Son Is Almost 7 Months and Won't Sleep Through the Night - I'm So Tired!!!!

That's great that you are able to put him down for naps now! Having a bedtime routine is also important so that he knows it's time to go to bed: feeding, bath, book, etc. You should try to transition away from using the pacifier at night, because he will wake up each time it falls out and you have to go in each time to replace it. Instead try using a transitional object like a small blankie or stuffed animal. And if he does wake up at night, wait a couple minutes before going to him to see if he will soothe himself back to sleep. Read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth, it has some good tips and different options depending on whether you are more of a "cry it out" or "soothe to sleep" person, but I will say that letting them cry does work. My daughter used to never nap or fall asleep unless we nursed her to sleep or held her in our arms. We did a modified CIO where we would let her cry for 5-15 min while listening on the monitor. If her cries were escalating we peeked in and would pick her up if she was standing up or screaming or obviously not going to sleep. It was hard to take and took several days but then she began going to sleep with minimal to no protest and it was definitely worth the anxiety because she sleeps well now. I still nurse her before bedtime but if she is awake, she still goes to sleep. Also, you shouldn't feel as if you have to force them to sleep all night, especially when they are breastfed as the breastmilk is digested more quickly. My 8 month old daughter still wakes up once or sometimes twice at night to feed, but I usually bring her to bed and nurse her lying down and then put her back in her crib. Finally, I was warned against reading "On Becoming Babywise" as the AAP has concerns about the book with parent-centered scheduling and rigid feeding schedules which could lead to underfeeding. I haven't read the book myself. Good luck, be patient and consistent and you will get results!

Hi A.,
Your story sounds just exactly like me with my older daughter. I had been told that every time she cried, I should breastfeed her. What a nightmare that became after a few months!

So I will offer you the advice that my friend with 4 darling children offered me... go buy the book "On Becoming Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo. It is a quick read and offers some very helpful suggestions on the subject of getting your baby to sleep through the night, as well as how to avoid becoming a human pacifier! I tried it with my second child, and WOW, what a difference it made for me and for my baby. The idea is scheduling their day so they always know what's coming next, and don't fight things like naptime and bedtime... but... being that your little guy is having a hard time at night, you may need slightly more drastic measures.

You may need to let him cry a little. Yes, it will be hard to go through, but the learning curve for your son will be less than 3 nights, I promise. What we did with daughter #1 around that age was to let her cry for 5 minutes (watch the clock). If she did not fall back asleep within that time, I'd go into her room and say, "Go back to sleep" (but did NOT pick her up - whatever you do, don't pick him up or you're back to square one). Maybe give him a pacifier if he will take one. Anyhow, if he continues to cry (and he will the first night), let him cry 10 minutes, then go into his room and repeat the process. Next time, go for 15 minutes. I know, sounds awful, and it will be. But he will eventually go to sleep. The next night, he will cry for a much shorter time. Third night, he probably won't cry. I know it's hard to listen to your baby crying but being able to soothe himself to sleep is a learned skill, and one that will prove extremely useful throughout his life, so don't feel guilty for teaching him! He knows you are there and he is not abandoned, but he needs to learn that he has the power to go back to sleep without help from you or your husband.

Good luck!

Just going to edit this last bit in response to the moms concerned about BabyWise. Frankly, I have never seen an underfed BabyWise baby. Many, many people I know have tried it, and we've all had larger than average kids. (My daughter was a whopping 27 pounds at 1 year old, with ROLLS of fat all over her cute little body - and this is a kid who slept through the night at just over a month old!) If you actually read the book, you will discover that it is a parent-led system, but that does not mean that you are a dictator! That simply means that you decide from your baby's cries if he is really hungry, or if the problem is something else (instead of instantly and constantly nursing, which is neither helpful nor productive as you have discovered). There is room for changing your routine if the baby is truly hungry off schedule... but trust me when I tell you, having a strong routine including eating times and sleeping times will be very helpful to your cause. Happy, healthy baby, happy mom!

A.,
You will get all kinds of responses on what is the right thing to do. Every parent/mom is different and has different ideas on how best to deal with it. I can only tell you that with my kids, I let them cry. Basically I would go in every few minutes and sooth them (not pick up, just rub their back, etc). I then would add a minute or two each time to when i went back in. For both kids it took about a week to get through it before they learned to self sooth. It was much harder the first time with my daughter for two reasons. One was I started later with her ( at about ten months, so more habit to break) The other reason was that she was my first and I felt bad letting her cry. But let me tell you, when she started sleeping through the night- it was fantastic! 12 hours straight. The other great part was she was really easy to put to bed once we got into an evening routine. Babysitters were amazed at how easily she would go down and sleep (people would say, wow you are so lucky!) I would say no, it was hard work. Anyways, that is what I did and did it with my son too but started younger. I hope you find something that works for you.

Read "On Becoming Babywise" and see if some of it helps...I did the same thing with my youngest for a while. When I decided to wean her at night,(I was so tired!)I brought her to bed and nursed her but didn't let her just "suckle". Night #2 I brought her to bed and DIDN'T nurse her (no they aren't hungry, it's just a habit") She was mad, but went back to sleep before long. Night #3 she didn't even wake up, and has slept through the night since. She was about 12 months by then. I nursed her during the day for 15 months. It was great to learn that when the baby suckles, the quality is low. Read the book. It didn't solve all my problems, but helped so much!
Good luck! You need your sleep!
K

First of all, I have to warn you off of Baby Wise as well. Ezzo is a dangerous guy who doesn't have any credentials for caring for children.
To wean my son off of nursing to sleep, we would do anything we could besides nurse to get him to sleep. I'd lean into his crib, rub his back, sing a lullaby, just not nurse. Eventually, as he would tolerate it, I would withdraw one thing after another. At one point, I was moving further and further across the floor each night while he fell asleep, then just outside the door. After about two months, he was going to sleep on his own. He never had to scream and cry alone and he learned to put himself to sleep.

If you feel that he is big enough to get through the night without being fed and your pediatrician also feels that way, you can let him cry it out at this age. You just make sure he is safe in his crib and you go through a few nights of hell until he all of a sudden sleeps through the night. You have to be willing to let him cry a long time, however. It can be hard to do.

I did this with all 3 of mine at about 7 months because I was where you are: I couldn't take it any more. The longest one cried for 2-1/2 hours, but I think by the third night they all slept through the night -- that was after still waking up 3 times a night.

My little girl is now almost 12. I had the worst time with her. She would never sleep even after nursing. A friend of mine who is a mid wife and herself has 11 children. Yes 11!!! She told me to try onion water after nursing before bed time. This consists of 1/2 red onion and 1c of water, boil for 2 min. Let cool slightly and poor into bottle or sippy cup. The baby will not like it much but he will get use to it. The enzimes from the onion will settle the stomach down after nursing and also has a natural chemical that will allow the baby to sleep. This may take a few nights to get use to. I worked for me. After a few times she started to sleep through the night. She did not become dependent on it and after 2 weeks of the onion water before bed I stoped giving it to her and she still slept through the night. The onion water will also help with any colic and gassyness that may occure with brest feeding, It all depends on what you eat. As for my son he was a sleeper......but at 7m old he developed an alergey to milk that I drank and then nursed him.....the onion water helped with that as well. There are lots of home remidies that are wonderful to use with out putting synthetic chemicals that aren't nessessery. You are better off going to an Homio web site or to the nearest heath food store and asking. There is so much info for us naturaly that people do not realize. Now I did not do everything natual but I did try for the most part.

My daughter is nine years old now, but I certainly remember at 6 months old we were feeling the same way. There's a great book out there that we followed and it made all the difference. There are many different books on the subject and one of them rang true to us, while the others didn't seem right. You should check out the different ones and see which one feels right for you. It's really a matter of helping your child learn to fall asleep on his own and no rely on you. There's a period of adjustment, and it feels terrible for some, but it seldom lasts more than a day or two and when you're on the other side it's so worth it! Here's a link to amazon that has some suggestions:

http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Throug...

First of all... you are a GREAT mom!! The fact that you even give a crap about your baby THAT much to neglect your own sleep, look for help and not to mention making him your world makes you the BEST mother... so shut up about that right now... or else I'll come down there and slap you like Cher slapped Nicholas Cage in Moonlighting and say, "Snap out of it!" :-)

You are frustrated and exhausted so your feelings of not being a good mother or wife are understandable but just because you feel that way, doesn't mean it's true. Does that make sense?

Okay... now for the baby. How many naps is he taking? I know this might sound contrary, but the more babies nap the better they sleep at night. I know it sounds nutty, but I've noticed it in both my children. At that age he should be getting 2 naps, one in the early morning (11ish, for couple hours) and one in the afternoon (4ish, for an hour). Just remember, they can only do about 3-4 hours of wake time at a time. So he might just be over tired. Babies at that age should be getting about 14 hours of sleep a day.

Secondly... make sure when he naps to keep the light in the house and his napping area similar to outdoor light. We create melatonin (a hormone in the brain) that helps us fall asleep. Melatonin is triggered by darkness. When we put babies to nap in darkness we are giving them the signal that it is night and they sleep too deeply. Then at night they aren't as sleepy because they have gotten that sleep during the day. So keep the light and noise normal. He'll still sleep, believe me. My kids have slept during family LOUD gatherings.

Thirdly... get a pacifier clip so he can put it in himself (you'll be amazed at how quickly he'll learn how to do that).

Hope that helps.

A.... you ROCK!!! ;-)