7 Year Old Daughter Won't Sleep in Her Bed Alone!!!!! Help!!!

I am kinda going through that with my 7 yr old and the reading a fun book with her in their bedroom and then she has a favorite bear that we put in a chair to keep watch over her. That has seemed to help, one night we forgot the bear and she came out 4 times because she was scared, got the bear and went to sleep. Good luck and hope this and the other great suggestions help. i especiall like the peppermint foot rub and lavander on the pillow!

Hi A.,

I have a 6 year old boy that I adopted at 3. He has struggled with being terrified at night. Foster care at night is a very scary/alone place. He used to come into our bed every night. This is what we have done to help him: 1st, I read to him every night in his bed. Since he likes to read and he likes cuddle time with Mom, he associates that good thing with his room. 2nd: I rub peppermint foot lotion on his feet. It's very relaxing for him and the peppermint makes his feet warm & tingly so he can feel my presence even after I've left the room. 3rd: I spritz his pillow with a lavander aromatherapy spray. Since monsters don't like pretty smells (they only like yucky smells), it keeps them away. Plus lavander is supposed to help induce good sleep. He is now sleeping like a baby every night and has grown to love his room & bed!

Good luck,

L.

My daughter did the exact same thing. I hate to say it but after about a year we decided to get her a puppy and she sleeps with her and my daughter feels more secure. I don't know if it was something she saw on tv or something about strangers they taught in school but all of a sudden she was afraid someone was going to break in a steal her. Again, my husband had more of an issue with it; I would lie down in her room and fall asleep in there; it was like reading something I could have written. Needless to say my daughter is 12 now - but we dealt with the exact same thing. I am sure there is a better answer than getting a dog - but we never found it and when we had decided to add a dog to our family it was a win win for all of us. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone and I can sympathize. You don't want to force your daughter to have to stay in her room, especially if she is truly afraid. It is hard as a parent to know what to do. Good Luck.

My 6 year old has a Cinderella night light lamp that she keeps close to her head at night. Some nights she wants me to laydown and cuddle with her so I will wind up a music box and cuddle until it stops and then I give her a kiss and say goodnight. When I cuddle with my 6 year old I also have to cuddle with my 4 year old...they share a room. They get the cuddle time that they desire and I don't feel like I need to stay all night!

You're right -that is a tough one. You want to please everyone, including your self, but there's no clear path to follow.
Does she have a night light? Maybe picking out something that's special for her will make the room more inviting. Even 2 if the room is bigger.
I had the same problem with my 6yr old, complete with worry that someone would come take her in the night. (It must be a girl thing with all the worrying.) I let her pick out 2 lights and she even takes the responsibility to turn them on and off everytime she uses them. We also leave the radio on her clock running through the night. Not loud, just enough to barely be heard...kinda like a white noise.
She had gotten to the point that it would stress us both out at bedtime - so I went "old school" and got a crystal that is supposed to ward off the bad vibes (amethyst). I told her that nothing ugly wanted to be in a room with something so pretty.
It's worked. Either a combination of things,all of the above, or just one - whatever it is, I'm sticking to it. She's slept in her room after the goodnight hugs and kisses ever since.
I hope you find the things that work for your daughter. So you can get back to sleeping in your adult size bed. (those kid size get small quick - especially with 2 people!)
:)

annie; yes it can be very scary for a child, to sleep alone and may need that extra boost, of comfort! ive always allowed my kids to have that comfort when needed, there are times when we just want to be held by someone , and it may not be comforting for that person to always give it when needed, my husband and i found us in the same situation but i was not willing to just say go away, i wanted to comfort my kids without disturbing my husbands sleep. when i was young i was scared and needed comfort, i used to have horrible nightmares, and my mom would never let me in her bed so as to not disturb dad, well this led me to find comfort elsewhere, like an older teen brothers room, and me in his bed was not good, so in effect that pushing away from parents, was not beneficial, at all, and i really needed to be in their room, so i chose to not ever push my kids away especially in a time of need or fear, so i put a small mattress under my bed, all made up and when the child came in, the room i could hold them on my side of bed, and then lay them down on the mattress on the floor and could rub their backs, or could hold their hand without taking up room in my bed, and disturbing all of us, this helped my children alot and at any age were able to come into our room and always feel safe, it wont last long, they will eventualy go to their room, and this allows them to start in their room, and finish sleeping on their own with comfort, hopefully thats enough time for you and your husband to make whoopie , haaah either way have a restful sleep with knowing you cared for their little fears as well, D. s

I'm sure you have tried a lot of different methods but one suggestion would be to allow her to fall asleep with the light on or with a lamp on in her room. My five year old who use to sleep fine with just a night light did not want to sleep alone in her room starting about a year ago. She tried sleeping with everyone in the house, her older sister, me (my husband works midnights). I knew that would be a slippery slope because I made that mistake with my son who is now 8. We used ghost spray (scented water in a bottle) and I let her tell me where she wanted me to spray (in the closet and under the bed, etc). That worked for a while but then she needed something more so I told her she could leave the light on. We have a small lamp on her dresser that I leave on until she falls asleep. Before I go to bed at night I turn it off. This works for her. Good luck!

Only suggestion I have is to buy her a night light and reassure her she's safe in her own room. There's no such thing as monsters or the boogey man. If you dont take care of this now, it will become a serious problem in the future. It's going to be difficult for you, but it has to be done. You and your husband deserve to have intimate time together w/out the little one in the middle.

For us, there's no one, single answer. We do have the crib mattress next to our bed. Our daughter is not allowed in our bed, but she can sleep on the floor next to us next to us. It's a compromise. Our daughter will go to bed in her bed, but wakes up every single night and wants to sleep with us. She likes to cuddle and be extra warm. We have tried flannel sheets. It helps, but isn't 100%. We got a night light. It helps, but not 100%. We have an EXACT routine from which we never deviate. It helps, but isn't 100%. We increased her activity so she's extra tired. It helps, but isn't 100%. We have explained that mommies sleep with daddies and not with kids. You can give her something of yours to cuddle with, like a t-shirt you wore that day. You can kiss her, hug her and tell her you will be back in 1 minute to check on her and DO IT! If she's still awake, tell her you love her, kiss her and tell her you'll be back in 1 minutes to check on her. And keep doing that until she falls asleep. Tell her you have to check on your 10 year old, if necessary. You can put a fan in her room and run it on low to create some ambiant noise in her room to help with household noise. Play a CD with relaxing music or ocean waves. Practice some deep breathing exercises with her.

I'm sensitive to this issue. I remember the day my parents turned out my night light. It was a SIGNIFICANT EMOTIONAL EVENT. I do realize if your husband hasn't experienced something like that, it's hard to sympathize.

Good luck!