is now allowed to sleep in our room, but on the floor in a sleeping bag. Last night was the first night we tried it, and believe it or not he still woke once asking to get into bed with us, but I shooed him back to the floor and he slept great. We slept great in the bed with fewer wakings and no kicking! The hope is that at some point he'll get sick of the floor and want to get back in the bed, and HIS bed will be the only option so back he'll go.

Do you have room to put your son's "big boy" bed into your room to help with the transition? Maybe he's jealous of his sibling and needs a little more time with Mom & Dad. Just a thought...
-Karen C.

i don't have this problem (yet), but some of solutions i've heard were to put him back to his crib, putting a gate on his door so that he can be awake, but he can't leave his room, or having a reward system.
i hope something works!

Several months ago we had the same problem. We were given a Firetruck bed and my son would not sleep in it. So we picked out a Full size bed for him (our crib turned into a full size headboard and footboard). He loved going to the store and picking out a bed for himself. We had absolutely no problems since then.

Do you still have his crib set up in his room? If so that could be a part of the problem.

I am also asking help from anyone who can offer it regarding this situation. My probelm is a little worse, I have a 2 year old son and a 11 month old duaghter who only want to sleep in my bed. My husband had to move to the guest bedroom because we were so squashed in our queen sized bed. We bought him his firetruck bed about 9 months ago and he will only sleep in it after he has fallen asleep on my shoulder and I put him there. I wake up tired and in discomfort from being in the middle of my two kids. So not sure what to do.
Good luck with your situation.

I am not going through this but have an idea. Since he enjoys sleeping with you two so much why not use it as a reward? You could make him a chart and say if he sleeps in his bed for two nights the third night he can sleep with you and then you could continue to up the number of nights he must sleep in his bed to earn sleeping in your bed. Eventually he will get over sleeping in your bed or it will be only once in awhile. I know some don't like the idea of charts, behavior systems etc but it seems better then him getting completely distressed about the issue. Of course it may not work but some kids thrive off of visuals and rewards. Just an idea....good luck!

Hello, I'm sorry that you are so tired and frustrated; this mom-job of ours is hard enough without being dead tired.

The ability to fall asleep and sleep well all night is a gift for life! Falling asleep in front of the tv or somewhere else or moving around in the night just can't be restful. You know for a fact that it is not!

We were given a book at my baby-shower that is worth it's weight in gold; we have read it and re-read it a million times to help with our three children [4, 3 and 1]. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I'll warn you, it's hard core and advises you to start when they are newborns, but after you read it you will have some tips and advice and great information about the importance of a good nights sleep that will keep you determined and on task. And maybe it can help you with your little guy so he can learn good sleep habits from the start.

Our kids still have trouble sometimes [and let's not even discuss daylight-savings time!] but we are gentle and firm and walk them back to their own beds when they come in for a midddle-of-the-night cuddle.

Good luck ... you can do this!
ps. Try letting your son pick out a new pillow case and nightlight! [WAY cheaper than the firetruck beds!]