15 Y/o Son Not Doing His Homework

I am sorry this is going to be a lifetime problem for him..Children with ADHD, are adults with ADHD and as they get older, it becomes even worse.. My husband has ADHD, I have known him since he was 13.. He AL:WAYS had this problem.. He would forget homework, not do homework, run out of time, or do the homework but forget to turn it in.. He drove his parents around the bend.. In college he was completely overwhelmed by all of the responsibility of keeping up with everything.

There is no cure, no matter how much you beg, yell, punish, it will not change, instead it makes them even more stressed.

Yes, my husband passed all test, knew the work, but he could not show the work. He would do work in class if there was time given, but once he was out of that classroom chair.. he was done for the day.. No focus unless he was the one that was interested in the work..

My husband has no sense of time..He never will. He keeps up with time by ME, his pager, his cell phone and his computer.. He is in charge of a huge department with the Police Department and it causes so much stress for him to keep up with all of it, when he comes home, he is completely exhausted and stressed.. But He will not take medication.. His parents did not believe in it.. He over heard them once ask a doctor if he was "retarded"! You can imagine his self esteem has always suffered because of this..

I have begged him for 35 years to try medication.. There are a ton on the market.. Your son needs to try to find one what WILL work for him.. Saying it is not an option, breaks my heart..

Just this weekend, my husband said, if I will make an appt.. he will go to his doctor and look into getting meds.! Yay!

Please sit down with your son, explain that his school work is his main responsibility, he must come up with a solution to this problem on his own, because you will not always be there to help him stay on top of it.. You can give him an agenda and teach him how to use it, but do not be surprised if he forgets to write the homework down.. Does you son have an IEP at school? This would help allow him a little more time to complete work and few other extensions, but what will he do for the rest of his life?

I am sending you strength and clarity.

Help him get organized and remind him daily. Check on him and follow through. You won't be there for him forever but you're there for him now. This little bit of help for him now will go a long way for him in the future. You can also help his ADD symptoms with diet and supplements. Try cutting out (or cutting back on) gluten and sugar. I'm not sure what supplements are good but make sure he's taking good vitamins every day. Good luck!

I would strongly suggest the following:
1. Contact your son's guidance counselor and request a Section 504 review, if he has not already had one. A child with a documented medical condition may be eligible for add'l supports and structures at school (including testing accommodations)
2. Contact his primary care physician and request a referral to a adolescent psychiatrist. I'm not sure when you last tried meds, but there are many more options now than even 5 yrs ago. If it worked then, it will help now. Many of the new meds are softer on the body, especially now that he's older.
3. Get a large desk-style calendar that shows the entire month. Have him write each assignment due date on the calendar and highlight it. Then "back track" the assignments by breaking them into smaller chunks and working a little at a time. For nightly tasks, have him keep a planner and check it with him each night.

Whatever you decide on behaviorally, keep it simple and very routine. He's got to be able to use the system and work towards doing so independently!

does he have a cell phone? I know lots of teens do either of you could set a few reminders in it to help him remember to do it.
Does he walk or take the bus home? Does he have any really good friends that could say "hey J did you remember to grab your Latin book" at the end of the day so he has what he needs when he gets home.
Some other type of electronic device he could have at school to put his keep track of his homework with set to beep at the end of the day with a list of what he needs to take home. I don't think a tutor will help because its lack of organization with homework not test/quizes that are giving him trouble. Can you talk to any of his teachers and see if they will let him turn in late homework?

Could you meet with his teachers and work out a special arrangement? Clearly he's grasping the subjects well and doing great on his testing. Maybe you could meet with the teachers (without him) and state your case. They might be willing to weight his homework differently given the challenges that he has with focusing. You might involve he school guidance counselor in that conversation, too, since this is clearly affecting his emotional well being.

Well I have 2 sons that were ADD and ADHD so I fell your frustration. They both did the meds. We worked with the Dr. until we found the one that was right for them. I also had an IEP done for them both because they were OHI which is Other Health Impaired. This gave them a resource teacher that helped them to get organized and get assignments in on time. They hated it at first but learned that it was a helpful tool. You could have them put in the IEP that he needs a set of books at home so if he forgets a book it is not a problem. I would not give up on the meds because they really do help, just work with the Dr. to get the right one. Also let his teachers know so that they can inform you of any changes they see in your son. I am a Special Education teacher and I am not pushing meds but when all else is not working we have to go with what does. I had one son that when I went to parent teacher conference he had 67 missing assignment. The other son I took his book bag to the conference and dumped out all the paper that he had done and the teachers said "oh there is the assignment(s) I was looking for". They were completed assignments that he just forgot to turn in. This is typical of ADD and ADHD children. I hope this helps. Also have him keep an assignment book that will be a reminder of what assignments he has to do and work with is teachers. I realize he doesn't want help but he needs help because he really can't do this on his own and he needs to accept all the help that is offered. Remind him that it is your job to make sure he has what he needs. My son that has ADHD has learned how to deal with it and is now in the Air Force doing great. The other is still struggling to find his way. ADHD can cause him to make really poor choices that could cause him problems that only a lawyer can try to solve. If you need to contact me and I will give you all the support I can.

My son was the same way, there is also tutoring and guided study periods where all they have to do is their Homework. I actually think it's a status thing to them, they think they are impressing people if they are sitting there doing nothing or sleeping. Please do something I didn't do, make him do it. Sit there with him. I believed him when he said he wouldn't. Make him show it to you, and for awhile be annoying and check with the teachers. Yes, this too shall pass, you however will feel better if you do everything to help him.

wow I have been here, my oldest son started 7th grade in honor classes his GPA at the end of the year was 1.4 he was sent to alternative middle school the second quarter of 8th grade because he was failing. His test scores are 95% but he was not handing anything in. Finally his school psychologist diagnosed ADD/ADHD he was put in a study skills class he is not medicated at all. His GPA for the first quarter was 3.8 he has handed in all assignments, had three tardies, I was not keen on the school taking over at first but I have to say just having this class and this little bit of help has helped tons. I have not told my son of his diagnosis he is not aware of why he gets this class but it has been a god send really. they help him organize his world it helped in school, at home really. Talk to the school see if they can help him it will make your life soo much easier

First, all of the responses are possible solutions. Having said that, and having had 4 children with ADHD (girl and boys), my suggestions are 1st and foremost TRUST YOUR GUT, if you feel your son is doing well w/o meds and just needs to learn to organize himself, find/help him learn to do that for himself, sadly they don't really teach that in our schools and it really needs to be created by the individual which also teachs self reliance and increases self esteem! I like the phone or computer reminders; if insurance or finance allow find him a mentor/counselor that specializes or has ADHD! Of the 4 I've raised or continue to raise each 1 was and needed different solutions, 2 required meds and 1 (a soph in HS) is currently needing to be taken off... So 2nd I know folks that have used "natural" forms of help that have had HUGELY successful results. Everything from supplements from a holistic Dr. in our area, Dr Holt, McHenry IL; to magnet therapy, you can learn more on that if you want to email me direct ____@____.com take care and hang in there it sounds like he's doing well but can teach himself (with support) to do his best!!

my step daughter was like that and my husband and i just finally niped it in the bud but grounding her to her room for not doing her work, if she "forgot it" then we'd go print up work on the subjects she had less than a c in and she say "we havn't covered that in class yet!" my hd told her then start bringing your stuff home, until then, you're going to do what i assign you, if you don't know what you're doing we'll give you an example, then you're expected to do it, then at least when you cover it in class you'll have an idea of what you're doing. (what he printed that she didn't know what actually covered the following week, so she made a better test grade on it....was glad we did that) ;)

Watch "ADD and Loving It!?!" currently airing on PBS. The last part of the show is dedicated to ADD/ADHD meds. Please find a psychiatrist who specializes in ADD/ADHD. He/she will know all the current meds and potential side-effects, correct dosing, etc. My son had to tried numerous meds, doses and combinations of meds before we found a good fit. ADD/ADHD is a medical condition and not treating it with medication is like not giving insulin to a diabetic.

I think our son's are related. :)

Mine has Inattentive ADD and tho' we tried meds he has chosen to do 9th grade without them. He also has homework issues BUT at 14 and in 9th grade it is time for him to prepare himself for college and put the study habits he has been taught into practice. Let's face it - even with ADD they know when they are goofing off and looking out the window instead of at the work in front of them.

So, what I do:
I ask my son each night if has homework. If he tells me no - I go with that. I will not check his backpack for paperwork like he is in Elementary school anymore.

I ensure that he has a place to work to complete homework. Not his room. He can work at my desk, on the kitchen table, etc. It does have to be a place where I can see him.

No distractions - I did finally realize that he works better with the MP3 going in one ear. Weird, but since it works for him I let it be.

I am always available to help him with his homework and if I can't (like Algebra) I have friends who are just a phone call away that will help.
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With all that being said, I will be honest and say that he is failing one class and has a "D" in another right now. Since he is on the block system he only has the final exams next week to pull these grades up. He will not have these two classes next semester. Since one is French he can retake it in 10th grade. I have made it very clear that if he flunks two classes this year that he will repeat the 9th grade.

Mine does get grounded and has all privileges taken away for bad grades and he does get rewarded for good grades - so I offer incentives - but sometimes they just don't seem to matter to him.

By the time they are in High School we begin the big push towards self sufficiency and college with our kids. I would rather have mine realize now that failure to do his work results in be held back, then have him to do this in college and lose scholarships or other funding.

Give your son the tools and encouragement he needs. Have an honest talk with him about the consequences of his actions. "C" averages VS "A" averages and scholarship opportunities. Have him help you set up a system of rewards/punishments for good grades, that will slowly taper off as he approaches Senior year in high school.

Good Luck.