Which Elementary School Would You Choose .... So Confusing!

Updated on February 11, 2015
M.M. asks from Chicago, IL
21 answers

I am not sure anymore .... every school I like has some drawback!

I have found one school which is very good (lets call it School AA) and I liked it a lot too. I think my son will do great there! But it's a 10-15 min drive from home. We are considering moving soon, and I looked for rentals in the school area but nothing that we like. The houses are smaller and very old , outdated appliances(we will be renting). Or the houses are huge and not in our budget.

I found a really nice house in a different area , School AA is a 15 mins drive from the new house we have found. The default homeschool is good, but I wasn't as impressed. The school bus is available only for the homeschool.

There are other good schools near the new house.I liked one school there too(School BB) but they have only a 30 minute recess(10 mins for lunch and 20 mins outdoor play). 10 mins for lunch sounds ridiculous. My son is a very slow eater.

So what should I do?
Forget the new house we have found, which we like a lot. And keep looking for houses in the preferred school neighbourhood. (chances of findiing in that area is low). And I have a new baby coming in may, so march is an ideal time to move,

Decide on the house first, and drive 15 mins. I will be spending a lot of time in the car twice a day with a newborn.Would that be crazy? I have seen really long lines during drop off and pick ups at school. So close to an hour in the car, twice a day, 5 days a week!

Or is the 30 minute recess time ok? Shall I go with School BB that is closer to the new home,which is a very good school. But then my son might not eat anything all day and always come home hungry :(

What should be my priority and what should I compromise on? I am so confused! I want my son to go to a really nice school , want him to get atleast 20 mins for lunch, I love the new home we have found - we might not find a house as big as that in any other area. It's really beautiful. The current house we are renting is a smaller townhome , I need more space, an extra bedroom for my son when the baby comes.

What would you do in this situation? Advice please!

Thanks in advance!

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Thanks to all for your inputs. Really helpful!

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

I think a big factor is you're renting vs buying... How long is the lease? What are odds you buy eventually in one area vs the other? A rental can end quickly...

2 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Did you ask the people at school BB what happens if a child is a slow eater and needs more time to eat? 10 minutes seems a little crazy to M.. Personally, I would choose a house where my child can take a bus or walk to school and I don't need to drive him. I think the most important thing is how are the academics at that school and how are the test scores. Then I would talk with my son about how he needs his lunch for energy and work with him on eating his sandwich faster. I would work with him on teaching him not to socialize at lunch but to focus on eating.

1 mom found this helpful

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T.Y.

answers from Boston on

Buy the house you love. Talk to school BB - ask how they handle a slow eater. I am sure school BB has experienced a slow eater. BTW, your child will eat more quickly with recess after lunch. There is no better incentive.

I have a ton of experience with older kids in school and younger kids at home. Our school is very close to our house and I am thankful for the short distance everyday. Think: driving in winter weather, making a second trip to school with forgotten backpacks, forgotten lunches. When you have 2 kids in school, they may have different pick up times due to after school clubs. A short commute to school makes life much easier.

And I think you should always love the house you live in.
Best,
T. Y
SAHM of 5
(14, 13, 7, 5 & 3)

5 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

Find your house and go with the school in that district. You are overthinking this.

5 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I'd drive the extra time for the school you want. 30 minutes, as I replied in your other question, is definitely a short lunch break.

We walk to school and it's about the same amount of time to get there. 15 minutes... Kiddo loves to see his friends on the way to school.

Have you considered parking a few blocks away during drop off and then just getting out and walking your kid in, instead of dealing with the carpool line? Is that possible? Because if it is, think about how much time and gas you would be saving just by getting baby out of the car for a minute or two, throw baby in a carrier/sling and just walk him in. It will be a nice transition, you may get a chance to meet more parents (which means more playdates) and you start developing community. Just a thought.... If I did pick up and drop off in a car, I'd likely miss out on a lot of new friends and a lot of information that just sort of floats around during those before/after school conversations.

5 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

This is what I have learned about children and their schools.
If the parents are involved in their children's education, their children overall will do just fine. You and or dad read to your child every night and have them read to you every night. Make sure your son can sit and work on a puzzle for about 5 minutes alone, work up to 10 minutes if possible. .

Once your child is in school, you and dad volunteer on campus. The library, the offices, volunteer for the field trips. You will learn all about the school, but also the teachers and staff will recognize you are interested in the education all of the children are receiving. Ask him about his school day with direct questions. Who did you p,sy with at recess. What book is teacher reading to the class? Who did you sit next to at lunch?

Make sure your home is a happy and encouraging home. If you are happy and secure your child will be too.

And start working with your child to pick up the pace on his eating. Slow eaters sometimes are just distracted. No tv while eating. Try not to ask him too many questions while he eats his lunch, let your drawn out meals be during dinner.

Allow your son to help make meals, to help make his lunches. He needs to practice using a lunch box, how to unwrap a sandwich, open a juice box, milk carton, ziploc bags, Tupperware, pudding it fruit cup. Have him use a small tray to carry things from the kitchen to the table. Or in a fast food place, let him carry his meal on a tray.

This will mean start doing some "fine motor skill" exercises. Google it.

Your son will be fine at whatever school he attends, because you are going to have a positive attitude about it and you are going to make education a priority in your home, with your positive, involved, encouraging attitude.

5 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i think it's a huge mistake to choose a house based solely on the school. schools can change overnight. when we moved here our elementary school was excellent (that's not why we chose the house, though.) today the kids are crammed into temp classrooms, have to slog through the elements to get to the cafeteria and gym, and interestingly the relentless testing has caused the test scores to tank.
buy the house you love, and drive your kid to school. 15 minutes twice a day will just become your routine. surely your kid is worth it.
khairete
S. (who lives half an hour from everything)

4 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Get a house and put kiddo in the neighborhood school and be done with it.

4 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Where I live a LOT of people drive more than 15 minutes to get to work or school, it's not undoable. My husband used to drive 2 hours one way without traffic, 3 if there was traffic, for work. So if the school my kid wanted to go to was 15 minutes away and it was doable for M., that's where they would go.

We are in the same boat actually and my kids could go to the other school because of where my parents live, but I can't make that drive because of my work hours. My husband could right now, but when he goes back to work the kids would have no way of getting to and from school. But if it was an option for us, absolutely.

4 moms found this helpful
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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would be far more focused on academics than how much time is allotted for lunch and recess.

4 moms found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

which is a priority to you, education or a home?

In Fairfax County, if you put your child in a school outside your home-school, you are responsible for transportation to and from - EVEN IF you are putting your child in a language immersion program. And to do that?? You MUST have an extenuating circumstance in order to put your child in a different school, i.e. work, daycare.

So are you SURE that you will be allowed to put your child in ANY school you want without exception??

If you value the size/space of a home and are willing to drive Monday through Friday with an infant through, ice, snow, and wind? Go with the house and enroll her in your choice school.

Keep in mind nothing is perfect. Have you checked the school out on http://www.greatschools.net?

Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

I would absolutely drive the extra 15 minutes for a better school.

4 moms found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Fifteen minutes is nothing. Our closest elementary school is 6-7 minutes away. How big a deal is an extra 8 minutes? My son's daycare and then his preschool were both 17 minutes away. I would no way consider this to be a commute. I would also find out how rapidly the drop off and pick up lines really move. An efficient school can get a child dropped off or picked up in well under 5 minutes.

Also - you are going to be getting out of the house with the new baby anyway, right? Will the 15 minute drive in the direction of the school also put you near where you would be heading - the park, coffee shop or wherever you will be going?

3 moms found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

I would pick the house and go with the assigned school. The long drive/wait during drop off with a new born and the short outdoor playtime would cancel the other two off the list for M..

I agree with Suz and Laurie's points too, schools change and being involved in your kiddos education makes a bigger difference than any school structure.

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Chicago on

My vote is the "best" house and the "best" school (whichever you believe are best). We live in Chicago, our kids are now in high school, and we have always had to commute to school (and before that to daycare as I've always worked full time out of the home). I think a 15 minute commute can be done just fine. You don't mention a spouse or partner - is it possible for that person to drop off your son in the morning? I have always chosen the best school within a reasonable commute and now my kids are at one if the top high schools in the state (a magnet school). Good luck (and congrats on the new baby). Not an easy decision but you'll make the best choice for your kids and family.

3 moms found this helpful
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N.S.

answers from Denver on

I don't know how it is in Chicago but here in Jefferaon County; suburb of Denver Colo, all of the schools have different philosophies and teaching methods. We have our 'home' school but we can attempt to 'option' into other schools; if they have room and our number is chosen in the lottery for that school.

I would suggest looking at schools that you would want both your son and upcoming baby to go to. At that point you can then look at housing 'in district.' Good luck

2 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Sometimes choice is overwhelming. I did at one point consider a magnet school for my DD but she didn't get in and it was at least a 20 min. drive daily. I will say that with my DD being an infant when SD was in HS, we did manage OK with the pickups in the afternoon (after clubs). DD just learned to be a good little traveler and I did things like let her play at a park while we waited. I would see what the parking is like and if you could park and walk in and not be stuck in that traffic circle that long. I still walk in to get DD and park on a side street for easy exit. Also, are the long lines really that long? Our school is very efficient getting kids out of the car. I would go there and time a car from start to exit to see what the reality is, if you otherwise like the school.

RE: Lunch, my DD talks too much, so I give her easy food from home to get her through the afternoon and then she eats the remains of her lunch for afternoon snack. No, 10 mins is not long. Is it truly just 10? My DD gets half an hour for lunch and not sure how long recess is this year.

And while I understand needing space, if this is not something you can accomplish in the timeframe you have, you can do things like keep baby in your room for a while and have them share. My sister's kids are sharing a room because they weren't able to sell their home as expected.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I suggest you make 2 lists. One for positive reasons and one for negatives. Then go thru the lists and think how the disadvantages could be fixed. Consider what is important to you.

First off I see you're concerned about a 10 minute lunch. I suggest that the school will manage the time so that your son has enough to eat. He won't be the first child to eat slowly. I did playground duty and noticed that there were always a few kids who stayed in the cafeteria to finish their lunch before going to the playground. Losing play time is an incentive to eat more quickly.

If I had a new baby and a school age child I would want the shortest commute. What would be the most important would be living in the house I like the most. You'll spend most of your time in that house. Your son will only be in school a few hours a day.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

Are you sure it's 10 minutes for lunch?! A 30 minute recess is fine, but I can't imagine kids getting through a lunch line, let alone eating, in 10 minutes.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Moving when you're not sure of your priorities is not ideal. You can make a costly mistake, so if you don't have to rush into it, I wouldn't. We rushed into a move once, and moved again 5 years later. We hadn't thought long term.

Schools - don't just consider elementary school, think do I like the middle school and high school too - and where are these located?

Area - if you are commuting to school, you will also probably be driving a lot for play dates with kids from school, and this gets to be more challenging the older they get. My sister ran into that - her kids commuted to school, and so did their friends (from another direction) so she spent her weekends as a taxi service.

House - we lived in a house we didn't love - it never felt like home. Pick a house you feel will be a home. That's important. And pick a house that can grow with you. We outgrew our old home and spent a lot of money trying to make it work. Think down the road of what your needs will be.

If you're not rushed, and you have an area in mind, a house will turn up at some point. You may have to compromise. We had our preferred area with schools we liked, but it was out of our budget. So eventually, a house came on the market that needed updating (it's just very dated). We loved the home, saw potential, and it's been worth it to us to take our time and update it. Now we love our home, neighborhood and schools.

I also think if you live near the school, you become part of the community faster - you meet families through after school activities and sports that also live nearby.

Good luck :)

1 mom found this helpful
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B.S.

answers from Boston on

Send him to the school you think he will do the best at, be happy and love school. If that means driving him 15-min. I think you can do that. I wasn't sure if you were planning to rent or buy this new house that is 15-min. from the AA school?? If it's renting that might be better, because a house just might pop up that is closer to your first choice school. As for the school with the 30-min. lunch, I think that would be okay as well because your son would adjust to the schedule, often we as parents make more out of these things than necessary. He will also have a snack time.

One thing I can tell you, I'm so thankful we bought our house in the town with the school that we wanted our son to go to, it's a good safe school and I don't have to worry about him the way I would if he were elsewhere. Our house may not be as big or new as I'd like, but the trade-off of having him at the good school is more than worth it!

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