hey my stepson's mother did not call today so we could have him for a while on thanksgiving it is always like this and my husband just lets it go on so not to make her mad because she is alittle wacked out if you know what i mean. ha ha i just feel bad for my husband because i know it hurts him but yet he just lets her get by with it. help is there anyone out there that can help. thanks L. w.
thank you for your advice, but the bad thing is that the courts already have set the guidelines and yes of cource she is the only one that doesn't follow them!!! my husband seems to think that there will be a time when he will live with us so he doesn't want to rock the boat. if it were me i would put her in her place and whether she got mad or not she is a very very cold ------- person(-----) someone who doesn't need to have kids.
thanks alot.
L. w.
What she said..haha. I had a whole response typed out without seeing the first response. Good minds think alike!
K.
L.,
You can take her to court for contempt. You need to document all times she has denied visitation. You can actually do this yourself or start it and then bring in an attorney. I have the templates if needed. Supposedly after so many times of conempt it can be used as a reason to move custody to the other parent. My huband also does not like rocking the boat. He trys putting the kids first even when he is the only one. Many times he sacrifices his feeling and emotions to make sure the kids are not put in a bad spot. Even though he tries not to show it, I know he hurts. Good Luck....
dear L., I have a 13 year old who has visitation with her dad and step mother also. So I'm on the flip side of your situation. Clearly we adults are not close but we correspond to each other in a respectful and mature way for the childs sake. Thats what it should be about, is the child. Whether you or your husband, needs to talk to mom and set guidelines as to visitation times. She may not even realize it's causing a problem. On the other hand, if she gets an attitude, have the courts to set guidelines so the child will be more stablized, after all, all three of you should be thinking of the child, not yourselves. Bottom line, set guidelines always are best to keep peace.
I would talk to my husband, tell her to contact her and sit down and say we need to work on this for our son he needs to be in both of our lives,and if we can not com to a conclusion we will have too do it in family court.try to civil as possible let your husband be the one to do the talking if she refuses your husband could take her back to court and not only file for his visitation he could ask for joint custody and there fore he will only pay child support for half the time. but he needs to do this for his son often the family courts appoint a meadator to drop off and pick up the childern child if they can not agree and sense your husband didnt have him thanksgiving he should have him christmas eve or christmas day
hoildays have to be roltated so both parents get there child on every other holiday
I know it can be a drag, but I'd think about trying to have Thanksgiving dinner either on a different weekend--or have it twice. You don't want your stepson to grow up thinking he wasn't part of your family because he didn't celebrate the holiday with you. He's probably already feeling out of place as the only boy.
Other than that, I can only think of setting your foot down--well, your husband is going to have to do it more than likely and get an alternating holiday schedule so you get him every other year--or you get him on Friday.
If the courts have set the guidelines for visitation and she is not following them you can take her back to court. She is legally bound to follow the guidelines set by the court and can be fined or jailed for not. I would talk to a lawyer. As a divorced and re-married mother, I can't imagine not letting my daughter see her dad. No matter how I feel about him, it is her RIGHT to know him and interfering in that will come back to bite her when your step-son gets older.
Hello!
I am the step mom of 3 wonderful boys (11,9,7). Their mother has custody of the 9 year old, just since Feb 2006--WHOLE other story!! When my husband and I first got together, oh, she was so hurtful and h*** o* those boys. She would only see them when "she wasnt busy or had time" EXCUSE ME--they are your children?!?!?! However, things have changed and shes actually trying to be their MOTHER again..amazingly, but its true. She and I keep a pretty good grip on what all of the kids are doing and we now get a long fairly well. My husband would always let her get away with EVERYTHING and it always made me sooo mad. So, one time when they had court, I went with him. He had told me, "You dont get the chance to say anything extra to the judge." I was like, MAKE IT A POINT to bring it up. Well, he never did and of course, we always got screwed. She got to do what she wanted when she wanted. So, even if you take her for "contempt" good luck to you!!! Well, would love to talk if you ever have time!
Good luck
Mandy :-)
Your husband is going to have to have a talk with her at one time or another or it will never get straightened out.You know where there is a will there is a way.Ihope that this helps out. Good luck 2 all of you.your friend:S.
Dear L.,
There are specific parenting guidlines in Indiana which are very strictly enforced by Indiana courts. If there are court ordered visitations then she is in violation and in contempt of court. Lawyers are expensive but the law is the law and very specific about parental rights. Good luck!!!
B. C.
Don't feel bad. We're running into issues with my boyfriend's exwife too. He's current on his child support, he buys his daugter's clothes, pays his daughter's schooling, buys his daughter meds when she's sick, and takes her atleast every other weekend if not more...but his ex wants more money for child support. The kid don't see a penny of her child support money because her mom spends it on herself and her grandbaby. His ex hates me because I have a very close relationship with her daughter. His ex is always trying to get him to fix things on her house or rearrange her furnature for her because she's to lazy to do it herself. And on top of it all, his daughter who is only 15, we just found out is living on chips and dip because his ex won't keep food in the house for her to eat. She'll bring food for herself and cook it and eat it but won't make sure the kid has food and she's always threatening to hit her all the time. His daughter is talking about when she gets her license she's going to run away from home and come to my house. I suggest to save some time and heart ache, have him do what we're doing...go to court and get custody reversed.
As a step-mother for 26 years, I can tell you his best reponse is thru his attorney/courts. Especially if she is prone to being "wacked out" as you put it. Visitations should be set up thru the courts if the childs 2 parents cannot come to an agreement. If she will not follow the guidelines set up, then she will have to answer to the judge. Your husband may only be thinking of what his son has to tolerate from her. Meaning she may take out her frustrations on the boy, either mentally or physically.
