Son Not Liking His Dad

Updated on October 30, 2006
S.L. asks from Shawneetown, IL
12 answers

I was wondering if anyone else has or had this problem!.. Everytime I hold my son and his father talks to him he smiles and is fine, but the very second his daddy picks him up he is screaming his little head off!! I hope this is just a phase.. This breaks my heart everytime this happens and I know how I feel about it I just can not imagine how it makes his daddy feel...
Any help or input would be great!

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So What Happened?

Thank you ladies for your help, every little bit helps and it's nice to know that it's not just him! Have a great day!!:-)

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C.H.

answers from South Bend on

No, it will pass. It's only because he is with you all day long. The baby often favors his primary caregiver. Once Daddy spends some time with him as he grows through his first year, he'll grow out of it. My first daughter did that too.

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M.B.

answers from Omaha on

I've heard this is actually pretty common. Lots of babies seem to prefer "Mommy" above anyone else for the first few months, even over "Daddy". My son definitely showed a preference for me, although he didn't scream when my husband took him, but he would look at me if my husband was holding him, and if he was crying, he wouldn't really quiet down unless I held him. I think the best course of action is to have your husband spend more time with him, both with and without your presence, and just give it time. He will warm up to daddy, he just really loves his mommy right now, especially since you are with him all day. :-)

M.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I wouldn't be too worried about it honey. Right now you are the primary care-giver so he's more comfortable with you. You've always been the one to give him what he needs, and always been the one who makes him feel safe. This is just a phase, and as soon as your husband spends a bit more time with him (not that he doesn't, just when your little one starts to understand that Daddy's just as safe as you are), he'll warm up to Daddy and begin to feel more comfortable having him hold him. Things will get better sweetie. My son was the same way for a little while until he was about 4 or 5 months. All he wanted was Mommy.

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J.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

Yep... pretty normal. My children would alternate back and forth with who they wanted. They went through phases when it was all about dad but in the beginning when I nursed they only wanted me.

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M.L.

answers from Fort Wayne on

This is a very normal situation. He will grow out of it eventually, in his own time. I was reading somewhere that babies view their mother as the "protecter". The mother is typically the one to feed, nurture and protect. They view their father as the "player". While they feel safe in mommy's arms, they like to pal around and wrestle with their dads. Your son most likely feels safe with you and isn't ready to let someone else care for him when he doesn't have to. Don't let this discourage you from going out and having some alone time too. Your son will need to learn at some point that mommy won't always be available, but daddy will take care of him too. And you need the alone time!

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B.C.

answers from Lexington on

I have a 26 month old son. I recall the first six months or so of his life he was all about Mommy. I don't think it was so much that he didn't like his daddy, but more because he still probably spent a lot more time with me while he was that young. You were the one with him the majority of the time his first several weeks of life. However, if your son is anything like my son, you won't have to imagine how his daddy is feeling right now......you'll be feeling the exact same way! I think kids figure out which parent to go to for certain things. My son was all about Mommy for the first 6 months....but has been all about Daddy ever since! :-) I wouldn't worry too much about it. If your husband is involved with your son, he'll come around in no time!

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E.H.

answers from Des Moines on

It IS just a phase. I told my husband that the first year and a half or so, I am pretty much our sons world. Mainly because he spends most of the time with me (I stay at home), and I'm his main food supply. After that, he'll be all about daddy, and mommy will be an after thought. My son is 7 months old, and he's still doing it a little bit, but it's gotten better.
I hope this helps!
E.

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S.H.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I had the same problem. It is just a phase. He is almost over it now. See what others posted when I asked this same question. http://www.mamasource.com/request/4063190090245996545

S.

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K.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

Just make daddy be more active in everything the baby does. Set aside 1-3 things that only daddy does. My kids have never done that because we make sure that we totally share responsability. I have dinner time. I cook or feed the baby food or nurse. Whatever. Daddy has bath time. I of course give baths when daddy isnt here but if he is here bath time is his. With all 4 kids. I do homework time and cleaning with the kids. Daddy helps with bed time. Just pick something that is just daddy time. That way you get a break, the baby gets used to daddy, and daddy gets quality time. I know bath time is great and it is hard to give up any time in your childs life but it is for the best. Enjoy and I hope I helped a bit.

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C.W.

answers from Louisville on

Well, I had the opposite problem. My son was the BIGGEST Daddy's boy ever up until the age of 2. They are still great pals now, but it was really bad when he was 6-18 months. My husband could barely go to the bathroom without Lane having hysterics. If he had a choice between Mom or Dad, he would ALWAYS go to Dad and don't even think about taking him away to give Dad a break. Oh no, he would scream that pretty little head off. I felt like the worst Mom ever and was convinced that my own son hated me. Well, he finally grew out of it and now that we have a little girl, she is a Mommy's girl and prefers me over her Dad, so now my husband and I joke that we have His and Hers kids (like towels). So don't worry because they do grow out of it and it could be worse...you could be the one he doesn't like.

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A.G.

answers from Charleston on

HI, I'm A.. My son was the same way with his father but it was much later than 3 months. He was about 2 years old when it started. I am also a stay at home mom and he is our only child(I'm 5 months pregnant now though). Does your husband work long hours and not have a lot of time with him? When my husband switched jobs last year and took off almost 2 months in between is when our son finally started to "like" him. He was 4 years old. It was so bad he would not walk out the door with my husband unless I was with him. But it's all ok now. I think most of it comes from being the one with them most of the time...they feel safer with us. Good Luck!!!

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A.B.

answers from Lincoln on

My daughter has been the same way with my husband and I know that is really was killing my husband so I just started putting her in his arms and walking away. That way he has a chance to calm her down. I was a stay at home mom for over a year and that is why my daughter was that way. I did everything for my kids and daddy was always working. So I think that I would give daddy and baby some alone time and make sure that you little boy sees you leave and then when you get back he will realize that dad isn't so bad and that you will be back!! Remember when they establish a relationship it will be better!

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