Waiting to Get Pregant at 39! - Chicago,IL

Updated on October 09, 2011
J.V. asks from Chicago, IL
23 answers

My in-laws live in Ireland, so we are scheduled to visit them next July. We have to go in July if we want our children to meet their cousins. In any case, hubby and I decided to have a third child. We just decided after my ovulation window passed (of course), so now we have to wait 6 months to get pregnant so I can fly to Ireland.

Do you think waiting 6 months matters at my age? I know the statistic on genetic problems are so out of date that they are irrelevant, but I sometimes wonder. In 6 months, I will be almost 40. They say the age you get pregnant does in fact matter, as the quality of your eggs does indeed radically go south as you age.......

There is a part of me that doesn't want to wait due to my age, but then another part of me thinks we have no choice. I really want my daughter to get a chance to play at the beach with her English cousins. This means I have to be able to fly in July. There is no option here....yet, I am worried about having issues if I hold off and we don't try till next year... I also can't imagine doing a 9 hour flight 5 months pregnant -- I don't even go near a movie theater when pregnant!

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So What Happened?

My other kids are 3.5 and almost 2. I got pregnant with both on the first try, same with my first pregnancy which was a miscarriage. No clue if we will have as easy a time now, since it has been almost 3 years since I was last pregnant.

Thanks for all the responses. One thing about traveling, travling to Ireland is hard when you aren't pregnant. It's a night flight, and it's morning when you get there. So I will have no sleep that night, especially since I will have to get up every hour to walk around. It will be hard with the two little ones as well, though they will be much older by then.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Why put it off? You may get pregnant with the snap of the finger or it may take a few months right? You may be 5 months pregnant traveling or not at all. I would just go for it.

6 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yes I do think that 6 months can make a difference and if you're serious about wanting to try again then I would get on with it. It could take you longer to get pregnant, you might not be able to get pregnant. I wouldn't want to wonder what if, if I was serious about expanding my family.

4 moms found this helpful

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

You don't say how old your other children are or how long it took you to get preggers w/ them..... i.e are they 10 and 12 and you didn't have an issue... but may now b/c you're a decade older OR are they 3 and 5 and you had no issues and probably won't now b/c your body is essentially the same age. That information would be helpful.

re: traveling at 5 months.... you should be barely showing by then so I wouldn't think you'd be too big and not fir into the seats as well on the plane.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

So many women and myself included will tell you that pregnancies rarely happen as planned. It took me 6 months to conceive our 2nd and number 3 was a complete surprise conceived while consistently using contraception. Miscarriage rate is much higher after 35 years of age (25-30% end in loss vs. 20% before age 30) and unfortunately risk of genetic mutations causing defects also occurs at a higher rate. Our body ages and so do our eggs, but the healthier you are right now the better chance you have of having a healthy baby. Nutrition is more important than we ever believed so says current research.
So, if you want to give yourself the best shot at a healthy baby/pregnancy, probably better not to wait. You are wise to consider the effects of travel on your pregnancy plans. Pregnancies are highly unpredictable--one can be perfectly healthy one pregnancy and a year or 2 later conceive again and have complications/miscarriage. Taking a newborn to Europe wouldn't have been easy or wise either given the recent concerns about vaccine preventable diseases such as measles, mump and pertussis. I think this may be one of those hard choices you have to make, add to your family OR travel to Ireland next year. Sometimes you just can't do both. Wishing you the very best as you add to your family. Nurse Midwife Mom

3 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Don't wait to try - you don't know how long it'll take. Just do it. Honestly, got pregnant while my husband was working in Los Angeles and I was living in SF area. I drove to see him on most weekends till I was 6 months pregnant - it was a 5 hour drive at the shortest. And for some reason I carried REALLY compactly - I looked 6 months pregnant at 9 months, and my son was 7.7 at birth.

Unless you have turbulence the whole way, you should be fine with getting up and moving around as you need to. You may feel perfectly comfy. You could even ask to switch seats with someone to be near the bathroom. Don't put your life on hold. And imagine how freaked out excited the family would be if you show up with a baby bump.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

Considering your age it may take at least 6 months to get pregnant. I would talk with your doctor and see. Personally, I would wait 2 or 3 months and then start trying. Travel at 3 or 4 months isn't a big deal.

I flew across the country at 7 months. You just have to make sure you walk up and down the aisles frequently, wear loose-fitting clothing and don't sit with crossed legs!

3 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

Don't wait. not because of medical problems and stats.. you are assuming you will get pregnant easily.. just because it might have happened easily the first go round, doesn't mean it will again.. I have too many friends both young and older who tried to get pregnant and thought they would right away, turned out they did not... in my opinion... I would start now...... then again, this is my opinion.... you have much to weigh.. but way it all honestly with yourself knowing that you do not have control of nature.... one can make plans but it doesn't always mean they turn out "as planned"

either way, I wish you the best

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✩.!.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wouldn't let the anxiety/fear (or whatever if may be) of flying at 5 months pregnant hold you off from having your 3rd child now. I would find coping mechanisms to help you to be able to fly at 5 months pregnant and go and enjoy. (I hope this is read were sincerety b/c I am not trying to be snippity... I really hope you are able to become pregnant and still be able to visit in Ireland).

I wish you luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

there is nothing wrong with being pregnant 39. there is plenty wrong with a obgyn who decides to stress you about it though, because he is just looking to make those yacht and private school payments. and you cant fly pregnant, so you might as well wait. i was pregnant for the first time at forty and my obgyn ( dr hyde of va. phys. for women), tried every bullying tactic under the sun to get me to sign up for every genetic test known to man, this jerk even tried to talk me into letting him sew my uterus shut ! because he claimed my baby might "fall out", please.
K. h

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P.D.

answers from Detroit on

My only thought (if it were me trying to become pg) is that I would be too far along to fly. 5 months is not too far along! I think you will manage the flight. Just get up and walk to the bathroom once an hour, so you're moving around. At 14.5 weeks pg with twins, I went on a 5 hour flight to CA. It wasn't so bad. So, try now if you really want to. GL!

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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

I traveled cross country at 6 months and it really wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The worst part is that I had to get up and walk the aisles every hour per my doctor's orders, which was not that easy since the aisles are small. I see no reason to wait!

2 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I don't really think that 6mos will make a difference at this point.
I know the "guideline age" is 35, and you're past that point of course.
I can't imagine that in 6mos, your eggs would take a significant downturn in quality to wherever they are now.

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M.B.

answers from Chicago on

If I'm not mistaken you can travel into your 7th or 8th month - so, I calculate the longest you would really need to wait is until Feb? I was 40 when I got pregnant with number 2. I traveled internationally 3x, the last time at 5 months. Life is unpredictable - there are many reasons why you might not get pregnant right away, or your trip might change.

You have three options:

Wait 6 months
Wait only a couple of months and travel a bit further along
Get pregnant right away and POSTPONE your trip to Ireland.

Only you and your husband will know what the right thing to do is.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

I would pray on it. What is your strongest feeling? Either way I think you will be fine. I just had my 2nd child in January & I was 42 at the time. Baby & I are perfectly fine.

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R.M.

answers from Chicago on

YES fertility declines significantly with age. If you really want another child, don't put it off.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Chicago on

I flew to Ireland at 32 weeks when I was 36 years old with no problems. I brought doctors consent note and copy of medical records just in case. BTW the airline never questioned my pregnancy. Ireland medical care is equal to ours Dublin would be ideal location if you need care. On the plane I wore TED hose and took a baby aspirin prior to flight. If flying pregnant is your only concern - I would not hold off.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I was 39 when I delivered my son. I had a completely normal pregnancy, free of any complications whatsoever.
Yes--we are born with all of the eggs we'll ever have so your eggs will be also "39" when you conceive.
Six months in the scheme of a lifetime really isn't all that much.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I don't know your fertility history, but if you want a baby, try for one.
If you are pregnant in July THEN decide what to do.
I had my youngest at 39, my others were 2 and 3. I could not believe how tired I was. I wouldn't wait any longer.

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

Yes age matters to a degree! I had my first at 37, second at 41 and am 10 weeks pregnant at 43. We decided to have our family later because my husband constantly travels and was never home. His time spent at home now, at least includes a couple of days during the week and the weekends. Our first two were conceived as soon as we decided "the time is right". Our third took us almost 6 months because of our schedules with travel - either he was away or I was overseas. I get now how sometimes you have to "save the date!"
Obviously the final decision is personal to your family, but why wait? If you don't want to be too far in to your 40's when you have baby then it is far easier to rearrange your travel plans - I'm sure if the reason is because the Grandparents are going to be Grandparents all over again, they won't mind a bit! It may or may not be easy for you to get pregnant again. It does get harder being older and carrying a baby, just because your body is not 20 any more, but it can be done. Statistics for genetic problems increase significantly past 40, but again it depends on your personal attitude as to how you will handle any potential problems. Certainly there are many choices for genetic testing and what you do with that information once you do the testing.

I used to work in the airline industry and you can definitely travel late in to your pregnancy but the main thing would be your own personal discomfort carrying an extra little person around in your belly and chasing a little one too, either staying with family or in hotels, moving around and not being "at home". I'll be 5 months when I travel almost 24 hours door to door, down to NZ with a 6 year old and 2 year old. My children are seasoned travelers, but the little one still hasn't mastered watching a tv screen for long and wants to visit with all the other passengers every 5 minutes. I am not looking forward to the journey - I think this will be the last time I do it alone.
Good luck what ever your decision!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.B.

answers from Chicago on

Quick little story: I got pregnant on the 2nd try with my first child and it took more than 6 months with my second child. Don't know why it was harder...granted, it was also 6 years later...

My SIL got pregnant on the 2nd try with my niece. Now, 4 years later, she's been trying to get pregnant again for almost 2 years!! So, while it was easy once, she's having an incredibly hard time getting pregnant again. She's currently 38.

You just never know how quickly or long it will take to get pregnant once you decide to start trying. All that being said, I also travelled often while I was pregnant with both kids--for work before I was a SAHM. I've done the red-eye flights (not 9 hrs worth, but 3-4 hrs, which isn't the same--I know). I've RUN through the airport to catch a flight at 7 months. I refused to travel after 8 months, but before that was no problem as long as I stretched my legs, drank plenty of water and rested as much as possible. My son loves the story of how he actually went to the San Diego Zoo...when I was 5+ months pregnant with him! And my daughter got to party it up (haha) in Las Vegas when I was 5+ months pregnant with her.

In the end, it's your choice and what you're comfortable with. But if a pregnancy is normal, travelling really isn't that huge of a deal--just make sure you give yourself extra time to get from place to place so you're not rushing around adding extra stress.

Good luck!

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B.C.

answers from Tampa on

Just go for it, have fun! Good luck!!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

the simple answer is absolutely YES, regardless of your history.

YES it matters now.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.

answers from Chicago on

It absolutly matters! As we age, our eggs age with us, causing those genetic problems. Don't just dismiss them. We are exposed to all the toxins & pollution in the enviornment, which effect our eggs and adds to the difficulty of women getting pregnant after 40. Getting pregnant naturally after 35 is difficult for most women. If you do wait, you may need a fertility specialist (you may even need one now) if you don't get pregnant within the first 3 month of trying. Don't wait to see someone if it doesn't happen after 3 months. Good luck to you!

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