Upcoming Delivery Causing a Bit of Anxiety

I hope your current doctor is not the same one as you had with the first baby. Sounds like poor decisions on his/her part.

I realize you are eager to ahve a normal vaginal delivery - but can you not schedule a c-section? My first child was a vaginal delivery - pretty quick - no epidural or pain medication of any kind. It was a godo delivery and a quick recovery. My second child was an emergency c-section. He was too large (22.5 inches & 10 lbs) and his neck was bent all the way back with his chin presenting. IN order to save his spine and my rectum I had a c-section. It *was* a longer recovery. But baby and I were both healthy. Had I know he'd be a difficult delivery I'd have opted for a c-section ahead of time.

I would think that since you've had two non-routine deliveries you'd be a candidate for a c-section. This is the 21st centure - we have modern medical technology that allows for health babies and trauma-free deliveries. There is no better or best way to deliver you child. 100 years ago childbirth was the leading cause of death among women in that age group. It wan't uncommon for babies to die too. Let's forget about what we imagine as "the ideal" and go for waht gives us the best chance of a smooth and healty delivery for all.

All the best mama!

My two were very different, and similarly traumatic.
In the end...both kids came out and are fine. That's really all you need to be concerned with and sure of.

My only suggestion is to not be so hung up on going without an epidural that it causes other complications for you. Does the birth experience have any impact on how you parent? Does it make you a better or worse mother (NO!). If a little planning allows you and baby to be healthy and have a smooth delivery, then that is the route you should take.
That's about it.

I have epidurals with both kids, and both were totally fine.
It might be worth considering just scheduling a c-section. But if you are committed to doing it yourself, make sure you walk through time tables with your doctor and partner so everyone knows what should be happening at which stage.
And then... be prepared to toss it all out the window when it doesn't go accoding to plan! :)
Good luck!

Please remember that each baby and delivery is different from the others. Continue to think positive ,it makes such a big difference. Also know that alot of times the more babies you have the the faster the labor progresses, not 100% true , but ,more the case than not. Sooo, be very aware of pains, water breaking and so forth the closer you get to term. And speak with your doctor about the effects of the epidural on baby if you need reassurrance,it normally isn't the epidural that causes distress,not impossible but,... again speak to your doc and express your fears. The anxiety this could bring on could cause you/baby some issues, because it will affect you physically. Try to get as much rest as possible the closer you get and don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family as you already have two children to take care of, and it makies it easier said than done.
Best Wishes for an easy delivery and healthy baby, C. S.

Every delivery is different. I just had my 3rd at 41, and she was soooo easy.

There are a few things to keep in mind: anxiety causes pain. Mind is over matter. If I was you, i'd start investigating natural childbirth aids. I think there are some meditation guides out there. it's all about the breathing. With my last baby, i didn't even feel transition! I was just walking and breathing, I then went to go pee before climbing in the tub, and my water broke. I was thinking I still had the bulk of the pain to go, and my midwife said,"it's time." I was stunned! If you can control the anxiety, and breath, it really isn't painful (well, the two pushes did burn a little, but it was well worth it!)

I am also 28 weeks pregnant, with my 2nd baby.

My first was a pretty easy, non-traumatizing, natural, 10 hour labor and delivery... And even I am getting some anxiety as the due date grows closer! I think that it's pretty normal for the most part :)

Hopefully you have a good relationship with your doctor. Have a very frank conversation about your fears. Make a plan, unfortunately things don't always go by the plan, but I think an honest discussion will relieve your fears a little.

I know it is difficult, but try to focus on the wonderful baby that you'll finally be able to see and hold. Close your eyes and imaging holding your baby and seeing that wonderful little face looking up at you with love and complete trust. Do this as a form of meditation whenever you feel the anxiety creep up.

Good Luck and Congratulations!

M.

Affirmation is a positive thought that you can say to yourself as you are preparing for labor and delivery - "My baby and I are connected in love".
If your schedule and funds support it, I suggest you seek out a class in prenatal yoga. You might look at the website of www.birthlink.com to find service providers and also have a birthing consultation with JoAnn Lindberg the founder of birthlink. Another affirmation "My labor, however it goes, will be right for me..."
I've had three births and the experience of working with prenatal yoga students for the past eight years. I encourage you to find what is nearby where you live because being with the community of prenatal women in a prenatal yoga class can give you additional support.
Know that you are loved by other Mamas!
Gentle HUGS!
C.
PS. Know that you are blessed by the two children that you do have and that your goal is a healthy baby and healthy mama. You are asking the right questions to have your birthing plan and you are flexible about your birthing plan for this upcoming delivery:-)

That first doctor had NO business letting you labor for 36 hours. Good grief. Even more, he had no business letting you labor with meconium dripping out of you. No wonder the baby had an infection. I surely hope that you don't have the same doctor anymore.

My second child was face up too. My nurse, who was actually a midwife outside of the hospital, actually turned my son so that he could be born. (I had never met this doctor who was filling in for the weekend before that evening. He did birth my son, but I give my nurse the credit for figuring out that my son was OP...) I did have an epidural, but not much medicine in it. Just enough to cover my stomach. THANK GOD for that.

If I were you, I'd ask for a sonogram to make sure your baby is face down, and I'd have that epidural. An epidural can actually make you relax enough that you dilate a lot faster, if the baby isn't OP. My first baby was like that. I labored and labored to get to 4 cms - wow. When I finally got there, they gave me the epidural and boom, 20 minutes later I was at 10. Don't just discard the idea of an epidural.

Good luck and I hope you have a positive experience this time!

As someone who has also had a VBAC, I completely understand wanting another one. I will never understand the phrase "just get a c-section." "Just" have yourself filleted like a fish, while you are awake, no big deal! Shudder.
Your last baby was face up, but you delivered him. You know FOR A FACT that you can deliver a baby vaginally. There is a very good chance that this baby will be more cooperative and come out face up. That will make things inherently easier! I would highly recommend talking to a very experienced midwife or doula. They actually care about you, mentally and emotionally, and not just getting the baby out in the most convenient way. They will have wonderful suggestions for working through your fear and embracing your amazing ability to do this. It is not just about staying positive- you can deliver that baby. You absolutely can, I believe in you. This will be the experience that you have been working towards. Birth hurts, there is no getting around that. Don't be afraid, because there is nothing you can do to change it. You will get through it, it will not be as bad as you fear, and you will be on here in a matter of week telling us about your incredible birth experience. You will.

First delivery was different from the second so I have to think that your 3rd will be unique too. Keep up those positive thoughts and I'm sure it'll be great.

With me 1st baby was 10 hrs of back labor, dr who showed up about a half hour later than he should have who did an episiotomy with no numbing first, and a long recovery period after. Second baby basically delivered herself within 2 hrs of arriving at the hospital. No episiotomy, just a little tear that required 2 stitches. 3rd was twins would have been a c section if I stayed with my first dr but I changed and ended up with vaginal deliveries with both. Son ended up in NICU for several days due to blood sugar issues but we all made it home safe and sound. 3 different deliveries all ending the same way with happy healthy babies. You'll end up with the same I'm sure.

I was in labor 36 hrs with our son.
I had no plans to do without an epidural and it worked flawlessly for me.
I went 16 hrs before the epidural and it was wonderful to be able to rest - I actually got some sleep in the hospital over night.
Without that rest I don't think I could have pushed him out - I probably would have had to have a c-section.
20 hrs later we had our son 9 lbs 1.5 oz born vaginally.
If the thought of the pain is bothering you, you do have pain management options that are available.
Childbirth is stressful on the child whether you have any help with the pain or not.
The child passing merconium happened before you had your epidural.
Every pregnancy/birth is different so it's possible this time around you'll have a different experience.
I just don't tolerate pain very well.

The only thing that would cause me stress would be no epidural. I want that, and nice and early.

It sounds like there were issues with the first delivery.