Weaning Kind Of

Updated on November 16, 2009
T.A. asks from Kuna, ID
14 answers

I am a SAHM of a beautiful 1 year old. She just turned one and is still very much wanting to breastfeed. I am not ready to wean her yet and she is for sure not ready but I am wondering how much should she still be nursing. She eats food throughout the day. Never very large amounts but will still nurse in the morning and at night before bed as well as 1-2 times during the day. Usually 5 minutes or so is enough for her during the day and then she is ready to go back to whatever she was doing.
Am I creating bad habit? She doesn't take a pacifier or a bottle(unless she is at daycare, which is 1-2 x's a week) and seems to only be pacified by me.
Should I be weaning her more or just feeding as I have been? Thanks for all your great advice.

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A.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My son was very similar at 1. Around 15 months we started to wean because we were going to try to get pregnant - I hadn't had my period that entire 15 months due to breast feeding and birth control!

Anyway, by 15 months, my son had already dropped his daytime feedings so we just had to drop the morning and bedtime feedings. The morning was super easy because my husband just took him in the morning and gave him a sippy of milk with his breakfast. The bedtime one was harder - but just on me! Again my husband took over the bedtime routine and rocked my son with a sippy of milk - we used up my frozen breast milk before bringing in regular milk - and he was completely weaned by 16 months.

We took it slowly and followed his cues for the most part - he was just ready at the time so we didn't have any drama at all - which truth be told was upsetting to me - didn't he miss our special time together the way I did? But then I realized that instead of nursing, we had more time to snuggle up with stories or just rock in a chair while listening to some music.

Like everyone else has said, you just need to follow your own heart and do what works best for your family. I think at one, kids are starting to gain a lot of independence when they get mobile and that's probably a little scary. My son took the paci and has a special lovely so he was able to self-soothe during the day when he was transitioning so it doesn't surprise me that your daughter is being soothed by breast feeding :)

Best of luck on whatever you decide :)

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

Now is probably the easiest time to wean, but it's really up to you. I have friends who do at least two years, but they usually have a harder time with weaning, too. You could try dropping one feeding a week and substitute yogurt or barely chocolate milk and a good story for your nursing time. I did that at about 15 months with my oldest. The other two had to wean earlier for other reasons. I would have liked to have gone longer. Weaning was always easier for them than it was for me. :) It might be easier to get rid of the paci and bottle first, though. I did that with all my kids except the last who was really attached to the paci. We just cut the end off the paci and she refused it. She was mad for two or three nights, but only fussed for 10-15 minutes. Now (16 mos.) she asks occasionally when she sees someone else with one, but it's not a big issue. GL!

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B.H.

answers from Pueblo on

It sounds to me like you have a pretty good routine going. Although you will probably start to get pressure from others to wean since she is now a year old--IGNORE IT!! I would suggest continuing until at least 18 mos. Weaning at 24 mos. can be a little more work but when the time is right for the both of you, it always just seems to work out. You are doing a Great Job!!

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S.S.

answers from Provo on

Nurse her as much as she wants for as long as she wants. She will wean herself and you will know when it is time to stop. just enjoy it!

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A.M.

answers from Denver on

Feed her :) I think moms are under so much pressure to do the 'right' thing these days and we are bombarded with messages that tell us something is wrong if we nurse our kids past 1. I nursed my daughter until she was 2 1/2 and just let her set the tone. She naturally would drop feedings as she got older and sometimes would have the occasional time of extra need and need to nurse more. You are not creating a bad habit at all and I think you will know it if you are. As long as it is working for you both, keep it up. Our little ones are so comforted by mom and by nursing, it is the best thing in the world! I think when you or your daughter are ready to wean, you will know it. Happy nursing!

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H.W.

answers from Denver on

It really is up to you whether you want to encourage weaning. If you are comfortable with how much she's nursing and eating, then you can continue. My son still nursed numerous (6+) times a day at one (and even at two), so your description of your daughter's frequency seems completely within the range of "normal".

Attending a La Leche League meeting may be helpful to you in sorting out information, thoughts, and feelings on this. It would also help talking to other breastfeeding moms. You can find one at www.llli.org. Look under Resources, Find a Local Leader/Group, USA, your state, then city.

Good luck!

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G.P.

answers from Boise on

You are fine to continue breastfeeding, especially if you both want it. We continued until 14.5 months before weaning. If you are afraid of being a pacifier, make sure that you are treating it like a feeding and not a snack. Breastfeed first, and then give food. I think at 1 year, we were feeding 4-5 times a day - when I went to wean it was 4 times a day. Good luck.

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J.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

T.,

Nursing is definately not a bad habit. It's the best gift you can give your child. Don't be too hasty to end it. Go to www.kellymom.com as a terrific reference for all your breastfeeding questions.

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J.P.

answers from Denver on

Hi T.--
It makes me sad that you even feel like you need to ask this question, and I know it is because our society makes it weird to breast feed a toddler. I did a bunch of research when my oldest turned one and here is what I know. The World Health Organization recommends breast feeding for AT LEAST the first 2 years. If you allow your child to wean themselves (don't offer, don't refuse method that La Leche talks about) the worldwide average that a child will self-wean is between the ages of 3 and 4. Your milk changes as your child grows to suit their nutritional needs, and the immune system benefits continue as long as you decide to breast feed. A cow has four stomach chambers and digests things twice---how would milk designed for a baby cow be better for your child then milk designed for a baby human? So weaning to cows milk doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
The emotional support of breast feeding is also just as important as the nutritional support. There is no way you are creating a bad habit. You are the ultimate source of comfort and safety for your child. By allowing her to have this bond with you, you are creating a safe haven and solid foundation for her. Personality forms by age four. If you teach her that she is always safe and comforted then she will go out into the world with that sense. I know it sounds odd, but it actually will make her more independent in the long run if you allow her to feel safe now. Try looking up attachment parenting for more on this.
Personally, I allowed by oldest to self-wean. He did so just after 3 1/2 years old. He's now 5 1/2--he's very independent and socially secure. By the time he weaned we were down to once a day before nap. My youngest is currently 20 months old and I still breast feed him on demand. Usually that is upon waking up, nap time, bed time, and sometimes in the middle of the night as he sleeps next to me. Once in a while he wants to breast feed if he needs comfort because he hurt himself or got scared, but that is rare. He eats solid foods fine. Both my boys were in low percentiles for weight compared to none breast fed children, but that is normal and evens out between ages 3 and 4. Both my boys nursed about as much as your daughter does now when they turned one.
If you enjoy breast feeding and so does she then there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that you "need" to wean her. It is a personal choice and you have to do what works for you and your child. When it stops working for one of you then it is time to consider weaning. Until that time it is remains beneficial for both you (cutting down on breast cancer risk among other things) and for her (immune system support, extra nutrition, and emotional support).
For more answers I would definitely recommend looking into the La Leche League.
Good luck!
J.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

It's really up to you. If you'd like to wean her to just am and evening feedings, this might be a good time. However, you don't have to - it's your comfort level. Maybe just cut out one of the daytime feedings for a week. Then move to eliminating the other one. Take it slow. She probably enjoys the closeness, so she may not be really happy at first. However, sometimes they surprise us!!!

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Not a bad habit at all. As long as you are both comfortable with it, let her nurse. She's eating throughout the day and only nursing for a few minutes when she does, so it's not interfering with her other nutrition or her activities. When either of you decide you don't want to nurse any more is when it's time to start weaning.

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K.K.

answers from Great Falls on

I nursed my daughter until she was 15 months, but after she started eating more solids, we started cutting back on how often, when as well as where she would nurse. It became just in her room when she woke up in the mornings and when she went to bed at night (I worked so wasn't there to nurse her before naps). It was for the comfort (for both of us). But I didn't want to have her running up to me at a playground or something and pulling up my shirt just whenever she wanted (my own issue, I hope nobody takes offense), so "we" started talking (about 5-6 weeks before-hand,) about how nursing was something that was going to end and I actually put the date of her 15 month 'birthday' (we'll do this for another month, another 2 weeks, after tomorrow no more, last time etc). By then we had dropped the 'wake up' nursing too, so it was just part of the bedtime routine. I had always read to her while I nursed her so afterwards the only difference in the bedtime was that she didn't latch on, but still stayed in my lap, we read the same books etc. It worked really well with her.

Good luck and remember to do whatever feels right for you and your kid especially since nursing is a subject that mommies have strong opinions about.

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P.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Nope...everything is perfect! Let your baby self-wean when she is ready! I nursed 2 boys and the age they both completely stopped is 2 and 1/2. it seems to be when they are ready to explore on their own and "leave their nest" so to speak. Enjoy this time with her...it is precious and in the true scope of things, short lived!

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A.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Sounds about right to me. At 1 my daughter would nurse when she woke up in the morning. A couple of times during the day and then before she went to bed. She would also nurse atleast once during the night.

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