When to Allow My Daughter to Have Her Ears Pierced

Updated on April 16, 2008
C.C. asks from Silver Spring, MD
76 answers

This topic is a little tame given the various body parts one sees with piercing, but my daughter, who will be 7 in May, has asked to have her ears pierced. My husband and I wanted a "pulse check" to see when most parents allow ear-piercing.

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for your feedback!

My daughter wants to have her ears pierced because Mommy wears them, and because clip-ons pinch too much after a certain time.

I think we'll tell her that she may have them done as incentive for good behavior at school - if she gets a good report card on that aspect. [Which means it may be a goodly while before she gets them, but that's another post...]

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P.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Well my daughters had there ears pierced since they was about 1 years old that way they dont remeber the pain. They are now 19 and 11. So I would say go for it.

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N.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi C., normally little girls get their ears pieced around three months. At that time, they do have enough shots where they will be ok. Ask her doctor.

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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

When my girls expressed their desire I told them all that is required to take care of their ears...and that they would have to be responsible for that...anyway...even though I did most the work and had to hear them complain when I cleaned them that is what they agreed on! So, with that said...my girls had their ears pierced at 5 & 6 years!...I did have numbing cream though so that helped, but if you don't use that I'd explain that they'll feel pain!

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B.R.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband and I decided when our daughter, who is only 2, asks for her ears to be pierced we'd take her. Our thoughts were she'd be asking at around 5-7 years old. Go for it:)

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D.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I think that you have to look at your daughter and make sure she's responsoble enough to handle it. With my oldest daughter, I decided she had to be 10 years old. I later found out that most of her friends had the same rule, so that made it pretty easy. She had them pierced last November and she has been pretty good with it. But, we have had some incidents at school where she has been playing with them and she's lost the back or couldn't get the earring back in her ear. I have a younger daughter who is 6 now and I will have her wait until she is 10 also. If you feel like your daughter is ready, though, I do have a number of friends who have gotten their daughter's ears pierced at 5, 6 and 7 years old. Good Luck!

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K.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter asked if she could have it done on her 5th birthday, and we took her on exactly that day to the mall kiosk. There were two nice ladies there. They pierced both ears simultaneously so we didn't go home with a daughter with only one ear pierced. She cried a bit, but is really proud of herself and (at nearly 6) really likes them now.

My feeling is that is should be something that SHE REALLY wants done. I don't think age matters. I think that, for a young girl, it is somewhat of a right of passage to decide they want to have it done and be supported in that. Imagine the resentment and backlash that might occur if she is told no. I think that is disempowering, and she might overcompensate to make up for it in the future. It's not like she wants a tattoo or anything drastic which would require stricter rules and age of consent agreements. These are just tiny little ear rings. Go with her, hold her hand & buy her something special immediately afterward... an ice cream cone, a scarf or hat that matches. Something so that she can really feel special in claiming her self and her body. Something that will be very important in the next few years for her.

Good Luck & Best Wishes!

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S.

answers from Washington DC on

I grew up in Miami and my mom is from Latin America so my ears were done when I was 6 weeks old. It's pretty common. We had my daughter's ears pierced when she was 7 months old since most places won't do it until the child is over 6 months. My husband's family was in an uproar and a lot of people made comments. But IMHO 7 is certainly old enough.

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K.W.

answers from Roanoke on

My mother actually had my ears pierced by a doctor when I was six months old - I didn't have much hair and she was tired of people thinking I was a boy! Most of the time during my childhood I didn't wear earrings but every once in a while I'd want to wear my little 14K gold studs and would carefully work them in. The holes would close up a bit when I didn't wear earrings for a long time but I could gently get them in; it didn't hurt. Because I'd always had pierced ears it wasn't a big deal to have them. I'm 33 and the holes are not stretched out. The way I see it, it's not a moral issue, it's not considered a disfigurement in our society, and it's unlikely any female would regret having pierced ears.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Mine were done at birth - its a heritage thing. Then I added 16 more as I went into my teen and adult ages. Now I only have the original ones. I only have boys now and I see their girlfriends with the tongue piercing and the eyebrow, the belly button, and other unmentionalbles. I just thank God, I only have boys. We are having a granddaughter in June, so I think the piercing will come out then, but in this day and age its just part of our culture. Be thankful she is only asking for her ears to be pierced. "-)

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C.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I was not allowed to have my ears pierced until I was 11. My mother said when you can take care of your ears yourself, then you wll get them pierced. It worked well. I have 3 daughters, ages 18, 6 and 4. The 18 year old had her ears pierced when she was about 9 or 10 and she let them close back up about a year later because they got infected and she didn't want to deal with it. My 6 and 4 year old have never had it done. I think you should allow your daughter to get her ears pierced when she can take on at least some of the responsibility of caring for her ears. Cleaning them with alcohol, changing her ear rings, taking them out for sporting events, etc...

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A.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi! My name is A. and I am the mom of two boys, Jacob~7 and CJ~. You might ask yourself ~ is she responsible enough to care for her own ears and keep up with her earrings? Is she responsible with her stuff now? Does she brush her teeth and take care of herself without being told? If you can answer yes, then she's ready. If you utilize a chore chart, you may want to include cleaning her ears/earrings as part of her daily list. Your little girl is growing up! Have fun picking out earrings! Good luck and God Bless!

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K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I first got my ears pierced for my 7th birthday. They sadly got infected and had to close and my Mom made a deal with me that I can get them redone when I was 14. It worse torture having to wait! The most important question is, do you think she can handle it? It's painful to get them done (I have a total of 7 holes, all in my ears) and the first few weeks of having and caring for them are painful as well. If you think she can handle it then I'd say go for it.

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S.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi C.. I think it is a matter of your comfort level and your daughter's responsibility level. If you are comfortable with the idea of her getting her ears pierced and she can remember to clean them twice a day, twist them and leave them alone the other times, it should be fine.

I had my ears pierced at 4 1/2 because I asked. (of course my mom had to clean them since I was little) and I have two daughters ages 3 1/2 and 6 months. Both my girls already have their ears pierced.

My first daughter had hers done at age 9 weeks and my second daughter at 5 months. I went ahead and did it now because I knew I'd be able to take care of them and they wouldn't be able to play with their ears.

If you do decide to let her get her ears pierced, I would make sure she understands about the pain and also see if you can get two people to pierce them at the same time.

Hope this helps.
S.

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T.E.

answers from Richmond on

Hi C.,
I pierced my daughter's ears pretty early on because I did not want her to have to go through it later. My daughter is now 6 and loves wearing ear rings. I think your daughter is at a good age but I would ask her why does she want it done. I would not want my daughter to change who she is because other little girls has pierced ears. It is good that you are asking advice on the subject and did not just run right out and do it, I wish you luck on what you decide to do, I am sure it will be the best choice for your little lady.
T.

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H.L.

answers from Norfolk on

I think it's a matter of opinion on this matter. I actually respect parents waiting to let the child decide; but I have my first little girl and she's 5months old and she had her ears pierced at 3months. I waited until she had her 1st. immunizations with no reaction and we had them done on Jan 1st. She's doing fine and they are adorable. I remember getting mind done at 5y.o. and it's a lasting memory for some. I just think when they are younger it's like another immunization and it's gone to them. Once they're older they know it's their and you have to make sure that you're really the only one caring for the piercings for a while.

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N.P.

answers from Charlottesville on

We had my daughter's ears pierced when she was a baby at about 6 months old. I have gotten some very mixed responses from other mothers about this, some that I think were rather uncalled for actually. My sisters and I all had our done at this age and I never thought anything of it when I had hers done and she only cried for a moment, just as your daughter would now, I'm sure. My husband and I discussed it first (there are no girls in his family) and we said that it was either now or wait until she was 13 so that we knew she was old enough to really understand what she was doing.

I wanted to add that I agree with the previous posts, DO NOT go to the mall to get this done. The people that do it there are not very well trained. You could go to a piercing/tattoo shop where they are highly trained in piercings although that could be a little intimidating to your 7 year old daughter. I would recommend going to your pediatrician, thats where we had our daughter's done.

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L.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't have girls but I think if they are old enough to ask for it, understand it stings a bit and responsible enouch to take good care of their ears (cleaning ear rings and ears regularly and such) it's probably okay. I was 16 and my parents did not want me to pierce my ears at all even then but figured I was old enough. Could you imagine how they would feel w/ all the things folks do today ?? Ear, nose, belly button, cheeks and those big stretchy ear hole thingies would have killed them !!

HTH,
L.

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Y.B.

answers from Washington DC on

C., I don't see any problems with your daughter wanting to get her ears pierced. It's when they want to get the other parts of there body pierce that's when you should start to worry. I am a single mother of a 16yr old daughter and yes she does have her ears pierce (since the age of 6 mos) Now at the age of 16 she wants her belly button pierced....Heck! NO!

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter had to wait until she was 13 years old to have her ears pierced. I made her wait longer than probably the average parent for two reasons. I wanted to make sure it was something she really wanted to have done and not just a passing phase because the other girls were getting their ears pierced. I wanted her to be old enough and responsible enough to take care of her ears properly herself. She excepted the decision and on her 13th birthday she and I went out to celebrate by getting her ears pierced. She was glad she waited; it made it more special.
We did not go to a place in the mall because I was concerned about germs and infection. We went to a reputable jeweler and purchased fine gold diamond studs.

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T.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter is turning 5 next week. Her big birthday present is getting her ears pierced. She wanted it done when she was 2 years old, but we told her that she could have it done when she turned 5 yrs. old. Of course, she doesn't forget anything and is counting down the days! I think that it is a personal decision and depends on the maturity of the individual child. Our daughter is ready to be responsible and I think it will be fine for her. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, thinks that she is too young. I got mine pierced for my 7th birthday and loved it. Whatever decision you make will be the correct one!

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C.F.

answers from Washington DC on

My family does it at at the age of 13 - I don't think it's a 'Catholic thing', as one poster said, to do it in infancy - my family is Catholic.

For my family it was more of a coming of age thing, as well as an age where we could take care of them ourselves. One step closer to adulthood. Got it done as part of our 'big' birthday plans - turning into an 'official' teenager and all that.

Frankly, I think we all let kids do all sorts of things early because we can, doesn't mean that we *should*. Both my older sister and I have decided to stick with the 13th birthday for ear-piercing. She's got 3 girls and I have 2 of my own.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

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B.S.

answers from Washington DC on

we let me daughter pierce her ears at 5 1/2 yrs when she started asking. My husband would not let me do it until SHE asked. Now at 7, she is able to take them out by herself but needs help putting them in still. My mom made me wait til I was 9 and it became a big issue. Why wait?

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A.P.

answers from Richmond on

C., Both my girls (18 and 7 respectively) had there ears pierced as babies, I think it was a good decision. my 7 year old now wears earings when she wants too and knows how to care for them. When my 18 year old wanted another hole I made her wait til she was 15. As far as the other body parts they are still off limits.

I am a mother of 3. 2 girls and a boy the boy still has no piercings :-)

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K.B.

answers from Charlotte on

My daughter is 14 months old and has her ears pierced. My husband wanted his little girls ears decorated so that no one would mistake his little angel for a boy. He was ready to do it after the first set of tetnis (sp?) shots at 4 months old. I asked the pediatrician, they suggested waiting until 6 months simply to allow her ear to get a bit bigger - making the job easier for them. So, now they are pierced and the benefit to her age was, there was no concern about her pulling them out, making them 'dirty' and causing infection...she was simply too young. She only cried for at most 5 seconds, per ear. I cried more. Personally, I think that if your daughter is old enough to ask for it, and has been informed about two things: 1) the sting of piercing and 2) the long term care of earrings, than she is ready to have it done. It is so socially acceptable for girls (and boys now) to have their ears pierced, all of her friends probably have it making her desire even greater. I would make sure she is aware of the consequences of not caring for her new jewelry such as infection, and possible removal of earrings until she is ready to be responsible, and than go for it. They can always be removed! good luck.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

My parents allowed me to get my ears pierced at age 6, with the understanding that I would be fully responsible for taking care of my ears and my earings. I plan to let my daughter get them pierced when I feel she is mature enough also.

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T.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My oldest was done at 8 months and my youngest at 3 months. For the second piercing I let my oldest choose when to have that done - I didn't feel I could tell her no since I also have 2 piercings. She decided to have it done last year - she was 11 - for her birthday. I got my first at 15 and my second a couple of years later. I'd say if your 7 year old has waited this long - go a head and let her do it - just make sure she knows it is going to hurt (which is why I did my girls as infants)

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P.D.

answers from Norfolk on

I had my daughter's ears pierced when she was just a baby by her pediatrician. I found this to be the best because it allowed me to monitor her ears, take care of them, so now that she is eight years old, I have no problems with her ears. It should be okay to get your daughters ears pierced, but just be careful of what place you select to take her to.

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D.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, My daughter is almost 7 and we just got hers pierced 2/13. She does a great job cleaning them and turning them! I think this is a great age. She is an only child and I am a social worker and dad's a police officer. Her best friend got hers pierced for her 7th birthday.

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K.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I have an 8 year old girl who was just asking for pierced ears the other day. I am telling her 12. (In my head the # is at least 10.) My personal opinion is they need to be old enough and responsible enough to take them out, put them in, clean the ears and keep track of the nicer ones. Also, with everything happening so early for our girls, I want her to have something to look forward to. If by 10 all her friends are getting their ears pierced I may give a little. Good luck.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My stepdaughter had hers done at 8. I would have allowed them earlier but that was between her mom and dad. My sister and I had them done as infants. I had one redone at 4 for an infection, but was fine after that. I think if she's asking and you're up to keeping on her about cleaning/care, then go ahead. Make sure she knows ahead of time that it will pinch, that she needs to clean them/turn them, and to wear the studs for the full 6 weeks or whatever before she can change them. Your pediatrician may do them if you are concerned about the cleanliness of the mall shops.

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T.H.

answers from Norfolk on

i think now a days children gets ears peirced the first year of life. those that dont either have decided that they will wait to see if the child actually wants them done or dont think it i something that should be done altogether. if you and hubby think that ear peircing is ok then let her have it done it isn't a bad thing and is very cut as long as your child doesnt have sensitive ears. my advice though is to have two people peirce each ear at the same time. that way they dont have to do the other ear while knowing the pain it will cause from just havingthe first done.

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C.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi C., my name is C.. I had my ears pierced when
I was 3 months old. I was on an outing excursion with my
mother and Godmother who baptized me. My daughter who is now
1, I had her ears pierced when she was 6 months old. Children
are very resilient when it comes to overcoming pain. Getting
your ears pierced are a little painful. I think now is as
good as time as any. Surprise her with her very own birthstone
earrings for her birthday. Just make sure that they are not
gold plated, with me in the past gold plated earrings have
irritated my ears. Good luck

C. S.

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P.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi C.,
I think 7 is fine. I broke down and let my girls get theirs done around that age. I was trying to hold out until 10 but their friend (who's mother was way more overprotective than me) got hers done. I couldn't think of a really good reason not to get it done.
Advice- make sure to go to a place with the "gun" and that they use two and do it all at once. I remember getting one done and not wanting the second one, nothing like telling a crying little girl she HAS to get the second one done.
Once they are done, Kmart, Walmart, etc have cheap gold earrings. It lowers the chances of infection if you only use gold or silver earrings.
Good Luck

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S.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Good morning. We did our first child's ears at age 5 as part of a birthday present. We made this decision based on the fact that she showed an interest. We made sure she knew it was going to hurt for a bit and she did great. Not one tear! Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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M.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

My daughter was 10 when we allowed her to get them done. It was a good age, because she really could grasp the responsibilty of taking care of her ears, especially the first 6 months or so. Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Dover on

I took my daughter to the local mall and let her watch several people get their ears pierced. She than had a different view of the pain and process of getting this done. As well as the respondsibilty of keeping them cleaned and turned. My daughter decided to wait and I suggested she wait till she was 10 years old. She did wait till she was 10 and took care if them by herself. I think this made her feel better about who she was and that she can do things all on her own. Good Luck
M.

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My parents told me I could have my ears pierced at 14. I didn't really understand why, but just accepted that as the rule in our family. I was too busy with other things to care much about accessorizing! Now I plan to set the same age for my two daughters because I look at them and think they are most beautiful just as they are, without the distraction of jewelry. Good luck coming to the decision that's right for your family!

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D.M.

answers from Washington DC on

C., this is truly a judgement call, cause tradition in my family has been that we get the girls ears pierced by 6 months of age. So go with your gut feeling about it and if your daughter is truly ready then that should be a special day you do with her---her "big girl" day!

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A.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I know you've already received tons of advice, but I wanted to offer one more suggestion. My parents made me wait until I could consistently keep my room picked up for 6 weeks to demonstrate my responsibility. They wanted to make sure that I could keep them clean and wanted to make sure that I understood that it was a privilege to be earned. That being said, I think I managed to do that around 8 or 9 years old and never had an ear infection or any problems. Anytime I begged to have them pierced before that point, I was just reminded that it was completely within my control. Good Luck!

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E.V.

answers from Roanoke on

I was 11 when my mom let me. My step sis was 8, and hers ended up closing after getting infected, and she did it again at 11 w/me! (we are the same age!). I think 10-11 is a good age if you want them to take the responsibility, or maybe consider when they start middle school/jr high! That would be cool, too! Also, if you don't mind making sure they are clean and taken care of and you think your daughter is ok to do it, then just go for it! ultimately it's your decision, just make sure you/she stick by the instructions so that they don't get infected and have to go through it again!

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G.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I had my daughter's done when she was 6 months old - she is almost 5 now. I went to a jeweler and they did an excellent job. They did use the gun and did both ears at the same time. We sang her songs and she never even cried once. Her ears never got infected and she loves changing them every week or for special occasions. I think the little studs look so adorable on little girls.

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D.B.

answers from Washington DC on

C.,
I am a family practice physician. The 'rule' for ear piercings is you have to have received at least one tetanus vaccine, ie the child has to have already received at least the DTaP vaccine usually given at 2 months of age. I recommend 3 months of age or older because this allows time to look for any vaccine side effects. I also advise my patients to go to places like 'piercing pagoda' where they do large volumes of piercings but avoid holiday seasons as there tend to be a lot of 'seasonal workers' that may not have much experience. For my two daughters I called and arranged to go when the manager(who had several years' experience)was available.
D. B

✤.J.

answers from Dover on

Hi C.,

I agree with Eileen completely. We waited until our daughter turned 6 & were sure that she completely understood us when we explained that it was going to be a little uncomfortable & that they needed to stay in & be cleaned, etc. I cleaned & turned the earings myself twice daily, but Hailey was always very good about it & now that she's had them in for about 6 months, she likes to pick out a new pair every so often. I do still make her leave them in all the time so as not to run the risk of them closing up accidentally, but other than that we've had great luck.

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E.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi C.,

I let my daughter get her ears pierced when she turned five. She understood everything that was going to happen and how you had to clean them and keep them in for an extended period of time before changing them.
We had them done at the piercing pagoda in the mall. They will do both ears at the same time and they do use the ear piercing gun. They were great, my girl didn't even flinch. No crying or anything.
I would recommend 14 carrot gold to start. Less chance of ear infection.
Good Luck!

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A.M.

answers from Norfolk on

We have a very different custom in my culture. We pierce our ears as early as we want. I had my daughter's ears pierced at 3 months after she had her first immunization shots. I know every culture has their own way of doing things and ways of thinking. If it's in your culture to pierce their ears at 13 or when they are old enough to your standard and you feel that you must follow these traditions then stick to it. If however you see that your daughter will not have any complications like getting the area infected then by all means get her ears pierced. My daughter is 4 months now, she has no problems with her pierced ears and she looks really cute with her pink stud earrings.

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A.T.

answers from Norfolk on

My daughter is only 9 months so I haven't even really thought about getting hers done yet...however I had mine done when I was 8. Many people get their childs ears pierced when they are babies...
I think that she is at the age where she can understand what getting them pierced means and stuff. I would just explain to her what to expect and how she has to keep them clean *of course with your observation as well*.
It isn't something that she can't take out later in life if she chooses not to have them anymore...but in reality, what girl doesn't want her ears pierced these days? =)

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E.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I think I was 9 when I got mine done (bday present.) That was back in the 80's though!

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A.H.

answers from Dover on

I think it depends on the kid and the maturity of the child. For example, gettting your ears pierced, is not just about having pretty earrings....it's also about taking care of your ears once they are pierced. You might want to explain to her the responsibility about having to clean your ears 2 or 3 times a day, the first 6 weeks after they are pierced. You could always buy her clip-on's and have her clean her lobes 2 to 3 times a day and if she is faithful with the clip-on's, maybe reward her with the "real thing"
This is just an idea....Good Luck!

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L.S.

answers from Washington DC on

13 is a good age for kids to make this kind of decision for themselves. Personally, I don't agree with having a babies ears pierced. I don't know about you, but I didn't need one more thing to maintain when my daughter was born.

D.M.

answers from Norfolk on

This is a great way to see what other parents are doing, so I applaud you on really not knowing what to do, and seeking advice from other parents.
I have a 3 year old daughter, and I when she was 2 months old, I was very close to getting her ears pierced. But then I had a eye opening thing happen when I thought that I was a horrible mother about to take my new precious PERFECT baby girl, and put two holes in her head. A little dramatic, I know, but I didn't do it and always said to myself I will get her ears pierced when she was old enough to really want them done, and could ask me herself, and would help take care of them herself. (I don't see anything wrong with it, as I have my ears pierced, a few times.)
So that is my thought on the whole thing. God Bless!!

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D.R.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi C.,

I'm Italian and many Italians have their ears pierced as infants as my mother did. My daughter wanted her ears pierced when she was five--entirely her own idea. I tried to dissuade her, telling her about the pain etc. but she was adamant--so we did it. Neither of us had any regrets. I say, go ahead but make sure that you do not skimp on the earings that are initially put in--only use real gold. Abuela

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K.B.

answers from Washington DC on

C., Just this weekend my daughter,6, had her ears pierced. I was in third grade when mine were peirced. I think it's completly up to you. My stepdaughter had her's peirced at 6 weeks old. I was totally against doing it when they were infants. She asked to have them done the other day, I thought she'd back out but she stood firm and very barvely , no tears, had them done Saturday. I also have a 3 year old who wanted them done, I told her not until 1st grade. Again, it's completly up to you. You are her parent.

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D.J.

answers from Washington DC on

Well you will love this...My Pediatrician told us to wait until our daughter had her first round of Hepatitis vaccines kicked in which was when she was SIX MONTHS OLD. So as you can see, we pierced our daughters ears very young. Other than the look of "horror" on her little face in the pictures she did great...she didn't even cry. It was my personal choice to get them done early so she wouldn't be "Terrified" (as my girlfriend's 7 year old was) later nor would she be overly conscious about them and fiddle with her ears as they healed. I said all that to say, if she as asked for her ears to be pierced at the age of 7 and you've explained the responsibilities she will have to adopt to care for them, more power to her!

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C.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I had my daughters ears pierced when she was 8 months old. So, I guess I'm one of those that say let her get them pierced. As long as she knows that it will sting and not to mess with them once they are done. I would say 7 is probably a good age. If I had waited until she was older, I probably would have taken her to the place where they do the piercing and let her see what happens and then let her make the decision if she still wants to go through with it or wait. Thanks!

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H.D.

answers from Washington DC on

The "pulse check" for you will be how much you will be able to tolerate the tending and otherwise caring for the pierced ears. I have two girls, now ages 8 and 10. Both had asked to get their ears pierced, but I told them they had to wait until they were ten so that they would be capable of taking care of them themselves.

Both my daughters have friends who've had their ears pierced around age 6 or 7 and many of them ended up with infected earlobes, lost patience, and let their ears close up. We know one girl who's had her ears pierced 3 or 4 times. These girls only reinforced my concept of some maturity required!

Now, that said, I ended up letting my daughters pierce their ears before age 10, one at 9 1/2 and the other at 8 1/2. They were both ready for it and have taken care of their ears and earrings themselves. Occasionally, I have to help them change their earrings, but that's only fun!

So the litmus test is you! Good luck!

H.

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S.M.

answers from Norfolk on

Well, My daughter had hers done when she was 3 months old. My mom did mine when I was 1 day old. I am native american, so it is a cultural thing for me. I think at your daughter's age, she needs to ba able to take care of them, cleaning them and stuff. It is a pain in the butt. However, be glad it isn't her belly button, eyebrow or nose!

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi C.. I think it depends on the maturity level of your daughter. My daughter asked to have her ears pierced when she was 5. We allowed her to do it, on the condition that she took care of them. And she did, however she didn't continue to keep them in and the holes closed, she has since had them peirced again, and again they've closed. She is 11 now, and wants them pierced again. It may just be her ears, I don't understand why they keep closing up. I think also it is important to restrict the type of earrings she can wear, to make sure she's not trying to look "too big."

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L.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I used to be in the birthday party business for little girls where they made earrings. I would go so far as to say more than 70% of all the girls had their ears pierced by age 7. Those that did not had to wait until they were 12. While I don't have girls personally, I did also have my ears done at age 7. Good luck.

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F.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I did not get my ears pierced until I was eight and so did my niece. I don't see a problem with having her ears pierced just make sure that your daughter does not keloid. After her ears are pierced just make sure that she cleans her earlobes with the solution and follow the instructions.

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C.I.

answers from Washington DC on

I have always appreciated the fact that my parents pierced mine as an infant. (I think it's a Catholic thing). I got my second set when I was 13.

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K.D.

answers from Washington DC on

C.

We just made this decision. My daughter is 9 and wants her ears pierced.

My husband and I decided to let her have her ears pierced when she gets her first period. She has started puberty (at 9 who can believe it) and in our reading about what to talk about we ran across this idea. I like the rite of passage idea and so we decided to do this. She thinks she is getting her ears pierced when she is 16 like I did. So it will be a nice surprise and something to remember.

Also connected to this was when to get her a cell phone. We have decided to give it to her when she turns 10 as a sign of responsibility and because I would like to be able to get hold of her sometimes when we go in the hospital with our son (another long story)

Sorry to go on and on but we just made these big decisions and it is so good to have decided. Good luck

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L.W.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, my daughter was 7 actually! but we did pierce them when she was about 1 but I guess I did something wrong because they closed up.. so at 7 she got them repierced. I don't think it really matters though, just up to you all. :)

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M.G.

answers from Washington DC on

My mom made me wait until I was 10. I begged and begged for a second piercing in both ears, but had to wait until I was 18. Now I wish I didn't have the second piercing.

I read somewhere recently that piercings really should be done at a place where only body art is done, like at a tattoo parlor. A respectable one, of course. And these places will do piercings only on anyone 18 years or older. The places in the mall are staffed with people who have little training and are more likely to pierce incorrectly. Just my 2 cents.

Good luck with your decision!

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi C.,

The question is: Do you want your daughter to have pierced ears? If you do, when do you want her to have her ears pierced? Just because she asks, doesn't mean that she will get them pierced. Getting ears pierced takes alot of care for at least 6 weeks. If they get infected, the first thing that happens is the ear rings are removed. I know you want her to be successful when she gets her ears pierced so that needs to be considered.

Good luck in your decision. D.

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M.P.

answers from Norfolk on

C.,

My philosophy was the same as my parents: When my girls wanted their ears pierced AND understood that it would HURT to do AND agreed to do what was necessary to care for them afterwards, they could do it. It wasn't about age for us. When those three conditions were met, we would allow them to get it done. One of my girls was four. The other was almost 7.

Hope this helps!

B. M. Pippin
www.moms-work.com

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm a twin, and my parents made us wait until our 12th birthday to get our ears pierced. My Mom was older than that, but then she was from a family that wasn't much for jewelry. They made us take care of them ourselves. We both received really nice 14k earrings for our birthday.

Before age 12, she did let us wear the type of earrings that just stick onto your ear. We thought we were so cool!

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

We did my daughter's at 4 - and although after the initial pain, she didn't let us change them for a year, it ended up being good because she wore her starters for a whole year! It's all up to you, it's a very personal decision.

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R.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Many of the young girls in our children's public school and synagogue have pierced ears -- some as early as the toddler years. As long as your daughter is old enough to take care of her pierced ears (keep them clean; carefully remove clothing over her head as they are healing; etc), why not let her have them? After all, in some cultures, parents pierce their children's ears shortly after birth. Make sure that where ever you go for the piercing that they have experience working with young children -- as well as having a clean, sterile operation. And avoid putting any earrings in her ears that aren't sold gold or hypoallergenic steel. Fashion earrings are often cheap and bad for healing pierces. Also, stay away from hoops and dangley earrings that can easily get caught on clothes, etc.

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A.W.

answers from Washington DC on

The rule in my house was 12. I hated it but looking back at least my parents were consistent. I wanted them to cave so badly but they didn't and I think that was the important thing. Since my parents were pretty strict I was less motivated later to do any other body piercing. I think you just need to decide if your daughter is old enough to take care of her own earings, ears, putting solution on etc. My daughter is still a baby so I will be interested to see when she wants her pierced as well. I think we will decide on an age anywhere between 8-12.

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S.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I think 8 years old is a good time for girls to get their ears pieced. My sister and I got ours done when we were 8 and my sister has done that with each of her 3 daughters and it's worked well. I think with such things it's always good to have ages set up for milestones for girls and boys.

For example: heels for girls, dating and so forth. It's nice to have things to look forward to as the years pass by.

Hope that helps.

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L.H.

answers from Dover on

hi C.,

being a former salon owner in NY, i will just give you some insight and hopefully this will help you and your husband make your decision.

I think its great that your daughter wants to be taking care of herself in a fashionable way. she will have to understand that the piercing is done with a gun and will feel a little sharp pinch and then have to do it again with the other ear. she will need some tylenol afterwards when she goes to bed and that should do it. see if they can numb it before they pierce her.

After that she will need your help in keeping them clean while she heals. everyday she is to take either the solution they give you or some alcohol, spin the earrings around in the hole, so the hole will heal, and clean out the sticky residue in the beginning. in 3-4 weeks, her ears will heal wonderfully if she takes good care of them. If she does not, the skin will grow on the earring and hurt her when she has to spin them later on. Its all up to her and you how she will take care of this. she has to have nice clean hands when she does this, but personally, i think its a really nice way for a girlie bonding between you and your daughter.

I would recommend gold earrings. the ones they use with the machine are gold covered and fine. after a month i would purchase a nice set of post or small hoop earrings that are gold through the ear. NEVER USE COSTUME JEWELRY FOR INFECTIONS WILL BEGIN...you can get them at a really good price and find nice designs at wal-mart. Ask them for the earring collection for children.

when she gets them pierced, make sure everything is done in order; sanitizing, gun is cleansed, earrings come out of the packet in front of you and they are wearing gloves. You are dealing with blood here so she does not need to have anything transferred. But if you go to a good spa/salon that has a very good reputation, she will be just fine. have a licensed haridresser do the piercing.

take pictures and go out to lunch afterwards-- just you and her. she is your daughter and its a precious 'rite of passage' from you to her.

as far as getting upper ear, tongue, lip, cheek, nose, eyebrow and all that, i would not allow it. these do not leave a good impression on people when later on she wants to get a job to work for college nor good for business as an adult. a 3rd hole is just fine. when i got rid of mine, it just closed and left no permanent hole.

my vote is yes and what a wonderful way for her to enjoy her femininity.

blessings, L.

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A.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I had my daughters ears pierced when she was 4 months old. Our pediatrician did it, I gave her some tylenol, she went to sleep, done deal. The younger the better in my case.

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D.H.

answers from Richmond on

This is a very harmless way to express herself and be able to wear jewelry. If this is something you'd prefer her to wait till she were older then you set the limits of how old she needs to wait.
Our two girls, now 19 and 21, had their ears pierced when they were young but when they turned 18, they decided to do get several ear piercings, the belly button done and both proudly wear very loud tatoos none of which is something I would want for myself.lol.

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P.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Let her do it when you think she is responsible enough to clean and take care of her ears and earrings. I let my daughter when she was nine, but I wish I would have waited. She loses the earrings all of the time! She's just that kind of kid. If your daughter is responsible, she's ready. I just knew that with her two younger siblings, I couldn't be the one responsible for taking care of her ears.

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B.B.

answers from Norfolk on

It seems as though you have lost of advice already, but I will give mine just the same. I myself had my ears pierced when I was five and my daughters were pierced at one and a half. She is now seven and still has her ears pierced. One thing that I would suggest though is using nickle free earrings. I am allergic to nickel so I chose to have my daughter wear nickel free just in case. I had to have my ears re-pierced so many times growing up because they would get infected and close up due to the nickel and they did not have nickel free earrings then. Anyhow, if you think that your daughter is ready and responsible enough to have her ears pierced then I would say go ahead.

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

We started thinking about this issue ever since our 9 year old daughter asked us the same question -- she was around 7, the same age as your daughter. My husband and I were suprised to see so many 2nd and 3rd grade girls getting their ears pierced and we had always assumed that it would happen when she was 13 or 14. What we told our daughter is that the decision has to be based on her ability to take care of her body. Once she is able (and willing) to take care of herself (baths, hair washing and brushing, teeth flossing, etc), then she can have her ears pierced. She seems to understand our logic and has accepted it for now.
I would guess that we'll let her pierce them by the time she's 11 or 12. Good luck to you!
S. R.

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