10-Month-old Resisting Self-feeding

As previous posts said, he'll do it when he is ready. I also agree that its a good idea for babies to sit with the family at meal times. I feed my son right before we all sit down for dinner and then leave him in his highchair with some cheerios or puffs and sometimes small bits of what we're eating (bread, potatoes, green beans) and if nothing else it gives him something to play with so that the rest of us can eat. Just keep offering stuff he can feed himself and don't make it into a power struggle. Good luck!

One question, do you feed him at your mealtime, or separately? Maybe try makiing one of his meals when the family is eating and just put the food on his plate, sit and have a family meal, and include him in the "talk." He won't starve, he'll feed himself as long as he is able (and it seens he is) but you are not forcing him to do it to your specifications and you are not walking away and abandoning him. He may not eat for a one or two meals, but believe me, hunger will get the process started. And once he gets the positive reinforcement of eating when he's hungry, he will continue.

Don't try to guide his hands to feed him - toddlers don't like to be manipulated or grabbed anymore than grownups do.
Try having him eat his lunch while you eat yours. Put the little pieces on his tray and sit next to him and eat your lunch. Eating is necessary for life - therefore an instinct - the reason he is not doing it on his own is because you still feed him and there is no need. I'm not saying stop feeding him, just don't feed him at the same time you want him to do it himself.

Our oldest (now almost 3) was the same way. We figured out he just doesn't like to get his hands dirty (unless in play). He eventually grew out of it, but at the time I gave him the baby plastic utensils and he loved those. You may want to try them out and see. Plus like some other moms said, to included them in the family meal time. Our boys always ate when we ate. Good luck with your little one.

Everyone develops at a different rate. Does he use his hand for other things? Has he developed a pincer grasp? If you are worried he is not hitting a developmental milestone, maybe you should talk to his peditrician.

Hi B.,
Your're little 10 month old, is resisting because, he is getting just the attention he wants from you. I would try letting him just have the bitter biscuts___and them only, for each meal Also, give him liquid nurishment in his sippy cup often, which you say; he can handle feeding himself. (this is going to take plenty of patience on your part.) After awhile of just using his own hands to feed himself_____you can slowly and I mean slowly introduce a little bit of solid food on his tray. hopefully, after a short period of time he will get curious enough to try.
Don't help him let him do it by himself and all by himself.

One more thing you can try___there must be another treat____something he especially likes_____you could lay that on the tray and wait...... Always gently encourgage him, eventually, he will take off and just reach out to do it.

He is only ten months old, relax and give him some time. Just keep giving him opportunities, he'll grow up fast enough on his own! Enjoy the little bit of babyhood you have left....

As a mom of three boys, I would not worry. He is a normal little boy w/ his own little personality. He may enjoy being pampered and so be it! Feed him three main meals when you eat, eat at the same time, and that way he gets use to eating with the family. Give him things on a plate or on his tray that he can pick up but continue to feed him. Very low stress. He will eventually begin to pick things up and eat. Make sure the foods are easy for him to pick up and age appropriate - cheerios or other cereal, firm veggies, crackers, soft meats like turkey, noodles, things of that nature. He will begin to do it if you make everything very natural. And if you are not totally forcused on him. If you are eating and talking to your husband and everything is natural then he is not feeling "forced to perform". ha Anyway, have a great day. You are doing great! A.

I suggest surrender. He will do it when he is ready. Just keep feeding him and try to enjoy it. This phase will pass. One of mine would not eat anything until she was more than 12mo. She is now a wonderful very independent 8yr. She eats all kinds of foods and feeds herself. It will be ok. Sometimes it is hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I say just relax and know that he will feed himself when he is ready and it will be before he goes to college.

I do not want to dance around the question, because I am not sure on how to get him to feed his self. However, I am thinking he will do it when he is ready. My 1 year old will feed his self as far as picking his food up off of the tray or if it drops from the spoon, but he does not feed his self with the spoon nor can he really lift his sippie cup up all the way, he is usually short of lifting it up enough where he can get suck the liquid out.

My son has been a little behind my girls as well, and I have wondered, but just as I start to worry about it, he has already started doing what he has needed to.

You can see if he would enjoy feeding you. My daughter loves to feed me as well, maybe that would make it more fun. We take turns she feeds me and she feeds herself. Another suggestion is try giving him a cookie that you think he will love and then put it on the tray and see if he goes for it. Good luck.

Personally unless your dr feels differently - let it go..he'll eventually get it...don't rush it! I have a friend who's son is over 1 and still doesn't self feed...he'll get it eventually. Just enjoy your baby.

"he's a good eater and mealtime is so pleasant..." I agree with you to nix the battle. Keep up the brainstorm of ideas; let's see, (a) he'll eat the biter biscuits, when you trained him in the middle of the meal. and how long did that take? ____ (fill in the blank). Let's pretend, for sake of explanation, it took 3 days. Have you tried ONLY 1 other food, trained just like the biter biscuit, for at least 3 days, letting the rest of the food to be fed to him without "strings". And what attention does he get? full eye contact, un-distracted mom? Were you really busy just before the meal preparing it (very distracted)? Perhaps you could feed him for five minutes (until no longer frantic) and then feed yourself or find other distractions so his meal time takes longer... you still feed him, but sporadically and not when he's upset, and before he asks for more, frequently, but not all the time. Be sure to give him the un-distracted time of full eye contact AFTER the meal and not related to eating or cleaning up after the meal... If he's eating well, look at yourself and slowly eliminate any fears about his eating and mealtime in general... I don't think him eating all kinds of food from his hands is developmental, just as long as he does one food, the rest will come, with time. Don't stop trying, just trust that he'll be fine in due time, 'cause he CAN do it... By the way, sounds like your doing a great job...