To Wean or Not to Wean? - Sierra Madre,CA

Updated on July 17, 2009
K.K. asks from Sierra Madre, CA
31 answers

My son is 6 1/2 months old and I have been exclusively breastfeeding him since we got the hang of it when he was about 2 months old. Originally he had a lot of difficulty latching on and we had to get lots of help breastfeeding. Well, now we are both very good at it. Unfortunately I have to go back to work as a teacher in September and I really don't want to deal with pumping at work. When I go back he will be almost 9 months old and I don't think it would hurt to start weaning him soon. I also want my boobs back if you know what I mean. In addition, he wakes up in the middle of the night at least once to breastfeed and I've heard that formula might carry him through the night better. However, if there is going to be any reason why it might be bad for him to be weaned sooner than later then I will continue. He is also very comforted, as all babies are, by nursing and I love the bond that it has created. What is your advice?

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your two cents. I had no idea this would be such a hot topic. To those who asked I teach third grade elementary school. I have decided to keep up the breastfeeding in the morning and evenings but substitute a few feedings during the day to avoid having to pump at work. I failed to mention that I already had the glorious experience, in May and June of pumping during my ten minute recess (in a wonderful storage room that my school provided), and then had the luxury of a babysitter who brought him to me for the lunch feeding. Unfortunately I have to have him in a different daycare setting so I can't do that anymore. I think its great that so many of you were able to breastfeed up to a year or more. I find it so amazing that there are so many strong opinions about how long one is supposed to breastfeed and the consequences. Thank you all for sharing with me and caring about my sons wellbeing!

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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

K., what I did when I went back to work was to give my son formula when I'm at work and breastfeed him in the morning before I go to work and again when I came home. This way I still have that bond but I don't have to pump at work.

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

K. I feel for you, this is tough and I bet getting negative responses makes it worse.... I weaned my DD at 8 months and it was a smooth transition, do it now he will adapt easier than if you do it after 12 months. I stopped the night time feedings first. My Daughter did well on formula, actually both my kids did and they are both healthy and smart. Breastfeeding is great but its not realistic for everyone to do for 12+ months. Good luck!!

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

hi K., well being a recent teacher myself I know that you will not be able to pump at work, you just don't have time. however some babies are okay doing both formula and breast, so you could just do breast at home... ? My baby couldn't stand formula and now I am trying to wean her and apparently she hates everything that even looks or smells like milk in a cup or bottle so I had trouble there. anyways sounds like you want to stop so might as well get started. good luck!

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C.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I went back to work as a teacher when my youngest daughter was 5 months old. I pumped at recess and lunch- your body gets used to it and it goes pretty fast. Get a good, electric pump.

You will never get your boobs totally back- sadly they will never be the same again :).

There are so many health benefits to nursing and you are so close to a year anyways, I think you should just continue- my kids all weaned themselves around 1- as they got more active and distracted. I think you will be sad that you weaned early- it is an interesting and special bond that lasts such a short time.

Even if you pumped once at school- nursed before you left in the morning, when you got home, and at bedtime your milk supply would probably stay just fine.

Sleeping through the night is more about learning to soothe himself and him having the chance to discover this (i.e. you not going in and getting him when he wakes in the middle of the night- yes crying will occur as he complains- but he is old enough- and after a few nights he will figure it out) and not about formula vs. breast milk. Formula may give you another hour- not the whole night. I highly recommend letting him learn to soothe himself before you go back to work- it will make his two naps a day and nighttime sleep easier- and you will get the sleep you need. When does he nap? What is his bedtime? waketime? Sleep environment like?

C., mother of 3, sleep consultant, sleep blog writer

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B.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

First of all, great job for making it this far! We also had a hard time with nursing at first but finally got the hang of it. First of all about feeding at night, I think the formula thing is just a myth. I know just as many formula babies who wake at night to eat. Really, you have just trained him that if he wakes up he gets to eat. I night weaned my baby at 4 months and it was fine. What I did was when he woke up I went in to comfort him, love him, etc. but i didn't feed him. The first few nights were hell but he got the point after a few nights and shortly after started sleeping through the night and even when he did wake up, just going in to pat him or give him a binkie was so much easier than having to feed him. So, that's my suggestion with that, is just night wean him. Its no different than if he was waking up for a bottle.

So far as work, what I did at 10 months was to do 50/50 and it actually worked wonderfully! I nursed first thing in the am and then at night and he got bottles of formula during the day. I did this transition slowly, first switching one feeding to a bottle then another so that eventually we were half and half which you could start to do the last month before you go back to work. Anyway, it was great for us and it made it no problem to wean as I eventually just cut down to one nursing a day and then when he turned one just cut that one out too. I was never engorged, he never had a hard time, it was really the best of both worlds.

Just my experience! Good luck!

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

If you enjoy nursing, try doing both and only nurse when you will be able to come September. The more breastmilk he gets, the better for him. Your breasts will adjust to whatever you do. Plus you can pump and freeze for what he needs during the day.

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A.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

why not do both? I weaned my son around 9 months during the day and then continued breast feeding at night. He seemed to sleep alot better. And my breast didn't hurt as much as they would have stopping cold turkey. And props to you at making it this far breast feeding! Most don't even try, they give up way to easy!

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H.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Its wonderful that you've made it past 6 months. Every thing you do now is icing on the cake. Maybe a compromise of morning and night time breastfeeding could work well and then you won't need to pump.

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D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm gunna ditto a previous mom and say do both! You body will easily get used to producing enough milk for two or three feedings and adjust to only producing milk when your at home. The weekends might be a little tough, but with baby at nine months, he can easily start having more solids.

But you need to do what will work for you. However the easily comforting bond you have with nursing might be worth more to you in the coming months after you start back to work. So with that in mind, you might want to wait until you've started back to work before you decide.
Best wishes.

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J.V.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi K., I am sure you are going to get a lot of responses to not wean him, since breast milk is best for baby ( true).

However- I have a different perspective. I too work in the schools- as a speech/language pathologist. Pumping at break? Hah- in most of my settings there is not such a thing as a "real" lunch- since we're eating with the kids, etc. I also had to wean my kids before the optimal time, and never regretted it. If I were in your situation, I would start weaning in August so that the two of you have time to adjust.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi K., wean him, rice cereal and formula will help through the night as long as you don't get up with him. My baby's were are rice cereal at bed time from 6 weeks old, and slept through the night, I can't imangine going months and getting up everynight. I hear you about the boobs, my friend was only in her early 30's and her breast were already hanging down towards her waist, she lost so much breast mass from nursing so much and for so long, I got to tell you, her husband was not a happy camper. Sinse your baby is 6 months i would feed him baby food breakfast lunch and dinner, with the formula in between, and cereal at bed time. Thats how my mom did it with us 5 kids, and thats how i did it with my 3, and i do that in my daycare with my babys. J. L.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

K. - It doesn't have to be all or nothing. When I had to go back to work after having my daughter 5 years ago, I just breastfed her in the morning before work and at night. I also can't pump at work because I'm in law enforcement and have to be ready to respond to things at a moment's notice. (I also tried to pump in the restroom and after spilling the entire container on the floor, I decided it wasn't going to work). Your milk supply will adjust to whatever frequency your son is nursing. I had twins almost 5 months ago and, like your son, they finally caught on to breastfeeding at 8 weeks. I go back to work in 2 weeks and have already got them down to the two nursings per day. I don't need to wear pads in my bra, but probably will when I first go back to work...just in case.

Oh, and I breastfed my first daughter, morning and night, for a year. She self-weaned a week after her first birthday.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

pump 1-2 times at work for a few months, it should only take 12-15 minutes if you double pump (use a hands free pumping bra, breast pump wipes, a good pump - medela). supplement with formula. when he's 10-12 months, you can stop pumping and only breast feed when you're at home. your supply will adjust naturally. you've come so far, keep going till he's one, AAP recommendation. why should you continue?? well, there's the bonding, soothing, natural laxative, antibioties, decrease risk of SIDS, smarter baby, ease separation anxiety when you go back to work. for you, burn lots of calories, don't have to wash that many bottles, save money on formula, and gradual weaning won't hurt as much as cold turkey. ok, these folks have more reasons than i.
http://www.parentingweb.com/lounge/whybf.htm

you can do it!

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I just finished a year of pumping-while-teaching and it is not easy but I did it. I pumped on my prep period or lunch break every day (but was blessed that my son was in on-site daycare at my school!), and now that he's 15 months, I'm working to wean him this summer. My son is a terrific eater--he loves all sorts of foods and has no allergies--but he definitely doesn't want to stop nursing yet. He signs "milk" when he's tired and when he needs to be comforted, and at this point we are nursing only before bedtime, when he wakes up in the morning, before his nap, and once in the middle of the night (he usually goes to bed around 8pm and wakes to nurse around 1 or 2). I honestly don't know if I'm going to be able to wean him completely this summer, but I wish you luck. It's a pretty big sacrifice to pump while working full time (especially with a teacher's unforgiving schedule--the 35 minute lunch that is really a 20-minute lunch by the time you clear students out); I am proud of myself for making it through the school year. I guess I knew going into this that my life was going to change in a lot of ways and I was prepared to give up a lot in the first year to avoid the hassle and cost of formula (plus the health benefits and bonding of nursing), but I understand if you plan to wean. In fact, if you have any tips, send me some! :-)

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

K.,

Good luck with this decision. I thought about writing earlier and didn't but still feel like I should at least give you another teacher's perspective. I don't know if you are Elementary, Middle, or High School but pumping at work can be really hard, but it can be done. I teach high school and would lock my door at snack/nutrition after shooing them quickly out and pump until the bell rang. Then I pumped on my prep period. It was something--either way I never made enough milk and had to supplement with formula from the very beginning. I managed to pump 11 months with one but had to stop at 4.5 months on the second one because I was only expressing about 1.5 oz total! Too much stress at work to pump and only get that amount! Sigh.

Don't let anyone bully you one way or the other. I don't know anything about weaning since my first one did it on his own at 9 months and the second one was forced to formula at about 4.5 months when I wasn't making enough to feed him. My boys were good at taking either breast milk pumped or from me, and any kind of formula (except soy based--they threw that up!)

Regarding sleeping through the night see if you can get ideas from a sleep book (I like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) but even when my kids were only on formula they still sometimes got up! Here is a link to reviews on a bunch of sleep books http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/beforeyoubuy/l/aa_sleepboo...

About the weaning you'll have to decide when to do it. It seems like past a year sometimes the kids get really connected and some don't even want real milk but do what you can for your sanity. My boys are happy and healthy even though I couldn't provide or pump enough milk for them! Formula (even the store brands) are all made to specific FDA regulations and have more or less the same things in them! Costco (the last time I bought formula) Kirkland brand had the DHA and was the cheapest out there!

Good luck! Enjoy your summer break--they're never long enough! :)

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D.C.

answers from San Diego on

Hi

I am a teacher as well. It is wonderful having our flexible summer schedules. I did pump at work and it is actually required by law that your place of employment supply you with the place and the time to pump. Most moms don't realize that. Breastfeeding is such a wonderful thing. It is good to try and breasfeed at least for a year. There are so many things that it helps with. Reducing ear infections is just one thing. Formula does not necessarly help with sleeping throught the night, I think that is a myth. When you go back to work Nursing is such a great way to reconnect with your child. My advice is try and keep it up, try pumping, it is really actually nice. It allows you to take a relaxing moment out of your work day and do something for your child, and to think about them.

Good Luck.

L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would say stick with it for as long as you can!! The longer you continue, the better the health benefits are for baby AND you. I pumped at work, 1 time a day, and nursed at night. Your body adapts quickly. Personally, I think 9 months is a bit young, especially since there are no health issues involved. The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends 2 years of breastfeeding; truly, America is behind in only recommending 6 months. I think that target will eventually be raised, but that won't happen until breastfeeding is more the norm here in the States. Baby steps, right?!

And finally, good for you for nursing!! Best of luck :)

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V.W.

answers from San Diego on

I think that this scenario gives you a beautiful opportunity to wean naturally and gently. He is at the age where he will start eating more and more food and you can also give him a cup of milk or formula occasionally so he gets used to drinking from a cup during the day. Start to omit a feeding here and there and give him a cup or bottle instead, but don't give up the breast completely right away. As he takes less from the breast the milk supply will diminish naturally and he will breast feed even less. This way you will avoid engorgement and tears. Try to keep a few feedings a day going; maybe early morning and evening time, when the breast feeding is just so wonderful for both of you. If you do this over then next two months you may not need to wean him completely and may come home from work and have the pleasure of recconecting through this lovely bond. The more months of BF under you belt the more protection for you in the future from breast and ovarian cancer, hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol and other coronary disease. So it is worth doing for you and for the baby it will decrease incidence food allergies, asthma and a whole array of infections and illness every bit helps.

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Go to Le Leche League website and find a meeting near you. ALL their books have a TON of info about MANY issues. You need more info!
If your child is allowed to self-wean his behavior will be better through the todller years not to mention the MANY HEALTH BENEFITS!!! At a year old their immune system is only 60% dev. You're a teacher, you know how important bf is, keep with it. Your principal should be good about you pumping, it's a SMALL inconvience for the benefits it will give your son for MANY years to come.
Your idea about formula and sleeping doesn't make sense to me. You can bf during the day and not at night, you just have to eliminate that feeding. My son bf only and slept through the night at 4weeks! The bond is SO important. Read some weaning books that LLL has on their site and then make a desicion that works for your family. It will be hard enough on him when you go back to work much less being weaned at the same time. AT LEAST keep it up till he's a year old. IF you decide to wean, only drop one feeding about every 3 weeks. Hang in there, you can do it, you'll be happy you did, especially when he's 2-3 and his friendsa re throwing tantrums and he's not. My son is 27 m and has never been sick. Give your son all that you can.

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S.A.

answers from Honolulu on

I say wean him if you are ready. You did your time! hehe There is NO reason to feel guilty about not going as long as other moms have... Besides, the American Academy of Pediatrics "recommends" breastfeeding for at least 6 months - you did that and then some! It isn't "easy" to wean (at any age I think!) but you can do it!!!

Good luck :)

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K.T.

answers from Visalia on

Don't worry baby will get his fill with the formula. You gave him the first six mos. which are important.

Your doing fine!

Mother of 4 at the age 30.

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M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

If you can make it to a year, I recommend you do...so does the American Pediatric Association. Plus, you'll be saving yourself money on formula!

I work full time and both times have gone back to work when my son was four months old. It's a committment to pump, but once you get the hang of it, it's really not that bad, and let me tell you...your boobs will never be the same anyway! :)

I know with my first one especially, it was nice to pump and know that someone else might be taking care of him while I was at work, but there was still no one else that could do for him what I was doing by pumping. It doesn't work out for everyone, but if you can, it's just three more months and then you can wean and transition your baby to cow's milk or whatever you'll be using...

Just my thoughts. If you need any tips on pumping at work and all that...shoot me an e-mail. After doing it with two kids, I feel like a pro!

-M

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Breastmilk is the healthiest thing for babies until a year old. You should be able to pump only once, twice at the most, your little guy deserves it.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Of course this your personal decision and you've already gotten lots of great advice. I just wanted to also chime in with the 'stick with it' encouragement. Long term breast feeding is best for your baby. As to pumping at work it is California law that your employer provide you with a place and the opportunity to pump for your baby. So you have the law and nature on your side- 2 powerful agents that may help you continue. Good luck

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M.J.

answers from San Diego on

He is definitely old enough to sleep through the night. You should wean him off that feeding so you can get your sleep! I think the idea is to comfort him without feeding him if he wakes... and better yet have dad go in instead of you. If he doesn't wake, certainly don't wake him. I know it was initially tough for me to make it through the night when we dropped our 2am. But you'll make it.

I think you have to weigh the pros and cons of pumping at work. If you really don't want to pump at work, that might be your answer. I can see how it might be tricky to try to fit into a school day. But if you can pump at breaks, it's doable.

Certainly it's good for him if you can keep going. American Pediatrics suggests one year. But at this age he will also be starting table food. It's a tough decision, but only you can say what will work best for you and baby.

Congrats on making it this far, and good luck in heading back to work. It's tough to be away from our little ones, so hang in there at the start. You'll do fine :)

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J.P.

answers from San Diego on

I highly recomend that you research formula fully before making a decision. You know as a teacher, that all decision are better made when they are educated decisions. Praise God for you sticking with it in the beginning and making it work. That will be a huge blessing to your child. drmercola.com has a dr. on a video clip and she talks about soy and how it is in formula and the problems associated with. Then there is all the problems associated with cows and hormones. It is worth your time to hear both sides.

If all is said and done and you decide to wean him and want a healthy alternative, please let me know.

God Bless!

J.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

K.:
Your baby is only 6 months old. Don't you want to give him the best start ever by providing milk for him? Once you wean him its that stinky formula and then you'll have to tote it around with you everywhere. At least try to make it through the summer. I would not wean a baby before they were a year old. Breast milk is healthy, free, safe, and best for babies.

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C.H.

answers from Visalia on

i am bf my first of 4 kids, it didn't work out with the rest. my daughter is VERY comforted by nursing so I know what you mean. My daughter is 4 months but i can't even imagine already how hard it is going to be to wean....if you are no longer interested then i would start weaning now.

I will say this though, my other 3 kids were all formula fed (12, 9 & 8) and they didn't sleep thru the night. Don't assume because i do give my new baby formula too and it doesnt make a difference at all in her sleeping. She is just a bad sleeper!

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S.F.

answers from Santa Barbara on

The swine flu could be a big problem this winter and giving your little one the protection of antibodies through your breast milk could make it so worth the trouble. (PS- I hate to mention it, but my boobs didn't come back the same LOL)
S.

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C.K.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I think it's a completely personal decision if you want to wean or not. Here is my opinion for myself, just for your info...I wanted to nurse my daughter for at least a year and was open to longer. We also had a very rough start and it took us about 2 months to get a regularly nursing routine down. I had to go back to work when she was 3mo so started out pumping 2x/day at work. At about 6 mo I cut back to once/day because she was only taking one bottle while I was gone (I worked 6 hours in office and then 2 from home). By 9 or 10 months she started refusing a bottle from her nanny, so soon after I was able to eliminate pumping completely. Since then our routine is this: 6/7am BF, 3/4pm BF, 8/9pm BF, 3/4am BF. I did not notice a problem with milk supply when cutting out that mid AM BF/pump...in fact, we usually add that one back in on weekends with no problem. When you go back to work you could probably have her take a bottle of formula instead of pumped BM and see how your milk supply is for the rest of your nursing sessions. Be prepared for some engorgement at first, until your body adjusts to the new schedule. We were fortunate that our little one wasn't an every 2 hour feeder, but likes to space it out more. It may take some trial and error, but I'm sure you'll figure out what works best for your family! Juliet is now 14 months and we still love our nursing time together!

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K.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

One thing I learned after going back to work is that it is not all or nothing. You can breastfeed part time so you don't have to pump at work. I could even help your baby with your transition back to work to keep up a morning and nighttime feeding. He should be able to sleep through the night at this point, even breastfeed so I think that is a separate issue.

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