When to Give up Santa

I have always told my children that the "Santa Claus" that is so popular today was not real. That he is a symbol of one of the reasons of Christmas. The Symbol of giving and not receiving. We also discuss the real St. Nicholas and what he did for people at the Christmas Holidays. My kids still enjoy sitting on Santa's lap at the mall, but they know it is all in fun. Now the tooth Fairy - that's another story...I still believe in the tooth fairy (even though it is myself/my mother doing the job for her). ;) To combat the little "lie", well, you need to sit her down and explain that Santa Clause is real..he was a real person way back when, what he did, and what he symbolizes. THen you need to explain that the Santa Claus as we know him is a fantastical version of him. BUt that does not make it any less magical, she can still believe on the magic if she wants to.

Hope this helps
C.

By showing her that Santa does exist, you will prove to her that you're not a liar. When it's time for her to know, get a couple angel's off the angel tree (for kids who are low income). Let your daughter help pick out the gifts and wrap them and go with you to drop them off.
Mom never told me that Santa wasn't real. This is just how my mom showed me that Santa isn't a jolly fat man in a red and white suit, but it's people who care about others and share what they have so that everyone has a magical Christmas. And sometimes it's a divorced mother who works too hard but still manages to share what she has with unfortunate kids.
It became a tradition with mom an I to go shopping together for the Angel Kids. I got to pick out the gifts and wrap them up and mom always bought a whole lot more then was on the list. It would say something like 1 sleeper for a baby and baby toys. Mom would buy at least 6 outfits to go along with it and throw in baby care products along with the toys and anything else she thought they could use. It's the generosity that your daughter will remember and every Christmas she will remember the real meaning of Christmas.
Of course, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny are totally different LOL.

hi i dont really have a responce but we arent going to let our daughter believe in the tooth fairy, santa or the easter bunny we are going to teach her the truth of christmas and easter etc...we dont want her to know lying is ok thats why we arent going to tell her lies...but when i was a kid i believed in it all till i was 7-8 something like that..then i saw my mom and dad put the presents under the tree etc..i wish i could help...good luck and let us know what you decide to do..

Dear A.,

I'm 50. Just don't let her believe as long as I did. I was 11 when they finally told me because I always said, "My parents wouldn't lie to me". I felt really stupid.

This was always a hard question for me! I'm 40 and STILL believe in Santa! We have three children who are 17, 13 and 3. Our answer to "is he real?" about Santa, Easter Bunney is "It's only as real as you believe" or "if you believe, he's real" Our children have always been good with that and at my boys ages they know but at home, maybe just for me, they go right along with it! I personally think kids grow up too fast now and letting them believe in the good thing in life is not a bad thing! Our boys love to help with Santa/Easter Bunny for their little sister and love watching the magic in her eyes when she finds her gifts.

Yikes, that's a tough one. When my daughters came to me with that question, I did the same thing you did. When they asked again (and they always do) I told them that Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, etc. are real, and they rely on mommies and daddies to help them because there are so many children in the world. That's one of the reasons parents are special - no other adult gets to help Santa but parents.

As my girls became older, Santa became the representation of the spirit of Christmas - the joy of giving and sharing with others you love.

Hi, A. ~
Your daughter really put you in a tough spot there, & I think that ~ if given time ~ you may have responded differently. She seemed to be emphasizing her need for you to be honest w/her, which you weren't b/c she caught you off-guard.
I think a better response would be "What do you think?" or "He's real if you believe."
By flatly saying "Yes" you've put her in the position of returning to school & confronting that boy with "Santa IS real; my Mommy said so!" You don't want her getting teased or being heartbroken when she learns the truth.
I wouldn't bring it up again until SHE does (which, by the way, she WILL), but the next time I wouldn't flat out lie. That's not teaching by example or showing the true meaning of the Holiday Season.
Kids are only young for a brief time & as parents we want to keep that Special & Magical, but they're growing up faster nowdays.
We have 3 children ~ 4, 8 & 10. I've never told them Santa was either real or not ... just asked them what they believed. Every Christmas morning there's a "Surprise" under the tree ... where they decide that came from is up to their Imaginations.
I like the suggestion from one of the moms a/b the Angel Tree. My kids have always gone w/me to purchase those items, and we've referred to ourselves as that family's "Secret Santa." I don't know that they've made the connection, but we've done our best.
My 10 year old has caught on ... the year she was 8, my husband & I woke up on Christmas morning to a LETTER FROM SANTA telling us "Thank you" for the cookies & that our little girl really deserved her presents b/c he'd been watching & she'd been perfect (PS: the boys were good, too). I TREASURE that letter to this day!
But, we haven't spoken out loud a/b it ... don't want to lose the Magic.
I doubt any of that helps, but wanted to put my two cents in there, too!
BEST WISHES.

This one really hits close to home. Our 8 year daughter has had moment of doubt. Our response has always been “if you don’t believe, than you don’t receive” which has worked pretty good. She would say that hers friends at school would tell her it was her parents I would say things like “why would I do that?” I would play it off as much as possible. But a month or so ago she came to me and said “Mom, I have a question to ask you and I need the truth.” That told me right there something was coming I was not going to like. She said “Is the tooth fairy real?” Before I could start to say anything she strated telling me a story about looking for something of hers in my jewelry box and finding something there. Then she turned open the drawer and pulled out the little ziplock baggie I had with all her baby teeth and I have wrote “Vi’s Baby Teeth” on the front of the bag. Oh I was so throw off, I didn’t know what to do….I know the gig was up. I made my best sad face and said “Oh, Vi, why do you have to grow up so fast” I think she was afraid she was in trouble for going trough my stuff. I hugged her and was almost crying. She was so grown up about it and said “its ok” We have 2 younger kids and I asked her to please not to ruin it for them. She agreed and we went on.

The next night we were laying on my bed reading and she got real serious again and asked “You know how you told me about the tooth fairy? So does that mean that Santa isn’t real either?” I got all in a tizzy again. I said something to the point of “I’m not telling” I would not admit it but kept on asking her, “Why do you have to grow up and ask me all these hard questions?” I just about started crying again. She just giggled. I tried to explain that magic is real if you choose to believe. She seems to understand that mommy did not “lie” to be mean but to see her happy. She is ready to be Santa’s little helper this year.

Dear, A.

I have 9 children and when that started saying that Santa was not real and the older ones knew who put out Santa gifts I would tell them that Santa was very busy and sometimes needed a little help just like mommy needs help and just like they need help sometimes. I hope this helps.

I asked My Husband to handle this one for me. He is a RBS Real Bearded Santa.

Ho Ho Ho,
This is always a tough question for all of us, including us Santa's.

I posted your question on the Santa message board I belong to I got the views from some of the older Santas and here are a couple of things to consider saying.

In a case such as this I believe I would go with the spirit of Christmas explanation. While there once was truly a Santa {St. Nicholas) a long long time ago and what he did meant so much that people decided to carry on the works. That is how we have Santa today. Tell the child that believing in something we can't see is faith. And then ask the child not to explain this to her sister yet because she is not old enough to understand quite yet.

I can remember each of my children finding out that their wasn't a real Santa that mom and dad bought, wrapped and placed the gifts under the tree for them and that mom and dad put money under the pillow and took the tooth away and that mom and dad hid the easter eggs.

For mom all we can say is that watching them grow up just gets harder each day but we can look forward to what they become as adults.

Also go to papasanta's web site and read a story he wrote about this same subject.

http://www.papasanta.com/carmen.html

Santa still makes home visits as well. Drop me a line if you want to consider this option.

Santa Harold RBS, BSC
http://tricitiessantas.com/

Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas
http://www.aorbsantas.com/

Santa's Across the Globe
National Santa Claus Registry
Southeast Santa's

well my parents nevr came out and told us the truth about santa. We just kinda figured it out on our own. When we did it was nothing that scarred us for life. At that age we pretty much just went along with it cause hey we were still getting the presents no matter who they came from! If she continues to ask I wouldn't just flat out say yes he's real or not say that you yourself beleive in santa or the fairy and she has the choice to beleive if she wants too. I'm glad my parents never told me the truth and let me believe what i wanted.

Wow... I think this is harder for the parent than it is for the child. I remember sitting in bed with my children while my husband ran outside to shake the jingle bells. The looks on my children's eyes... priceless! Especially the night it was raining and my husband Ho Ho WHOA'd as he slipped on the roof. I had to calm the children down and tell them that Santa was fine! (While trying my hardest not to laugh.)

I think every child is different. Some want to believe more than others. You know your child... you'll know if he/she is ready. (And if you're ready. LOL!) For me, when they began to question the existence... that's when I broke the news to them. But I didn't just tell them 'no'. I told them that I still believe in Santa Claus myself, but the way I believe in him is a little different than the way they believe him...

I told them the story of St. Nicholas, (you should look it up, it's fascinating), and that the Santa Claus they know was really him. I told them that parents everywhere keep the spirit of Santa Claus alive by carrying on with his traditions. That even though he is no longer with us, we carry the spirit of St. Nick inside us and pass it on to our children. I also told them that it's okay to believe in the spirit of Saint Nick, because he really did exist... but the Santas that they see on TV and the malls are just a symbol of that spirit... and that it's the parents that deliver the presents in his name, not the man in the suit.

I also told them that now that they know the truth, THEY were given the responsibility to carry on the tradition... and that when they are older they have to do the same for their children.

They seemed to like that. :D

Plus... when the realization dawned on them that Daddy was the one that slipped on the roof... they giggled like crazy! And they had made a vow NOT to tell their father that they knew about Santa... until the following year. AFTER he jingled the bells. Then, when he came in to ask if they heard from Santa... he was greeted with a 'Thanks, Dad!!!' :D

Hello A.. I am a mother of 3 boys ages 2,6 & 8. I was confronted with the Santa question last year by my then 7 year old when a child in school did the same thing...told him there was no Santa. Although I believe children should know the true meaning of Christmas I also believe a big Jolly man in a red suit that brings toys when your nice is a great thing for a child to believe in! Not to mention a GREAT tool for us to use as parents to get our way at the end of the year(Santa's watching). HAHA!Save the " No, there's no such thing!" speech for the Boogeyman concerns. My belief is that children will only "believe" for a limited time... let them. If she is asking you, she still wants to hear that Santa exsists. It's when she TELLS you he dosen't and dosen't wait for or require a response from you that...the jig is up..lol! In the ages they are now (yours 7 and mine 8) I think they still need to believe in "toys" now and for as long as they will. Who are we to take that away from our kids especially at such a young age. We both know that Christmas was such a magical time for us growing up. All children need magic no matter how fictional it is to us. Again, if she is still asking you, all she wants to hear is "Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Clause". Not to mention the fact that as mom's it's the one time a year we get pictures that they don't argue about (pics with Santa.) HA! I hope this Christmas is filled with joy and MAGIC for both you and your daughters. Have a great day and I hope this helps.

J.