School Help for My 10 Year Old 5Th Grader

It is really rough but important to get them in the mode of organization. So many things will be required of them in the coming years. For my 9 year old son I make sure there is routine. He is still working out the kinks but he is realizing that I won't pick up all the pieces when he leves things at homes or at dad's that he is neededing/wanting.

Every evening when he has complted his homework everything goes back into his backpack.

In the morning he is to start getting dressed directly 1 hour before we leave and verify lunch options right after breakfast then that his backpack and jacket are ready to roll out the door. When we began the process of the routines I had charts/checklists for him to look at to remind him rather than me being the harping bad guy.

I am a working mom so I have to be getting myself ready in the AM as well and this has made him feel more responsible and once in the routine he really likes the organization and the reassurance that it gives him! I hope that maybe sometihng like this might work for you and your son. Good Luck.

It sounds like your first step is to start making sure he actually does his homework, it's just as much his responsibility as it is yours.

Start with setting up a designated study/homework time each night, right after school if need be. My son is in 1st grade and has daily homework that he immediately has to come home and get done before there is any time for playing with friends.

As for study skills, the one thing that helped me become a successful student was note taking. With any reading assignments, I would read a paragraph or two, then job down in the notebook for that subject the key points or important facts of what I just read and go on to the next section. These notes were helpful in reviewing what I had read, answering questions pertaining to what I read, and great for a quick study before any exams.

If he's getting a lot of homework, you can break the evening down into subjects, with small breaks in between.

Does he have his own work area at home, like a desk? This is a great way to keep everything organized, have a paper bin for homework that needs to be done/studied, and one for homework that needs to be checked by you, after you've checked it, move it to a third bin to be turned in the following morning. Make it a routine of saying "hey (name), did you pick up your turn in homework?" before he leaves in the morning. You can also place a folder that stays in his bookbag specifically for turning assignments in that way it never gets lost.

Check out Flylady.net. This website is run by a woman named Marla Cilley. She teaches us how to organize our lives. She has a tool called a control journal. She has developed one for students. You can download it and print it off and utilize a 3 ring binder to hold it. This should help enforce the routines that your son will need to keep him organized. Kids thrive on routines! Flylady.net also has something called an office in a bag. It is essentially a binder holder, but it has zippered compartments for pens and pencils, so everything you need is in one place. This step is not necessary, but it is nice. The Office in a Bag comes in Black and Purple.

Good luck!
M.

As you begin teaching him study skills, you may have to invest a lot of time in sitting down with him. Go through his bookbag with him when he gets home and ask what he has to do, and then make sure he does it, i.e. break it down into small steps, such as one assignment, and then go do something for 20 minutes while he does the assignment, then come back to see if it's done. If he doesn't have an assignment book that he writes down homework in, get him one immediately. Then, try giving him incentives. Both our boys struggle in school, so we told them if they can get all As and Bs this year, they can each pick out a day camp to go to this summer (one wants to take karate, the other a hunter's safety course) and we talk about it frequently, to keep them excited. We've also made it very clear that if they get anything below a B, they will not get the day camp. We also set shorter term incentives. You may want to treat him to dinner at his favorite place once he goes two weeks handing in all his assisnments, or something like that. With ADD, it may help to find a good child psychologist who specializes in ADD to help both of you adjust to living with the disorder.

One final note: if it does come down to him being held back, there are worse things, like pushing ahead to the next grade and not being ready for it. It can be a positive experience to the child to feel competent rather than being behind all the time, and set him up better for future success. One of my boys was held back, and it was really the best thing for him. Just keep working with him and building his confidence. Good luck!
T.

I'm in the same boat as you Hon. My daughter, now in 7th grade, has been doing the same thing since probably 3rd grade. One thing that did help was the school put her on a "focus" target program. They "mapped" out the day by I believe hours and for every hour she stayed focused she got an "X" for every hour she didn't she got a "O" or something like that. It also had a spot for assignments. It helped a little. I'm not sure about your son, but my daughter has that artist personality and while she loves school and soaks up the knowledge the work after that it like putting a square peg in a round hole. First, what I had to do was make sure I tried to not "freak" out too much (still working on that one). Let him know you are proud of him and if he needs to talk about anything you are there. With my daughter she had a teacher in a earlier grade say some things to her that were meant to be helpful, but were taken wrong by her and it has crushed her spirit, it you will. I suggest talking to the school to see if they have a "focus" target program (the actual name will probably vary from district to district). If your son has the same personality as my daughter then punishing, bribing and the like does not help. I hope this has helped, good luck, if you find that "one thing" I'd love to know maybe it'll work for my daughter as well.

Honey,
Hello is Your Lil 'Guy on medication? My son has extreme ADHD -n- Aspergers Syndrome a form of Autism Bright as ever with 100% talking just very poor social skills. Anyway My daughter has ODD too. I believe that he mighjt need a medication raised..My son is on Concerta and without this he could not funtion peroid. He is so so so very disorganized without his medicatin. Also I've been told "Structure" Yes I know it's all so very hard I still not very structered here at my home. But the doctors have told me try alot of structure. Constantly try to have routine. Hope some of these ideas help M.

Sounds like your son and my daughter are alot alike! My daughter has ADD also and is in the 6th grade now. Is your son on medication for his ADD? When my daughter was first diagnosed with it I was so anti-medication but then when I watched her at school and her teachers explained what goes on there to me I knew that there was no other choice and it was the best decision I ever made. There have been some times when she has problems and when I investigate a little it comes down to she is growing and we have had to up her meds a little this has happened twice in the 5 years she has been on the medication. This made her an entirely different child, and happy too, she was not happy with herself. If your son is on meds, maybe he needs a higher dose if not you should do some deep considering, i finally decided that if my daughter was not going to be able to pay attention in school and move up in her school career something had to be done before it was too late. Do you communicate with his teacher? My daughters special ed teacher emails every day what homework they have, maybe that is something you could set up with his teacher whether email or some other daily form of communication. This way you will know what homework he has and can help him remember it. Make it a routine every day when he comes home from school, get home unwind a little with a snack and sit down and get homework done right away, get it out of the way for the evening and it is usually fresh in their minds this way too and they are still in the school swing! Routine and schedules work really well for ADD kids I have found. Does your son get any special ed help, my daughter did in elementary and still does but it is not quite the special ed that we thought of when we were in school, she had help available to her in the classroom and went to the special ed room to work in a smaller group with her math and reading comprehension a small amout of time every day. Now in Middle school her actual math class is with the special ed teacher and other children that have trouble in math. And she has a free study hall with this same teacher in which she can get help with any homework she may have.

The key to all this is practice, flashcards if it is math that he is having trouble with, reading and talking to you about what he read if it is reading. Repeat and practice over and over. Make it fun to, make it a game so that it is not so boring!

I will be glad to help you in any way that I can as it seems our children are alot alike. Please write me back if you need anything else!

Good Luck, S.

My granddaughter had the same problem and we found it in the 5th grade. I think that is when the school load is so heavy they just can't keep up without organizational skills. We had her tested and found she had ADD and in spite of all of my daughter's not wanting to believe she had a problem, my granddaughter was put on medication. Her grades improved tremendiously. Homework went so much better. She was a different child. It was harder for her parents to accept than her. After reading up on my granddaughter's condition, I, too, took the test, and found I have Adult ADD and not just depression. I have been able to find treatment for my condition and am feeling so much better. Read everything you can about ADD and if you think it might be the problem, please get your son some medication. There is no comparison with and without it. It is a chemical imbalance that needs medication for treatment. Good luck! J.

Hi Shannon,

Well I don't know what you school does but we live in Independence, MO and here the kids all have 3 ring binder for all their classes. Also talk to his teachers get in touch with them and see if they can provide you any information.

With the binder we get the page dividers that have folders and tabs on them. The folders come in handy because they can put their homework in when it is assigned or when it is done. They come in different colors also.

The next thing is our school gives out Agendas, they are like weekly planners that the kids can write down their assignments in everyday.

Also I have been down this road you are on now, my advice is to nip this in the bud now. Set up a meeting with his teachers any and all. Find out what the problem is. Is he not paying attention in class. Also take all privileges away until it is resolved or a plan is mapped out. Hope this helps you W.

Hi Shannon,

My first thought is...does your son have an Individualized Education Pprogram (IEP) at his school? If not, you need to get the process started at school as soon as possible. All children with diagnosed learning disabilities are elligible for IEP's...his ADD and ODD qualifies him.

In the initial IEP meeting you and the appropriate school staff will set up a plan that will help your son stay organized, be in the right classes and receive the needed help with any classes he might be struggling with.

My son has had an IEP since kindergarden (he's now in 9th grade) and we wouldn't have made it without it. I've picked up a few tips along the way. One of the top tips is making a 3-ring notebook for any school, medical, and medication information and a diary. Insert a current photo of your son in the outside pocket of the notebook. That way during your appointments you can have the notebook on the table before you and his picture will remind everyone that it's a real child, not a number or a case.

You can contact me if you'd like. I'd be happy to pass on some tips.

Good luck.

W. Q

Hi Shannon. Don't worry, you are not the only parent that has this concern. I am a sixth grade teacher and deal with this organization issue a lot in the beginning. It is a great thing that you are aware of it now before he is in middle school with a lot more teachers in a day. My suggestion is to help him use a binder with a folder for each subject. That way he can have it all there. Does he have a planner? If so, have him write down his assignments and highlight things before the end of the day, so he knows what is homework. Maybe his teacher will be willing to sign off each night to let you know if he has homework--I do that for some students. Use the planner as a fast way to communicate. Also, does his teacher have a homework hotline or class website? If so, maybe you guys can go over that every night. The main thing, is to ask him to see the assignments each night and assume that he has things to do. I know our school is open until the evening, so if you doubt what he is saying, maybe you can stop in. I tell you, if you can help him with this now, it will make his transition into middle school much easier!!

Hi Shannon ~

I have never answered a question like this before, but I just want to offer some help to you. So here goes, and I hope it will be helpful to you.
If you can get colored tabs to seperate his classwork to be put into a three ring binder that may offer some help to being more organized. If you are able to sit with him when he comes home, to go through his work and put it into "order" for him. Sit with him while he does his work and then remind him to turn it in when he leaves for school. Perhaps ask the teacher to remind him to turn in his work. It's a shame if he does it & then just forgets to turn it in. He can have a list to check off before leaving the house for school to be sure he has his completed work with him.
Maybe see if you can find an inexpensive tutor to help with the study habits or talk with his teacher's to see if they can suggest any ideas.
You obviously are striving to do the right thing for him and yourself, so try not to be too h*** o* yourself. Asking for help is a great start! Sometimes "holding ones hand" through hard times can help a lot. Be there for him and walk him through it. Try to encourage him for the smallest things and give praise every chance you get! It's always easier for some reason to find the faults, but strive hard to find his strengths too! Good luck and I hope this helps a little bit. Take care! C.

I have the same age kids and my son is very bright, but lazy. We had the same problem and took video gaming away, he was getting addicted and even limiting him brought on a whole bunch of disrespect! He was constantly talking back. We have decided to also give him 5 dollars for each a he gets on report and he has to do homework when he gets home. We have also made him stick to one sport(tae kwan do). This is great for discipline and self esteem! Great class at fitness plus- instructor Ryan balsano. He is slowly turning around and getting homework completed with my insistence of course. He would rather be doing something else besides sitting at a desk all day, I'm sure. It may be very well that ur child is bored at school or needs more hands on schooling. For instance, my mom is a private school teacher and never uses text books. If it's part of history, they read from a storybook or put on a play etc... All her kids are accepted to highly prestigious high school. Children have different personalities and thrive in certain environments. Good luck!

Have you given much thought to Homeschooling? If he is struggling and saying his is sincerely trying as hard as he can to remember, and seeing that he has ADD and ODD, maybe homeschooling would benefit him. You are already staying home with your daughter it looks like...just a suggestion :)

If your son has been diagonosed with ADD then the school should have an iep and I think part of that would be that the teacher would help him be organized. All he needs is an assignment book that the teacher would right his assignments in, or make sure he does it. She's going to have to take a little bit of time at the end of the day to make sure he goes home with what he needs. And you will have to make sure he goes back to school with it. You need a special folder just for that sort of thing. Then all he has to do is grab that and he has what he needs. Organization skills are part of LD. The teacher needs to help him with that.

Shannon:

We all seem to struggle with organization. Research shows some interesting things that you might find helpful. Different organizational strategies work for different personality types and learning styles. For instance, I'm a visual learner and am creative. I find that if I file something it's gone. The old "Out of Sight, Out of Mind." So I need to organize using open bins, baskets, etc.

How does this help you and your son? First you need to identify your son's learning style. I've written an article on E-How that can help you with this. See <http://www.ehow.com/how_###-###-####_identify-childs-lear...;

Then work with his learning style (and with him) to set up some organizational systems. If he's visual he'll want Color Coded Charts where he can see them. If he's auditory try getting him a tape recorder so that he can record notes on what needs to be done. If he's kinetic he'll need to place things in certain areas and at different levels. Make it a game to work with him to develop the best strategies for his learning style.

Good luck.

C.