Why!!!!!

Updated on October 18, 2006
J.S. asks from Portage, MI
10 answers

Ok my son who is 16 months old is in this BIG habit of throwing everything from food to toys to whatever he can get his hands on, when he throws the toys he makes sure he throws it at you.. i dont know how to teach him at his age that throwing things is not ok and he cant do that.. even with the food how in the world can i teach him i mean hes probably smarter then i think but i have went as far as taking the toys away or when hes throwing food i tell him no not to do that or just end up taking him down from the highchair...i am lost can anyone help....

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H.A.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I know what you mean!!! My son is now 19mos, but he still loves to throw. We've gotten him balls, and stuff like a basketball hoop for him to throw stuff in. Also, they're testing you! I can see it in my sons face!!! You need to be strong, and you need to be CONSISTANT. I wouldn't take my son down from the high chair, I would just take the food away from him. I would give it back and take it away until he would stop throwing. Every kids is different, so I can't say this will work, but I do know you need to be consistant!!!

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B.H.

answers from Columbus on

I completely agree with Lisa K. You are the parent and you have to show your son that you are in control and that misbehavior will not be tolerated. I have a 5 year old son who tried that when he was a toddler and don't get me wrong, he's no angel now, but he's not destructive, mean or hurtful to anyone.

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L.K.

answers from Dayton on

Hi,
Now, I don't have boys yet! I'm due with my third child which is a boy. BUT I lived next door to a young mom with two boys the same age as my kids. 1 and 3 years old at the time. Destructive like you wouldn't believe. What I noticed about them, they wanted to get their mother's attention. She was always on the phone or always cleaning, and they would break things or throw things to get her attention. They loved to watch her go "fetch" everything all the time, and even if she was yelling at them, at least it was at THEM! At 16 months, they are testing you to see what they can get away with. They need a negative reation at that age to things that are bad. I don't think a slap on the hand and a firm "NO!" is really that big of a deal. There are people who do, of course. But it works. Do this, and this is going to happen. And you won't like it. I only had to do it a couple of times with my girls, and when they acted up, they would get a look from me that stopped them in their tracks. Also, praise. Praise works great when they do things right. Make a REALLY BIG DEAL when he doesn't throw something, or stops when you say to stop/tell him no. Trust me, it will only get worse with age if you don't set a precedence now. By the age of 3, they'll go toe to toe with you if they think they can do what they want without consequences.
Of course, a thousand books will disagree with me, but I'm going by what I've experienced and what works for me.

Good luck!!!
L.

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A.C.

answers from Dayton on

At that age, my daughter understood emotions. And the best tactic that worked for me was teaching sympathy. I told her that it hurt my feelings when she threw things at me. And if it upset me or made me sad, I told her and made an over dramatic face to show her how it made me feel. I'm sure I said a lot, "hitting/throwing hurts, please don't hurt me" and after a while, it stuck. I also don't tolerate her being agressive with toys either (like being mean to her baby dolls/stuffed animals). And if she makes a mess (like throws food) she cleans it up. At that age, I'm sure he'd be more of a helper while you clean up the food, but at least get into the habit of making him responsible for his actions. That's all the advice I can think of! Good luck :-)

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S.

answers from Cleveland on

I am no Dr. Phil but I had the same problem with my oldest and he would throw himself on the floor. I called my mother one day at a loss of what to do and she told me to walk away from him and ignore the behavior. For me, it worked but every child is individual. It's probably that he's getting attention for being bad and that's what he wants.
To this day I can look back at this child and he's been a challenge up until his present age of 20! Good luck~

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K.D.

answers from Detroit on

Well, I have three girls and my youngest is 15 months and she throws things too. I have found that distracting her with music or some other fun activity will stop the throwing spells. Try playing whatever music your son likes and if that doesn't work, try Noggin or PBS Sprout, those two channels also catch her interest and will stop her from throwing stuff. Good luck!!

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Definitly the age! They can understand more than they can communicate. Saying things like "please don't throw." And then showing him how to roll a ball across the floor or give him something else to do may work.

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H.G.

answers from Canton on

My Daughter is 21 months and still likes to throw things, but don't lose hope! When she throws things (food especially) I put her down and have her pick it up. We don't play or watch TV until it is cleaned up. Consistency is key in all aspects of parenting!

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J.C.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I have a 13 month old daughter. When she throws things we generally give her another chance or two to not throw it. If she continues to do so we take it away. It's a little different with the food, but we're hoping that it will work with the toys.

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A.C.

answers from Saginaw on

Hi,
I have the same issues with my 19 month old son. When he throws at the table we say "no throw or down you go". It was a game at first but now he knows that we will put him down (for bad dinner manners) and he hates it. As for the toys we say "ouch no throw" and hold the toy for a little bit. I have had to put some toys away because he has a really good arm and excellent aim. I think that at this age they are always testing us and the goal is to stay consistant. My son throws fits when we take his toys away but I see that as he understands what is going on. We always give them back like 20 minutes later. It is frustrating sometimes but he will grow out of it. We also have a little basketball hoop that he plays with. We show him that it is okay to throw at that but not at us. Hope this helps!

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