Trying for Baby #2 - Champlin,MN

Updated on September 10, 2009
A.M. asks from Minneapolis, MN
22 answers

I need any advice I can get. We are trying for a second baby and after 4 months no pregnancy yet. I realize I need to be patient but we had such an easy time with #1. Are there any good websites anyone would recommend or just any good advice you received or youmay just have for me. Thank you!!

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

Get a Clearblue Easy fertility monitor. They are easy to use and everyone I know that has used one (including me) has gotten pregnant within a couple of months! You can get them at drugstores or even find them on ebay cheaper.
HTH,
A.

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C.S.

answers from Green Bay on

Hi A. - I am such a true believer in natural family planning. I'm always surprised what a "reputation" it has. I went through difficulties as well and it turns out, once I learned to chart my cycle, how easy it was to learn the days I ovulate, etc. We women are all about hormones and pregnancy is all about hormones. Not everyone "ovulates on Day 14", like the books like to tell you. Once you chart your cycle once or twice, you'll see how you vary from others. And you'll learn the best days to try. It's also much easier than you think. There are books out there that teach the thermo-symptom method, but I'm sure there's classes near you somewhere, and it's much easier to learn from an instructor (this is a one-on-one). It's pretty awesome, actually. I'd highly recommend it. I have three little ones now. I went through so much "medical diagnostics" trying to get pregnant and not one doc said, "hmmm, might be hormonal". Turns out that's all it was. I had a defective luteal phase - a little progesterone supplement the last 15 days of my cycle was all I needed. Check it out!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Have you tried the Clear Blue Easy Ovulation Kit? It worked for my husband and I as we wanted to get pregnant with our first child and my husband was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. Hope it works for you too!

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S.F.

answers from Madison on

I recommend getting the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It is full of useful information every women should know. I found it very helpful when I was trying to conceive.

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

A good website to talk to other people experiencing similar issues is www.fertilichat.com.

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K.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I'm going to detour slightly from the TCOYF suggestion (and it is a good one) and ask if you've talked to your doctor at all. You could have something medical going on, especially if you had a c-section with your first baby. Your husband could also have something going on. My SIL/BIL got pregnant with their first no problem, and after almost two years of trying for number two, found out he had an issue that required surgery. They don't know if he developed the problem after she got pregnant the first time, or if he had it the whole time, and my nephew was a "miracle baby." I think a year of trying is considered "normal," but it can't hurt to ask your doc about it.

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

I also recomend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It is very informational. And a pretty easy read.

It took us 6 months to conceive our daughter (although we had a miscarriage before her. Got pregnant with that one without even trying the first month we were married.)

Then we got pregnant twice with-out trying but miscarried both. Then we got pregnant with our son the first or second month of trying. And with the last pregnancy, we were trying for 7 months then I read this book. Got pregnant after 2 more months of trying and miscarried at 11 weeks......

I agree with the post of trying to NOT THINK ABOUT IT. As hard as that is. We seem to get pregnant the months we don't concentrate on our desire to have more children. How to not think about it is hard. Even though I'm trying that method right now, I find myself still at the calendar counting days and watching my discharge..... I just counted again tonight~~LOL.

Good luck. I wish you all the best/

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H.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I read thru the other posts and just thought I'd add my experience.

Baby#1 came super easy... two months of "trying" and we were pregnant.

I expected the same with #2 so after 7 months I was nervous and a little scared.

I was using the BCP as I had before my daughter, but this time I was a little worried that maybe I was miscarrying because I would think that I was pregnant (signs symptoms) but no positive test and no period...then boom, I'd get my period...time after time.

Turns out I wasn't ovulating. I went to my DR. he gave me the lowest dose of cholmid and the very next month I was pregnant.

My son will turn one in about 2 weeks!

Moral of my story...Check into all of the possibilities before wrecking your brain over it.

GOOD LUCK

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S.P.

answers from Omaha on

I know it has already been mentioned, but I wanted to share with you my vote for "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." We got pregnant within three months using the natural family planning method in that book. My friend recommended it to me whenever she used it and got pregnant quickly using the method. I have suggested the book to two of my friends and one got pregnant within two months and another got pregnant on the first month they tried.

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J.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

We tried for over 6 years trying different things and finally found a doctor that put me on a medication to help with PCOS. We were also going through the adoption process and were 4/5 the way done when Miracle Baby #1 came. Then we've tried for the past year when my daughter was 9 months old (dr.'s orders with a C-section). We had just given up and I've been focusing on a new job and what do you know...pregnant with miracle baby #2!

My best advice since you've already been pregnant once before is to just focus on something else. It amazes me how much that really plays a role.

Find a new hobby or start a big project that will take a few months to do. It will take at least that long for you to really get consumed and for that little voice in your head to go away of "I'm really not trying...I'm just thinking about it!"

Good luck!!! I know the feeling and NEVER thought it would happen twice!

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

www.fertilityfriend.com is great.
It took me 9 months to get pregnant the first time, 8 months the next 2 times, and my current baby was a complete surprise. Don't get discouraged. Just be patient and know it will happen in time. Good luck!

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K.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

Have you tried accupuncture? You can get it both before your pregnancy and during (needle placement is different depending on your status). I used it during my first trimester to support me and the fetus. I had two previous MC and didn't want to have a third. Worked for me!

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K.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

hi A.,
the best book i have ever read to NOT get pregnant and then to get pregnant was "Your Fertility Signals". it really explains how to watch for ovulation.

good luck~

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M.W.

answers from Green Bay on

Hi A. -

I highly recommend the Clear Blue Easy fertility monitor! It was recommended to me by many people - we had been trying on and off for almost 2 years - i used the monitor 3 months - the first two months it is getting to know your norm and the one time we had sex on only the peak ovulation day - we got pregnant!

Good luck to you - I know how frustrating it can be!!!

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C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I spent a great deal of time researching my body's cycles, and paying attention to the physical signs my body produced indicating my most fertile times of the month. I used an ovulation kit, and just did basic online research as to what cues were present during ovulation. Another tip--don't tell your husband when you are "trying" to conceive! It really messed with my husband when he knew we were having sex to produce a child, so I just kept that information to myself, and he was fine. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. My first child was a surprise baby ( a happy surprise, mind you) but actually working to get pregnant after one where you didn't work is an entirely different situation. Eventually, it will happen--my second will be three this April, so there's the prof! Good luck.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

We also got pregnant with our first right away, but it took 8 months to get pregnant with our second child (I was 33). I also know someone who at age 38 it took 11 months to get pregnant. At my annual exam I mentioned to my doctor that it had been taking awhile (we'd been trying for 6 months at the time). She said she didn't think there was anything to be concerned about, but that my husband and I could both get tested to make sure there wasn't anything that had changed since the first pregnancy and to "rule out" any reproductive issues for peace of mind.

Long story short, I had my fallopian tubes tested. My doctor said as she was doing the procedure that she'd seen patients of hers get pregnant the month they had the procedure done. She said as the dye is injected it also clears/clean out the tubes. I thought to myself, "yeah, right." Well, we got pregnant that month... could be a coindidence. The doctor also told us that we were possibly having intercourse too often (sometimes 2x a day). She said once a day, alternating time of day (morning, afternoon, night) should be sufficient.

Had we not gotten pregnant that month I was going to go on Clomid and we were going to try interuterine insemination (IUI).

Be patient, but don't hesititate to see your doctor and discuss your questions/concerns. If he/she knows your plans for more children, he/she can help you.

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L.G.

answers from Milwaukee on

just to really make the point i'll echo some of the other women...all you need is the book "taking charge of your fertility"! consider it the conception bible. seriously

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D.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

There are books available about fertility and tips on how to figure out when you are ovulating. Have you tried an ovulation kit? They predict the 2 best days to try and conceive. Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Here's some things that I thought I'd share in my LONG path to experiencing infertility recently... I apologize if its lengthy. But its in the best intererest only because I don't want the past to repeat itself for you.

At age 35...your cycles may be starting to change. Ask your Mom or other female siblings when 'changes' started to happen for them...this may help you. If this is the case, just keep trying (they 'say' every other day is best)...you may eventually run into a good hormone level one month better than the previous. As you get older, it takes longer to get pregnant because of this. So, as you age...it then becomes a numbers game and luck of the draw (unless you have hormone testing kits at home!). And also at age 35, most doctors will also start to really talk to you about the fact you are reaching the age now when fertility ability (egg quality, hormone levels). Ability to get pregnant is declining rapidly for various reasons too (egg quality diminishes, hormone levels can cause this and can also cause the embryo not to implant and can also cause sudden infant death in-utero). Also, find out if your family had endometriosis...and make sure you don't have any signs of it yourself. For some reason, this stuff really does a number on your fertility hormones. But unfortunately nothing defnitively has pinpointed exactly specifics on it all...but there's enough case studies and research to validate connections. This is sneaky stuff that has horrible implications for fertility. There are natural ways to help this stuff not to happen (or to get rid of it)...but it takes LOTS of time and work. Stress in your life...is one thing that Endometriosis loves and thrives on.

Assuming everything is ok though... I agree with the people that use www.FertilityFriend.com -- its pretty good actually. And the iPod has a SUPER great FREE and handy application for it actually! Also I wish I would have invested in the book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility a LONG time ago too. ALWAYS have heard good things about that book. As you age, this stuff becomes even more important to track with your body in getting pregnant actually.

History and lessons learned on me: We got pregnant first try with both of my kids (always have been very in tune with my body!)...and come from a family of fertile myrtles. My Mom had 6 kids all natural (no c-sections), no problems at ALL! Dad's side...his Mom had 7 kids all natural. However, for some crazy reason... I ended up with two C-sections unfortunately (did not want of course)... And I can attest to you now that if you have a C-section...expect future complications in getting pregnant again! No matter what the doctor may say. If you want to have more than 1-2 kids...INSIST on finding an exprienced doctor that CAN deliver a BREECH baby. There are many long-lasting effects from C-sections that come out later...that is hard to tie back to the doctor or the actual procedure when it was done...is all I'm going to say.

The HSG/dye test on the tubes sounds great...and may work for some. But be careful going too fast into the HSG/dye test with your tubes. Its not necessarily the failsafe that its drummed up to be. I ALSO was told that it 'clears thing out' and can make it easier to get pregnant. That's true. HOWEVER, it ALSO can introduce bad bacteria as the dye is getting flushed through as well (or other things from your own body...such as endometriosis, etc.) which of course no one ever wants to talk to you about....that can cause an infection in/on your tube as well. Infections = blocked tubes! Blocked Tubes = NO baby naturally via that tube. I'm living proof of that happening. Again, something that no doctor will admit to being part of in assisting happen, after-the-fact...and you're left to dealing with it on your own. My original doctor took me down this path...the tubes looked SUPER great during my HSG actually! We were hopeful. We were supposed to then go down the path of Clomid next (to help get more or better quality eggs)...it was the promise before even agreeing to do the HSG dye test actually. Then, all of a sudden the doctor literally wigged out. An internal clinical doctors disagreement in handling me ensued...and my doctor then decided I should just go to IVF specialists. Which would have been fine...but the handling of the situation was less than desireable...unprofessional and chaotic to say the least. And left me very, very scared and uncertain about the professionalism and quality of my current doctor. Plus, the fact that the HSG/dye testing she performed on me was very, very painful (no, it was not just 'uncomfortable' as some may call it). And I even had pain and lots of tissue discharge afterwards...which I told this doctor about as well. But she kept discounting me...telling me it was all normal. She never WOULD see me actually! I ended up having severe back pain for awhile too...which she said had no relation to the dye test whatsoever. They did give me 2 days of antibiotics but it must not have been enough. NOW... I've comed to learn that apparently, I must HAVE gotten an infection on my tubes afterall. As I eventually found another OBGYN and got a 2nd opinion from him and found that 'something' had occured...as he ended up doing a 2nd HSG on me again (just ONLY 2 months later!) and my right tube now was showing it was basically COMPLETELY scarred up and closed not to mention folded over! The resulted tube was called a blocked tube... But to be exact, it was a 'Hydrosalpinx' tube... I have no option now but to do IVF. (This second doctor also told me that my last doctor had destroyed 2/3 of my left side ovary...not going to get pregnant on that! AND the kicker is I now have to most likely completely remove the tube entirely before I am allowed to continue with IVF process (the Hydrosalpinx tub is a disfunctional disfunctional and basically builds up and retains fluid which ends up being toxic, that backflows, 'gushes' into the uterus = most likely causing death to developing embryo).

Live and Learn. Wish I would have gone to a hormones specialist to begin with. Or even an IVF doctor right away too. They specialize in endocrinology...and can see what is going on with your hormone levels each month. As you get older, your hormone levels will start fluctuating each month (not staying consistent and ideal for pregnancy to occur)... You may have good FSH hormone levels (and progresterone levels too) one month and then there will be bad months. This all comes into play with you being able to develop eggs, and being able to maintain and continue a pregnancy in your uterus as well.

SOOOOoooo.... The point is, be careful in the doctor you are chosing. Make sure you don't get a rookie! And do your research every step of the way. Follow YOUR gut instinct...doctors do make mistakes too. However, it also is important that you do have a good gut instinct that you have a very trustworth doctor taking care of your best interest as well. They should be truly listening to YOU and are getting your questions answered completley and fully before leaving (my first doctor always rushed through our appts--NEVER lasted more than 5-10 minutes). And do your research...'worst case scenario' research is also important. Unfortunately, I've discovered that everyone with GREAT experiences will be the ones that come forward first... The people with the bad experiences are usually embarassed or afraid to ever admit what just happened to them and come forward. For some crazy reason, infertility is considered to be a burden that women are forced to carry inside themselves. Some I guess just maybe need to forget too...so they can move on with their lives for their family sake.

Wish you all the Best of Luck! Hoping you have a VERY Happy Ending SOON!

Renee

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D.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

A. - I would highly recommend acupunture. Here's the website and information from someone I recommend:

Winer Acupuncture, Inc.
715 Florida Ave So #206
Golden Valley, MN 55426
###-###-####
www.wineracupuncture.com

She has worked with infertility issues in the past. While I don't have any personal experience in this area, I highly believe in this form of therapy.

Good luck

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D.M.

answers from Madison on

Hi A.,
Here is a web-site to get advice.. ____@____.com Good luck

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M.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Also highly recommend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and tracking your cycles through fertilityfriend.com

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