Would a Toddler & 'Newborn' Sleep Well in the Same Room?

Updated on July 23, 2009
J.W. asks from North Charleston, SC
19 answers

Hi Moms,
I am expecting my second child and am undecided whether to place them in their own separate rooms or have them share the a room, do you have a recommendation? I expect the 2nd child to sleep with us for about the first 2-3 months as we did with our first but then either have the 2 kids share a room or have their own. My concern with sharing a room is that one will wake the other in the middle of the night and I will be stuck with 2 awake children during crazy hours. My thought with sharing a room is it may strengthen the 'bonding' process. Any ideas/recommendations?

Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your responses. I have decided to try and put the children together. We did start preparing the second nursery so if it does not work to have them in the same room then it would be an easy transition for us to get the newest addition into their own room. Thanks again everyone for your input :o)

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S.C.

answers from Portland on

I didn't have a choice as we only have a 2 bedroom place. I now have 3 kids and they all still share a room. Its crowded, but I never had a problem with them waking each other up... even when one was a baby and one a toddler. They'd sleep right thru it.

In fact, when it was just my oldest daughter and my son was a baby and he would cry as I was putting them to bed, my daughter would just start singing to him. He'd stop crying and usually fall asleep within 2 or 3 songs. It was the best thing I ever did.

That was 8 years ago, and they are still sharing a room. For siblings, (all 3) there is very little fighting and they play very well together.

We will be moving next month into a 3 bedroom home and giving my oldest her own room. The other 2 don't want her to leave because they love sharing a room with her. They'll get used to it, but its a little funny to hear them complain that they DON'T get to share a room with her.

Good luck! It should work out just fine.
S.

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P.S.

answers from Portland on

I have a 3 1/2 yr old and 6 month old that share a room. It works great. If one wakes up the other seems to keep sleeping unless it gets really loud but it seems like the other just wants to see what is going on and goes right back to sleep. Good luck with number 2.

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

We're in a similar position and plan to keep the kiddos sleeping in seperate rooms. If the older asks for baby to room-in, then we'll consider that and try it out. Since mine will be tandem nursing, I'm pretty comfortable with how they'll bond. I think even without tandem nursers, it's very reasonable for them to bond during play and as they get older. It doesn't all have to happen in the first year.

Safety wise, if the older one understands not to put toys or blankets in the crib with the baby, then maybe. If you're not sure if they understand that then I wouldn't take the risk.

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M.M.

answers from Seattle on

I was concerned about the waking up part too. My doctor encouraged me to go ahead and try it. I did and she was right, there is a little adjustment period. The baby learns to sleep through the toddler noise and vice versa. It has worked out well for us, except that we know now that if we decide to separate them later (4 yr old and 2 yr old now) there will be another adjustment period for them getting used to sleeping without the other one in the room.

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi J.,
We have 2 boys (17 months and
2.5 years). For the first 5 months we all slept in the same room because our firstborn has health issues. However, after that, we decided to try them together without us. We were also apprehensive about them waking each other up. What we hve found is that they seem to get really used to each other's cries and don't react to them very quickly. Do we have nightmare nights where they are both fussing and wake each other up? Sure,we do. But it is not the norm and I will tell you, the best part of all is hearing them wake up every morning over the baby monitor, listening as they chatter at each other for quite awhile before the ever start fussing to get up.

I believe it does bond them and I love that they share a room.

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

I realize this isn't a direct answer to your question, but I think life is so much simpler if you just get a big bed and sleep with the whole family!

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J.R.

answers from Seattle on

I think that things will depend on your children, at least in part. I have two kids (boy who is 3.5, girl who is 5 months). They have been sharing a bedroom since the beginning, and it has been absolutely fine. I wouldn't say that it necessarily increases their bonding, but we didn't have another space for the baby...She wakes up one time each night, and I hear here before my son does (thank you monitor) - get her, take her out to the playroom and feed her, and she goes back to bed...he usually wakes her in the morning.

Works fine for us...

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

--what a good question, Jennifer-- I've seen it go both ways. My suggestion is to put them together initially but talk a lot about ''' getting baby's other room ready''' . That way- if it seems to be not working- you have set the stage for bby to have their own room. The negative effect??? A dear friend of mine had to have her two girls together until the baby was almost 3. Not only did the nighttime get crazy- but so did nap time - as she'd be really cross with the older child to avoid the two babies keeping each other awake at naptime--- the same issues were in place for cousins - who had to share a room. If it works for you--- fabulous- but if not- be sure you have your fall back position in place.

Blessings,
J. aka - Old Mom

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J.L.

answers from Corvallis on

We always had our babies sleep with us for the first 6-8 weeks, then move he/she into the same room as sibling. My first and second children are 3 1/2 yrs (3yrs and 6yrs difference with each new sibling) apart and cant think of any time that the younger woke the older in the middle of the night, and no problems really after that with the others. I would bring the baby into my room and tend to her/him so we didnt wake the other. As the baby got older and tending to them in the midle of the night lessened I would tryto take care of the baby's need in their room as long as the baby wasnt crying. I always kept a nightlight on so I can see without waking the other.

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K.L.

answers from Spokane on

I think you've answered your own question.

"My concern with sharing a room is that one will wake the other in the middle of the night and I will be stuck with 2 awake children during crazy hours"

When they are older and both sleeping through the night then I would consider putting them in the same room if need be.

good luck and sleep tight :-)

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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

I had those same thoughts and issues when my two were that young. In the beginning of the two of them sharing a room the youngest woke up the oldest but it took about a month for the oldest to realize that just because the baby was up didn't mean she had to be too. It also took a little longer than that for her to actually learn how to sleep through the baby. They've shared a room ever since I brought DS home and almost three years later they're going strong. They are bonded like nothing else I've seen but I can't attest to it being because they've shared a room though they do have a language all their own.

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S.H.

answers from Seattle on

Jennifer,
I'm a mom of 4, the oldest two of which are 14.5 months apart. As long as your toddler is on a sleep schedule you should be fine. Mine were great. He (the older) would sleep all night and she (baby) would only wake once or twice. The sweetest part was finding them together in her crib (when she was old enough to be sitting) playing quietly in the mornings. He was a little climber, but he loved being a big brother and taking care of her so that's where he put his focus when he climbed out of his own bed. So sweet. Have fun. You only live it once.

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J.C.

answers from Medford on

You got a lot of great advice. Just wanted to echo Danielle J. and say that it takes a little extra planning. My boys just turned 3 and 1, and have shared a room since the beginning. We still need to remember to pull out extra diapers or clothing for when the youngest wakes first from naps, etc. If you have a spot in your room or family room for a few things that will make it easier. They don't seem to wake eachother except on temper tantrum nights. Two words: Sound Machine!!! Seems to drown out alot of little noises and is pleasant for mom too!
And by the way, the boys love eachother, but I'm sure they would regardless. I made the choice to room them partly because of the wonderful experience I had sharing a room with my brother who was 19 months younger. I don't think we would be as close as we are now if it had not been for sharing a room as kids.

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D.H.

answers from Seattle on

My boys shared a room from the time they were little. It didin't seem to cause a problem. I, like you, kept baby in my bedroom for a few months. Unless your older one is a light sleeper, the baby most likely won't wake him. They learn to sleep through this stuff. In any case, if you are concerned, try it out for a week or 2 and if it isn't working, then split the pair. I think sharing a room teaches the kids to compromise and work together from a yound age. I've had 6 kids and they have all shared at some point.

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D.J.

answers from Seattle on

I understand your concerns because I had the same questions too. My two little ones share a room. They are about 21 months apart. But I didn't move them into the same room until my baby was sleeping through the night for the most part. It took a few nights to figure it out, I had to change up the routine a bit since my baby would go to sleep first before my toddler then I would have to make sure I had everything out of the room for my toddler to prepare him for bed and do stories and everything in the family room and then only let him enter the room when he was ready for bed. It ended working pretty well. They got used to it too and seemed to sleep through the other if they ever woke up in the middle of the night.

Your children may be different, but if you do decide to put them in the same room just give it a few nights to figure it out. It may not work perfectly the first night.

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V.R.

answers from Portland on

Hi Jennifer,
I have 5 kiddos, and they've all pretty much shared rooms. My second was probably about 3 months old before moving into the same room. Most were probably sleeping through the night by 2 - 3 months. My youngest is turning one next month and I just moved her in with her sisters. It's no problem because she sleeps through the night. It took longer with her because she shared our room for so long and I would nurse her to sleep and when she woke. Once I started to put her down in her own bed at night instead of nursing her to sleep in my bed, she began sleeping through the night after a few days.
Hope all goes well. I would give it a try at least. My kids usually slept through any baby crying.

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C.B.

answers from Portland on

My suggestion is to do what works best for you. My daughter likes to sleep in her toddler bed in our room because her room is a bit far away. As she gets older we will move her toddler bed to her room.

All I have to say is try what gets everyone the most sleep. I would have kept her in my room sooner and not let her sleep in her crip so much in the beginning if I would have realized I would have gotten more sleep having her in the room with me.

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

My kids are 2 yrs apart and have shared a room since the youngest was 6 wks old.
Do you think the oldest is a sound sleeper? yOu don't want them waking to the littlest noise. We bought an air purfier and it helps cover some noises and reduces the diaper smell.
Most times there aren't problems to sharing but some nights I do have both awake at the same time. Then I sit beside the toddlers bed while I nurse the baby back to sleep.

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Z.A.

answers from Seattle on

Wherever you plan on nursing in the middle of the night.

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