My husband and I have started potty training with our 3 1/2 year old son in the last few weeks. He took to it right away, going #1 the very first day standing up in front of the toilet. He was very excited because we use a reinforcer if he goes in the "potty like a big boy" which is a skittle. He loves skittles more than anything. I know using candy is not ideal, but with him it really works! Our son is high functioning autistic which in our case means that he has had a language delay. He is in a very good school and his language skills have improved tremendously. The school is also particpating in the potty training during his time there, which is from nine to four, Monday through Friday.
Now to the problem. A week ago he suddenly stopped going at all during the day at school. He held his pee all day long until we got home and then had a huge accident when we walked in the door. The next day he did the same thing and then could not go at all. I was very concerned so I took him in to the Doctor and we had to have him put a catheter in. It was very traumatic to say the least. Apparently he had held it so long that his bladder spasmed. We were advised that this was a behavioral issue, as all his labs came back clear. My son is back in pull ups for awhile to let him relax and let his bladder relax. We are at a loss as to why he may be doing this all of a sudden when he was so excited to use the bathroom previously. Has anyone out there ever experienced anything like this?
I would talk to his school and see how they are handling the potty training and if anything happened at school to cause this. My guess is their is a reason he doesn't want to go pee at school. Look into it. Other than that ease up on him about going potty like you are and talk to him and find out why he doesn't want to go potty in the bathroom. Still talk to his school, if he stopped at school my guess is, it is school related. good luck
I hate to tell you that the only time my son regressed in potty training was when he had bad experiences at daycare. For a child, a bad experience could be something as small as teasing from another child or scolding from a provider for having an accident. Check in with the school first.
Also, children love feeling like they have control and potty training is one area where they have complete control...not much you can do to change his mind without bungling the experience and making things worse. Try giving him more choices in other areas such as food, clothes, shoes, etc. If he feels he has some control in other areas and you keep encouraging...not pushing him to use the potty, he may decide to go back to it.
Also, due to his autism and developmental delays, he just may not be ready. Lots of children start potty training with gusto and then realize that it is work, that it interupts their play time and they aren't ready to do it. Be patient, keep encouraging him and reading him books or letting him watch dad use the potty.
I wonder if something traumatic happened at school when he did go one day, or maybe they don't give him a skittle when he goes.
W. M.
Hi, I'm H.. I'm 43 and I also have a 3 1/2 year old. At first she loved the potty, trying to go all the time. Then after a few days she lost interest. She still pooped in the potty everyday, with no accidents, but refused to pee in the potty. She knew when she was going, even telling me, I'm peeing in my pull-up right now. I just let it go. I mentioned in every now and then, asking her if she felt like using the potty. One day she said yes and has been using the "big potty" ever since. She just wasn't mentally ready before and and when she was ready, it was a done deal. No battles, almost no accidents. I say wait till it's his idea, especially after that medical trauma. Good luck and you're doing a great job.
I agree with the other moms about something traumatic happening at school. Whether that trauma was real or "imagined" (I can't think of a better word Sorry!), it was real to him. Try asking him about what goes on at school, but if he's embarrassed about something, he may not tell you. Ask his teachers about his behavior at school, his participation, if anything has changed, etc. It could be something as simple as one of the other kids having an accident!
It's tough. It's super that you have a supportive hubby to help. My oldest is now four and a half and was "potty-trained" several times for short periods. He was fully successfully potty trained at 4 years old. They really are ready at different stages and phases and it will happen. Even at 4 years old he wore training pants to bed. He never wet in them, but it's a security thing I guess. He told me when he was ready to go to bed with big boy undies.
Just when we thought we had it DONE, he went to Disneyland with my Mom and a toilet flushed automatically while he was getting off of it !! There went the public restrooms as an option. He is just now able to go in a public bathroom and only when I force him on and hold him. HOWEVER, I travel a lot and he will now "go" outside in the trees or once in a parking lot. You do what you have too right?
Good luck.
Sounds like he just doesn't want to go at school--and you'll have to figure out why. Could be anything from simply being petrified about having an accident in school to one of the kids said something to him to something made a scary noise in the school bathroom (public toilet flushing noises often freak out kids, and public bathrooms also tend to be echo-y places)
bullying,intimidation,robbery and sexual harassment can happen in public bathrooms.even if it's just teasing-it can be enough to make you want to avoid using the bathroom.i think something happened.i rarely used my highchool bathroom.
My son holds his pee if we are out - he really hates public restrooms the toilets flush louder and if there's a smell he complains at the top of his lungs. SO, I have to drag him in and sit him on the toilet - sometimes he holds it in spite of the fact that I know he needs to go.
My mom "water trained" us - she ran the sink at a trickle while we sat on the toilet. To this day I have to pee whenever I hear water running. SO, if I can I turn on the sink when my son is reluctant to go and it seems to do the trick. I tell him to listen to the water and think about pee. Wierd - but effective.
Something happened between "now" and "then", and possibly at school, to make him want to hold his bladder. You can try to talk to him about it, but I would seek advice from a professional child psychologist. I've heard of kids wanting to hold their bowel movements due to it hurting (hard stool) or other, but never the bladder (peepee).
No big deal, keep him on diapers for a while longer, he'll get back to being potty trained soon after you resolve the conflict in his head. I wouldn't wait, go find someone professional to speak with him, and you, asap. Then things will fall back into place!
I am sorry to hear about the catheter. My son is also high functioning autistic. We battled the potty issue for a long time, then I just stopped. I put him in cloth diapers with the vinyl covers and quit worrying. That may not be an option for you since your son is in a day school, but you could check to see if they are willing to do it with you. The pull ups never worked for us because he couldn't tell when he was wet. In the spring and summer he would play outside in the backyard with no pants on. It really helped for him to be able to know without a doubt that he was wet. My son does not do well with change, so maybe something at school changed (paint, flooring, toilet, soap, new teacher or aide, etc). When something changes my son resists. In fact we use to go to a library that he loved, the library refinished the floor and my son has refused to set foot into the library ever again. It has been almost a year and my son will not enter the library. Our children present many special challenges. I hope this helps and you find a solution that works for your son. Good luck!
Have you contacted the Teachers/School about any incidents that happened while at school? I remember once at preschool my son asked to go pee and was then told to wait. So of course he waited too long and peed in his pants. We provide a change of clothes at the begining of the year so he was taken care of and I was very surprised when I picked him up to hear what happened. The teacher who is very nice smiled and just explained that it happens sometimes, but later when I gently questioned my son about what happened he told me that he did ask to go pee and was told to hold it. Apperantly the teacher forgot he had to go and he didn't want to ask again. So perhaps something was said to your son by a teacher or student which has been misinterpreted or not understood. My children get sensitive sometimes when other adults correct or guide them so it could be an emotional block.
