Weaning and Feeling Down...

Hi M.:
I was soooo depressed to stop nursing- even the whole month before my target of 6 months too because I knew it was coming to an end. I get mushy when I see a nursing mom, like I want to jump in there or something haha! I had to do a lot of cognitive self-therapy to get beyond it. Meaning I had made the decision and that was final, I had to focus on that, rather than let the emotions take over. I turned my mind to other things, such as "getting my body back", the lack of inconvenience associated, etc. In the end the thing that made me feel the best was 2 thoughts
1- it couldn't last forever. I knew that no matter when I stopped I would be really depressed, even if I went 3+ years!

2- I will never forget the worst BFing experience i had- pumping while driving the narrow- incredibly crowed- streets of philidelphi while speeding to a client meeting. People literally 1 foot from my non-tinted window, waiting for the bus and looking around, while I sat at a stop light. Due to the time constraints that day, there was nothign I could do. It was crazy!! So focusing on not experiencing things like that really got me through.

I highly recommend homemade baby food- that really helped me get through it too. Although it wasn't nursing, I felt so good doing everything I possibly could to provide the best nourishment to my baby. This was a major help for me (and much better for baby too!!)

I still miss it, but what can you do? You can't nurse forever!
hugs!
-S.

I am actually still nursing my 3 year old daughter approx. 1x a day - sometimes less. She has gradually weaned herself, so it hasn't affected me so much, but I definitly worry about my emotional well being after she stops completely since I've had mild depression/anxiety in the past. I would suggest talking with a counselor and perhaps some meds if it does not get any better. Feel good knowing you nursed your son for over a year - that's great! Hang in there and wish you happy times ahead.

~Annie

Feeling blue is a normal process of quitting nursing. My first two sons stopped nursing at eight and 10 months consecutively, sooner than the one year mark I was aiming for. They both rejected the boo and refused to even consider it when they were done. I was not ready for it either time and there was nothing I could do to change their minds. That left me feeling a bit rejected by them and really upset that I couldn't make it to a year with them nursing.

I felt a horrible sense of longing for that closeness, that intimacy that a mother and her nursing child have together. I was depressed for a good week with moments of sadness weeks later.

Now I have a 19 month old son who refuses to give up his boo. He will fight and pull the nipple out of my bra and shirt. If I don't give in to him, he'll scream for an hour. Giving him a cup only makes him madder (though once in a while it does work, thankfully). Trying to avert his attention works for a few minutes, then he's back at wanting his boo. I love him and I love the bonding but he nurses as frequently as he did when he was six months old. If it was naps and bedtime, then fine. He still wakes up in the middle of the night for a little quencher. Usually it's only once in the night around 3-4 a.m. but last night it was FOUR times. I hope he's teething and that's why. I don't get enough quality sleep because of him.

So I've just given you another alternative besides the sadness you're going through. I don't know if that'll cheer you up to say, "Whew! At least I'm not going through that." LOL Hope so. In the meantime, add in some extra hugs, kisses, and snuggling with him, even if it's only when you're feeling down about not nursing any longer.

On a side note, I wanna shout out a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" to my oldest "baby boy" who turned 17 today.

Hi,
My youngest at 12 months, BIT me and refused to nurse any more after that and she was completely fine. I was prepared to nurse once or twice a day and was in disbelief that she had no interest...

On the positive side - she didn't have to be attached to me and I didn't have to drop whatever I was doing to nurse her...

Fit back in your clothes (I liked my smaller size, not the big knockers I had!!).

I LOVED her independence and am proud that I did what I could...

It sounds like you are busy - now you can have some more focus...
It will pass and you will become stronger.
:)
If you want, become an advocate for breastfeeding - I have let LLL know that if I can be of any assistance, to let me know...
:)

I had to return to work when my son was only six weeks old, financial reasons. By the time he was three months old, he was finished nursing. I formed a habit of rushing home picking him up from the sitter and nursing him at the first sign of fussing.

I remember the day all too well. He was hungry and ready for a feeding. I tried to pop my breast into his mouth and he made such a face like I just gave him poison. He refused to latch on and cried for a bottle. I was heart broken but gave him a bottle.

I remember feeling so sad and rejected. I was an emotional mess for about two to three weeks. It was hard to get back to a state of normal but I did get there. Exercise and proper sleep were critical for getting me there. Hope this helps you.

My boy is 15 now and we have a great relationship.

Hi!
I am sorry that you are feeling sad.
When I breastfed my daughter, I had determined that after her one year birthday, I would stop. However, as it approached I was so upset. Finally, I decided that I wasn't ready and continued to breastfeed her for a few months. I have to tell you what a relief giving myself a little more time was. A few months later, I was ready and happy and everything worked out fine. I had been back to work also, so she was fed formula in the day and I breastfed her in the morning and at night.
Why not consider this? I am sure that you still can continue to some degree?
Wishing you well,
Celia

I hear you- I definitely felt the hormone drop and depression when I weaned my 26 month old. I wasn't even nursing much at that point, but it was really rough for me. I didn't expect it, either, which was part of the problem too.
Time was really all that I needed. Hope you feel better soon!

Hi M.,

I'm not quite in your postition yet as my son is only six months old. But I think about how sad I'm going to be when its time to wean. Theres days where I have to pump all day when I'm out of the house, and I miss him soo much. Its definately a tough thing! Congratulations for making it so long! I hope to do the same thing!

I cried every morning and afternoon for a solid week- I tried nursing him after the week was over and he refused, which made me start sobbing again.

Truthfully, after about a week my hormones leveled out and I was fine, but was I missed the most was the quiet time. It was such a wonderful bonding time for us and time that was just "ours"- couldn't answer the phone, couldn't work on a graduate paper, I refused to multi-task when I was nursing...just rocked with him and talked to him. What helped me was finding another time during the day to just cuddle him and talk. For us, that time was 5:30 in the morning b/c we were the only two people awake! He's 16 months now and still a cuddly boy and he loves that morning time as much as I do!

Hugs M.,
What a great job you did for your baby! With my last baby (now age 10), I nursed for 13 months also, after a very rough beginning. I had to exclusively pump for 9 weeks, then nursed/worked/pumped and had just left my f/t job and was going to get to bf fulltime for the first time! Well, within a couple of weeks, a chronic health issue became active and I needed to go on meds not really compatible with BF so I had to wean suddenly. It was tough! I was very sad for a few weeks. I am glad that I did not know at the time that he was my last baby and I'd never BF again. It's okay to be sad and to accept/admit/acknowledge that. I know that people will say that you should focus on the fact that you successfully BF'ed your baby for over a year (Yay you!) but it is okay to feel a sense of loss and should not be made to feel badly about that.

It was ironic to see this posted, when just today I was thinking how I will feel in about a year and a half from now when I am in that situation.... I am currently pregnant with my 3rd child. I weaned the first two at about 14 months and missed it, but knew we were not done having children. But this will probably be our last and I too think I will be depressed after the baby is weaned. There is such a special bond there and it is hard to let go. I will just focus on the other joys of the growing child and I hope you can do the same. Good luck.