8 Month Wont Go to Sleep Without Crying! Help!

You know....
As someone with lots of experience with kids and babies, some just cry before going to sleep.
It's like their last little struggle, their last little fight, their last little burst of energy before they konk out.

I have literally known kids that don't go to sleep without crying first whether they are being held, rocked, nursed, driven around in the car......they just cry before sleep. I don't think it really hurts them. They just have to decompress before they can release the events of the day and knock themselves out.

Lots of kids just let it all out and then they're gone to slumberland.
It's hard to listen to them cry, but that's what some of them do.

It's okay.

Many kids fight sleep because they're afraid something really exciting will happen and they'll miss it.

I have known many sleep fighters in my day and you just get used to it. You can't cave all the time because that will just extend it. All kids need naps and regular sleep schedules. They don't always like it or understand it, and sometimes crying is just part of it. It's not easy to listen to, but it's not the end of the world, either.

Just reassure her, know that crying is okay, and things will work out.

Just my opinion.

So are you saying that you leave her in bed, she cries for an hour or more and then falls asleep, and that you have been doing this for the last two months, or are you leaving something out? I suspect, as a M. who has successfully used Ferber's method of gradual extinction twice, that there is more to this story.

Without all the facts we can't tell you why it isn't working.

If she is crying that long she is not eating enough during the day. She may seem fine and eat on a schedule etc, but she's hungry, trust me. I learned this from a mother of 10. Feed her more for three consecutive days, all day long, not only just before bed, before attempting to leave her to settle herself. It will take her body a few days to register the fullness and sleep better. Babies can sleep through the night at 3 months if they are not hungry.

I did CIO with all three kids, but they were full and never cried for longer than ten minutes and they really did settle into secure sleep quckly that way. One of them Loved to cry for a few minutes and would be "annoyed" if I interrupted by peeking in to check on him-he just wanted to cry a bit before sleeping.

Don't worry about the attachment parents who will say your child is permanently scarred by sleeping alone-just feed her more and try to relax. She'll sleep, no need to go to extremes. Also, what happens after an hour of screaming? Does she FINALLY go to sleep herself? Or do you go rescue her? If you have taught her her that enough crying will bring you in, then she will scream that long, and she may be a bit traumatized by this whole ordeal. If this is the case, then scrap it for a few weeks and start over with fuller belly and more resolve later.

We very calmly and definitely left the kids in bed to sleep and didn't come back, so they never got used to anything else...but again, their bellies were full full full so they passed right out.

Do you give up and go back in? If you do, then she continues it because you are teaching her that crying gets you to do what she wants.

Do you put her to bed too early? Or too late? Do you nurse her or give her a bottle in the middle of the night?

All of these things can be part of it.

Some babies need to cry. Some would wake up on and off all night if you went in to them once. It's according to the baby.

Dawn

She needs to learn to self-soothe, she can't if you rescue her. She also needs a bedtime routine every night, repetition gives them security because they know what to expect. A warm bath, rubdown with lotion, putting on pj's, a bedtime story while smuggling in your arms with low lights and talking in whispers does wonders for relaxing babies and toddlers and preparing them for bed, no TV or loud noises.

When she cries go in after 5 minutes, no lights, no picking her up, no talking, just lay her down and pat or rub her tummy, back, whatever until she calms down, say goodnight, then leave. Next time wait 10 minutes, then 15, adding 5 minutes each time. The less interaction the better, you want to convey that bed is for sleeping.

She will cry, but if you are consistent with your response her crying WILL lessen and eventually cease, you have to be more willful than she is. You're teaching her a skill, to go to sleep on her own. Like any skill, she won't master it the first time, she needs your help as with any skill, in this case your being consistent.

for how long? 5 minutes, deal with it, she's just being stubborn. 3 hours...different story.

To be effective crying it out has to first teach her that you are still there and will respond if she needs you. You go in after 5 minutes or so of her crying, pat her until she calms down and leave again. Return in 10 minutes and repeat. Usually this just takes a few nights for it to work.

By allowing her to cry for hours you've taught her that you will not respond and she's angry and scared. She hasn't developed a sense of trust in you which is a very important step in teaching a child to self-soothe.

Here is a web site that will help. http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...

Most babies would've stopped crying as well as stopped interacting with you if it's as you said, he cries for hours every night for several months. Perhaps you've been inconsistent so he still has hope that you do care.