When Does the Crying END????!!!! - Pittsburgh,PA

Is he tired?
Does he nap? Oh sorry, he does. Maybe he needs more than 1 nap?
He sounds tired.

I have a boy, he is not whiney.
It is not gender related.
I have a girl too. And SHE was the whiney one.

As an aside: my friend had a baby girl like that. She took her to the Doctor, the Doc examined her closely head to toe. It was found that a blond hair was wrapped around her toe. Tightly... and was getting tighter. It was not easy to see the hair. The Doc removed the hair. Her baby was a different baby after that, and happy. NOT whiney. For her, this was the problem. So... it can be anything. Or just normal developmental 'separation anxiety' or something.

all the best,
Susan

My son was the same way. It got better when he could start talking and tell me what he wanted. The good news was that he was an early talker and his verbal skills were way ahead of other kids his age. He would even amaze complete strangers! I know that's not the answer you were hoping for, and I know what you are going through. It helped to give him toys that talked a lot. He had this V-tech talking phone and laptop that he loved at this age. And I got good at tuning out the whining. Hang in there, and this too will pass.

My daughters were angel babies... my SON... omg... I joke all the time about selling him to the gypsies, or sending him down the river in a Moses basket with a $20 bill pinned to his shirt. My girlfriend in Florida recently sent me ear plugs... I don't know what it is, but boys simply need to hear themselves make noise. My son is like yours, he just cries ALL THE TIME for no reason other than he can. The only time he's quiet is when he's being naughty!! And of course, he doesn't want anyone else but ME. It's exhausting. You're not alone! I'm looking forward to reading the previous responses and the ones that come after mine. Too bad we don't live closer, we could put them in a room together and see who's louder and let them wear each other out ;) Hang in there... hopefully someone on here will come up with a miracle sure!! Best wishes :)

My son was like this as a baby. What finally helped was dropping him off at daycare 2 mornings a week. He screamed the whole 4 hours for the first 6 weeks and then got used to it and before long it was a battle to get him to leave! Around the same time the whining/crying/clinging began to subside and we even finally got him out of our bed - which had been previously impossible because he could keep him self awake for 2 - 3 days at a time in protest of the cio method. He is still a bit clingy but now that he's 4 I can treat it as somewhat of a disciplinary issue. No, it's not a boy thing - I know plenty of moms of boys who did not have it this hard.

My grandson is 15 months old. He is a whiner much of the time and my daughter gets tired of it. We all do. But it doesn't get to me quite as much. I guess I'm used to it.

One day recently I asked in a very exasperated way, "What the h e l l are you complaining about?"! He looked at me with a half grin, stopped whining immediately, lifted his hands palms upwards, shrugged and I swear in his own baby way it sounded like he said I don't know! It didn't come out clear but he walked away with a smile on his face.

These kids don't know most of the time what they want either. I just get him down on the floor, tickle him, kiss him, grunt back at him in funny ways and usually get him smiling if only for a L. bit.

It sounds like you need to spend more time making him laugh and laughing at it yourself. After all, we can laugh, cry, or God forbid, hurt them! Since we can't do that and crying wouldn't help, just laugh with him. Laugh AT him. When all else fails, put him in the crib and sit down and meditate for a bit.

Hi, J.:

Do you have a MOM's club near you?
The baby needs the warmth and touch.

Carry him around in a sling and do what
you have to do.
Good luck.
D.

I started telling my kids from a young age.... "Mommy can't understand you when you whine, you need to take a deep breath and talk in a big girl/boy voice" and then I did not get them what they wanted until they spoke without whining. I HATE whining!! It puts me over the edge!! It does get better, just hang in there!

Oops - my bad, I got the ages of the kids mixed up, I thought he was 2 1/2....that might not work at such a young age.....

How is he when you are in public? I notice that if my son is bored he is much more whiney so you may be on to somehting. Which of course happens a bit more at home cuz if you are in public they have more to focus on. At 14 months they are just starting to understand what you mean so you have a L. more time before you can start to reason with him, but it will come.

Can you pinpoint times when he is the most whiny? Like is it just to get your attention or is anything-playing and he falls or something gets taken away, etc? Maybe if you can find the trigger you can address it better.

If it is purely your attention, maybe you could try some solo time with him if your daughter lets you-I know that's hard-even 30 minutes...or maybe get a sitter for a few hours or send her on a playdate...

If it's just whine to whine-you may have to bear it and ignore it...cuz othrwise he's got your number and he's calling it!

I don't have any great answers but wonder if your kids are the reverse order from what seems to be the typical needy older child vs independent younger one. What you describe sounds horrible but then I think back to when my oldest was that age and I had such a hard time doing anything too. She demanded so much focus. My second one was so good at playing alone I couldn't believe it. And my oldest was a fussy baby <1 year too and didn't sleep through the night until 12 months as well. I think we were luckier having her first... So it could just be normal and only thing I can suggest (I'm sure some people will disagree) are some Baby Einstein videos for babies. Just 1/2 hour... Not much but at least 1/2 hour more a day than you have now. Also, have you tried an Ergo carrier? I don't remember the age I stopped using the Baby Bjorn but carrying her in that helped. I'd do dishes etc. Then the Ergo is better for heavier kids.

My Daughter does the same thing... she is 2... so she is a L. better at being able to reason and understand at this point... but ever since she was a year old (and I found out I was prgnant again) I knew that the whining and clinging was something we would have to find a way to stop...

I have pretty much stalled it at this point by finding ways for her to "help" me with whatever I am trying to do.

As an example, we got a play kitchen for her and put it in our kitchen. So when I am cooking or working in the kitchen I can have her pull a chair up to the counter and "help" or give her some spices or uncooked pasta to "cook" in her kitchen...

By finding a way for them to "help" I found that would diffuse the situation by involving her in what I was doing without actually having to "hold" her or stop what I'm doing...

Hope this helps! Just remind them how big they are getting and that they can help... then they will be less likely to get bored and upset

First, of all, autism can not be ruled out by 14 months. Your pediatrician was extremely unprofessional to exclude this from the list of possible issues. Autism can only be diagnosed by a specialist and just having two children with Autism does not make her an expert. The spectrum is extremely wide and lots of different behaviors fit into this label.

People are lying when they tell you that this is how boys are. I have had two boys and though they were both very different from each other, neither cried and whined like you are describing. In addition, none of my friends' boys have cried that much either.

You are a good mother to look into the reasons he is so unhappy and clingy. But I certainly wouldn't rule any cause out yet; it's just simple too early in his life.

Have you checked into Celiac disease?

I wish I could come up with another idea. Hopefully another mother on this site will.

Good luck!

My daughter is pretty clingy, especially to her dad whe ncomes home after 12 hour days. I just give her a kiss and distract her with something else. LOL she is at my feet now. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. I will put her in her highchair and give her a snack just to get peace. Just a few minutes to regroup. Other times I will hold her and kiss her and then she is fine when I put her down.

When she whines I just repeat "no whining" She makes this awful noise this eehh eehh and it drives me crazy. I just tell her no and tell her the name of what she is after...i.e "drink".

Wish you were closer and id watch them to give you a break!

My son did that. Turned out he was "spirited". There's a great book called Raising Your Spirited Child. They are more intense and often have definite opinions about their world.

I also had a friend with a baby that literally whimpered nonstop. She had a hard time finding sitters because not many people liked it. It ended about when he started talking. He turned out to be an incredibly sensitive and intuitive child. He's really a remarkable guy and has wanted to be a zoo director since he learned about zoos. He's not grown yet, so we'll see if that's true.

There's also a yahoo group called HNchild (which stands for high needs child). Even if you don't join, there's a nice booklist on the description that you may want to peruse.

He may have sensory issues. My son cried a lot an a newborn and needed to be held to sleep at all times. He also seemed much more sensitive/irritable than most children. Your son might need more stimulation than he is currently getting and also finds comfort in being held. I would call Early Intervention and tell them your concerns. These issues are not really all that well known by the general public but there is help since what you describe is not normal.

my daughter whined at 18 months.. then she learned to talk and was much happier.. I think you are probably overwhelmed with 2 young kids alone all day.. can yo hire a sitter to come and give you a break once a week? a few hours away can really help.

also do you get out of the house?? join a moms club or go to the library for story time.. keep the kids busy and they are happy and not so needy.. if you stay home all day they get bored and whiney.

I have a son who was almost as bad with the whining..he is five now and it is better because I can reason with him better. For him (and for my sanity lol) when he was whining JUST to whine I had to force myself to ignore it......and not reinforce the behavior negatively or positively. I would try to distract with toys ect, but he had to develop a way to self soothe and eventually when he figured out the whining DIDNT get mommy's attention it was less frequent. I truely think at that age they get frustrated because they cant verbalize what they want. I can feel for you on the whining though because it is much easier to say to ignore it when you are not the one listening to it ;). As he gets older it will get better!!

And be glad he wants to be next to mommy so much.....must mean he has a good attachment to you. When my son would get clingy I just tried to remember how quick they grow up and soon enough they wont want to be mommy's shadow. :) Hang in there!!

Girls never stop crying :) Boys stop as soon as they know how to communicate well.

my 2 1/2 does that some times it is nothing explainable but he just has mamaidis. sometimes he does it if the weather is going to change. this is why we named him storm. it is a security thing more than anything. then there are days he does it to his bros and dad too and I am left out. I understand it can be annoying and you get sick of it but the older he gets the less he will do it. I let mine go in the kitchen with me when I am fixing dinner and give him plastic dishes to play with. so he will leave me alone or have him bring me a canned good or put my trash in the trash or whatever. he is still with me but not on me and he gets told he is a big boy and is learning to help.

I have two boys neither one behaved like this, my sister has one boy he behaved exactly like this, so it is not all boys. I know my sister just "dealt with it" she figured he was a mommy's boy. She left him with me and my boys once for a birthday party and he literally cried for three hours. I dont know if there are tests or another opinion but if I were I would try something now. He is six and still like this I dont know how she managed to get him to go to school but I do know it wears her out completely