Breaking Pacifier Habit

Updated on June 19, 2008
A.B. asks from Argyle, TX
50 answers

I'm am at a complete loss as to how to break my child of his pacifier. He is 22 months old!! I've tried to give him other things to get attached too and he wants nothing to do with them. He only uses his "binky" at night and for his nap. He knows they are sleeping time only. Part of the problem is that he has one in his mouth and then one in each hand! OMG. I cut the tips off 2 of them and was thinking this evening at bedtime I would only give him those 2 and see what happens. Anyone tried this? Any other suggestions? And how long is the screaming at night going to last. This is completely MY fault for letting it last this long but I think the pacifier is definitely interfering with his teeth. Please help!

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So What Happened?

Well giving him the 2 with the tips cut off did NOT work. He screamed so hard he was choking and i caved. I gave him a regular one to go to sleep. :( I do feel better about it after reading the responses I got. I plan on setting up a dental appointment soon and am eager to hear what the dentist will say. I love the idea of giving the paci's to needy babies but he is too young now to understand that logic. I guess we will wait. Thanks again!

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Tell him you are giving the pacifiers to other children that need them. Then toss them in the TRASH! Do not give into him. The screaming will subside as long as you do not run to him. If he is clean, fed, out of harm's way... he'll do fine. Good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

Do like supernanny does... take them outside with him and tie them to a tree and say the paci fairy is going to come and take them away to little babies that need them. Then go out the next day and see what the paci fairy left in its place... a big boy toy!!!

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

My son was about the same age when we decided to take his paci away. All we did is have him throw it (all of them, if you have a lot) in the trash. He knew the trash was yucky so when he would ask for it we would just remind him that he threw them away. I hope you find something that works as easily as this did for us! Good Luck!
K.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

The amazing thing about "breaking habits" for kids is that the anxiety is typically owned by us and not them. With my oldest child I swore before he was born that we were NOT using a pacifier...yeah...everyone got a big laugh at me when I was at home crying on day 3 because all he wanted to do was nurse for hours at a time! I was a human pacifier - thus a midnight trip to the drug store to buy STOCK in pacifiers. I think that every picture of him from day 3 to 15 months he has his pacifier in...he never parted ways with his paci! At 15 months I told my husband that we needed to wean him off of the paci...to which my husband replied "Wait until I go out of town." And so I did! I had so much anxiety about taking away his paci that I felt like I was going to throw up the whole day...I gathered up all the paci's the night before and threw them in the trash so that I wouldn't give in. I took his paci in the morning and threw it in the dumpster and gone were the paci's. I was so nervous about nap and bedtime, but to my surprise he did fine. There were a few whimpers during nap, but after that...nothing. The kid could have cared less that we took his paci away! I was an emotional wreck anticipating the long term psychological effects that were sure to take place once I took away his beloved paci and for nothing! About a week later we went to a birthday party and panic set in - what do I see the second that we walk in the house - a child with the EXACT same brand of pacifier as my child! YIKES - I thought for sure NOW was when we would have our paci melt down! The liitle boy at one point during the party dropped his paci and my son walked over to pick it up - I was having a mini heart attack - only to watch my child hand the paci back to the little boy who dropped it! My jaw dropped and I was in shock! It was about that time that I realized that I was the one who thought he needed his paci - not him! Quit cold turkey - take it away and I promise the anxiety is almost always ours! Good luck and be strong!

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I'm going to be the odd man out here, but I am the mother of 10 children, foster mom to more than 50 over the years, and I never took a child's lovey away from them. I've had pacifier babies, blanket babies,thumb babies, finger babies, and I just let them have it. It never fails that the child eventually gives it up on their own, with no pain or trouble. I had one daughter who sucked her thumb until she was seven. She gave it up little by little. Another boy who sucked a pacifier until he was around three, nonstop. His teeth were curved in a circle, but when he gave the pacifier up, they straightened by out. He's 14 now, and has perfectly straight teeth. Right now, I have a daughter who sucks her finger and holds a blankey, she's four, and a son who sleeps with a blankey. I wouldn't dream of taking them away.
Your son is not even two yet! Give him his pacifier and all of you sleep!

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P.M.

answers from Dallas on

My dentist told me that as long as the binky habit is stopped by around 3 years old that the teeth will move back into place.

My personal opinion is kids should have what gives them comfort and I am confused why everyone always wants to take a child's comfort away from them. If your son is using his bink to soothe himself to sleep then good for him, he will give it up when he's ready and that will be soon enough.

I was a thumb sucker until I was about 5 and my parents used to put horrible things on my thumb to make me stop. Needless to say, nothing worked. But, I have beautiful straight teeth and never needed braces.

I hope this helps you see it from your son's point of view.

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

At this age, if he is only using it a bed time and nap, whats the hurt???? If a child had one in their mouth non stop that is a different story. I don't think just at bed time it is hurting . I know of one person that sucked their thumb, didn't realize it, but it didn't effect their teeth, and the family could pull the thumb out of the mouth, and when asleep it would go right back in, as they didn't even know they were doing it, and they were much older than your child, so as far as teeth I wouldn't worry, and since it is only sleep time, I see no harm.

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J.G.

answers from Amarillo on

My little boy was nearly three so don't worry so much! My dentist said as long as we got rid of it by his 3rd b-day. You have to just make up your mind to do it and don't look back. Mine was also just using his at night at the end. We had the paci fairy come. We asked him what toy he REALLY wanted more than anything. In his case it was a big John Deere combine! So we explained the paci fairy would come get his pacis for babies who didn't have any and bring him a toy in their place. Right before naptime he helped me gather up his remaining four pacis and we put them in a little bag. We then took them outside and hung them in the tree. He was soo excited! He got up from nap and rushed to look out the window and saw the paci fairy had left a package! A John Deere combine! Imagine that!! He was so busy palying with the combine all day he didn't even ask about paci. The first night was a little rough,some crying for his paci. But HONESTLY,after that it was no big deal. Thanks, Super Nanny!!! Good luck and just stick to it once you decide its time to get rid of it.

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 3 yr old that I nursed until she was 16 months old and I broke her of nursing and pacifers all in about 2 days. I was worn out and said to myself "it's time to stop." A., you have to have strong will, stronger than your childs but it's worth it. I went to bed and rubbed my nipples with lemon wedges so when my daughter went to nurse she was like "wow, that's yucky" and I did the same to her paci's. She adjusted to a sippy cup with in 2 days. However, for those children like my son who liked lemons I dabbed a drop of Sally Hanson's "NO Bite" nail polish on all his paci's. What it is is a nail polish you put on your nails and it has a bad bitter taste to it so it helps you stop biting your nails. When my son put a paci in his mouth that had that bitter taste at 3 yrs old he told me "Mommy we need to throw these away they all turned bad" and we did. He even helped me throw them away and we have never looked back. Good luck. hope it works for you.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

First of all, please do not beat yourself up. What do you mean "this is completely MY fault"? It sounds like you are a caring mother who is trying to do the best thing for her son.

IMO, it is not a big deal for a 22-month old to be using a pacifier at naptime and bedtime. It doesn't sound like you're using it as a plug all day or avoiding giving him attention or anything. Again, do not beat yourself up for this.

My son would also sleep with one binky in his mouth and one in each hand and click them to go to sleep. I really enjoyed the fact that he would go to sleep with something so simple and enjoyed my nights. I put binkies all over his bed so he could find one when he needed it.

When he was 4, he went to the dentist for a check-up and was told to stop the pacifier and shown why. At that time, he was old enough to understand and was willing to try to give up the binky. He had a hard time going to sleep without it, though, so we tried all kinds of substitute loveys. The strangest one ended up working for us -- a flashlight. He could shine it around and use it to settle in. He moved to a wind-up flashlight (saves batteries) and now he is 7 and reads books in bed with a small lamp.

If you really feel the need to get rid of the binky (and only because YOU see the need, not as a "should" from the parenting police), there are some great suggestions. My MIL put her kids' binkies in the freezer for safe keeping and they eventually just forgot about them. Some have cut them shorter and shorter every few days. A friend had her child mail hers to "the babies" (wonder what the PO though of that?). Some have planted them in the backyard to grow a pacifier tree. Most of these tactics work best with a slightly older child.

Take care of that little one and yourself.

D.

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

We'll, we just went through this 1 week ago! My girl is almost 3yrs old! I never intended her to have her paci that long, but since it was at night and naps only, I just kept not taking it away. She isn't a great sleeper and I needed anything possible to keep her asleep! I was terrified of taking it away. I invisioned weeks of sleepless nights and lots of crying.

I'm not sure if this will work for your 22 month old or not since mine was almost 3. I told her for weeks on end that Baby (a baby's name you might know) needed some pacifiers. She was a big girl now and not a baby anymore. Baby so and so needed some paci's. We talked about it everyday. Then one day, the baby came to her house for playdate with his older sibling and she went and got her paci's and gave them to the baby! She did this on her own! At nap time, she asked for her paci and we reminded her she gave it to the baby. She cried and cried. She was so upset. My girl never cries so this was tearing me up. She conitnued to cry for about 1 hour. This was her longest and most severe cry ever in her little life. Anytime she calmed down, I explained that babies need them, they have no teeth. She has teeth and the paci's will hurt them. I explained that Mommy had a paci and Daddy did too, but we grew bigger and didn't use them anymore. She finally fell asleep and after her nap when she woke up, I praised her for sleeping without it! Then I gave her a reward for sleeping without it. I figured I was in for this nightly for who knew how long.....but....that night, she asked for her blankie and stuffed animal and she didn't even mention the paci! Did talk about it, didn't mention it. Nothing. I was shocked. I'm still schocked. It is just out if her mind now.

So what I was dreading so much, ended up being the easiest thing we've done so far! I can only hope that your experience will be so easy. Good luck.

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V.S.

answers from Dallas on

I wouldn't stress over the pacifier habit. I really wouldn't. Just let him have them. He has them at appropriate times so he is already limiting their use. My nephew (who lives next door to me) was incredibly pacifier oriented. He had one in each pocket, one in each hand and sometimes two in his mouth. His mother just let it go, and he dropped the habit when he was three. And he wasn't limiting it to just nap/night times. Your son is taking comfort in the pacifier...let him be comforted! Seriously, you will look back on this day and wonder what the big deal was and why it was so important to you to take it away. All three of my sons let the pacifier go after they got big colds that clogged their noses. Yours will leave it behind soon enough. In the meantime, make sure you get a pic of him sleeping with one in his mouth and two in his hands. He'll get a kick out of it later.
V.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

I got rid of all of our passy's excpet for 1, so she new that one was ll that was left and I made it the small newborn kind. Then I very slowly cut the tip, when I knew we were about to the point that it wouldn't stay in her mouth any longerm I wait ed a few wks before making the fatal cut on the passy. She kept telling me it was broke, anI just acted like it was no big deal and told her to hold it in her hand. She held in in her hand for a while and after a few wks she forgot about it. She was 2 when I got rid of it and VERY attached. We never shed a tear over it. Good luck!

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T.K.

answers from Abilene on

1. it is NOT doing anything to his teething!!
2. if it is just at bedtime, why is it such a worry to you?
3. who put the time limit on the pacci thing, you, the pedi, your mom, your friends?
I am amazed at the amount of moms out there who think that there is a time limit on childhood, let him be a baby, as long as he can be, because one day you are going to turn around, and boom, he is six foot and walking down the aisle for highschool graduation! He only wants it because you don't want him to have it, when you stop wigging out, it will be a case of letting go, and I would definately see a pediatric dentist if you think he is having a hard time teething there are certain conditions out there that some children will never get teeth, and others will just one day boom, have a mouth full, overnight! Relax mama, he is only 22 MONTHS, not YEARS!

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

I hear ya girl! My son will be 3 in July and just 1 month ago we got him off the binky. Because your son is just 22 months old, not sure how this will work for him, but we just started telling him that he was a "big Boy" and that big boys don't use binky's. We got him to agree to this statement over and over for about a week. Then, we told him what all big boys do: Give all their binkys to the "babies". So, one day he handed over his binky and "gave his binky to the babies. He asked for it a couple of times since then, but we just reminded him of his gift to the babies and he was OK with that. Hope this helps, but you're on the right track! We let it go way too long too.

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T.L.

answers from Dallas on

He will stop when he is ready. My son was a thumb sucker, & at the age of 2 started crawling under the bed & tearing off pieces of the stuffing from the mattress (box spring). He would suck his thumb & rub the cotton on his upper lip, he did this until he was 5 1/2. We had a 30 gallon trash bag full of cotton stuffing from a bed, this was his comfort. When he started head start, he took his cotton with him & they allowed him to only have it at nap time, he kept it in his pocket & pulled it out at nap time. I knew the more I pushed, the more he hung on to the thumb & cotton. Then one day when he was almost 6, he said, " Mama, I dont suck my thumb no more". Donavon has great teeth, & he has went to the dentist every 6 months since turning a year, & he is now 8 1/2. In fact a couple of months ago, he found a piece of cotton from the bed, & said look mama, & starting rubbing it on his lips (he was joking).I am glad that it gave him comfort & he is a very independent child, & self assured. I really believe that alot of times we take things from our children because we worry about what other people think. I truly believe that the pacifier is his comfort when he goes to sleep, especially since it is only when he is going to sleep. I say relax & dont fight it, he will stop on his own. GOD Bless, T.

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L.V.

answers from Dallas on

I am so late on the post lol but I read some of them and i didnt see any where u can take the pacifier to like build a bear and have them put it inside the bear or just but like one of those where u stuff it urself from walmart but i also agree with the lady who said that children just grow out of it, i believe that too but then again i can understand why u are frustated my daughter is 11 months and still needs a bottle at night and wont sleep thru the night =( and i live with my mom so she gets mad if i try the "cry til they fall asleep" method. Good Luck.

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T.N.

answers from Dallas on

My kids had their pacies until they were 3 and 4. It was also only during bedtime and nap time. They had to leave them in the bed when they got up. Our physicians weren't concerned about their teeth at this age and now that they are 9 and 13 there were no problems with their teeth associated with the pacie.
When my oldest was 4 we told him that if he gave up all of his pacies, he could go to Toys R Us and pick out any one thing he wanted. Luckily this only cost us about $20.00.
He was just a little sad that first night, but it worked like a charm.
When my youngest was 3 I told him that the baby angels in heaven were out of pacies and really need more. I suggested he leave all his pacies on his dresser so that they could come and get them while he was sleeping. Again, this worked awesome. He missed them briefly, but really it was a non-event. Good Luck, T.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

When my daughter was around that same age we went on vacation for a week. We only took one pacifier with us and when it was lost she had to live without it. We kept her so busy throughout the day that she was exhausted at bedtime. We cemented a new bedtime routine at the same time. By the end of the week she was so used to going to bed without the pacifier that when we got home she barely cared that it wasn't available.

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

Cold turkey is the way to go! I weaned my daughter from the paci at 24 months, she is now 33 months. I had read somewhere that it only takes 3 days to break a habit. So, I gave it 3 days. We were already at the point you are with usage in that it was only used for sleeping times. When I decided it was "time", I put her to bed one night without it. There was only a little bit of screaming, but she eventually fell asleep. I did this consistantly for 3 straight days & each time it became easier with less crying & wimpering. I also ignored her requests for the paci at sleep times. By the 4th day, she didn't ask for it or cry. Some people may criticize me for doing it so harshly, but I also believe in letting her cry herself to sleep. If you can tolerate him getting so upset & don't give in, the 3 day method WILL work. Regarding it affecting his teeth, it can cause a crossbite or a resticted upper arch, but once the habit is broken, both will correct themselves. I have worked in pediatric dentistry for almost 18 years & have seen both professionally & personally how stopping a sucking habit early can reduce problems in the future with a child's teeth. My daughter had a cross bite when using the paci, but it has corrected itself now that she no longer uses it. Good luck!!

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

I've seen other families collect all the pacifiers and A) give them away to a baby B) mail them to the pacifier fairy to give to babies who need them... either way, make a BIG deal about your child not being a baby anymore...then reward your child with something new like an extra bedtime story or a new blanket or "lovie" just for big kids.

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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

We got rid our daughter's pacifier when she was a little over 3 years old. It was a lifesaver when she had to have her tonsils out at 2.5 years.

She called her pacifier a mimi. We told her about the mimi fairy. The mimi fairy will come and take the pacifier away and give it to babies that need them and leaves a big girl present behind. The mimi fairy is friends with the tooth fairy. We proceeded to march around the house having a farewell to our mimi parade. She then deposited her mimi in the trashcan by herself. The mimi fairy made an appearance and left a gift card for Toys R Us so our daughter could get a big girl toy.

She is going on six and just lost her first tooth. She asked for her pacifier once and we told her that the mimi fairy had given it to a baby who needed it.

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K.L.

answers from Dallas on

My 1st born daughter who is almost 6 now loved her pacifier. But, there does come a time when you have to be a parent and just do what you have to do. As my daughter approached turning 2, we basically said that her pacifier was lost. We looked around the house together and searched. Yes, the nights were a trouble at first. But, like weaning her off the bottle..it is an adjustment. It's not a big deal, just be consistent. I always praised her in being a "big" girl and then eventually she found soothing methods with her blanket or stuffed animal. You can do it, I think it is harder for us sometimes than it is really for our kids. Hang in there and don't give up. Take care.

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E.V.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.

I'm E. and mother of two daughters. Now almoust 8 and 5.
Don't worry about your son. He is just almoust 2.
Let him his binkys. We had absolute the same. With both girls.
If you have dentist form pacifiers its fine.
They need this help in this age. Give him time.
The thing with one in the mouth and one in the hand is 'maybe' just to make sure, that the binky, what is a good friend, stay with him. My girls did the same.
I saw a lot mothers with the same worriest like you, and they made pressure on the little kid, and put the binkys away.
After a lot of sreaming the put the thumb as a alternative in the mouth. And this is something what is not more easy to put it away.
What I did is, with every month they get older and their development goes further, you can see, you can talk to them more. So I put the binky for the awake times away, had them with me on car trips and for sleeping.
This works slowly. After my girls turned 3 and was more listening to storys I read them a book (German books, Im german) from pacifieres and taking away. Even a first visit at a nice childrens dentist is helpful.
The best was, I told my oldest one, she is born in July, after her 3rd birthday every day a little bit about upcoming christmas, and if she want to give her binky away, Santa will have a extra surprise for her. She gave all, except one, away, what I thought was a great job. The last one was holded 2 month, and suddenly she throw him in the trushcan. There was 3 days of missing, but she knew by herself, that was her dicision.
For the little one it took me a little bit longer, she was around 4 at the time, that she was accepting that the easter bunny needs all her binkys for his babies. I told her Mrs easter bunny got a lot of babies, and they need help with pacifiers. She even put all her bib's together, of course a big girl what doesn't needs any binky more, doesn't need any bibs.
So she put it all together by herself the night before easter, and took it at the garden outdoor. At the next morning she found a big egg (it was her wish to get a big egg from the easter bunny) and a letter from the bunny, who told her, how thankful his family is and how helpful all her binkys. She was so proud.
Of course there was some days missing, it's a kind of dolefulness, but we have to understand, they are missing a consoling 'friend'.
What I will say, give your little one more time with his 'special friend' and the time comes by self, with your imagination you can help him in 1-2 years to let the binkys go.
My girls never took the thumb after this.
A pacifier is not so bad for the jaw then the thumb.
Take it easy and don't worry.
Joy the "baby-toddler" time with your son.
Blessings E.

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A., we are going through this right now with our almost 33 month old son. We have used a couple of techniques and they are finally starting to work. He is going through a phase where he thinks its nasty if his baby brothers (18 month old twins) get a hold of his paci and drool on it. He won't even drink out of the same cup or eat off the same plate as them because he says " babies drooling, nasty!" So when he asks for his paci at night I tell him it's in the dishwasher because the babies drooled on it and it's nasty. So far that's worked for the past 3 nights. Another idea, is you can use giving up the paci as an incentive for something else he wants...like if he wants a new toy or to watch a certain program you can tell him that if he wants a new toy he has to pay for it with the paci....just a thought...good luck!!!!

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G.H.

answers from Dallas on

surgery always did the trick for my kids! :) my daughter had her tonsils and adenoids out at 18 months, stopped the BIBI cold turkey <pain!> my son had reflux surgery at 11 months and stopped cold turkey as well <pain!>

wishing you luck! thankfully i never had to have the BIBI battle!

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

One thing you might try is letting him only have the one in his mouth for a week or two. No holding binky's too. Once he is used to that, you could take the one in his mouth. In the meantime, I would try to have him hold something else like a silky blanket or a favorite toy. We got some nice ones at Target.
My twins are 2 1/2 and recently we decided to end the "poppy" habit after our first trip to the dentist. I told them that their baby cousin needed them and we were going to give them to her. For a few days they cried for a 5-10 minutes each time they went to bed.
You have to make up YOUR mind that you are ready and DON'T give in.
Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Dallas on

We did the cutting the tip off thing. He said "Mommy, my suck suck is broken!" and put it right back in his mouth. Then we did the at night only, no naptime.

What worked for him was talking about a friend's baby needing a pacifer. We talked about it a couple of times. Then I was mentioning it to baby's parents (with my son there) and he went running into the house to get it for his Baby Taylor. He gave that pacifer to her daddy and we never looked back! He asked for it a couple of times but never needed it again! Oh, he was 2 1/2 when he gave it up completely. I liked that it was his choice, I think that was easier in the long run.

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E.W.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter was the same way. When she turned 2 we started slowly cutting the tips off, a little every other night. But we never mentioned to her that we were cutting them or that they were broken, she just figured it out. Eventually she just would hold on to the papi (as she called it)not putting it in her mouth anymore. One day I just threw them out, after about 2 weeks of them being cut. She did not see me do it, but she never asked about them. I guess she didn't care anymore since all the papi's were broken. It has been 3 months now and we are completely papi free! Yeah! Good luck, it worked out to be a lot easier than I thought so do not stress it.

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

I cut the ends off also and when she couldn't keep it in her mouth anymore I told her it was broken and maybe she should throw it away...she did..( I fished it out to save )It does work...It's been 19 years now so I can't tell you how long it would take but it does work and she was very addicted to it. Just keep trimming it off little by little...

Good luck!
L.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have any advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My just-turned-four year old still has one at night, too. His teeth look ok and the dentist said they are fine, so I'm going to skip the battle for now. Good luck to you!

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D.D.

answers from Dallas on

Well A., I shared your pain. I weaned my son off of the bottle and passey (as we called it) at the same time when he was one. He found a pacifier in one of his bags and latched on to it again. It wasn't until he was three going on four before he got rid of it. Our motivation was school...I told him that only big boys went to school and big boys do not suck pacifiers. He is 12 now and will be in braces for the next two years because of the huge overbite he has. Additionally he sucked the pacifier so hard that it caused a ring around his mouth in the form of a rash. Today, this ring/rash returns every year during the winter months. Have you tried some type of award if he gives you the pacifier?

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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

A pacifier will not interfere with your son's teeth. My youngest daughter was over 2 before she gave up her's, yet by the time she was 8 months old she have 6 teeth. We thought we had all her "suckies" gone and she could always produce one. She wouls walk around with a bottle in her mouth and suckie in her hand or vice-versa. If you try not to make a big deal out of it he will quit on his own,

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H.B.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't read all the reponses, but I thought this method worked so I would share it. My mother in law put a bandaid on the binky and said it had an owie and put it up on the shelf...after a couple of days they threw it away, but I think the child was a little older than 22 months and could understand...at least yours is a binky. I can't for the life of me get my 2 1/2 year old to stop eating his arms. He leaves hickies and sores on his arms. I have wrapped them with bandages and placed socks on his arms. He has the BIGGEST fit and is out of control.

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E.M.

answers from Dallas on

I just went through this with my daughter. I cut 2 pieces off the sides of the tip to make it pointy and gave it to her. She didn't like how it felt in her mouth so she asked me to fix it. I told her no more binkies. I showed her that I put them inside of a bunny we had gotten her a while back and she didn't really cry for them. She asked a few times and we told her the bunny ate them and they are all gone. It's been surprisingly well seeing as my 9 month old still uses them and she hasn't touched his.

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

Better break it, my sister had a boyfriend who used a pacifier, she ran from him.If you send him to day care and he notices that no one else does this that might embarrase him.Also tell him that his teeth will be burged out.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

We left all ours out on the front porch for baby reindeer at Christmas. WE were blame free, he hates reindeer now but oh well. It was horrible the first few nights but we sucked it up and he eventually got to sleep quicker and quicker each night without. Got to bite the bullet I guess. I also thought about letting them fly away on the end of a balloon that HE releases. Either way I think if it is his doing then he will put the realization that they are in fact gone, he saw them go, and time will allow him to forget how much he needed them. Mine also slept with two blankets so he did have back up security. We did this a few months before he turned three. He was only allowed them IN BED before that. Good luck, its not fun but has to be done.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

A.,

I am also in the minority. I believe in allowing a child to have their soothing methods. They eventually put them down themselves and this can be very empowering for the child to overcome their own external addictions. And there is always a risk the child will find a replacement habit. A thumb is an obvious replacement habit. However, many parents may not even realize that the child has found a replacement coping habit - like snack overeating - that gives them the same oral gratification as the pacifier.

Parents and doctors are often very judgmental about the habit. It makes little sense, since most adults have their own "paci" habits - cigarettes, alcohol, nailbiting, sugar, junk food, caffeine, illegal drugs, prescription drugs, over-the-counter drugs, tooth grinding, etc. They are all anxiety coping mechanisms.

Our daughter did the same thing - a paci in her mouth and one in each hand. This started because we followed the "expert" advice and put multiple paci's in her crib so she could find it at night. It was very hard to let the habit continue. She eventually gave it up at 4 1/2 and we threw her a little celebration "coming of age" party. She was very proud and told everyone how good she felt that she put it down on her own and NOBODY took it from her. I didn't realize how important this was to her until I heard her announce it, beaming with pride, to other people.

You have to do what you feel is best. Follow your instincts.

Good luck.

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N.H.

answers from Dallas on

In my opinion he will get rid of it before college. I have one who used it for bed time and nap time till he was 5. It was only used at that time from the time he was 2 1/2. When he was five we decided that it was time to cut the tips off because they were getting old a yucky. He would only take one special one. He still sleep with the plastic piece of the passie and he is 9. It is getting less and less that he needs it but there are other more important thing to work on.

I was glad that it was not his finger or thumb you cant get rid of those. He is very smart and intelligent and his teeth are fine. And bed time is great. I know you have already cut the tips off so you might offer him the backs and see if that will work for him. It was a life saver for us. Good Luck.

Working mom of twins.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,
Yes, I had the same problem with my son and daughter when they each turned two.
I had already weaned it down to a bedtime thing, and then I cut the tops off. It was only a problem for two nights. They were frustrated with the "broken" pacifier, but then it was ok. I was glad I did it.
Having it too long will definitely cause oral/dental problems. I found this solution to be a very good one for us.
LeAnn

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N.M.

answers from Dallas on

My son used his paci only for naps and sleeping until he was 3. His doctor said it would only interfere with his teeth if he still used it when he had permanent teeth, so I wasn't worried about that part, but I felt like he needed to give it up anyway. (We probably would have tried sooner, but I had a second baby when he was 2 1/2, and I didn't want to take away his safety item at the time!) About 3 weeks before his third birthday, we started telling him that the paci fairy was going to come to pick up his paci on his birthday and leave a special treat. We reminded him each night leading up to his birthday, and the night of his b-day, we told him to leave his paci on his dresser. After he fell asleep we left a small toy he'd seen and wanted a few months earlier, and the "paci fairy" took his paci to give to a new little baby. He only asked for it a couple of times after that, and when we said, "The paci fairy took it to give to a another baby because you're a big boy now, remember?" he didn't question it. Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Abilene on

I see nothing wrong with a child his age having a pacifier. My daughter just turned two and I still let her have hers. All the parents I know and have talked to, let don't start taking paci away until 3 or almost 3. As for his teeth, are the pacifiers NUK the are designed so not to affect teeth. If they are not try that brand and maybe he would use those instead.

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G.A.

answers from Dallas on

My friend had two children one was three and the other 2. The three year old was the problem one. The 2 yr old could care less but the sister kept putting a passy in the 2's mouth. So one day suggested by the doctor. She set a date and told them when it was like Halloween night was are going to cut up our passy. She did and that was the end of that.Then the 3 yr old started sucking on her tongue. Can't take that away. She tried to suck on the stub then gave it to me and said throw this away. Last of passy. End of story but if it is affecting the teeth I would listen to the crying and just step outside until it is done. My cousin sucked on his fist and had the most deformed mouth. His gums were a mess. G. W

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T.L.

answers from Dallas on

I had one of my children throw the pacifier away himself and explained to him that it was time for him to be a big boy. I told them that only babies had pacifiers.

It wasn't easy at first with one of my children b/c he was extremely attached to it. I just gradually took it away. I gave it to him later and later in the evening until he no longer needed it at night.

I suggest taking it from nap time first, then work on nighttime.

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B.T.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
First you need to know that sucking on a pacifier or a thumb will not damage a child's teeth. That is an old wives tale!! My pediatric dentist told that if my son needs braces it will be because his dad had braces and not because he sucks on his fingers. He sucked his fingers at night till he was 5 years old. Once he started school he gave it up. He is now 18 and never needed braces. His teeth are just fine.
Sucking is a very comforting thing to a child. Why parents are set on breaking them of it is beyond me!The more you frustrate him the more he will need comfort and the more he will want his binky. Give him and yourself a break and stop worrying about things that will not matter in the future. Does anyone remember if they sucked their fingers or a binky?No!Let your baby be a baby, relax and enjoy him and do not worry about what other people think! He will be grown and gone before you know it!
Blessings,
B.

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L.R.

answers from Dallas on

A., My son was 2 when we broke the habit. He was just using one at bedtime and it seemed more of a "crutch" for me than for him. I came up with the idea that his new baby cousin needed them more than he did. We put all the "pap paps" in a bag and took them over to baby Thompson (his new cousin) and ceremonially handed them to his cousin (even though his cousin was only 2 months old)--then of course I threw them away. We talked extensively about how baby Thompson needed them now more than he did. It worked--the habit was broken. Our son asked only one other time for his "pap paps" and it just took a reminder that his cousin now had them. Hope this helps!

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

we are in the exact same situation...my daughter just turned 2 this week and we want to eliminate the paci. she uses it at nap time (at home) and nighttime but not when she goes to mothers day out. strange huh? anyway...another good suggestion was take the paci and go to build a bear. let them put hte paci in the bear when they stuff it along with the heart they put in. then your child has the bear OR whatever animal you choose to love on at night that holds the paci in his heart. i heard this works...good luck! i'm thinking we might need to try it... : )!!

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

You are getting some great advice! I never gave much thought to thumb-sucking or pacifiers, since both my husband and I sucked our thumbs until we were well into elementary school (I was 11, my husband won't admit how long he did it). My son sucked his thumb from 2 months until his 3rd birthday- don't know why he quit, he just did (may have had something to do with me cutting his thumbnail too short- not on purpose, mind you, but I digress). My daughter, 3, was a little more attached to her "pap-pap"s. I really tried to give them up, but since she was my baby, didn't really want to. My mother-in-law's dog, Tally, solved the problem. She ate my daughter's beloved pink pap-pap. Unfortunately for that trip to Grandma's, I only packed one pacifier. When we got home (we lived in different cities at the time) I threw all of the pacifier's away. From then, pacifier's were gone. When anyone asked Adri where her pap-paps were, she said, "Tally ate them". Now, they are a distant memory- Adri will be 4 next month. I'm just hoping this won't cost me too much in the uh-oh-mommy-screwed-up-again therapy fund.....Good luck!!!

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

My son was about 2 and half when I broke him of the habit. There were 3 or 4 Binkies in the house and as they wore out I did not replace. One day after a nap I heard crying and went into the room to discover that the nipple had fallen off of Binky on to the carpet. I said to him very softly that Binky died and was all gone. That night he cried a little for it and after that it was all gone. I threw the others away. So don't push the issue it will happen and you won't have to cave in. Stand your ground if you do take it away and stand to hear the tears and screams it will go away. The other S.. By the way my son will be 35 in September and no dental problems.

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I am an oldie here but I have a 13 yr old born at Christmas. We gave ours to Santa to give to a new baby. Worked like a charm.

Timing might be off for you on this one though. Good luck!

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