Teacher Assignment

I'm confused about one point you made. He doesn't have an IEP? All the kids I know that have even mild ADD/ADHD have IEPs. It's what's necessary for the kids to get the treatment and attention they need in the classroom to succeed.

Get in touch with his last teacher and ask for her opinion on what politics are at work here and how best to approach the principal on this issue. She will be able to give you some sound advice.

How upsetting for all of you. Fortunately my son's school has been very good at picking teachers for him and fortunately he only has to change teachers every other year. His K teacher still goes to bat for him when it comes time for the school to decide where to place him (going into 4th grade).

Wow. I can see why you would absolutely be upset about this. You are doing everything you can to keep your son above water, and want the school to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. I get it.

I've taught elementary and have had to help make some of those hard choices of classroom placement. A lot really goes into the consideration (if everyone is really doing their jobs).

My guess is that this teacher is the better fit for kids like yours, and is getting a good handful of them this year. This may be part of the reasoning behing your son not being placed in the room. HOWEVER, you need to fight this.

What is the best approach for this prinicipal? In person, phone, email? Make an appt. with the principal IN PERSON to discuss this. You need to CALMLY approach this and discuss that the other teachers also recommended the one teacher and (without throwing them under the bus) say that they didn't recommend the assigned teacher.

I would also suggest that you do follow through with an IEP if necessary or even a 504 plan. Your son sounds like he needs some extra help, and this is the only way to get that help. Tell the principal that you would also like to set up a conference regarding what you find out from the new psychiatrist in the very near future. Put it on her radar.

Take a deep breath, and approach this calmly. It is not necessarily set in stone.....so don't let your mama bear instincts eat them alive....just yet. :)

Just because you volunteer at the school, does not mean you get special treatment.

I was extremely active at all of our daughters schools and in the district itself, this by no means I was or our daughter was given any special treatment..

You need to stop freaking out.. Quit being so negative about all of this, you are passing along your fears and worries to everyone around you.

DO make an appointment to speak with the Principal and ask for her suggestions about what should be done for your son.

You can state your concerns, but until your son is in the actual class with this teacher.... you really have no real idea how it is going to work out.. Go in with a positive attitude that he can reach this goal..

He NEEDS the IEP.. There is no stigma attached.. Tons of students have them and it is not a big deal.. These kids are not bullied or treated in anyway different than anyone else.

At each school there is "that teacher" in each grade that has the reputation of being tough, unreasonable, whatever.. But I NEVER let our daughter know I was worried about how she would do in these classes or what I thought or had heard about the teacher.. Instead we gave it a try.

Once our daughter was finished with elementary school, I asked her so who at HLES was your favorite teacher.. She said "my favorite.. ",then she gave me a list, she could not pick one.." But" she said, "I can tell you who I learned the most from..." Yep, the teacher that parents were always requesting their children not be placed with..

She had high expectations from each and every child. And each and every one of her students did great. This is also one of those teachers that is not great with the parents, but the students totally respect her.

Your attitude is everything to your child. You set the tone. Ifg you can stay calm and positive on the outside and freak out behind your bedroom door or as you drive away from the school. It is really going to help him have confidence in him self. and a better attitude about expectations..

Try 1 day at a time.. An all day of just positive conversations and reactions.. Place post its around to remind you.. When you complete the day, try for another.

Oh well, we all make mistakes.

Thats ok, lets clean it up together.

Wow, that was frustrating, but it is not a big deal.

I am just going to do my best.. and that will be just fine.

Oops, messed that up, oh well, now I know how not to do that..

Poo, worked h*** o* that, too bad it did not work out.. I need to think about how to fix it.. Or how to change it, Or ASK for help.

I am disappointed, but this is not the end of the world..

Stay positive.. Also consider seeing your doctor for a check up.. With all of your responsibilities and worries, you need to be in tip top shape. Be honest with her about what your life is like and how it is making you feel.

You deserve some pampering. And when you need help.. ASK for it.

I am surprised that with a request from you, AND the input from the 4th grade teachers, that your son was still assigned the more strict teacher. I definitely agree with talking to the school tomorrow. It could be a simple case of one class had to many requests for that teacher and they just couldn't meet them all and no one stopped to think about it. I am not sure what can be done at this point, but there may still be room in the other class to add him.

He has diagnosed ADHD, but doesn't have an IEP? Why not? You would take your son off of helpful medication to prove a point to the school? While I can understand you are hurt, THAT would be hurtful to your child. I strongly urge you NOT to do that, no matter how quickly you think that would help you get your way. Hurting your child to prove a point is NEVER the right way to do anything.

I understand also about how the drill-sergent isn't the best. No one likes to see their child struggle. No one likes to have 'the strict teacher'. However, if you don't let the school see that for themselves. They won't understand. You say that the drill-sergent type doesn't work for your son, and that may have been true in the past, but how do you know that it is STILL true.

When my son was in 3rd grade they brought in a new teacher after the year started. My son went from being in a class with 5 friends, and a teacher that was 'sweet', to being in a class with only 1 friend, and a teacher that was an Army Reservist Officer. The difference was night and day. All of the parents complained that their kid had been chosen to move, except for me. I welcomed it. Did I want my son to have the hard teacher vs the sweet, no, not necessarily, but how would you feel if YOU were the teacher and no one wanted you to teach their kid? I was the ONLY parent all year that came in to help in class. I was the ONLY one that would come just to hang out or help. The other 3 teachers had parents helping everyday. Basically out the door wanting to help them. Did we have some problems. Yes, but we communicated and dealt with it as adults.

I say give this teacher a chance. Give your kid a chance to interact with the 'unknown' safety zone.

OKAY mom I know you are upset and I dont know everything that you have been through with your son. But just relax. Do you know the teacher they are speaking of personally? Or are there things that you have heard from other people? I hope when you call the school they are ready to explain exactly what happened and why he is in the class he is in. Make sure you post what happens...I really feel for you and your family right now.

It does sound surprising that he didn't get the teacher that was recommended for him. I would definitely get in touch with the principal to get some clarification on their reasoning.

But you should ALSO get an IEP. IEPs are not just for autistic kids. My son had one early on for ADHD (in the meantime, he was ALSO diagnosed with Autism, so his IEP now has Autism as his primary diagnosis with ADHD as his secondary). Having an IEP will help you understand exactly what your son is entitled to and it will help the school understand exactly what your son needs. It's a win-win all around. Considering his issues, it seems strange that in 5th grade, he doesn't already have one.

You definitely should ask what there reasoning behind the placement was, considering you had requested a different teacher.

The worst thing you could do is take your son off his meds to prove a point. I'm sure that just your frustration speaking.
I'm surprised he doesn't have an IEP already.

When my son was young, he heard horror stories of teachers who yell and are mean and strict. My son had no problems with those teachers. They weren't nearly as mean and strict as any of the kids said.

Maybe this teacher you are opposed to is strict, but also caring and wants her students to be successful.

You never know until you ask.

Request a meeting.

Best wishes.

I'm confused, he has ADHD and he doesn't have an IEP already? But he's on medication?
I feel for you, but I don't understand why a diagnosed and medicated child isn't already receiving special services. My daughter was diagnosed in 5th grade, and even though we haven't used medication (yet) she is absolutely receiving all the resource services available through the district.
I should add that socially she is fine, other than being easily distracted and chatty she gets along well with others and follows the rules to the best of her ability.
Please do whatever you can to get an IEP in place right away, and if the behavior/fighting doesn't improve try switching medications. I have heard that's something you need to constantly evaluate and adjust, especially as they go through their tween/teen years. You may also want to have your son go through further testing, as sometimes ODD goes hand in hand with ADD/ADHD, as does general anxiety disorder (which my daughter also has and has received therapy for.)
Good luck, I know it's hard!!!

My DD has ADHD but was not diagnosed until middle school, so I know how hard it is with school struggles. I want to let you know that she also got a really, really tough, drill sargent type teacher for 5th grade. I was worried she would be in tears every day. A lot of her friends had already transferred schools. She didn't have one close friend in her classroom. But guess what, she thrived academically that year. She LOVED her teacher. She was excited that she actually had a teacher that set higher expectations for her. There were a lot of students who struggled in her classroom, but my DD prided herself on being one of her teacher's "good students." She was motivated to NOT be one of the kids her teacher got after. It could have been a healthy dose of fear, but she didn't seem overwhelmed or stressed by it at all. The fact that the teacher's classroom was orderly and predictable was a very, very good thing for her.

Personally, I think it highly unprofessional of the 4th grade teacher to speak out so negatively to parents about another teacher. I'm glad you're meeting with the principal. This whole assignment could be an oversight anyway. It does happen. The time to work on it with the prinicipal is now. Go in to the meeting with an open mind. Try not to get so wrapped up in what other parents say about a particular teacher.

I agree with Jill F. Going in with your guns drawn will not gain you anything, and taking him off his meds with an "I'll show you" attitude will most likely make things worse. (It's also not fair to the other students who may innocently be harmed by his behavior.)

You have every right to be frustrated and you do need to sit down with the principal or school counselor. Make that appointment tomorrow and discuss options for your child. Given that you are very upset right now, I would suggest making a list of things to discuss so that you can stay on topic and be productive.

Please do not threaten them. Keep your demeanor calm and state your concerns. Has the school suggested an IEP earlier? It may be time to revisit and see if he qualifies or fits under a 504 plan.

Good luck- please, please keep us posted.

I would be furiuos as well. This should not have happened. When you speak to the principal make sure to say how other teachers specifically mentioned that this teacher is a bad fit for your child.Call upon those teachers if you need to.
Also-it is important to have an IEP in your situation. This will give you much more leverage with your school. going forward.

Sounds like he needs an IEP and would be much better off with special
services If it was me, I would be on that right now. Why make him
struggle so when things could be easier. It does not make sense to me.
You say you did PTA, volunteering, etc. and this is what you get in return.
Then you are volunteering for the wrong reason. One has nothing to do with the other. Get him the services he needs and deserves. Please. I told
the school to call my daughter what they wanted to get her the services she
needed. OMG she flourished in a special setting. I was told she would never read, speak attend regular school. Yeah right. Put into the right
program, she soared. She worked hard. She is now a surgical tech in the
OR, an EMT and volunteer firefighter. So you see with the services, miracles can happen. Give him the chance.

I hope that your talk with the principal goes well. It might help if you write down a list of your points ahead of time so that you will sound less emotional. I usually start with more general questions to "test the waters". Are they aware of the struggles your child had last year? What do they plan to do to make this year more successful? Do they think this teacher is the best fit? What extra training has she had in dealing with ADHD/Autism/ other special needs? What testing can they provide to see if your son qualifies for an IEP? Can you get that in writing?
My son went through being placed with the wrong teacher in 1st grade, even though he already had an IEP. On paper, the teacher sounded like a good fit. Teaching for 27 years, had even worked in the special ed department. But from the moment we met her, I was concerned. I don't think she believed us about how bad his ADHD/Aspergers was. She was not interested in hearing what had worked for us and our son's previous teachers. She chose to start the year off without an aide(even though he needed one the year before), to see what would happen.... By Christmas, the IEP committee told us he would be switched to a different teacher. I think they used the excuse that the 1st one was better at working with kids who needed help with reading, and our son didn't. Though the 2nd teacher was much better, our son lost out on time he could have been learning and had to start over again making friends.

I know what you mean about wanting to show the school what happens without the meds. I have felt that way too. I'm not sure how to say it right, but it was almost like a couple of the teachers were patting themselves on the back for curing his behavior. Although they did work very hard to help him and I appreciated it, I felt that 90% of the improvement was due to my son starting ADHD meds in 2nd grade. I didn't stop the meds on purpose, but there were a couple days last year when my son forgot to take his medicine. When that happened, the school could not deal with his behavior, and sent him home for the rest of the day. It took almost a week to get him back on track.

Wow. Your school is really negligent her with respect to the IEP and I'll try not to react to the "stick a label on" comment because those of us who practice with professionally do not do so.

Having said that, as a special education administrator I RARELY recommend this, but it sounds like it's time to get an educational advocate. Legally, your district must provide you with the name of one. At the very least, your son qualifies for a Section 504 plan (not special education and falls under the ADA). The language of the Federal law is something like "who has or is reasonably suspected of having a disabling condition". Sounds about right.

Time to lawyer up... in educational terms, time to find an advocate for your child. Make sure that your advocate requests/demands an Independent Educationa Evaluation (IEE). You are entitled to one if you have reason to disagree with the school's assessment of your child. If you need/want help, feel free to message me.

I am sorry. That is tough. I have a son with some special needs and even though he is only going into kindergarten this year we have had some bad experiences with teachers already. It was to the degree that one special ed teacher suggested that he stand in the corner until he can figure out how to get his backpack off and onto a hook without help (he has really bad motor planning problems-dyspraxia). She did not care if it took the whole day.

Call the principal and maybe even get the teachers who he worked with last year involved... I bet something can be worked out between all of you. I had a friend whose son was put in a class that would not have worked for him and she talked to the school and they did move him classes.

Good Luck! I am very sorry this happened but I bet you can get the class switched! Let us know what happens!

Schedule a face-to-face meeting with the Principal immediately. You do have the right to an explanation. I get your feelings though....You have made a point of volunteering at the school and helping out as much as possible. You thought that since they obviously knew you that perhaps that they would have more consideration for your son's needs.

I had a meeting at my son's school with the Principal last week. One of my issues was a child in his kindergarten class that was a bully. This child was incredibly disruptive and was quite mean to my child. I complained at the time and was given lip service. This child finally had to be switched to another class when he physically assaulted two other students. This child has an unusual name...when I said the name of the child, the Principal knew EXACTLY who I was talking about.

I made it clear that if my child ended up in the same class with this bully, then I would be watching closedly. I made it quite clear that at the first sign of a problem, I would be in HER office again to discuss it. She made a note and assured me that they would be in separate classes.

I wish you luck-the structure may be what he needs-please don't read anything into this but are you familiar with the following case?

http://www.pressherald.com/news/a-mothers-book-explores-h...

Any chance this is a case of simple mistake? I have volunteered extensively at my kids' schools too and I know how chaotic it can get and how difficult this time of year can be with multiple teacher requests, changes to staffing, changes to the student roster, balancing a variety of issues in the classroom make-up, etc. As the others have said I think it is VERY important to remain calm and matter of fact in your meeting. Approach it with an attitude of seeking information and figuring out what is in the best interests of your son. It's important to the school and staff also for your son to succeed. Getting angry or making assumptions about what happened here will make them defensive and not help your cause.

As for special services, it might be time to discuss with his medical professionals if that is in his best interest in the long term. Finally, if he does end up with this teacher and it's not working out does your school have a system for requesting a change? That rarely happened at our elelmentary school, but I know in special cases parents were allowed to request a change of teacher after the school year had started. Good luck.

My children all have problems. Speech for one, Severe speech delay due to CHD and Failure to thrive for one, and ADHD at the lowest diagnoses for another. Life is what it is. Label or not.

Anyways, my sister is a principle for another school district and this is the website she refers me to always. Apparently some lawyer made all the laws for challenged students and students alike all written down on this site for all to access. Down to if you really even have to buy school supplies by law. We talked about that one on Sunday at a shower.

http://www.wrightslaw.com/

Anyways, that is a great site and as my sister so nicely told me once take a day to read it and learn about what your children's rights truly are, what they are not, and what I should be doing and they should be doing. I did as she suggested and am so happy she directed me to this site.

Do you have a 504 plan? If your son has a medical diagnosis (which he does), then the school has to make a 504 plan to accommodate his needs. Talk to the school social worker ASAP to get one going. It seems like having a teacher who could work with him would be a necessary accommodation!

Good luck!

If I felt as strongly as you, I would put my child into a school with other kids like him. Remove him completely from the public school he is at and send him to a specialty school.
From a different standpoint...he must do pretty good in school otherwise they would have already evaluated him for an IEP? In our school district it is always the goal to mainstream these students but in turn they have a Paraprofessional with the child constantly. This does solidify the fact that he is "different" from other kids and can affect the friendships he has in school.
Just wanted to add my two cents as a special Ed para.