Taking a 10Mo to a Concert - Advice/Tips/Opinions

Updated on September 28, 2008
M.L. asks from East Stroudsburg, PA
33 answers

DH got me tickets for a Colplay concert in late October, and while it would be relatively easy for someone to babysit my son (he'll be 5 in Nov), my DD is another story. She's 10mo, eats solids but exclusively breastfeeds (she's maybe taken a bottle 5 times since 6wkso, after 9 kinds of bottles, $150, lots of bottle-givers later, we've had to accept she's just not a bottle-loving baby) so no one will be able to care for her for the 3 hrs we'll be out. (edit: I don't have any family/friends around willing to care for the baby at 8pm-11ish, possibly my MIL but she's never babysat the baby, esp during sleep time. I'm worried that DD will rouse after i leave her won't be able to be comforted/settle down the entire time we're gone, as she's usually nursed back to sleep.)

Is bringing a baby to a concert ridiculous? My cousin brought her 2 and 4 yr old boys to the same concert this summer and she said they just needed to wear headphones. DD is a very mellow baby and not easily bothered by loud noise or crowds so i truly think she'll be in my front carrier just sleeping the entire show. Any advice, tips or opinions would be helpful. Thank you!

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So What Happened?

ok, we went to the coldplay concert last night and DID NOT bring dd with us LOL

thankfully this week, we lucked out and were able to get some good friends to babysit both kids (from around 7ish -11:30pm) and everyone did surprisingly very well... thank goodness!! dd napped for 1 hour before getting to their home, so she wasn't tired for bedtime by the time we left (which i preferred because i knew it would be tough for her babysitters to put her down since part of her routine is nursing her). so i bfed dd before we left and she played with toys, snacked, brushed her teeth and only slept a 1/2 hr the entire time we were gone, while her older bro played video games with our friend's older son.

so i didnt have to resort to bringing dd to the concert after all and i'm glad i didn't since, like many of you said, it was very loud, crowded, hot and i was able to have a fun night out with dh.

thanks for all your input to my previous post, everyone!

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A.G.

answers from New York on

EAR PROTECTION!!!!! Then go for it, although if there was any way to leave her home it would be more fun for you to not have to worry about her. A.

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L.L.

answers from New York on

I would have to say it depends on the kind of concert! I don't think I'd take my child just because of the masses of people and the noise. Lynsey

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T.W.

answers from Buffalo on

I brought my 4 month old to a Billy Joel concert. First I called the arena to make sure it wasnt a problem. They do have ear plugs you can buy, but I didnt bother....it was Billy Joel, after all, not ACDC! Then, I wore him in in a sling and nursed him before the show began. Then he sat on my lap and watched the lioghts and listened to the music. Then he fell asleep and slept for the whole last half of the concet. I got a bunch of funny looks, but thats the way the worls works I guess. I'm a nursing Mom and if my baby is allowed, I'm brining him. If now, I will stay home. I WONT be separated from my baby. Because your baby is a bit older, I might also suggest bringing some favorite finger snacks for her to much on, but I dont see a problem with it because I understand the importance of the nursing relationship. Have fun and bring your baby!

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K.B.

answers from New York on

Hello M.,

I personally would NOT take an infant to a concert. Concerts are very loud, not good for baby. My daughter teaches, piano, vocal, she has gone to music college, you can damage the young ear drums, not worth the risk. 3 hours is not a lot of time to leave the baby. Have you used a breast pump & bottled the milk?, feed her just before you leave & use that?

I would give up the concert before I would take the baby, I believe there are sacrifices we make being parents & that is to put our children first. Hope you don't mind, you did ask for "opinions". I think the baby will be fine if she has a sitter, better than taking her to the concert.
~ K.

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T.M.

answers from New York on

Well, why bother going to concert if you'll be too worried about your daughter to actually enjoy the show? I don't see any harm in bringing her along. You deserve a little fun, and if she begins to cry you could always step out for a moment to calm her down. You'll never know how she will behave in a sitution like that until you try it once, and if it doesn't work out, you'll know better for next time. I personally understand that my two little ones can only do Disney movies!! God Help Me!
Though you should seriously focus on getting her use to a bottle. It would be good for your marriage for the two of you to be able to go out alone and enjoy eachothers company peacefully.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

I took my daughter everywhere also, but the only places it didn't work was where there was live music - and I'm not talking loud (to you or me) concerts, I'm just talking about live music in a bar or open air venue. You can try the sound cancellation head sets, if you can find some her size, but be prepared to have to leave. Otherwise, leave her home with some expressed milk and either a bottle or sippy cup, and then go out and ENJOY yourself. She'll be FINE for however many hours you may be at the concert, whether she decides to drink it or not. Have fun!

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A.M.

answers from New York on

interesting.... well my daughter is 8 months, and EBF, doesnt even really eat solids now. i take my children everywhere. my husband and i enjoy family time and dont feel the children impede our "adult time".
now on to your question. i wouldnt do it because of the possible harm to her hearing. also i would anticipate it being very difficult to get her asleep, and i really dont think she will wear headphones. now if you are only gone 3 hours, i would think she would be fine. nurse her right before you leave and feed her solids later than usual. if the time is correct, get her to sleep right before you leave. i would leave a bottle in case, you never know.
now i would only do this with my MIL. i know she wouldnt be annoyed if the baby did happen to cry alot. my father wouldnt do as well, so choose a sitter carefully, make sure its a grandparent as they will be most tolerable. now this is my scenerio, however, personally i wouldnt even bother or risk her being overly upset.
since its a month away, you could also experiment with trying to give her a sippy cup, or better yet, a regular little cup. i have heard lots of moms who had trouble nursing in the beginning getting the baby to take the milk from the cup. if she is truly hungry, she will, but if its comfort, maybe there is something else that comforts her?
im assuming you mean a real concert at a large theatre situation. now i took my daughter to a lawn concert no problem so it does depend on where, seating arrangements, and loudness. also, im really, really, really wondering what DH says. i mean, my dh wouldnt bother buying the tickets since he knows i wouldnt leave the baby. since your dh bought them for YOU, what did he expect to happen with the baby? i do wonder if it was a hint? idk, let us know!!!! good luck

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K.S.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,

I don't think that taking your 10-month-old to a concert is a great idea, because it's going to disrupt her sleep and you won't be able to fully enjoy the concert out of concern for her.

But if you do, you absolutely need to have very strong earplug or noise-canceling earphones for her. Our ears are exquisitely sensitive organs, and concerts today are way too loud for the health of our ears. You know this ringing in the ear we often get after a concert? It's sign of ear damage... Even one concert, if she's not protected, can damage her hearing. You may not be able to see it right away, but any damage is permanent, and I am pretty sure she'll want to go to concerts too when she's older, and it'll just add to it.

I always had earplugs when going to concerts, especially indoors, and now I hear more than about anyone around me, and perfectly hear music on 2 or 3 on an mp3 player, while most of the people around me don't even hear the music at that level. Protect her hearing, it's one of the great gifts you can give her.

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D.C.

answers from Albany on

If you'll only be gone for 3 hours, it should be ok to leave her home with her brother and babysitter. Nurse her right before you leave and then the babysitter can give her solids while you're gone if she gets hungry. She's not a newborn who should be nursing every 2 hours, she'll be fine.... and you deserve a few hours out to enjoy your concert. I don't think that bringing a nursing baby is ridiculous, but I'd be nervous that the noise would hurt her ears. Even if she's so easy-going that she doesn't complain that the noise is too loud, it could still be causing damage to her tiny ears.
Good luck. Enjoy the concert.

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H.G.

answers from New York on

Will she really sleep, and stay asleep when you transfer her to the carseat and crib? If so, why not? (I'm assuming this isn't a Metallica concert, right?) My son would definitely not make it, but he's not as mellow as your little girl. :)

It's hard, having her refuse a bottle. Have you tried a sippy cup? My son loves the Nuby (it's a soft spout), and it gives him the freedom to drink sometimes without mama. Just an idea!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

I would stay home. Why would you subject a baby to a
concert!!!!!!! Or you need to bite the bullet and get a
sitter. She will not starve. Sorry, I am sure this is
not what you want to hear.

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E.S.

answers from Buffalo on

Hey Mom,
The noises may not bother her now..but they are NOT good for her little ears with or without earphones.
Give yourself a night off. Get her used to a bottle, practice daily now and you will give yourself a mini break. Anyone who loves you will watch her.
Personally..I think taking children to adult concerts is inapropriate, but that is just me. You have time to practice and encourage the bottle for this fun evening that you deserve.

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D.B.

answers from New York on

Personally, I wouldn't do it. If you feed her right before you leave, 3 hours isn't unreasonable length in between feedngs at that age. That's actually perfect. Or mayybe yo can buy one of those bottle that resembles a breast in shape and feel, pump some breast milk, and try that between now and then... good luck

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J.G.

answers from New York on

My daughter would not take a bottle either. But by this age (10 mos) I think you can safely leave her with someone for several hours. If she's hungry she can have some cereal or other solids. And I bet she would drink something from a sippy cup, or even a regular cup, if she was really thirsty.

(I think mine was on a sippy cup by this age.)

Give yourself a break! Go to the concert baby-free!!

I just re-read your question... Not having a babysitter is a different problem. Try to "train" someone starting now. Maybe do a couple of practice runs with your MIL.

Good luck!

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M.A.

answers from New York on

M., it doesn't sound like you have much of a choice as to whether you should take her or not and that is really what makes the decision for you in the end. My husband and I got some awesome courtside seat tickets to the US Open to see the match between Venus and Serena and there were people who advised us not to take our 8 month old (7 months at the time) daughter. However, we did not have much of a choice in the matter and ended up taking her anyway.

She behaved a lot better than most expected but whenever she made a sound some people still gave you that look of "you brought a child to the game at this late hour??!!" We weren't bothered by their stares or comments because as far as we were concerned our daughter was safe with us and we already knew that some people would naturally be offended.

The major problem we had however was that the distractions soon became overwhelming for our daughter. There were so many people, and the lights were so bright that she wasn't able to get to sleep and became very cranky after a while. Eventually my husband had to take her out of the stadium to a quiet place and she fell asleep shortly after that.

So, my advice would be to make sure that you are close to an exit that allows you to get away from the distractions just in case it becomes overwhelming for your daughter. Earplugs may be helpful as far as softening the effect of the noise on her ear drum and you'll also need to stay close to a restroom for emergency changes.

Otherwise, I wish you all the best and I pray that you will have fun at the concert. We enjoyed ourselves alot even though we missed a lot of the match. The most important thing is that we had our precious one with us and in the end it was worth it.

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M.W.

answers from New York on

Hi M. - I know a lot about ears and hearing - your child's ears are very sensitive at this age and can easily be hurt by the loud noise at the concert. Other's have responded with this too and I wanted to reinforce. Leave her home - she'll be fine at home and her ears MUCH better off! She won't wear headphones - and the headphones in and of themselves are not usually enough to block out enough noise (depending on the headphones). Basically - if you are within 3 feet of another person and you need to yell/shout or really raise your voice to be heard - the noise is at damaging levels. The longer you are in that noise - the more damage that occurs. Children moreso. Enjoy the concert - and your baby will enjoy being home (and being able to hear when she's 50!!! LOL)

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B.F.

answers from New York on

Please do NOT take your infant child to the concert. Their ears are very sensative and you can do major damage to her hearing even if you think it isnt bothering her. You can feed her just before you leave & then again upon your arival home. If you expect her to sleep the whole time of the show, then let her stay home to sleep in peace & quiet.

Also, you will have a better time if you dont have to worry if she is OK the whole time.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

I exclusively breastfed both of my children (until 19 1/2 months and 2 1/2 years). I got them used to a bottle before a year, because it was important for my sanity that me and my husband got out for dates. You have enough time to train her on a bottle. OR if it's really only going to be three hours that you're out, you can nurse her right before you leave and as soon as you get back. At 10 months she should be able to go much longer than that without nursing. Let yourself have fun with your hubby.

Note that though your baby is good with loud noises, a concert is extra amplified noise for two hours straight. You really can't know how she'll react and it probably isn't good for her developing, sensistive hearing. If she's a mellow baby, she shouldn't give a sitter a hard time. Do a trial run before the show (maybe two hours) with you fairly nearby in case there is an hour of crying. I'm sure you'll all be happier with the progressing relationship and your hubby can feel like he still has a wife and not just the mother to his children.

Just my two cents,
M.

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J.H.

answers from Syracuse on

Hi M.,

I guess I don't undertstand why you have to take the baby? If you are only going to be gone for a few hours, and she'll eat solids, why can't you leave her with a sitter? Not having a bottle for a few hours (or your breast, as I re-read your post) isn't going to hurt her...not at her age.
Nurse her right before you leave...she'll be waiting for you when you get home for a little night cap!! LOL.

I say leave the kids home and have a nice few hours of adult time!!

Best wishes,
J.

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V.M.

answers from New York on

Put some breat milk in a bottle, hire a sitter for BOTH kids and give yourself a break. She will survive for 3 hours with a sitter. Feed her before you leave and she won't starve to death, if she even gets hungry, before you get back. Have fun, remember your relationship with hubby matters too.

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S.D.

answers from Glens Falls on

I would be worried that she would cry through the entire show. Have you tried a cup yet? We bought a special first cup, the spout was soft. Give it a try and ask around for a friend to come and stay, do a night out in early October to see how it goes. I also nursed my babies and didn't do to parties etc.. i wish I had tried a cup earlier. Now we have a foster baby and she gave up the bottle at 10 months, so maybe your baby will like the cup. Good Luck

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Some venues have age restrictions for certain events so there is a chance that they will not let you in to begin with. Assuming it's a rock concert and not the symphony, I don't think it's the place for a baby. When I go to concerts, my ears ring for a day. I don't think that the noise will be good for her.

I know it sounds crazy, but if you really want to go, can you bring someone (an adult) to watch her in the car? You can feed her before and after. That person can then just hang in the car while she sleeps or walk her around in the stroller. You'd have to owe that person big time - but they can bring a book or portable DVD and then ask you for a big favor in return one day!!

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M.J.

answers from New York on

I would say leave her home. 3 hours of no food is certainly NOT going to hurt a 10 month old. She is old enough to eat her solids and if she is thirsty, she will take a bottle - even if it only has water in it.

Go out and have fun without your children.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

NOT CRAZY AT ALL. I have brought my daughter to a few concerts since she was born (she is 9 mo) and I have a gf who has brought her son (same age) to like ten concerts. Generally, they fall asleep or really enjoy the music. If it is really loud maybe see if you can get those ear muff style covers for sounds.
Good luck and make sure you enjoy!!!

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J.L.

answers from New York on

I bring my EBF son almost everywhere, but I wouldn't to a concert. If you insist on bringing her, Peltar headphones are excellent. You can't hear a thing! You can only order them online so you'll have to hurry.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi M., You can bring your baby to a concert but I think you should try to cover her ears if the music is loud. Enjoy! Grandma Mary

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C.L.

answers from Buffalo on

I've read many of the earlier responses and don't necessarily agree with all of them. We have taken our son to two outdoor concerts this summer. The first was at 6 months and the second was at 7 months. The first was a "mellow" show (Hippiefest) and the second was in a big field (The Trews). We stayed as far back from the speakers as possible for both shows. Before each show my husband I decided who would leave the show if the baby needed. Neither of us had to leave. He had fun looking around at all the people (who by the way were very kind and friendly - then he slept for part of the show).

We chose our concerts carefully and decided not to bring him to the heavier shows (ie: Judas Priest).

Trust your instincts; only you know your child. Be prepared to leave early if need be and enjoy life. I believe introducing you child to new adventures in the safety of your arms is never a bad experience.

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H.P.

answers from New York on

Relax and have fun WITHOUT your kids. As others have said, a 10 month old will be fine for a few hours if you give her other food. Does she still wake up every 3 hours for breast milk? Also, do you really want to breastfeed in the middle of a concert? And what if she IS one of those babies who hate loud noises (like my daughter)? You'd have to leave in the middle...

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E.M.

answers from Albany on

I'm not sure what type of concert it is...or where it is (family friendly?). You should call ahead and see if it's okay to bring your baby there. If the venue says no, then don't go. That being said...I take my two boys everywhere my husband and I go. (There is no-one to take care of them, in addition to the fact that I'd really like to share in those "concert" experiences with them). My boys have always come along...since the womb. Yes, of course really good ear protection is all that they need. When my boys were babies they did sleep the whole time! It's great as they get older because then they can groove with you!

Good Luck!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
Depending on what the concert is, it might be fine, although even with headphones that a baby may get fussy about and might make nursing more difficult, the noise level would concern me - even if it doesn't bother your baby, just the decibel level and their developing hearing would make me not do this. At 10 months, does she really need to nurse every 3 hours? At this age, I'd likely leave baby home with a sitter or relative, and hope for the best. If she really wants milk, she'll manage to take a bottle or cup. I'd feel differently about that if you were missing more than one feeding, or if it was a very young baby still dependent only on the breastmilk but nothing bad will happen if she misses a nursing other than that it might interfere with bedtime routine. I've always been a big fan of getting out without them, and since I started at a young age, it never got to be difficult leaving them - but that's just me.
Good luck and enjoy the show!

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A.L.

answers from New York on

Well, I would first figure out how often she nurses within a three hour period. Then I would decide if she is going to be sleeping most of the time at the concert, will she be doing the same thing at home. Also, with the bottle, have you ever tried to have some one else give it to her with breast milk in it, with you out of the room? Sometimes they refuse if they know you are still there, and they can smell your scent. I would think also if it (the concert) is going to even be enjoyable for you if you are having to worry about noise, crowds etc.
I would take all those things into consideration first then try to make a decision.
Good Luck
A.

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E.E.

answers from New York on

I think it's a bad idea to take her to the concert. All that loud noise, even with headphones, is not good for her ears. You said you are only going to be out for 3 hours. She can go at least 4 hours without eating at 10 months old and she is eating solids. So you can leave her with a babysitter and if she is hungry, the babysitter can offer her solids and pumped milk. If she doesn't drink the milk, it's not the end of the world, and you won't be gone that long, so she will be fine. It's good for you and your marriage (and by extension, for your kids) to get out on your own as adults and do couples things. My son is also exclusively breastfed and he is almost 8 months. We go out to dinner or a movie, etc, about once a month and leave my son with his grandparents. He falls asleep fine and I feel renewed because I get some adult time and conversation. As a stay-at-home mom, you really do need that.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,

You didn't mention what type of concert. I'm assuming it's loud music, which isn't good for your daughter's ears.

I would leave the baby home with a sitter. She should be able to go 4 hours without nursing.

Could this be your husband's way of saying "I want to spend some special time with you"?

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