Should My 5 Year Old Daughter Repeat Kindergarten?

My twin stepsons (Sept. 15 birthday) repeated kindergarten -- it was a great decision for them. There were literally no negatives... they are in 7th grade now and doing great. This is the best time to hold her back -- any later and she may feel some stigma or have to make new friends. At this age she will probably not even notice.

I would let her repeat. It is only kindergarten. I'd rather a child repeat early than later, say 4th or 5th grade when other kids really take notice. Right now she and her classmates are young enough to not really care she was "held back". I was like your daughter...I started k when I was 4 and turned 5 a week later and it was AWFUL. My classmates operated on completely different levels than me. What they already knew, it took me double time to figure it out. My parents did push me and I feel I was (and still am!) pretty smart, but my school years was one big struggle. I really think that if I was held back and started a year later, I would have accomplished so much more academically. I got excellent grades in school but was always a mediocre honor student, meaning my friends were in all honors classes (and got As) and I was just in honors English and got Bs. Honors math was a joke for me even though I aced regular math. (I personally think it is cruel and unusual punishment to make someone who doesn't know how to drive take calculus!). Anyway, my point is, I think I would have enjoyed school more if my parents held me back. I loved school - the social and learning aspect, but it wasn't at my own pace.

Well, let us know what you decide!

This is typically why they advise to hold children with birthday's in those july,aug,sept months. Cause it is not easy to be held back...it is also not easy to push on either.

We held our daughter with a May birthday from going into kindergarten at five, she started at six...it was an awesome decision, she is thriving rather then struggling. Our son on the other hand we will not hold but again he does not have a birthday in those months so the decision is a little easier.

all in all a teacher knows better then you how your child handles class/in class and if they advise to hold it can be a good idea. You can see if another teacher can sit in and give you an idea also...but better to set them up for success then failure...You have the oportunity now to reset the path to success.

It is far, far easier to have a child repeat K than to repeat at any other grade. The kindergarteners will not really notice she does not move up with them -- they might at first but it will fade fast. You can play a strong role by ensuring that during her second year of K, you and your husband are still working with her, giving her enriching experiences outside school so she does not get bored, helping her with her listening skills and focus at home, etc. as you do now.

Teachers recommended that our friends' son repeat K because of maturity issues, but his parents wanted him to move on because he was very bright academically and they feared he would be bored. He should have repeated. It took him several more grades -- not just one -- to really catch up and be organized enough, himself, to move through school smoothly. It convinced me that by the time a teacher is recommending a repeat of K, the teacher really does mean it and wouldn't say this without very good reason.

Remember, early elementary years now are more like older elementary years when we were kids. By first grade, kids must be able to hit the ground running in terms of listening, focusing and doing their work, because they are not just doing basic ABCs and 123s in first grade any more. If teachers have to work with them on maturity skills as well as academics -- well, that doesn't really happen in the real world where most teachers are over-worked and most classrooms overcrowded. So I'd give her the advantage of more maturity when she starts first grade.

i would have her repeat. if you wait and have to do it later, it will only be harder. do it now while its easy.
if she is struggling now, and will struggle later, why make life hard for her? ya know? she is doing fine academically, repeating will only reinforce what she knows and having friends and being at their 'level' will only enhance the school experience.
good luck!

I am going through this exact thing with my 5YO son. Youngest, smallest in class, but our son is acing the academics and totally flunking the behavior.
If you feel she is "happy" to be in school, and ready for the academic challenges - why not get her evaluated over the summer and let her move up to first grade with her friends? If the evaluation turns up an issue (eyesight, hearing, learning difference, whatever), then you'll have the information the school needs to help her succeed! And if it turns up nothing, you have all the time in the world to have her repeat a grade or get her tutoring, what-have-you. How do you think it would affect HER to stay back?

We had a program in our school district, before budget cuts, called Junior 1st grade which was an interim between kindergarten and 1st grade.

Giving my son the extra year (his birthday is July 29th) was THE BEST thing we could have done for him. Not only in school but socially outside of school.

This has nothing to do with her intelligence it is maturity. Most states cut off is September 1st vs. December 1st for Michigan.

Let her be one of the older kids instead of the younger ones.

Think about this...Would you want a more mature 18 year old going to college or a young 17 year old going to college?

Also, she will make new friends and give her the extra year now and let friends and school work be easier instead of a struggle every year.

Now is the time to do it.

This obviously has nothing to do with your daughter's intelligence it is about her maturity. Give her the chance to be a confident strong girl. She will succeed!

There is nothing wrong with her. She is young. That's all.

There are many students in our school district who have had that extra year and are thriving.

I hope this helps and if you have any questions, I'm here to help.

Yes, have her do it in K and not a later grade. My daughter started early and is immature. We had her repeat 4th grade, which put her at the correct age for the grade. We also switched her school that same year so she just started over again for 4th at the new school so no one knew she did it twice. Good luck.

When I was a substitute teacher, I found that the kids that had been held back - and there were several - didn't think of it in a negative way. Apparently it had been done gently and they didn't think of it as bad. That being said, if she's able to do the work, she should probably be with her peers. You don't want her to be bored either. Maybe you could spend a day in the classroom and see if she really is that far off before you decide.

At our daughters school, there were a few children that repeated Kinder, but their parents actually moved them to another school for that year.

Most of them came back for 1st grade, but others did not come pack.

It really does sound like she needs another year. You need to always do what is best for your child.

I would let her move up with her friends. She will be very upset when they start forming friendships that do not nor will ever include her.

Socially she is part of this group. I would see how first grade goes and at the end of it see how she is doing then decide if repeating first grade is needed. Academically she is able to do the work, she is going to be very very bored and even more of an attention issue since she will already know the material.

There is a HUGE HUGE mental growth spurt between ages 5/6 and 8. She will catch up with her peers during that time.

While I never had recommendations to hold my son back, there were serious (legitimate) concerns about his maturity level/social development. In his case, holding him back would not have helped which is why I believe it was never suggested, but starting in kindergarten, every teacher expressed concern with the same time frame your daughter's teacher has (2nd-3rd grade). The concerns were well founded. IF holding my son back had been a helpful tool to give him a boost in continuing his education, I would have done it, and kindergarten would have been the time to take advantage of the offer. Kids notice it less at that age, and you can really talk it up. "Your teacher enjoys you so much, she wants to keep you another year!" Or, "How lucky are you? You get to stay with Mrs. so-and-so and help her with the new class. Won't you be a great helper since you already know how to do things in her class?" Things change a lot even from kindergarten to first grade in terms of the expectations placed on the kids, and you want your daughter to have the best possible chance of success. So don't look at it as a negative but as a great opportunity to strengthen your daughter's skill set before moving on.