My 10-month old son is still not feeding himself. When I give him cheerios or puffs, he picks them up and smashes them in his little hands, and only occasionally will he try to feed them to himself. He will eat them if I feed them. He is also still eating a lot of pureed foods, not many foods with texture other than cheerios, puffs, and occasionally rice. I gave him a teething biscuit yesterday and he did feed that to himself for a bit, but eventually lost interest and threw it on the floor.
Does anybody have any suggestions? I'm trying to give him more opportunity to feed himself, but he prefers it when I feed him. I'd also like to try to give him more foods with texture for him to chew, but he doesn't seem to like how the food feels in his mouth.
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A few of you have asked about how he is developing otherwise, and it is normal. He waves, gives kisses, understands (and for now listens) when we say NO. He is not far away from walking (a lot of standing and couch surfing). No words yet, but a lot of babbling. In terms of quantity, he eats A LOT. I give him "thick" foods like lumpy oatmeal with fruit puree and smashed beans & cheese. He would eat a gallon of yogurt a day if I fed it to him. He is a little bit picky about veggies, but the more I introduce them to him, the more accepting he is of them. Oh, he is also breastfed but will drink water from a sippy cup (and hold it himself!).
No worries J., He will get the hang of it. He just likes the smashing feeling in his hand. My grandson is 14 mos. and he just started feeding himself at about 12 mos. He still is trying to get the spoon working right. I just have a bigger mess to clean after every meal.
Hi J.,
Sounds like he is perfectly normal to me. Just keep offering him to feed himself. then, after about 10 minutes I would feed him. :) He's only 10 months old...Enjoy every baby moment you have with him because they grow so fast and before you know it he will be eating you out of house at home! LOL
Hopefully everyone else hasn't said this already, but have you let him get really hungry and put the food in front of him and not fed it to him? To me it seems like, if he's hungry enough and he has the food in front of him, he *will* eat it. Good luck!
Are you concerned that he is not eating enough? According to your article when he gets bored with or do not like the texture he won't eat it. I recommend that you take your leads from your child. When he is hungry, he will reach for food. In other words, try to wait for a sign from him that he is actually hungry. You are still breastfeeding so he is actually getting alot of the nutrients he need from the breast milk.
Different textures of foods may have to be introduced slowly. Since you puree alot of the foods try blending or mixing different foods with the foods that you know he likes. It may sound gross, or even look gross, but it is something that have worked for me in the past.
A little about me. I am the mother of six. (3 I gave birth to and 3 I married into). My youngest daughter is 14 years old. She is developementally delayed and is dignosed with autism. In her early years she would not eat. I also breastfeed and was concerned at this stage that she was not getting enough to eat. She still doesn't eat finger foods (as I call it) I spent the first five years of her life blending foods and then suddenly she pick up the fork and started eating pancakes!
Your son is only ten months old. Every child developes differently. Does he have any problems picking up other small items and putting it in his mouth? If your answer is no, then no worries. Just keep giving him the opportunity to feed himself and try not to give in to the urge of picking up the spoon and feeding him.
I hope this was helpful to you.
J.,
I am a mother of six (12 yr. old son, 7 yr. old daughter, 5 yr. old triplets, & 18 month old daughter). I think most of my children were eating pureed foods at ten months. The self-feeding sometimes takes longer than that. I think you really don't have to worry.
Sincerely,
K.
Hi J.,
I don't think you have anything to worry about at 10 months. If several months from now you have not seen improvement, it is possible that he has an oral motor skill deficit. Our son did. He spoke quite early but was terrible with solid foods -- wouldn't touch almost any pureed food (and it was all fresh, not from a jar) and only ate strongly flavored solids. He was the only kid I knew who would not eat Cheerios. It turned out that his cheek muscles were weak and that his mouth didn't get the whole move food with your tongue to your molars thing. Foods with strong flavors at least let his brain know he needed to do something, and he ate them. His ped sent us to a feeding clinic, and that helped immensely. However, he was nearly a year and a half at the time. I think your son sounds like he's doing just fine for 10 months. As for refusing to feed himself, is he better with baby sitters? Our son would not hold his own bottle -- for us! Turns out that he held it himself for his babysitter. They're little attention mongers! Anyway, he feeds himself and eats just fine, and I'm sure your son will be just fine, too. He's doing FAR better than our son was at that age, and he was fine in other developmental areas. Just one of those things!
You're doing fine. I don't think there is anything to worry about. Just keep offering food and let him explore it any way he wants to. Some of it will end up in his mouth. My son had only breast milk for his whole first year. Now he is a very good eater.
Hi J.,
Try reading the "Out of Sync Child". It contains lists of food preferences/avoidances that might give you some clues. It also has resources and suggestions.
D.
Mom and Grandma
Retired elementary and early childhood professional
CranioSacral Therapist
they like dips! hummus, and especially cream cheese. give him the entire small tub, keep it as his.. let him dip things, even his fingers... ranch is great too... trader joes honey pretzels (whole wheat) work well...
Hi J.,
Have you talked to your doctor about your sons eating habbits? Does he have trouble with any other motor skills or communication? Is he saying anything yet?
This might be something simple like a picky eater and he will eventually grow out of it, but if he is having trouble in other areas make sure you talk to your doctor.
Children are such a mystery because you can't just ask them what's going on. Remember your not alone and there are other moms out there going through the same thing as you are. Also doctors are there for you and they get paid to answer all of your questions and if you are not satisfied with their answer keep pressing and seek out a second opion or ask to see a specialtist.
Good luck and you are a good mom because you are concerned with what is going on with your child.
J.,
instead of giving him baby food, like the biscut, try some hot dog cut into tiny little pieces, my kids love that at his age. Give him french bread,(cut up of course) Tiny pieces, your dinner like Spaghetti give him the noodles, the hamburger meat.
put the plate in front of him or take pieces from your plate and give it to him, or you can even try putting it in his hand, make him feel like the big kid.
My kids did the same thing, but after a while at the table for whatever meal or snack, they got hungry enought that they ate on there own.
J.,
At this age children are capable of using a spoon or fork although many parents put food in front of their child and just let them pick it up with their hands, which is fine too. Model for him with a utensil and then give him the utensil and let him try. Eventually he will catch on, good luck :)
Each human being from babyhood up is an individual and not a cookie cutout. We all grow at our own pace. I remember thinking," when will my child ever eat, walk, talk, etc.?? Then one day they did and it was all good. Just relax. Your baby will only be a helpless little baby once. He is after all a baby. Just keep feeding him and encouraging him. You're his mommy and he needs you. Try not to hurry his growth along. Just enjoy him for who he is at the moment. One day you will look back with longing to the time when he was a precious little baby.
Hi J. P,
I have a little guy who is just over 10 months and is still learning to eat solids himself too. I have been reading a great book called Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good sense. Its long and involved, but I've found it very helpful! It suggests progressing from pureed foods, to thicker, to lumpy, to soft pieces. And really getting in tune with your baby.. they are all soooo different! :) I also found its helped my little one to really let him get into the food..he loves making a BIG mess. That has helped him get food on his fingers and get it to his mouth eventually! Yay! Its fun and exciting to watch. Now I'll boil veggies and let him smoosh them around. I also peeled then grated apple and pear and boiled those for him to start with small unchokable pieces. I wish you all the best of luck!
J. Wilcox
I would not worry about it. My daugher is 2 years old and probably begun feeding herself consistantly at about 18 months. She was very finicky in transitioning to "people-foods" and took a long time to learn to finger feed. The pediatrician said that by a year to 18 months of age, she should be on all normal adult foods, but I still occasionally give her the Gerber stage 3 foods. As far as I'm concerned, the most important thing is that your child grows and develops well and is healthy. I have not seen a 7 year old go to school and not feed him/herself! So the feeding (just like all other developmental milestones) will happen when the child is ready and not a day before. Every child has his/her own rate at developing and some develop faster in one field and slower in others, and that does not make them any better or worse, just different! As an example, my daughter didn't begin walking until she was 16 months but she started talking at 10 months! So just keep offering the finger foods more for entertainment and practice, but don't push him. Also, it may be helpful to have him eat with the rest of the family - sometimes modeling is amazing.
When you give him food to eat on his own do you walk away and do other things?
He could want your attention. After all, meal time should be a pleasant father togetherness thing. Try sitting down and eating food with him. Then he'll see how it's done and still get that closeness with you without having you feed him.
And you know, many kids don't figure it out at ten months. And that's okay.
If your baby has some sensitivity to textures etc, keep an eye on it. You may want to make a big effort to increase his "sensory diet" not just at mealtime, but also with other things he can touch. So, mealtime isn't just making sure he's fed (you're going to have to feed him whatever can nourish him that he will tolerate), but also make it into a playtime where you "experiment" with different textures together and name them for him. You'll have to demonstrate. I suggest you sit right in front of him with good strong eye contact and make it into a game with lots of laughing. You can "reward" him with the puree he wants. For example, let's say Cheerios..."okay, baby, let's do CRUNCHY!" Repeat the word and you show CRUNCHY. Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Then, give him a turn. He's not going to repeat the word, but he can "crunch" the Cheerio in his mouth. Be sure you cheer and make a HUGE deal out of it. You'll be adding an element of interaction into the eating game that may distract him while his body is getting used to the feeling of the new foods. When he does it, he gets a spoonful of puree. Try a few textures at first and then add to it as appropriate. You can experiment with soft things like a cooked potato wedge, something that has some solidity that you can pull from his mouth if it looks like he just can't chew it.
As for feeding himself, he'll get the idea with time. Some kids don't catch on to this action right away.
Try not to worry and continue to offer solids. I have a 17 year old who was never able to eat anything but purees. Anything with chunks he would gag and throw up. We continued with purees until he very slowly progressed with solids. I beleive he was almost two before he gave up purees. He eats everything in sight now. :) You can also try a bowl and a spoon with the dry cereal. It makes it more interesting and with time he will master those skills. You can also let him try to feed himself purees as he gets older. Messy but fun. I have 3 children and two granchildren. My 19 month old Grandchild enjoys her yogurt on her own and we have a lot of fun putting cheerios on the spoon with the yogurt. Good Luck and remember eating is fun time not stress time and both of you will be great!
Most 10 month olds do feed themselves (messily, with their hands). This is the age of the pincer-grip where they start to use the index finger and thumb....
I tend to think that at this point it's note-worthy that your child's not interested in feeding himself, but not something to feel alarmed about. Just notice it and "be curious" and observative. The range of what is developmentally normal is VERY wide.
I also think it's good for you to trust your gut. Sometimes moms have a feeling that something is not quite right and sometimes that turns out to be true. If you gut is telling you that it's worrisome, ask your pediatrician about it.
Don't know if this advise will work but how about allowing him to watch you feed yourself cheerios so that he mimics what you are doing. Also try serving yourselves a small enough portion at a time that you can finish before he gets bored from eating. Maybe this will show him he is supposed to finish everything that is on his plate!
Hi J..
I am a grandmother, and auntie to many nieces/nephews. Have babysat hundreds of times for nieces/nephews, and the grandkids over the past 10-15 yrs.
Have experience with little ones~~ right now twin nephews, boys age 2, and another grest-nephew, age 14 months.
The mothers of these boys are quite different.Mom of the twins is an older mother, stay at home, who has time to make "healthy" food choices for the boys, ie: fresh Sweet potatoes, avocado and cheese sandwiches, homemade soups,fresh fruits, and very active with ehr boys. Her boys are great eaters, love food, and have been "feeding themselves" since about 10 months. They always sit in high chair for their meals, mom is very consistent with that, but they can have snacks, juice, during "snack time", or while at the park and on the go.
The 14 month old is quite different. Mom works 3 days a week. Doesn't cook much at all.Buys jarred baby food, does not have child sit in high chair, or any other chair for that matter, to eat. habits are very inconsistent. has a lot of teeth but gags a lot because doesnt chew up food.Doesnt mean mom's a bad mom, she is I would say, lazy when it comes to cooking. Her child is very small, And I feel, very underweight. He loves to eat,but he is not eating very healthy.He gets cheerios, a cracker,or baby puffs at home for his "feed self" foods at home. At my house he eats cooked apples, freshly made oatmeal, scrambled eggs with cheese, toast,pieces of sandwich(cut up small), fresh fruit, veggies. He loves to feed himself, but also likes to be fed. I wouldnt worry about it just yet. Lots of babies eat BETTER being fed-because as we know, they can drop a lOT of food off their spoons :), and WE can put it in their mouth faster than they can(usually! lol) I would start to slowly give him a spoon, let HIM fill it and eat, but you still feed him too. Pretty soon he will want to ALways feed himself, no matter if it's finger food or otherwise. When kids get the idea that they CAN do it, they will, trust me on this.As far as texture, trying adding a little milk or juice if it's a new food or the consistency is different. he may like it better that way to start.
just my 4 cents...not an expert, but lots of experience with little people :)
About Me- Mother and grandma
retired from medical field
Hi J.,
I have a so called "picky" eater who used to throw a fit if I did not feed her. I found that what worked for me was to leave a few cheerios on a small table. I left her free to snack at her convenience and gave her lots of praise when she did it on her own. At 10 months a child already has learned how to catch your attention. As for the soft food, let her enjoy the texture by showing her how to dip her finger in and take a taste. Another thing that worked was giving her a spoon and having a spoon of my own. I would give her a bite and encourage her to use her spoon to give herself a bite. Sometimes, they get so excited they will give you a bite as well!
You are going to hear this over and over again, but it's true. It's a phase. My daughter went through something very similar. She wouldn't eat anything solid (not even pureed food) until she was a year old. Then it was like someone flipped the switch. She is now 20 months and won't eat anything I try to feed her, but will eat the exact same thing if she feeds it to herself. It's a phase. They like to do the things they like to do when and how they want to do them. Great, isn't it? Hope this was helpful.
You are doing fine and he's OK too. He will learn eventually - everyone does. Some kids do it early and some later; some in between. Your best bet is to be as relaxed as possible about his food and eating. If he is more interested in playing then self feeding, let him play. The only time I'd worry is if it were driving you nutty to feed him. In that case I would give him plenty of time to feed himself but if he doesn't; just clean up the food and move on. As for pureed foods, I think it is basically the same deal. Some like them; some don't. Neither of my kids would touch puree so we skipped that step. Purreed food won't hurt him -- even if he eats it for years (but he won't). THey don't really ever finish food - and that is OK too. Much better than cleaning his plate if you think of the long term view; you want your kid to be relaxed and easy going about food and not to eat too much or worry about eating. As long as he is growing; you are doing fine.
I'm in the exact same situation! I just give her finger foods during mealtimes (cooked broccoli florets & carrot rounds) and I just believe that eventually she'll figure it out. She does eat teething biscuits from time to time, and is eating more textured foods like rice and chicken in her pureed foods. She also loves melon rinds - I scoop the meat out and give her what's left on the rind to chew on.
every baby grows and learns at their own rate. bring it up to your doctor and see if they have any suggestions. could be a picky eater. was he an early delivery at birth? are all of his other motor skills on track? they all have their own learning curve. 10 months i can't see it being a concern. i've had 3 kids and they each did things in their own time. try feeding him fingers foods before a bottle/nursing. maybe he's just not hungry? and that would make him play with the food. once they realize it's food and not a toy, trust me, he will eat it all!
