Wean in Order to Get Pregnant?

Sorry to be blunt (it's cost me my relationship with my neighbor), but truth has served me best from my friends when it's come to raising my daughter. Sounds to me like you are only nursing because you are a human pacifer. They must learn to self sooth. If a mother does not teach it when they are children, how are they to do it when they are adults. They must learn these fundamental traits in the loving environment of their home with their parents. My daughter only cried 2 nights when I broke her to her room. (and it was not very long). But since you have waited so long to do so, it will be harder for your son. I'm not against nursing after a year old. I nursed til Audrey was 13 months. But if you are doing it to put him to sleep, you are a pacifer - hands down. I know it's hard - but being a mother is not easy. It's like they are babies dependant on us and every step after that we are teaching them to do things on their own. It's okay for kids to cry. Don't we cry as adults? I don't mean to offend you. I reach out on these sights for honesty. And I appreciate it even when it's not what I want to hear. Take all the advice you get from these, pray about it, and do what feels right to you for your child and family.

I assume ttc is try to conceive? Child led weaning is the safest for your child's psychological and physical health. Often a woman will begin to ovulate while nursing. It is my opinion that it would not be in your child's best interest to wean him before he is ready (sucking need for brain development), to try to conceive. I would let nature take it's course. It is wonderful that your child is still nursing. He will be so much more secure and healthy for it. I applaud you for continuing to nurse him at 16 months of age.
B. S. RN CCM.

Without looking at your responses... I read on www.kellymom.com that Evening Primrose Oil can help nursing mothers get pregnant... not sure if that is if you are already cycling or what and I don't have time to check it out but thought I'd share the tidbit that came to mind when I read your post! Good luck!! :)

I have nursed for years for all three of my girls and I always got my period back when they were eighteen months old. Hold out you are almost there.

i got pregnant nursing, but your odds might be better if you did wean. i was nursing my son and got pregnant when he was about 17 months old. he nursed for another four months or so, but then my milk just seemed to dry up when i was about half way along. he couldn't get comfortable with my big belly, so i think he was nursing less too. our baby (ok, she's three) sleeps with us, and i didn't have to put her in her own bed to night wean. it did take about a week, and i'm against crying too, so we did it gently and it went ok. i completely weaned her when she was 22 months and it was easy. she was day weaned at about 20 months, of her own free will, but then i had an out of town trip that i couldnt' avoid or take her along, so we had to night wean as well . try reading the no cry sleep solution for toddlers. she has lots of ways to help your baby fall asleep, even while co sleeping and while nursing. it is by elizabeth pantley and one of our go-to parenting resources.

Hi A.,

First, Congrats on nursing for so long, I nursed my second son for 17 mos. I would defintely find other ways to get him to sleep. Does he rock? My son nursed to sleep for awhile. Now, I have a good solid routine, his room is dark, I put on a white noise sound machine, and rock him to sleep. Weaning is something that a personal decision, if you are ready and want to it is something you should feel good about. You have gone a long time and that is wonderful! You should start slowly and work your way into cutting times you nurse and substitute whole milk. Is he strickly on breastmilk? If he is then try going to warmed whole milk for a time when he isn't nursing for very long, like a midday meal or early evening. It would be easier for him to not nurse at night if he is in his own bed and not right near his milk source at night. Try a good before bed routine and go to comfort him at night and not nurse him when he wakes up. He really doesn't nutritionally need milk in the middle of the night, so I would either rock or try to pat him back to sleep. It may be a few nights of waking a lot or having a hard time getting back to sleep for him, but eventually he should get it. Good luck! It can be hard to wean, but sometimes it goes better than expected, hopefully it will be that way for you!

Be Blessed,
E. Rose

Hi A.-- Congrats on your success with nursing. My suggestion for weaning would be to consider a nighttime buddy, like a stuffed animal, to help your son transition into his own bed. I would also suggest creating some new night time routines that might include a bath, reading a book, etc, which will als help him transition at night, instead of nursing. Good luck!

L.
www.stcmemoriesfriends.ning.com

WEll here is hw i didn it. I was nursing and we were trying for our last (i had no period) i went on regular bc (orthotrycyclin lo) for a few months and then went off of it got my period and bam i was prego within a couple of weeks =) I nursed my daughhter until i was 5 months along then it hurt so much i HAD to stop. I should add I have read that between 15-18mo is the worst time to wean a child they seem to have the psychological need to do it during those months for comfort,ect. But if you need to wean you could rock him and just keep gentlly saying there is no more milk in mommy and keep a drink nearby so he could have it. IT will be a hard couple of days but I PROMISE it will only be like 1-3 days tops. I have weaned 3 kids already had to do it this way every time. GOod luck.

A.,

In my experience my cycles came back after the children were eating so much. I'd think that all you'd need to do to make your cycle come back is to reduce the nursing enough or increase your son's food. The one time I did get pregnant while still nursing it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy. (I don't think it's related to nursing at all. It's just that I did not carry pregnancies unless the previous child was weaned.) I would encourage you to continue nursing regardless.

K.

You can absolutely get pregnant without weaning. Check out La Leche League International to get information on how to do it right. Their website is very helpful!

Whenever you are ready to wean him, you can best prepare by flipping through Dr. Sears' Nighttime Parenting Book. I think they also have a Sleep Book in their series, and they definitely have a Breastfeeding Book (these are the names of the books; that's why I'm capitalizing them). Dr. Sears has a lot of terrific alternatives to forcing babies to cry it out, and I remember some great suggestions he had for night weaning. These books are such a great investment in one's sanity! And in your child's happiness.

Couple of bucks on amazon.com for a used copy, and worth a million.

L.

My son was similar about sleeping, although I only nursed him once at night. I weaned him at 13 months. I don't know if he would have EVER truly wanted to stop. It was actually easier than I thought. I just replaced his feedings with milk and he didn't seem to mind at all. I did not start a cycle until 3 months after he weaned. I don't think I could have gotten pregnant while nursing...though maybe some can. Everyone's body is different. Good luck.

I know LOTS of moms who have gotten pregnant while still nursing, even when they haven't gotten their periods back yet! I think one of your best bets is to get the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler and especially reading the chapter on breastfeeding and fertility. This will help you to spot signs that you might be fertile without worrying about when your period is or if you even have it. The whole book is really great for ttc, in my opinion. Makes you feel like you know SO much more what's going on, and it's so much LESS of a random shot in the dark.

And then if you decide you want to try to night wean and/or completely wean your son, then I'd suggest Elizabeth Pantley's "The No Cry Sleep Solution" although she has one for babies and one for toddlers and older kids and you're sort of on the brink between the two. But what I mainly get out of that book is that you can do whatever works for you and go however slow or fast works for you and your child and it will work out. And I would suggest that you ttc for a few months before you decide you need to do that--since you never know, you might be pregnant by then! =)

Oh, and just for general reference, I'm still nursing my son at 28 months and he pretty much stopped night-nursing on his own, and he does sleep with us as well....the night stuff didn't stop till he was past his second birthday, but it did stop. Except if he's really sick or something like that, and then I certainly don't mind doing whatever it takes to help him feel better on those special days of illness or trauma or whatever. Oh, and I got my period back at 18 months pp but I had plenty of friends all over the spectrum, getting pregnant at 10 months pp or not having their periods until they quit nursing, etc. etc. Anyway.

Best of luck to you! =)

I too am still nursing my daughter who is 15 months. I would like to wean her, but she still loves to nurse (I still nurse her to sleep and in the night one time). My cycle did return after I started only nursing for naps and nightime. Maybe if you can reduce to only 3 nursing sessions a day, your cycle will return and you can get pregnant and continue to nurse. As for night weaning, I can't help you, I haven't figured that out yet either. I refuse to let my daughter cry it out.
Good luck!!

I got pregnant several times while still nursing (we have nine), but not until I had my cycle, and that did not usually occur until the baby was sleeping through the night. If you want another baby I would strongly urge you to cut out the night feedings, he is old enough to be getting enough food to satisfy him through the night. And, you want him in his own room and comfortably sleeping there through the night before you get pregnant again. He should not feel that the new baby "kicked him out" of your bed or room. I almost always had to endure some crying it out, but he will survive and so will you! You MUST be consistant and not give in. It should only take a few days, but he may cry for an hour before he gives in. Try some soothing music while he falls asleep in his own room, along with a dim night light.

Hi A.,

I have gotten pregnant 2 times while still nursing and have nursed through my pregnanies with no problem.

I nursed a lot and did not introduce anything other than breastmilk until my children were 9 months old and I was still able to get pregnant. I got pregnant after just one cycle both times.

I am currently 9 months pregnant and just now weaning our 2nd child.

Good Luck!