Seeking Fussy Baby Support

Have you tried taking her to the chiropractor? I have heard a chiropractic adjustment can do great things, though I've never done it so I can't tell you from experience. My sil takes her son because he wasn't sleeping well. She said after just a couple of visits his sleeping improved.

Have you tried wearing her? In a sling, wrap or other carrier. When my youngest is fussy (he's 4 months) I put him either in my Moby wrap or mei tai and he usually calms down pretty quickly.

Hi C., You are not alone. I was lucky to have a happy baby, but my sister in law who delivered 3 weeks before me got the fussiest/loudest/crabbiest/touchiest baby I have ever met. I was around to help her alot and took care of her many times. It is very trying, but does get better. I know how tired and frustrating it can be. My sister in law just needed to take breaks now and then, which is when one of us (me or grandma) would take her for a a few days or even just a few hours. Do you have anyone who you can rely on to watch her for a few hours? The break do wonders for you.

A few things that worked well for my neice were were switching to soy formula (this was a big help with her reflux - she was also on Zantac) and having her lovey and pacifier with her at ALL times. She is now 15 months old and is a different person. The solid foods and walking/crawling independance helped her grow into a happier person I believe. She does not have a problem with cow's milk, but that normal formula did not work for her. Anyway, hang in there & I hope it gets better for you very soon.

Our son was a fussy baby as well. I remember the first 6 month being the worst. I could never figure out what he wanted or why he was crying. It made for alot of tension between my husband and myself. It also made me feel like I was quite clueless about being a mom. I had been around children of various ages all my life so this was quite a shock for me. Eventually I started to recognize some of my sons signs of needing sleep (rubbing eyes) and other signals. I never did learn what each cry meant like some moms are able to do. I read a book called "the baby whisperer" that talked about what certain cries mean and what other baby signs to look for. That definitely helped me. By the end of his first year things were much better (the second half was better than the first half). I even started to feel more like myself and was a little more confident. As he picked up language and became able to tell us what he wants/needs and how he feels things have become much smoother. Our son is now 3 years old and can be sensative about things especially when he is hungry or tired but is otherwise a pretty calm and easygoing child. The best thing I can tell you about dealing with a fussy baby is that you have most likely gotten past the worst part. :)

My baby was straight out miserable, cranky, and fussy. We think she was not tolerating my breastmilk or formula. The doctor switched her to Enfamil Nutramigen and I swear she changed overnight. She is now 4mos.old and I finally have a smiley happy baby. I felt ashamed or like I was a bad mom before I was embarassed everyone else's baby's were happy and enjoyed life I felt like my dd didn't even enjoy life it was a horrible feeling. I too wasn't enjoying her like I wanted. You could think about this formula. It's for colic, reflux, milk protein allergy babies. I swear by it.

HI, C.. My baby was like this, too for at least 4 months until I took him to cranio sacral massage. He was diagnosed with acid reflux and zantac and prilosec didn't work for him.
The ONLY thing that worked was cranio sacral massage (it's a very gentle massage focusing on the cranial bones and fluid that goes around the brain and down the sacrum). In 3 appts I had a new baby (I was going completely insane because of sleep deprivation). Afterward, my mom asked me, "how did you know he was such a lovely baby underneath all that screaming and fussing?" Your pediatrician may or may not know about this treatment- ours was curious and open to us trying it (since nothing else worked) -but it's a new thing that people specialize in (some chiropractors do it - go to someone who specializes in infants and kids). I'm a total convert now since my boy is 5 and happy/healthy. Good luck! J.

I just had a really random suggestion to share. In my parent baby class, the doula/early childhood educator/facilitator suggested 1-2 ounces of dark chocolate (70% or greater) each day. You're supposed to have it before noon and supposed it helps with fussiness in babies (breastfed obviously :) and it also helps maintain seratonin in mom which helps with mood for you. I've been doing it and we've been happy. If nothing else you get an excuse for chocolate (if you like it). Trader Joe's carries my favorite 72% dark chocolate and the price is VERY right. It is in a red package and is the "more than a pound" bar $3.99 each. The little bars I've ofund there and elsewhere(2oz) run at least $1.50, so this is a deal.

You have some great suggestions already. Just wanted to throw out there that I cut dairy, soy, eggs, and excess sugar from my diet for a while and it made an enormous (like night and day!) in my baby's comfort. Before I cut those things out of my diet, she would go from easy-going and pleasant to miserable and fussy several times a day (probably because I was breastfeeding several times/day). It may not be what is happening with your baby, but I wanted to let you know in case this makes sense in your situation. I was able to ease all of those things back into my diet after a couple of months. Now she's 11 months old, and still happily breastfeeding! Good luck!

Both mine were very fussy for the first six months, or at least it seemed that way, because they wouldn't sleep at the same time for more than half an hour. Some of the things we would do were walks outside, swinging them in the infant carseat, rocking, putting them in the swing (but only the old wind up kind worked) putting their infant car seat on the washer on spin cycle, and then against the humidifier, packing them in the carrier. Just switch up every couple of minutes until you find what they want at the time.

Try "Gripe Water" and/or "Hyland's Colic Tablets". Both are great remedies for colicky babies. You can find either at co-ops, natural food stores, and Whole Foods. You can even buy them online. Let me know if you need more help.

Since he was 9 months old, I've brought my son to Langford Chiropractic in St. Paul. That's a ways from you, but perhaps if you call them, they can recommend a colleague in the west metro.

If your baby is colicky and cranky and nothing helped you yet, then try Babies magic tea which was the only remedy worked for my fussy baby with tummy bug.

Hi C.! The book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" was my lifeline. It teaches you how to soothe a super fussy baby.
One thing that I am experimenting with is Rescue Remedy for kids. It's a flower essence so it's perfectly safe. It is a stress reliever.
My daughter was so fussy that it didn't matter if I held her 24/7 -which I did for a long time.....she cried constantly anyway. What really helped was to sit on a big excercise ball with her. My family and friends would come and take turns holding her while sitting on the ball!
My daughter also woke between 8-12 times per night for over a year. She had reflux and chiropractor visits helped as did gripe water along with the Zantac.
Best of luck to you! You are not alone!

C.,

I don't have personal advice, but my nephew was a very fussy boy. To the point that my sister-in-law once told me that she felt like he "hated his life". She too felt like she was missing out on the baby fun. Now, he is still a kind of tempermental boy (at nearly 3), but he had mostly grown out of the "colic" by the time he was 10 months. She too breastfed, and tried EVERYTHING. He really just had to out grow it.

My only advice (that others have suggested) is to make sure you get adequate breaks. Get support when ever you can so that you can take a walk by yourself, or go to the store, or whatever. It is really exhausting having a fussy baby, and you need to take care of yourself so that you have the energy for it.

One thing to note on her size, by second boy was HUGE at birth (9 lbs 7 oz), but by 3 months was in the 10th - 15% for his weight, and is still about there today at 2. She may just be a smaller baby, and it may not have anything to do with her placenta size or what she's eating. :) My pediatrician did a bunch of weight checks (I was nursing solely too) and made me all worried about his weight, but in hind sight, he was just leveling down to his normal size after being born at 42 weeks a little on the fat side :)

Anyway, good luck to you, and know that "this too shall pass".

Jessica
SAHM to Charlie (nearly 4), Joey (2) and Rebecca 3 months

My first son was also very fussy. He is now 4 and is a very happy fun loving "energetic" boy. We are able to laugh at how we had to constantly walk and bounce him to keep him from crying. He also spit up a lot. Getting him on a good nighttime routine with a very consistent bedtime helped us as much as him. We also tried to spend as much time outside as possible. His nature started slowly improving as he hit each milestone - crawling, walking, talking etc. I think the biggest improvement was just before his first birthday. I agree it can be very stressful, but hang in there. A positive was that the constant motion helped with losing the baby weight!

if you think that her turning one will be the end of fussiness, you are going to be disappointed.

one thing i remember saying when my son was younger was "dont expect more of your child than he or she can do".

babies are not supposed to sleep well, they are not supposed to like being left alone in a crib, they are doing these types of things for survival and attachment. around a year old they start to figure out that they can cry just cuz they are tired or upset and it doesnt have to be as urgent as a cry that they are hurt or scared....

what im getting to is that your child is NORMAL for her own needs.
i encourage you to check this out:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050100.asp

the first one is a list of links on fussy babies, the second is on high needs babies. dont be surprised if you are reading it and you all of a sudden burst into tears. i did the same thing when i read the things dr william sears has to say about high needs babies. MY SON was a high need baby. this isnt a disability like adhd or anything like that, its simply that your child has strong feelings about what she needs and shes very vocal and adamant about getting those needs fulfilled. this can be exhausting, and frustrating at times. IVE BEEN THERE.

the most important think to remember is that high needs babies with unfulfilled needs turn into high need toddlers, and they never really grow out of that strong feeling of needing something, someone, etc.
the more you can respond to your baby no matter how often she cries, the more you can hold her and be attentive to her, get a sling (i recommend the moby wrap which you can find online) and carry her with you as you go about your day.... these kinds of things will give her comfort, and will help you not only be able to have a baby who isnt fussing all the time, but it will give her a sense of "ok, moms got me, and look at all the fun things i get to watch her do!"
all of a sudden her needs are being fulfilled simply by your instinct.

you will KNOW the best thing to do for your daughter. im SO GLAD that you are nursing her, this is going to help you A LOT with staying connected to her emotionally, and physically... and it helps her really feel good in a way that formula cant. i encourage you to keep it up! find a local la leche league in your area (mine is an hour away - so remember to search for groups in neighboring towns if there isnt one in your town...) and they will help give you the support you might need to keep nursing no matter what! :D

just have patience. hitting the one year mark is NOT a magic day, she will most likely NOT stop being fussy just cuz shes a year old. however, she will be able to start communicating with you in other ways, especially if you start NOW giving her something to work with. she might not start actually using it for 3 months or so, but you can start using sign language with her. my son started using the sign for milk himself at around 9 months, and i wasnt very consistent in showing it to him until around 8 months. you can probably find things online for sign language, but whatever you choose, make sure that its american sign language, not just baby sign language - that way, if you learn a lot of signs and use them often, it can often turn into a second language for your child, and it qualifies in college as a second language!! LOL. we have NOT kept up with it, but my son knows milk, more and eat !! :D

milk is basically squeezing your hand like you were milking a cow or something LOL. this will help her start to be able to communicate a need easier and earlier than talking. and YES its possible and NO it doesnt delay actual speech, especially if you are saying what the sign is when you show it to her. so, when you are nursing, just use the sign in her eyesight and tell her milk, yes, milk, etc.

its fantastic. it will help you immensely in the future.

i cant think of anything else. just have patience and give it time, pretty soon she will have moved on to something else, and you will almost forget this time. good luck! if you have any questions just write me!

C.-
I have a wonderful Chiropractor for you and your baby to see! I go to Davis Chiropractic and have gone there for years. Both of my sons have been adjusted by the docs at Davis Chiro and I can offer you a complimentary consultation if you would like to bring your baby in to see if they can help you. Please let me know if you would like more information. They have 2 locations, one in St. Louis Park and the other in Shorewood (near Excelsior). Good luck with this. I remember those foggy days. it will pass!

Just wanted to offer some support and suggestions. My first was very fussy as well, I had postpartum depression, didn't enjoy him either for awhile....I know how it feels sucky to feel that. but it will get better!! He was great before the first year was over! You have had some great suggestions- the breastfeeding one was right on about getting the hind milk. Also I did do the chiropractor for my little guy-instant success, my MIL couldn't believe how he had changed, she wasn't happy when we told here what we did! But she didn't live with him so we tried it! (I took my daughter after ahe was born as well.)

Another suggestion I will put out there is to try a book called Baby Wise, some people give it a bad rap becasue they say it's rigid, but they obviously haven't read or didn't follow it well. It basically helps a parent put their baby on a routine(not ridgid schedule) with feeding playing and sleeping so as to help the baby learn to regulate themselves and so that you will know what it is she needs instead of guessing. I followed it with my daughter and all my daycare babies and it is wonderful. It is worth a read even if you don't follow it. but I do not believe in "demand feeding", honestly, a baby cannot tell you when it needs to eat without a routine, popping a breast or bottle into the mouth at every bit of fussiness accomplishes nothing but soothing with food and not meeting the real need, JMO!

Hang in there though and it will get better. Other moms can be great support, and try to get some breaks from her to keep yourself energized. A healthy mom is best for her baby!

Hi C., I am a Mom of 9 grown children and a grandmother of 41 soon to be 44. My husband is a general surgeon in Columbus Wi. Babies with the reflux syndrome are pretty common. Our yongest son had pyloric stynosis and had to have surgery to cut the muscle that controls the amount of food entering the small intestine from the stomach. I understand that this surgery is not performed as regularly as it once was. Now the medical profession allows the baby to outgrow the problem naturally without taking such drastic measures as surgery. I expect it depends on how severe the symptoms are. Our son would have died within a short period of time, because the muscle had closed up the opening entirely and he was literaly starving to death. His stomach was full and no food could enter the small intestine, therefore causing vomiting that was so powerful it would shoot out of the babies mouth several feet and in large volumes. I have had a few grandchildren with the same symptons ,who with some patience outgrew the problem. One of the things you can do, which is very successful ,is give the baby a very small amount of liquid at a time. A few teaspoons of breast milk or formula frequently, allowing the few teaspoons to digest and then giving the baby another few teaspoons. By allowing the baby to consume large amounts of food at a time is causing the baby to have pain and not be able to digest the large quantity. With breast feeding, I would if the baby takes a bottle o.k. ,pump your milk and then bottle feed the baby with just a little bit at a time. Breasts become engorged and therefore babies receive a large amount of milk at the start of breast feeding. Another suggestion, my husband is very strict about, and that most young mothers are not aware of, is that babies need water. My daughters and daughters-in-law have also learned that giving their baby warm water with a little sweetener, soothes the babies stomachs and settles fussy babies down. We use regular sugar, but if you are against giving your baby white sugar, you can use a little cairo syrup or maple syrup. If you live in the city, I would boil the water first, and then cool it down. I hope these suggestions help. I would certainly try the warm water first, I bet it works for you right away. Give the baby only a couple of ounces at a time, and then burp the baby and repeat. Our children received water in a bottle a couple of times a day, even while the babies received only breast milk for nutrition. I hope this works for you, good luck M.

I think some babies are just fussy. My neice was a horribly fussy baby. If you even looked at her wrong she'd start crying (no joke!). My sister went to the dr with her again and again, and there wasn't anything wrong with her-- just fussy. The good news is that 1.) her fussiness started to calm down once she got past 6 mths. and 2.) she is now a delightful, happy, sweet-natured 8 yr old =)

Dear C.-my son, who will turn 1 next month, was fussy. He was diagnosed with reflux and was on meds for that. But in addition to I also have him taking a probiotic. It is like the "good for you" cultures in yogurt. You get it in the pharmacy-it has to stay in the frig-and I put 1/2 a capsule in his food in the am and 1/2 in the pm. If you are breast feeding add it to a bit of food. I just put it in his bottles. But that will change once I wean him. I was not super successful at breast feeding so he was on soy formula from a young age.
My other bit of advice-a sleep schedule. And I know many people are against the "cry it out" but I have to say that kids really find a lot of comfort in routine and at 6 months is when I started with my little guy.(I never let him cry for more than 10 minuets-If he did I would go in and sooth him and lay him back down, I think the first week it took a few times of going and doing this before he got the picture. Even today he still crys a bit before he starts to babble and then falls to sleep) It is hard at first to hear them cry(just about the hardest thing for me at that time)-but you have had to hear your baby cry a lot- and this will begin to help her self sooth. A book I will recommend is " On Becoming Baby Wise". Take the information and use it as you see fit. I hope these things help you. With Joey-he is my first and I defiantly know how hard it was when he was so little. And please do not feel guilty for wanting your life to be a bit easier. It will be. I wanted the same thing. And now that Joey is almost a year-things for all of us, Mom, Dad and Joey are settling into place.

My son was exactly like that, and I remember the first 6 months were just awful! He was our first, and I felt like a failure as a mom, guilty like you that I wasn't enjoying my baby. He too, had acid reflux, and was on medication from 2 months until he was one. I know that was part of the problem, but I also think he just didn't like being a baby very much! Once he was able to move around on his own we started to see a difference, and once he turned 1 and was walking, he was a different boy. Just hang in there, the tide will turn! Easier said than done, I know! My son will be 3 in two weeks, and I can't believe how the time has flown!

I am so sorry to hear that you are having fussy baby issues. The reflux is a tough one! I have had some moms that I have worked with that have had many feeding issues with children that experience reflux. Are you currently working with anyone outside of the home on this issue? I might recommend checking into Early Access to have them come and do an evaluation. My daughter, who is now 9, was an incredible fussy baby. At 5 months I found out that she was unable to tolerate my breast milk and I had to put her on Nutramigen Formula which made a huge difference. I wish you luck in your journey!

I had a really fussy girl also. I took milk out of my diet to the best of my ability when she was 3 months old. I wasn't getting much sleep and felt so worn out. She refused a bottle so there wasn't much break from her neediness. I think we started baby foods or cereal about six months and that helped some. Molly didn't sleep well until 13 months and was so very clingy and not in a good way until 12 months. At 3 1/2 she is super independent and stong (strong willed also). She does have some milk sensitivity but can eat yogurt and cheese. She is a small thing (3-5%) but strong and active. I've been there and you can make it.

I'd try and journal and see if you are seeing a pattern of things that aren't working or something that might be making a difference.

Talk to a doctor about what you are observing and see if they have any suggestions!

When you say you took dairy out, did you just take out obvious dairy (milk, cheese, yogurt, icecream, etc) or did you really take out all dairy (reading the labels of everything you eat and don't eat it if it says "whey", any form of milk, etc)? If you just took out the obvious dairy, sadly, you didn't take out dairy (unless you only eat fruits and veggies and obvious dairy). Everything from bread to cereal to McDonald's french fries can contain the protein from milk that could be causing your little one pain. I know because both my kids were/are milk protein sensitive. I won't go into it anymore here but if you want some advice on this, feel free to email me. My first one was 6 months old before I believed what a friend was telling me about milk protein. That was 3 years ago. Now there is a ton more research and even all the stuff that comes from the formula companies talks briefly about it. But it can cause gassiness, cramping, crying. Which can lead to not eating, or wanting to nurse all the time (because that is soothing), not sleeping, etc. My doctor thought it was acid reflux but I knew the meds weren't helping, and she didn't know much, if anything, about milk protein sensitivity. As soon as I went truly dairy free, it got better. After a couple weeks, she was a new kid. And I can help with easy food suggestions if that sounds impossible! I even still eat an icecream that is better than Hagendaaz (or however you spell it!). I hope I can help!

C.,
My daughter was horrible fussy. She had gas all the time, she only slept during the day, she was always constipated. It was aweful! Later in life we found out she had a dairy allergy, but we also started taking her to the chiropractor. I know some believe this is not really a legit thing. I swear by it. I drive all the way out to Waconia every week to see our Chiro. I encourage you to look into this, they are also a great source of information about nutrition, and lifestyles. Good luck!
S.

Both my kids were fussy like that because of there reflux. So, I have become a pro at handling it. First of all ask your doctor for a different medication for the reflux. Zantac is very weak and wears off after a couple of hours. Our son and daughter were both on prilosec. Trust me it makes a huge difference. Then we prop up on side of the crib mattress so that his head is slightly elevated while he sleeps. Also encourage her to sleep on her tummy that also helps a lot. Then I would get the book Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. That will help you deal with the sleeping issues. It has a section in there on how to deal with reflux babies and sleep. With all of that done I have my 11 month old boy taking two naps a day, and sleeping from 7-7 at night. If I don't do all of those things his reflux bothers him. Oh and he is also breastfed, but we give him a bottle of formula before bed because it is thicker than breast milk and helps keep that acid down while he sleeps. But first off I would talk to you doctor about getting a different medication, that in itself will make a huge difference. I know about the meds because my husband is in pharmacy. Hope this helps you.

Please don't stop breastfeeding. That is my first advice because I know that pediatricians, other moms, your mom or mother in law, friends, etc, the first thing they will say is 'oh she's allergic to your milk, switch to formula/soy/whatever'. Thats not true, so keep nursing.

AS for the reflux..... I think its very overdiagnosed. Some babies are fussy, some babies are spitters... doesn't mean they all have reflux. The meds for reflux can be more detrimental to baby than reflux itself, and most of the time its just a fussy/spitty baby.

Now onto the nursing. HOW are you nursing her? Is she only nursing one breast at a time... or are you switching breasts mid feed?

She needs to nurse on one breast for each nursing session. DON'T SWITCH BREASTS! Thats old advice and by switching breasts mid feed, you are giving her too much foremilk and it will make her gassy, irritable, not able to sleep, and possibly in pain similar to reflux. THe foremilk is watery, and it will quench her thirst but not do much for keeping her full. She needs to nurse one breast per feeding so she can get the fatty hindmilk that will fill her up, nourish her body, and the fat her brain and body needs. So one breast per feeding, then the other next feeding, etc.

Do you have a sling? She may jsut need mom. My youngest was like that. He's 3 now and the most independent kid!

Try the chiropractor too... a minor adjustment or two may make all the difference in the world.