Standing up or Sitting down (How to Potty Train a Boy)

Hi A.,

MIL really need to mind their OWN business he is probably not ready don't force it... it will happen when it happens.
K.

A.,

Does the 'M' in MIL stand for "monster"? HA-HA-HEE-HEE LOL!!! I couldn't resist! I use to have one like that too. And I didn't have to divorce to get rid of her. Oh, and she's not dead either. We had a BIG blow up and I basically told her that WE are the parents and SHE is ONLY Grandma and to back off cause WE THE PARENTS will do it our way. In the most loving voice I could muster at the time. Now things between us are really good, believe it or not. In fact, they will be here Thursday and I'm really looking forward to it. I've come a long way baby! LOL

Now on to potty training boys. I have trained all 3 of mine this way and my sister's son too. I put them on the big potty (regular pot) without any little seat or anything. But the key is to place them backwards. At first, I'm there to help them hold on and to make sure we have no hands in the water and wads of tp down the toilet or 50 million flushes. Then we talk and I get their mind on something else like singing a song. This is the way they sit to poop and pee. If they poop on there backward, the pee goes into the pot. Which by the way, they will do EVERYTIME they poop. And if it's just pee, it stays in the pot and you don't have the mess of cleaning pee up from all over the bathroom. Here's my reasoning for why potty chairs doesn't work as well for boys. They are, by design, visual creatures. They want to SEE everything. That's why Victoria Secrets made the catalog and why men stand to pee. LOL! But true.
As for your little man standing to pee, it will come. My boys would first learn to sit backwards. Then, because of nasty women's bathrooms, I had them stand on my feet so I could control their hips until they learned how.
Now days my 2 and half yr old is completely potty trained. He goes to the bathroom on his own and has learned to control his hips and mastered 'hold it down.'

Now keep in mind, every child is an original design. That means no two are gonna potty train exactly the same or at the same time. So if your son doesn't train until 3 yrs old, he is still normal and don't let her tell you otherwise. Nothing wrong with trying when he is ready but 2yrs old is young to be pushy with it. And it is work for you and dad. You have to take him to the pot often to try. You have to stop the car and take him as soon as he says he has to go. It makes a 4hr trip turn into 8hrs. It can make you have to get out of line at the grocery store. You have to mentally get ready for what new responsibilities you are taking on with his training. And always take 1-2 extra complete sets of clothes and shoes with you at all times. (Shoes? When they are standing and pee themselves it runs down and can go into their shoes.) FUN, FUN, FUN!!!

Good luck to you. If you ever want to chat or have more questions, feel free to email me anytime at ____@____.com Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 13 (today he turns 13!!!), 8 & 2 yrs old and married to my Mr. Wonderful for almost 15yrs. I love to help moms, who want to become SAHMs, reach that goal!

A., on potty training or any other issue, remember: While we have to stand up for ourselves, it's also the role of your husband to get involved involved if his mother is getting in your face. I didn't see any mention of whether he's helping you out here--I really hope he is. Too often I've seen friends' husbands distance themselves or tell their wives (but not their moms!) to "chill out" when the MIL-DIL tensions start, especially after children come along. He's her son, and your husband, and he is the link between you in the first place, so he needs to be a calm but firm presence coming down on your side here. Whether he handles her with gentle humor ("Hey, mom, our son will be potty trained before college, OK? Can we talk about something else now?") or with direct dealing ("BOTH of us are working on potty-training our son, and we'd appreciate support for however and whenever we choose to do it; your comments may seem helpful to you but we see them as pressure, which is not supportive, so let me tell you some constructive ways to help us....")--either way it's appropriate for him to deal with his mom not just now but in the future too. Depending on your overall relationship with her, of course you can work with her directly, but if she's bugging you as much as it sounds like she is, he needs to step up. Maybe he's involved already--I hope so!

Hi A.. My name is B.. My son is now 13, but we went through the old MIL and also from my Mom, but ultimately my husband and I found what worked for us. As crazy as this may sound, our son was 2 years and seven months old when we decided to give it a go on the BIG POTTY. We purchased a little potty that when the pee-pee hit the stars in the bottom, they would light up. We took it into our bathroom and my husband proceeded to get onto his knees, go to the potty and do the "deed". Honestly, our son watched this ""ONE" time and did the same thing and that was that. Granted, it may not be that easy for you, but please don't get h*** o* yourself or your son. There is no "right way" to teach a boy or girl. They will learn in their own time and in their own way. You are a good mother I'm sure and your son will do just fine in his own time, not your MIL'S. Take Care and Goodluck!!!!!! B.

Personally we decided to teach our son to sit and go potty. 90% of the time he ends up having a bowel movement so for us it made more sense. During the summer months when we are outside is when we practice the standing and peeing because it doesn't make a mess. Our thought is that as he gets older the standing process will become easier and more natural. Until then I see no reason, unless that's what your son wants to do, to encourage him to stand to go potty. You do what's right for you and your son.

M. - stay at home mom of a 4yr old son and 9 month old daughter.

If you want to train him standing up, I've heard some people who've had good success with a child sized urinal that is sold in a catalog called One Step Ahead. Read the reviews that people post when they buy one.
Good luck!

With my son, sitting down was first and standing up came later. They are not really tall enough for standing up, particularly when you go out and no stool is available. I will warn you when they embrace nature for the first time that you want to have them aim low on tree not right at it. (What do I know? I'm not a boy!) Rest assured he will not head off to college un-potty trained so tell MIL to give it a rest. You will do far more damage to him by forcing something he is not ready for.

I have 3 children. 8 y/o boy, 3y/o girl and a 3month old boy. When my husband and I tried to potty train our son we had him standing up. We 1st introduced him to sitting on the potty and he would go sometimes but no all the time. So since he was a boy and most likely think it was neat to stand up and go potty, I had my husband show him how to do it and he caught on to it. I have to add that don't rush your child into potty training if he is not ready. My son was a little over 3 yrs old before he caught on with the whole thing. Most kids will let you know when they are ready. I think introducing him to the potty right now is a good thing but don't pressure him if he's not ready. This may lead him to delay being fully potty train. Just keep doing what you are doing with the praises and he will get it. As for the whole mess with the poop thing. Naturally they would want to sit down because it will be easier for "it" to come out and when they are ready they will know the difference. My son started to say his stomach hurt right before he needed to poo. So take your time and don't rush. Everyone is different. Girls potty train a lot faster then boys. But make sure if you are doing the whole potty training thing put them in pull ups and not diapers. this may confuse them if they are in diapers. The way I potty trained my daughter is I had her run around naked at first. and she caught on pretty quick. Im not sure if you would want to try that, some parents might be scared to try it, but it worked for my daughter. Another method my neighbor tried was the timer method. Every 15 mins take him to the potty and if he goes praise him with stickers and if not say good try and still give praises but w/o stickers. It worked for her son but not my daughter. I hope this helps and good luck and don't stress over it.

Hi A.,
I am a FTWM of a 3.5yo boy and 2.5yo girl.
My mother was the one pressuring us around 2 to potty train him. My son did not 'get it' until he was around 3 (He is is 3.5 now). Yes her nagging bothered me but I TRIED to let it go in one ear and out the other.

We did try around 2-2.5 but he was not ready. We used pullups but he peed/pooped as if he was wearing a diaper. When we tried again at around 3, we went straight to underwear (bedtime he wears pullups). That is what worked. I saw a big difference in maturity and comprehension which helped the second time around. I am not saying to not try at 2 but that it is child dependent. My daughter is 2.5 and we have started her with pullups (my husband kindly started her training). She started off well but now is regressing. I attribute it to both she AND I getting lazy (I forget to remind her). I am happy that she at least tells me she needs to poop in the toilet. We have placed her in diapers again and will try again when we are ready to start with underwear.

As for the standing vs sitting. You should see what is comfortable for your son. My son started out by sitting because that is what he preferred. It worked well for me while we were training because I could sit him on the toilet and remind him to push his 'wee wee' down toward the toilet. My husband reinforced the same sitting method for him.

At his daycare, some boys started with standing, some sitting (I asked the daycare provider). Not to long after learning the sitting method, he was interested in standing up to pee. At daycare they taught him to lean forward supporting himself on the side bars on the walls. At home he would stand on a step stool (my foot behind it so it would not slip out.) and he would lean forward and rest both hands on the toilet tank. This helped him to pee straight into the toilet and I could supervise without trying to show him how to aim (what do I know about aiming). When he was ready and got a little taller, daddy was able to progressively show him how to stand and aim into the toilet.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

Hi A.,

Relax and tell your MIL to back off. I have 2 kids, my son is 7 and daughter is 2. Your son will learn when he's ready, pushing him too soon will lead to lots of resistence and problems. Check www.askdrsears.com. Don't worry he'll learn when he's ready!

Good luck, S.

Why do people do this to Moms?? My now 9 year old son didn't fully potty train til he was 4. He started at 2 but he didn't really "get it" til 4 (just in time for nursery school!). My sister told me to use Potty Treats (we used M&Ms). If he "produced", he got tons of praise and some M&Ms. He loved it. My now 6 year old daughter was finished potty training before she was 3. They do it when they're ready and it seems like people want us to feel crazy and guilty about it. My friends always told me girls were faster than boys, but who knows. Tell your MIL that you don't want to make your son so crazy about it that he spends his entire adult life on th sofa of a therapist's office because his Mom made him nuts at potty training time. You'll be fine and so will he! --B..

I have a little boy (now 6). I do agree with your MIL that you need to keep an eye on your son and don't "miss the window" but that said, every child is different. You will know when your son is ready because he will begin to not like the wet diaper etc. I taught my son to sit down at first because I didn't want to clean the toilet more than usual :). However, the first time he realized that he could pee outside, he began on his own to pee standing up at the toilet. Just go with the flow. Most kids are potty trained by first grade :) Take it easy. Your son is young and he has plenty of time to learn. Good Luck!!

Hi A.,
My post is a little late and I didn't read all of the other responses from the other mothers. I am sure I will not be one of your favorite responses (LOL) but here goes. I agree with your MIL with some of the advice that she has given you. In my opinion and some factual happenings as well, there is a certain time frame where children will learn things easier than if you wait till they reach a certain age. I understand that this is an old fashion statement because so many mothers now are "learning from the book" or "waiting until the child is ready". If that is what you choose to do than that is perfectly alright. However in raising children and working with children, I have learned that at about 1 1/2, children will learn basically what you teach them. It's when they start to get older and want to try things their way, that is when the struggles begin. Since your son is at an age where he is really learning how to do things the way he likes to do them, you will have to wait for him to show you the signs of him being ready to potty. Simply tell your MIL that you may have missed that time frame where she feels like he should have learned to potty, so now you have to do it a different way. At the age he is now, you don't want to push him or become frustrated when he does not go to the potty. That will only make him reject the potty training all together. Standing or sitting, I don't feel is a major issue right now. At this point, continue to teach him gently and don't allow yourself to be frustrated with what MIL says. I do understand where she is coming from. And no I am not a MIL (LOL) The final decisions should always be what the parents decide and no one else. So sometimes, you might just have to tune the MIL out and remember that you are the mother!! Be blessed!!

Well, can't make any suggestion regarding MIL, but...

I have a potty trained 3 yr old son. I would start off sitting and let him follow daddy into the bathroom to watch. Trying to be like daddy, our son started standing up in front of our big potty on a stool. Some public restrooms have lower urinals and our son likes to tell me that daddy used the tall potty and he used the little one. At home if standing throw some cherrios in to help him aim. I wouldn't stress too much... it will happen before age 4. Good luck!

Hi, I was dreading potty training also. I bought my son a potty for his 2nd birthday. He loved to sit on it because it plays music when he pees in it. Some days he would want to sit on it other he wouldn't. I started using a reward potty chart and found some Thomas and friends stickers. I would take my son to the potty first thing in the morning to empty his bladder and constantly asked him 1/2 hour after drinking or eating if he needed to sit on the potty half the time he refused. We would wake up and watch the school kids getting on the bus and he would say can I go to school? I would tell him that he can't go to school until he is wearing big boy underwear because it is not the teacher's job to change his pullup. I just didn't force it. He turned 3 in August and by the end of that month, he would tell us when he needed to go to the bathroom and we haven't had a wet or dirty pullup since then. One time we had him in a pullup when we weren't going to be near a bathroom and he got very upset because I told him to go ahead and use the pullup to poo in. I've never tried to have him peeing standing up. It's just easier to have him sit on the toilet and do his business. The fact is that they will potty train when they are dirty of feeling dirty and wet.

Tell mother in law to back off. He'll do it when he's ready and with gentle nudges from you it should be very soon. Don't make a big deal about it and neither will he. Let him play, get some fun potty books and let him go in cloth undies if possible. He will feel the urge to go much more without the diaper. If you push him it could very easily become a batleground and there is no reason for it!

Hi A.,
OH!!! You and hubby need to tell MIL "thanks for your concern but we'll handle it the way we feel is appropriate for our family"!!!! I really like Norma's suggestion of backward training but have to say I'm a bit skeeved by the nasty toilets you will encounter when out. (She said she was, too!) There was also a msg from someone (forgot her name, sorry!) who gave great advice on exactly what HUBBY can say to his mom that should help the situation. Her msg was close to Norma's. Hang in there!!

As a SAHM, I was irritated when my husband decided to start potty training our son around his 3rd bday (he did it because he saw I had just bought big boy undies and assumed Jack was ready). I was irritated because *I* was the one who was going to have to commit to it and *I* wasn't ready!!! lol

Jack actually caught on quickly to the peeing aspect but not the pooping. That literally took a year!!! Jack pooped in the potty only 5 times (over about 2 months) and then was just done with it, asking for a diaper to poop in. When he was 2 months away from 4, we told him he had to at least sit on the potty and try to poop there, then we'd give him a diaper. Then one day (he was 4yo and 2 weeks), he said he had to do a poopie. My husband went to accompany him to the potty and he said, "No, Daddy. I can do it myself." Oh my goodness!!!! At 4 1/2, I'm still wiping him (one step at a time!!) but he will go on his own and just call out "Poopie's done!" when he's ready for the paperwork.

You never know how your child will cope with this. Just don't pressure him and let him control this situation. He's 2 and going through lots of changes now--he needs to control something in his life and poop and pee are totally in his control. lol Just don't stress yourself or your son and let MIL have sleepless nights worrying about this if it makes her happy!!!! lol

D.

my son started sitting down first to pee in early june when he decided to train (born march 05). he started standing up at urinals on our first road trip after training about one week into training. he made the change to standing up pretty early and on his own after watching both his dad and a good friend. one of my girlfriends has her son wipe the toilet after he goes pee (well that is what her husband does). so i taught my boy that trick as well. she also taught her son to initially sit down to pee but reverse position as girls. she realized that was great at home, but troublesome while out as he needed to remove his pants completely. my thought was different. i thought if he needed to pee at the same time as pooping it would be easier to teach him sitting the way most sit on the toilet.
best of luck!

Teach your son sitting down! In the beginning they do not have control enough over bladder and bowel so when they make the effort the may produce something that wasn't expected. Once he is tall enough and in control enough then teach him to stand. I have 2 boys 7&4 and they both sat first. Godd luck!

Hi A.

My son is now 5 and started potty training when he was 2.5 , not because we made him but because he was ready and he did a pee on the potty and brought it to me . At first he sat on the toilet to do both and then once he was trained & knew the signs of when he needed to go he then wanted to stand up to pee just like daddy. All kids get there in the end whether they start training at 2 or not but I am a great believer in waiting until they are ready and not trying to force them to do something that they really are not comfortable with , your doing the right thing by leaving the potty around for him to sit on so that he knows what it is and is comfortable with it...some kids don't even use the potty and go straight to using the toilet.

I think you should follow your instinct on this one and your MIL is just going to have to butt out , how and when you do things is up to you & your husband and she will have to respect that.

Good luck

K. H

I have 3 boys and I trained them using the Once Upon a Potty video. I say relax and go at your sons pace. I trained my boys sitting down and once they mastered that skill they all started standing to pee. If you have boys they will miss at times no matter how old they are when they start standing. I would just love you MIL and do your thing. You might find some recent doctor based article that supports your position and share it with her. Try to remember she is motivated by love.

I haven't read any books or anything, but I have an almost 2 1/2 year old who is completely potty trained (despite a few accidents here and there). I taught him to sit just because, one I didn't want him getting confused, and plus I am home with him more, so he see's how I go more often then his dad, and it was just easier that way. He loves his potty seat and putting it on the potty himself and all too. If you do start really potty training though, don't be discouraged if they have little lapses once in a while. I just figured he can always learn how to do it standing later, when he wants to be more like daddy and all the other boys he sees. Also, I think a lot of times at first they can't really voice or maybe can't even tell the difference between going "poop" or just "peepee". So having them sit would work better. My son uses the word "poopy potty" for every time he has to go, whether just peeing or not. Also, just FYI, walmart and toys-r-us, have travel potty seats that fold up and come with a little bag to carry them in for convenience. They are great to put in the diaper bag or whatever, and my son loved his. (It is hard for them to learn on a seat at home and then have to learn how to hold themselves up on a BIG seat, when you are out, while "pushing it down". :)

We sit my son on the potty backwards so he is facing the rear of the potty. That way he doesn't feel like he is going to fall in since he can hold him self on better and the pee goes down in the potty rather than the high potential it is going to go forward just over the rim of the potty. It was a natural progression for him to stand up to pee after that since he was already facing the right way. This only works on a full size potty though and no potty seat is needed.

I have 2 boys. I encouraged them to stand, but followed THEIR lead. I didn't want to make an issue of it, just wanted them to use the damn potty, however it worked best.

Thing is at this age independence is very important to them. If they insist on sitting to pee, so be it. Hell, my first would take all his clothes off, including socks, no matter where we were, even to only pee. I just rolled my eyes and said, "OK George Constanza" and let him be.

It takes a bit of patience, mostly with MILs :)

Hello! I am in the process of starting to potty train my 2nd boy. The oldest is 5, and this one is about 2.5! I say, take the cues from your son. If he doesn't want to sit to potty, then offer standing. Both my boys have preferred it so far, but I will tell you that the oldest took longer to poop on the potty, and I think he was scared to sit and let it out, but that is common. The youngest wouldn't even try to potty sitting (even though he did it a few months ago and then gave up!) Now, since he has short legs, I have to stand him on my feet to reach, but he at least goes! I just need to find a thick, old phone book, because the step stool is too high, and that WOULD be a mess! It also helps for them to watch daddy (and in my case big brother too), but older friends/cousins work! I even tried using "uncle ben goes peepee in the potty" on my oldest! My brother Ben is 19, so he is the coolest to the boys! Good luck, and you won't miss any "teaching" moment, because if you push them when they aren't ready, they will either resist it more and take longer, or do well for a while and then go back. You will have less of a struggle and stress if you let him do it as he's ready. When it came down to pooping on the potty, once the oldest was completely dry all the time, I switched him to underwear and let him poop in his pants. It took a few weeks and it was NASTY, but he finally went on Mother's Day (GREAT PRESENT!) and only had 2-3 more accidents after that! Good luck and "happy" training!

From my experience - We went sitting down first. That way when he goes to the bathroom in public (meaning going into the girls bathroom) he knows he needs to (we call it tuck), but hold it down so it doesn't go everywhere. We started pt the day he turns 2.5 (turns 3 in march), after one and a half days of messes, he has been doing great. Got totally rid of diapers and he got to pick out his big boy pants. For about 2-3 weeks now we started standing to pee, but he won't do it himself, we help him with that (making sure it goes in the potty) He has his own step and potty seat. You will be able to tell if he is ready or not. Make a big hype about it before you start. I thougt we would have trouble cause he has a lil brother in diapers, but he did great. Make a big deal when he does go.
Our son has a potty chart, bought car sticker (buy what your son is into) and he got 1 for pee and 2 for poop. After so many he got to get a toy from dollar tree. He barely askes for stickers anymore even though we still have it up. My only advice is don't push, if he isn't ready that will only make it harder. He may like it for a while(b/c it's new) then stop. Thats okay. My son played with the potty on and off since he was 15 mo. Sorry this is so long. Hope this helps. Email me if you have any questions. ____@____.com Luck to you and your little one.

My husband and I have two boys, 17 and 19 now. We trained them standing up. To make a game of it, we would take a square of toilet paper, drew a bulls eye on it, and have them try to hit the target. Dad may have to demonstate to get the idea across. Stay close because it takes forever for them to get the idea of being careful where they aim. They'll turn to tell you something and everything turns with them!

I would sit him down to start training. That way, he can begin to pee and poop at the same time, and whenever he is doing one, he won't have to feel like he's got to suddenly stop what he's doing to do the other. Once our son got the hang of peeing while sitting, then he started to want to "do it like daddy" and caught on to that really quickly. But be prepared to possibly have your son potty trained for peeing but not pooping. Ours was pee trained while he was 2, but unfortunately didn't get the pooping part down pat until he was almost 4. What finally seemed to work for the pooping, was to sit him on the toilet about 10-15 minutes after he ate each meal. Then set a timer for 10 minutes. He couldn't get up until the timer went off, and while he was sitting there, he could see a basket or bag of wrapped goodies (dollar store stuff). When the timer went off, he could pick out an item to unwrap, whether he goes or not. You do this for 20 days (I know...seems like forever). The point was not to reward him, but to condition his physical response to going poopy right after he eats. If this works like it is supposed to, his body will make him feel like he needs to go at roughly the same time each day, and then all you have to do is get him in the bathroom at the appointed time. Eventually he'll get it and begin to go on his own. This method was suggested to me by his doctor, and for us it worked. As for the MIL, gently tell her you've spoken with his pediatrician, and they are with you on this, and that you and your husband have made the decision, and you'd rather not discuss it any more. Each time she mentions any advise you are not in agreement with, say thanks for the advice, and change the subject or walk away if she won't stop. She may eventually get the idea, but if not, if you behave like an angel when she's behaving like the devil, then she'll be the frustrated one!

FIrst off, go with your gut, if you think he isn't ready then he isn't don't start until he is believe me it DOESN'T work. I have a 3 year old (just turned 3 on the 17th of OCT) who is fully trained with the exception of the occasional accident. But I tried to potty train him around 2 when he first showed signs of interest because I thought he was ready, one day he went potty in his potty chair 3 times while we were doing the daily sit on the potty/storytime and I was so exited. To my dismay that was the last time he went on the potty and it became a horrible experience for both of us when I tried to push him. We waited about a month and tried again, he didn't get it so I dropped it. Waited another month and he seemed to figure it out by himself.

What I am trying to say is DON'T even worry about it yet. Boys typically learn how to potty train later than girls. And pushing it especially the pooping can cause bowel problems such as with holding, constipation and I even know a mom who's sons colon was stretched so far from with holding that he has no feeling sensations and may not ever be able to feel the urge to go poop.

To directly answer your question, we started out sitting on the potty for the same reason others mentioned, if they do have to poop it is much more convenient, not to mention 2-3 year olds aren't the best aimers and that is one less thing to concentrate on when they are just learning to feel that got to go sensation.

Good Luck!

While I'm sure your MIL is just trying to help, she needs to lay off. Seriously. If your child isn't completely trained until he's 4, it's not your fault. Every child is different and will progress at a different pace. This past summer, we had my 4 year old (turned 4 in June) on two kinds of laxatives because he was so upset over going poopie on the potty, he held it in ... for months. He would still have poopie diapers, but not much. The Pediatrician finally got X rays and found that he was backed up all the way through his small intestine. When we got that taken care of, he made the decision himself to go poopie on the potty - after much discussion and many tries - and he hasn't had an accident since. I think the biggest problem was that I was getting impatient with this 2 year long struggle to potty train and was showing my frustration. I kept telling myself that I would be patient, but saying and doing is a lot different, right? ;)

Whatever you do, don't resort to negative reinforcement and don't push too hard. Even if it takes until he's 4, that's HIS pace and you need to help him, not make him anxious. It's not worth the pain in his belly.

As far as the sitting or standing, my guy got used to sitting and understood when he needed to go, and got really good at it before he even wanted to stand up. Now he usually stands, but if he wants to sit, that's ok. There is no rule that says boys HAVE to stand to pee. It will not make him weird or a democrat or want to eat carrots. (a joke! ;)

Good luck and try to explain this to your MIL. I'm not saying it WILL happen, just that it might. Try to be relaxed about it, but firm. A delicate balance. It will happen.

~J.

Hi A..

I have two boys that when they were potty training I did it sitting down and tucking it in. LOL. After they got the hang of it and could control it better we went to the standing up like daddy does. Really, you just have to go with what makes you and your child more comfortable. Also, my boys weren't potty trained until they were 3. I understand you MIL and the teachable moment but if he's not ready you might as well wait. I hope some of this helps. Good luck.
S.

Hi A., I also have a 2 year old boy and am basically going through the same thing. I have introduced him to the potty but do not want to push him so we are just kinda taking it slow which I think is perfectly, fine this is not a race and he is only 2 years old. I feel certain that we will have our boys potty trainined in an appropriate time. I did however purchase the stand up potty from Walmart (bought it online and had it delivered to the store) because all the reviews were faboulous and my husband had heard from a coworker that it worked really well for him. We have not yet tried it because we are going on vacation in December and figured we would start the whole thing at the beginning of the year. At first I was adament that my son would get potty trained right away and then I thought about why I was going through the stress, he will learn soon enough. Go at you and your own son's speed and do not worry about MIL :)

Also, I tried the running around the house thing naked and it drove me crazy and my little boy thought it was neat because he was peepeeing on everything (he is very playful and I think was entertained at being able to point and tinkle). I also plan to put him in training pants/underwear when we start not pullups as I think they are a waste of money and basically diapers. When I first attempted I also put him in the training pants/underwear and it did not bother him to be wet so again was a sign to me that maybe he was not quite ready.

Email me if you have the time to let me know of the success and your experience since I will be going through the same thing :)

A.,
I have 3 boys (14, 10 and almost 7). Each one needed to learn a different way. My oldest was "encouraged" to begin potty training by his preschool at just under 2 1/2 yr. He learned standing up. He had bedwetting issues for a long time. My second was 3yr and he had a hard time. We ended up with a 2 week plan of having him wear underwear and dealing with accidents. By the end of 2 weeks, he was done and never wet the bed. He was also learned standing up. My third was a few months from his 2nd b-day and decided on his own to wear underwear (his big brother's) and go on the big potty.

I realized with #3, that I had to really listen to my son. And not anyone else. More important than how-to, is making sure you and your son are both ready to make the committment.

If you decide to go the standing route, here's one little piece of advice. When in public bathrooms, let your your son stand on your feet with both of you facing the toilet. He will get a little lift and you can keep him from leaning his privates on the toilet. (Gross, I know.)

Good luck to you and your son. And good luck with Grandma. She sounds like she really just wants to help.

K.

My only real piece of advice is "DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR MIL." It was the biggest mistake I have made to date. My son was over 3 before he was potty trained despite almost a year of trying and I only tried because my mother in law kept saying stuff. Just let him go at his own pace. I understand not wanting him to be 4 years old but with patience and dedication he will get it long before then. In the meantime, enjoy every second. My 3rd is 2 now and he has peed and pooped on the potty a couple of times but keeps telling me he doesn't want to use it so I don't make him. I am going to wait until this summer before I start to try, meanwhile, the potty sits in the bathroom collecting dust!!!

I'll be interested in hearing what other mom's say, but my son just turned 2 last month (October) and although he shows a few of the readiness signs, he's defintitely not quite there yet for me to begin. I'm going to purchase a kids potty toilet and begin letting him sit on it a few times a day but that's about it for now. No pressure - just kind of an introduction to it. I've been reading him "potty training" books for the last few months and although he showed a lot of interest in the toilet when he was 1.5, he's kind of lost it now. But he does like to flush - that's always fun ;) I've been advised by both friends with little boys and 2 different pediatricians that the worst thing you can do (which isn't even detrimental) is introduce it too early if they really are not ready - it can result in a lot of frustration for both you and the child. I've also been told it's common for boys to be "ready" when they are closer to 2.5 - 3 years of age. But you always hear of women successfully training boys early as well - so I honestly think you just have to be informed, consider what is best for the both of you and then go for it. Tell your MIL to relax and try not to let her push you into starting something that might not quite be right for you . . . remember, YOU are the mother of your child, not her. Good luck - I'm sure it will all work out!

I would tell your mother-in-law to mind her own business & but out. Your son will let you know when he is ready. Until he is ready you are wasting your time & the more you push him to go potty the longer it will take because it will become a power struggle.

Hi ~
Hopefully just a few words but I just trained my guy (at 33 mos.) and it was not too stressful for me, so am happy to share what worked for us, not that it works for everyone.

First, it is a physiological thing...his body has to learn.
My son's school started at 2.5 years, and taught standing up. I didn't want to confuse him, plus daddy took a big role on the big weekend (see my other posts). Standing for boys does work, and son knows the difference between when he has to wee and poo. He also knows how to aim and it has not been too messy! (the school had him stand on a stool and grap the lifted seat... automatic aim). You can talk to him about the feelings just before he has to wee and poo (pressure, tingling, etc.). My guy made the connection when we had him naked in the back yard and told him "you're going!" & steered him toward a tree. Eventually he could tell us just BEFORE he had to go. Each body is ready at a different time. At that point we started the big push.
I think you can teach and prepare, but I don't think they're automatically ready at a certain age. As for your MIL, if you spend time at her house you might ask her about her reasoning- how it worked for her son (remember some memories are enhanced by time). Perhaps she'd like to start it at her house when there but watch out if son starts to rebel.

I like your approach so far, especially if you and your husband agree!. Keep it fun and light, and it'll be wonderful when it does happen. Good luck.