Very Fussy Baby and Quite a Tired Mommy

Updated on July 02, 2012
S.F. asks from West Palm Beach, FL
16 answers

My 9 week old daughter has been very fussy the past couple of weeks at bed time. We start our winding down process around 7:00ish with the intent of hoping she will go to bed between 7:30-8:30. Usually this process involves a nice bath, lotion, and always breastfeeding and rocking. Lately she has been fighting the sleeping process soooo badly. She thrashes her arms and legs and just cries a lot. She often will fall asleep nursing. After a little burp (which she usually sleep thru), she is put to bed. Within minutes she is thrashing her arms and legs and crying. This seems to go on until 9:30 or later. I know that she is very tired, but she just won't sleep. My hubby and I take turns so that neither one of us completely loses our patience. Any advice? I gave her some Colic Calm today thinking maybe she had gas (she has not had colic yet). She fell asleep shortly after, but I think it was because she was just soooo tired. She does get a pacifier if she needs it, but it doesn't always help. I should mention that we have had family in town and I know that she has had more stimulation than usual. I am sure this is partly to blame, but she was acting this way a little bit before they came.

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T.M.

answers from Redding on

If she's thrashing her legs and arms it means you need to swaddle.
I havent read the other responses, but my guess is that they are telling you the same.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Have you tried swaddling? Some babies really like it and find it very comforting after being so snug in the womb, the outside world feels big and open to them. http://www.target.com/s/swaddleme

See if you can find the book Happiest baby on the block.

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

"The Happiest Baby On the Block" saved my sanity, made my daughter happy and made me a better parent in general.

We would swaddle our daughter as tight as we could and held her while sitting on an excercise ball. The harder we bounced, the happier she was! It also makes for fabulous butt muscles. :)

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

1) Try an hour earlier. Sleep begets sleep with wee ones. The earlier they go down, and the more often they go down... the later and longer they sleep. Miss that 'window' and get overtired, and they'll fight sleeping for ages, and wake up a lot earlier.

2) Try burping longer. Many babies have a 2nd, or even 3rd. A few are 'marathon' burpers... meaning patting gets a little one off the get go, but then a Trex Bwarrrrrrrp that's bigger than they are after 30-60 minutes.

3) Some babies like swaddling. Some hate it. Some can't sleep without it (arms and legs wake them up), others can't sleep with it (keep trying to get their arms and legs out).

4) Pain
- Ears
- Sinus
- Refux
Are all kinds of pain that show up when babies are laid down (head about to explode, or throat catches on fire).
* An INTERIM fix for this is a carseat. Have them sleep sitting up / semireclined. Lets the fluids either drain, or keeps most of the acid in the belly. This isn't a perm fix. All 3 need to be dealt with medically.

5) Too Hot/ Too Cold... dress more, dress less

6) Smells weird... rub her sheets all over you before the shower. Gross, right? Under your breasts, armpits, face, the works. Voila. A mama-smelling-sheet.

7) Too Quiet... music

8) too exiciting... shorten the routine

9) there are more. There always are. but these are the ones off the top of me' head.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Only an hour or two of 'the witching hour' doesn't seem that bad to me.
Colic typically is 6 or more hours of eardrum piercing screaming.
Ear plugs become a necessary survival tool with colic as you rock and rock and rock the poor child hour after hour after hour.
What does your doctor say?
With company over, stimulation is one factor, but are you eating anything (party/company food) you normally don't eat when there are no visitors?
Maybe something not usually in your milk is having an effect on her.
But if it's not happening after every feeding, I'd toss that idea out.
Gas drops are a good idea.
Try to burp her more in an upright position (a gas bubble getting into a tender spot can hurt).
Start her bed routine earlier and see if it makes a difference.
If your Mom or other family member can watch the baby for an hour or two during the day, take the opportunity to catch a nap yourself (or nap when the baby naps) so you don't build up a sleep deficit.

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I would feed her and let her sit in a swing or bouncy seat for a bit while you get ready for bed, read, do chores, whatever you have to do before actual bedtime. This is after the bath and lotion readiness. Then when you are ready to go to bed or put her down for the night I would feed her and then swaddle her. Then put her down for the night hopefully. Also babies pick up on your stress and changes in lifestyle so easily so if you had family in town that probably messed up her routine and others holding her, etc. affected her sleep and settling down time. If she wakes after you feed her and swaddle then try the pacifier and see if that helps. I sometimes would lay the baby down in the crib when that young, pat the baby on the side or in my case the bottom as my kids slept on their stomachs, and then hum quietly for a minute or put on some quiet music just to quiet them. It may work and it may not work or it may work one night and not the next. Be flexible. I hope she'll get on a good routine soon for you.

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

My first daughter was like this - every night for *hours* she would scream and cry until she was just exhausted...then she'd nurse to sleep (finally!) - for the first 8 months. We had undiagnosed thrush for nearly that whole time (don't ask how we missed it) and I'm sure that was a contributing factor. I often gave her Oval or gripe water and it seemed to help. But honestly, the best thing was walking with her.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that she outgrew it and my next two babies slept like....well...babies! hahaha

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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

My son did the same thing at that age, he finally figured out how to roll over, now he sleeps on his tummy, he is much more comfortable that way. Try laying her on her belly when you put her down, I know its not the 'right' way to put them to bed, but not all babies are comfy on their backs. Try it first at naptime if it makes you nervous, that way you can keep an eye on her.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Infants have growth-spurts every 3 weeks. So 9 weeks is a spurt.
Then growth-spurts occur at 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and every 3 months.
At growth-spurts, babies and kids get tweaked.

Does she nap during the day?
Infants nap a lot. They typically get tired about 2 hours of being awake.
And for an infant, even a bath, is an activity.
If over tired they can't sleep.
And they get fussier.

Also, yes, gas can really cause pain.
My daughter as an infant, had a lot of gas.
But she rarely farted. I noticed that.
Mylicon infant gas drops helped her a lot.
And yes, she got this way, more so at night.
Or I would rub her tummy in circular motions and bicycle her legs.
Their organs are still immature, hence they can get gas.

Babies often fall asleep during nursing.

And yes, babies get EASILY over stimulated and then over tired, and then they get fussy. And for a baby, since they can't talk, fussying and crying is the way they "shut-out" over stimulation.

Make sure as well that you are nursing on-demand day and night 24/7, not on a schedule. Because, a baby everyday, is changing and their appetites, and if fed on a schedule it does not address a baby's hunger cues or needs.

No baby though, will sleep the same all the time, nor at each age juncture. It changes. And per their developmental/cognitive/and motor skills changes.

When using a pacifier... make sure that the need for this is not used to "replace" feedings, and hunger. If baby is hungry, a pacifier will not help.

Infants feed every 3 hours or so. OR less. Babies also do what is called "cluster feeding" and it means that they even need to feed every single hour. Because, they are needing it.

And maybe, with visitors in town, her usual sleep schedule was thrown off and/or she didn't get to nap.

Also, babies have a startle reflex. Their appendages flail. Because, at this young age, they do not have, control over their reflexes or limbs. But as they get older, they will naturally grow out of this. Until then, yes, the startle reflex wakes them. And they flail. So that is why, some people swaddle their infants.

Here are some good articles/links:
http://www.heartswaddle.com/infant-sleep-facts/
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_age_does_a_baby_outgrow_ne...

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

If she can lift and turn her head while on her tummy, try it.

Our daughter was able to do this very young and it really helped her sleep so soundly.

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

If she cries when you lay her down, but not when she is sitting up/snuggling in your arms, could she have some acid reflux going on? Try letting her sleep in a swing or infant seat and see what happens. These are above the 30 degree angle recommended and it might help.

Also, and/or you could try and give her 1 or 2 ml of mylanta or store generic, and see if that makes her feel better. This does both gas and acid reducer. I used it for my little guy and it sure made a difference. I also had a lot of success with Hyland's Colic pills. If our ideas don't help, then post again what you did try so we can guess other things.

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was already thinking it but when I saw she's had more stimulation than usual I thought, "Bingo!" But since they haven't been with you the whole time it could be a combo of things.

I'd try keeping her as quiet as possible more of the time, rather than playing and talking with her to see if this helps. Excessive holding can make their bodies hurt, I found this out after social functions where several had held my little ones, our pediatrician confirmed it. Sometimes their little minds and bodies get overly tired and stimulated, making it very hard for them to calm down and relax, I noticed this with all of mine.

Colic would more than likely have shown up before 7 weeks, and causes babies to cry in ear piercing screams for hours, so I'm not sure this would be it. She could be uncomfortable, too warm or too cool, so try adjusting her clothing and adjust thermostats. My daughter and my little guy were newborns through the summer, both of them loathed anything on more than a onesie and diaper, my oldest was a winter baby but if he was too warm he would scream to high heaven and get happier as I peeled his clothing off looking for a problem ; )

Do try swaddling if you haven't. None of mine cared for it but my nephew loved it for many months, it was the only thing that kept him quiet at nap and bedtimes, otherwise he screamed and thrashed. Also, keep the lights low while you bathe her, and throughout the rest of her bedtime routine by using dimmers. Talk to her in hushed tones throughout her routine, whispers really, all to slowly relax her. Keep her room as dark as possible for naps and bedtime, using a shade or blinds, and keep something on for white noise, a fan turned away from her that she can hears usually works.

Oh, and is she getting more than 16 hours of sleep total per day, naps + nighttime? If so she might be getting enough sleep and not ready for it when you are.

Hope you can get some rest soon : )

http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-basics-birth-to-3-...

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J.B.

answers from Rochester on

Have you tried laying with her? My oldest was fussy and slept best when he slept next to me.

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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

Is she too big to swaddle...my son hated it, but my daughter slept like a rock when she was all wrapped up tight as a burrito. It might work...

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N.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Have you tried the 5 S's? Swaddle (as others have mentioned), side/stomach (many babies calm down being held belly down or laying on their side - also helps to release gas if that's an issue), "ssssh!" (you can actually say this pretty loudly - it supposedly mimics the sound in the womb), swing (you can also use the "belly down" hold in conjunction with this), and suck (nursing/pacifier).

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T.O.

answers from Jacksonville on

I feel you! My first born had the gas and was fusing alot in the begining. I pumped and then gave it to her in a bottle or just formula. I wasnt the greatest eater and she wanted the formula more. It wasnt til i gave her homompathic medicine for GAS and changed her bottles, and switched to lactose formulas that she stopped. I Know your breastfeeding so i wonder if it is something in your diet. My mommy friends who breastfeed have had similar problems. Some has to cut out milk. Usually its the dairy that is the problem. Try drinking lactose free milk, or soy, or almond milk. Also, dont eat other foods with dairy for a week. It will take a few days(about 3) for you to know if it is working.
Also, my girls really loved sleeping on people's chest. Helped with gas and comfort them greatly. My hubby would watch TV or nap in chair with them. They were at an angle that worked so good that the doctor told us to put a small pillow under the crib mattress. Bonus it helped with the acid reflux too.

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