Toddler Won't Eat!

Updated on June 26, 2008
I.M. asks from Colorado Springs, CO
18 answers

My 14 month old daughter is refusing to eat and drink just about everything! She'll drink milk and she'll eat little bites from our plates, but is refusing pretty much everything else. She won't drink water, juice or anything besides milk. Sippy cups are a disaster. Any advice or how to get her to eat and drink?

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C.S.

answers from Denver on

Hi,
I'm a mom with 4 kids and 2 of them were just like that.. What I did was take them shopping with me and exposed them to all the different foods that they could eat. It didnt work at first but the more I took them,they began to open up and choose food.Also if she likes milk, offer her things you would make with milk and let her watch you make it. Hope this helps. C.

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A.P.

answers from Omaha on

she'll eat when she is hungry, she won't starve herself. Don't baby her about it just tell her if she doesn't eat now she doesn't get anything until dinner or whatever. She will learn. As far as the sippy cups go they make really good ones that don't have any filters just the cup and the lid and they really are leak proof for quite a while if the kid sticks their finger in the tip or throws it a lot they eventually give in but they are my favorite they have princess, cars, elmo, mickey and two come in a pack you can get them at wal mart

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D.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

you might check to see if she is teething. my daughter went through a period recently when she was a worse eater than usual, then i realized she was getting in all four kanines at the same time! if it's not teething, somethign that worked for my son was giving him the same type of plate my husband and i used (you might need to switch to plastic:-)and making sure that his food even though it was cut up still looked like our food. you might even let her watch you cut it up. it made my son happy to eat just like mom and dad were eating. good luck

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M.N.

answers from Denver on

My dd does the same thing and she is 2 but I do know her favorites and she will eat when she wants too. Her new thing is she doesn't want breakfast at all but she loves chocolate milk so I started giving her the breakfast shakes to drink. As for sippy cups we found these nalgene sports bottles for kids and thats what she drinks out of most of the days. Sometimes she will drink out of a cup or something with a straw but she loves the sports bottle. I hope this helps and gl.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

You've gotten lots of good advice...the only person that knows how hungry your daughter is, is her. If she eats, great. If not, she must not be hungry. Go with it. Some days my DD eats air and other times I seriously worry how I'm going to feed her when she's a teenager. (4 waffles at breakfast, seriously?)

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E.H.

answers from Provo on

I recommend the book by Ellyn Satter called Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense. It is a wonderful reference for all feeding questions in general. The author lets you know that as a mom you are responsible for what you offer her to eat and when, but she is responsible for how much she eats, and what she chooses from your offers. I refer to it often with my 2 boys ages 4 and 1.

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L.F.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You have alot of responses so I am not sure you will even get to this one, but I will write anyways.

My son is a super picky eater, even though we did everything people said to keep him from being picky.
I know its super super hard not to give her food off your plate, because you want her to at least eat something even if it be a few bites from your fork.
I have done the same thing, and am learning that I have to make him sit in his chair and eat from his tray, or plate, I show him that we have the same food, and tell him that he needs to eat his food, and mommy will eat her food.
Give her her own fork, spoon, if she doesn't already have them, sometimes my son won't eat, he wants big fork, not his little one.
Its trial and error really, I get so frustrated sometimes, so I am with ya.
You also cannot cater to her wants, you make what is for dinner, she will eventually learn that this is what your eating, or you can go hungry. I had, and have to do the same for my son, most days he will pick and pick. Its so much easier to make his favorite, and know he will eat, but then it makes it harder because he will not try anything else, and that is, in my opinion, hell to deal with.
As for the milk thing, is she drinking it from the bottle? or just a regular cup?
If the bottle, just put the bottles in a box, let her help you, explain to her (she somewhat will get it) that we are drinking from big cups now. (My son liked the soft nipple like nubie cups from walmart) This way it is easier for you to not just grab a bottle because she won't drink. Eventually she will drink from the cup, you need to find the one that is right for her.
Good luck!
I think as parents sometimes we make things harder, taking away the bottle, sticking to our guns with no junk food, not catering to their whining. I took Jaimen's bottle and binkie away when he turned 1, if he didn't see a bottle or binkie he was completely fine.

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M.W.

answers from Grand Junction on

When I had my first son I was told that toddlers are grazers. I was told to eat with them three times a day so that they now it is meal time then put his food down where he can reach it and let him go back to graze on it. He will eat what he needs. At 14 months old my son was still taking more milk then anything. He had about six sippy cups a day. It took him until lunch to finish one piece of French toast. I didn't save his lunch because of nap time. After nap I put out crackers or cheese the easy things to grab and eat, and also the things that I knew he would eat. Good luck as long as she is growing you are doing fine.

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P.H.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My daughter was the same way. Just a picky eater. My only thing was to keep trying things to see if she would like them. She really will not starve herself, you know. She's 25 now and still a very picky eater. It's just her nature. I blame her aunt, who is also a picky eater, and it's a family joke.

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E.G.

answers from Denver on

I.,
I have 3 children, My youngest and only boy went through the same thing for a couple years. He would only eat carrots, french fries, apples, bacon, peanut butter, milk, apple juice and something else that I just can't remember right now. The point is as long as she's healthy, she's fine. It's just a phase. Keep trying to get her to eat different things though. Eventually they will start eating very well. Proof: My son started finally eatting everything but mushrooms by age 5 , is now 16, stands 6'3 and weighs about 170 lbs. almost all muscle. And tells mommy when she stands up to give him a kiss good-bye like when I'm going to work or something, he says " No really mom, stand up" or if I say something he don't really like he'll say " I just want quiet from you Frodoe." He's just teasing or I'd have to take the Giant down. LOL
Good Luck and don't worry unless she starts looking un- healthy then take her to the doctor.
E.

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

when my boys were that age, i had to make meal time play time to get them to eat. they went through a pirate phase and if i gave them a fritata, it was an island and they were pirates searching for treasure (the meat and veggies within the egg). they still call cooked hotdog slices coins. i put a few teddy grahams or goldfish crackers on for characters. i made faces or scenes on their plates like boats made out of a piece of ham or a sandwich, with a carrot stick mast and cheese sail. a squirt of something like ranch dressing for dipping is a cloud. during an insect phase, we pretended everything was some insect and the boys were creatures sneaking up on them and gobbling them up. when i make a face on the plate, they like to shout out things like, "i ate his eyeball! now he will have to wear an eyepatch." we do a whole dialog as they eat. i don't know that these specific examples will work with a girl, but you get the idea. i was worried that it would teach them to always play with their food, but eventually they were interested in learning to use an fork and knife and tell me about their day. so the storybook meals are less often. good luck!

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W.L.

answers from Boise on

She will when she gets hungry enough. Children will not starve themselves, but they do go through growth spurts that have them eating lots for a while and then eating almost nothing later. They will go back and forth for many years to come. If you start to take notice you will find attitude changes and sleeping pattern changes as well. Once you see the pattern you will be able to handle the ups and downs much easier. I would leave healthy snacks out on the table for her to graze on when she wants to. I would avoid treats all together when she isn't eating much, this way you know that whatever she is eating is good for her.

There is nothing wrong with your child consuming nothing but milk if that is all they will take. I personally take away all bottles at their first birthday and give them sippy cups. They are mad for a couple days and then take the sippy cups like a pro. I personally like the hard Nubby sippy cups. They are less than a dollar, work very well and wash fairly easily. If they get lost or worn out, you are only out a dollar. I have four small children and have tried them all and these are my favorite because THEY WORK! I have had problems with the soft lid sippy cups,,,they leak!!!

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R.M.

answers from Denver on

if you think that the sippy cup is the problem then you should get rid of them. cold turkey. she is probably getting enough milk to sustain her hunger and on one hand it wont hurt and she will eat if she gets hungary but if you want all of that to change then you should!. change cups and only offer milk after she is finished eating. a good cup to change to would be a sport bottle. and start to limit the amount of milk you offer her per day. so when she it's gone it's gone.

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J.N.

answers from Denver on

I., Don't make a big deal about it. Maybe she's not growing so much right now and just doesn't need it. Have you tried something fun like a fruit smoothie? Sometimes they just want to munch on crackers (with cream cheese?) or just a bowl of dry cereal. Eating disorders arise from parents putting too much stress on the situation. Let her tell you what she thinks her body needs each day. Have fun with your beautiful girl!! J.

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M.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter, same age, is the same way. I would love to be able to put her in her high chair and use that time to busy myself in the kitchen, or whatever, but she won't let me. What works for me is just feeding her off my plate. There's nothing wrong with that. She wants to be like you and eat what you eat. Sit down with her and have mealtime together. Eat a bite of what you want her to try, then offer her one. The key is to keep offering things to her. Don't assume that because she has refused chicken in the past that she'll refuse today. Offer it to her again. But don't push it during the same mealtime. She will eat when she's hungry enough. If she is healthy and growing, don't stress about it. Keep your calm, offer healthy foods, and don't allow mealtimes to become a power struggle.

As for the sippy cup thing, that didn't really work for my daughter either. She couldn't figure out how to lift it up, plus she wanted to drink out of mommy's big cup. So I taught her how to drink out of a straw. She started using a straw at 11 months old. I know that sounds young, but it only took her a few minutes a couple of different times to figure it out. You can buy child-proof cups with straws instead of sippers. The ones I have even have a no-spill feature as the straws only work if they're being sucked on. Plus there's a sliding cover that bends the straw down and protects it when you are throwing it in a diaper bag.

Good luck! This too shall pass (someday).

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K.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

At my son's 12-month check, the pediatrician warned me this phase would likely come, and advised that I only give him healthy foods so that when he cuts back on his consumption at least he is getting some nutrition. Wish I had asked how long the phase should last ! Anyways, it is very tempting to give him snack food to fill his tummy and get the meal time over, but I'm trying hard not to do it. He is very independent and seems to do better if he feeds himself, even if its a mess. Small bits of fresh raspberries, blueberries, watermelon, tiny 'trees' of steamed broccoli (yeah, believe it or not) or steamed soft carrot rounds, bread spread w/ p.b. cut into small squares, kidney beans from a can, eggo waffles and our food mashed very thickly work for him. And he likes to eat it with an adult fork. I don't think he can seriously hurt himself w/ it as long as I'm watching and encouraging, so I let him do it.

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R.K.

answers from Salt Lake City on

When you say "milk" are you talking about your milk or cow's milk?

If you're nursing and she doesn't want to eat foods, don't sweat it, just make sure YOU'RE eating pleanty of high value food.

Trust her growth and development. If she's still doing well in that regard then don't worry. Baby's tend not to let themselves starve.

If you're not nursing, it sounds like SHE wasn't ready to stop. (please, choose not to be offended by that comment because it isn't a personal judgement toward you...just observational toward HER) Do you best not to force her aka power struggle. Just like potty training, what goes in is the ONLY thing she has control of in her life. So, you will loose your sanity if you arm up and go into this battle.

Simply place some food in front of her and allow her to choose to eat or not. Tell her the milk is all gone before ever putting food on the table. Try backing up on the food scale to apple sauce, mashed up bananas or potatoeso, etc...

It's amazing to me how many times I have--or loved ones have--stressed over something that didn't make any sense just to come to the knowlegde that the child had been doing that for a very good reason. One would avoid eating a particular food and her parents wouldn't stand for that forcing her to eat, another had the same issue with that food...now the first one has a food allergy to it while the other doesn't have the issue. So, you never know... Trust your instincts more that the facts and figures you have in your head and on your shelf. She will not allow herself to starve.

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E.B.

answers from Provo on

first questions, how long has this been going on? My daughter will go through these phases off and on. She'll go about a week and a half and not hardly eat anything. Then she'll eat everything we put in front of her. Unless the doctor says there is really something to be worried about, kids that young will eat when they're hungry and not eat when they don't need it. I wouldn't force too much so eating doesn't become a bad experience. Good luck!

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