Seeking Answer from Moms

Updated on September 03, 2010
S.S. asks from Coppell, TX
23 answers

HI ...I have a 5.6 yr old boy he is obsessed with planets ,black hole space etc. When we talk to him he about anything he will just talk about planets or something about space.When ever he is playing with friends he is only talking about same thing .His obsession started whwn he was 4.....then last february he threw his toy planet in trash .......saying i don 't want them anymore...but last 3-4 months again his obsession started..He will carry his toy planet whereever he goes.I am totally confused what to do .....earlier i brought him toy planets /books on that topic/universe dvd's....i encouraged him to learn moreabout it...but now i am not letting him watch any of those videos...Am I doing the right thing?....Am I supressing his talent? I keep telling don't talk about planets talk something else.....

What can I do next?

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

It might be a little annoying and scary to hear him obsess over something, but you need to let him be himself. And, he's only 5.

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Maybe he can still be interested in planets but add a few other interests as well. It's nice that he is the master at something but it would be good for him to know stuff about other things as well just because it will make him more well rounded and able to make and keep friends that way. Just my own thoughts on the subject.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi S.-

I wouldn't tell him not to talk about them so much but would help him to understand how to read the social queues of his audience. If they are trying to talk about something else or are showing signs that they are bored with the conversation then he needs to learn that a conversation is give and take and he has to let them talk too.

Does your son have any other difficulties socializing with other children? Does he seem to have a need for consistency and routine and have trouble with changes? This could just be that your son loves space and will be an astronomer some day but an obsession with one topic like this is also one of the signs of Aspergers. My 8 year old son was diagnosed at age 4. He has gone through a dinosaur phase, a marine life phase, and is currently in a baseball phase. When he was younger it was hard to get him to talk or do anything other than the one thing that had is interest. You might want to read about Aspergers to see if any of the other symptoms are there. If so there are social skills groups that can help a lot with kids who have trouble reading the social queues of others.

Good luck,
K.

5 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

Don't squealch his curiosity about the universe, he might be the next great explorer or scientist in the field. I'm sure most of our historic inventors were obsessed. Let it run it's course. Eventually peer pressure or some other interest will sway him in another direction. My nephew was obsessed with dinosaurs for several years.... I'm sure a lot of it had to do with the Jurasaic Park movies. He didnt go anywhere without his BAG of dinosaurs and he knew all of their names, regions, and what they ate to survive, etc.

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

Keep encouraging him. Let him watch the videos, get him more books, take him on a field trip to a planetarium, let him talk about it. He'll either out grow it or become an astronomer.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from New York on

That age they can obsess. My son only loves sea creatures. He wants to be a marine biologist and will bring up fish or anything about the sea even when it is not the topic of conversation. Last year every story they had to tell or write in school was about sea creatures. I never thought about it as he finds different things to obsess about then moves away from it for a while then goes back. I think your son has educated himself so much about plantes that he feels he can talk about it with confidence and I am sure some people are impressd with his knowledge. They like to feel success as far as knowing things that other kids might not. I personally wouldn't worry about it. Last week as I was discussing with my son for the umpteenth time about the boat he will use to study tropical fish and all his friends and family that will have jobs on the boat he said "maybe I won't be a marine biologist, because I want an owl as a pet and you can only have them if you study them or work in a zoo", where that came from I don't know but he is now obsessed with Owls and we have to see the Owl movie coming out in Sept, which he reminds me of daily. It's what kids do. I would incourage your son and unless I am not understanding your question he is able to speak on other things but prefers planets, if it is nothing but planets and he can't form a thought I would speak to his school and see what they think. My gut....he's fine.

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

I would encourage your son and let him watch the movies. Like Christy J, my daughter informed the audience at her Kindergarten graduation that she was going to be a paleontologist. I could hear people whispering that they didn't even know what that was. I was so proud. Everything in our house was about digging and/or dinosaurs. She still has real fossils that my father gave her. She did eventually change her mind, and for a few years it was acting, so acting lessons it was, and now at 14 she seems set on journalism, so it's all about reading and English classes, but she won't give up all the dinosaur stuff, and the fossils are displayed on a bookshelf. Kids need to know that they are supported in there decisions to really succeed. Just my opinion.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

my son was the same way with dinosaurs. I continued to feed his obsession/interests and eventually he did learn that there are other things to talk about. I found that by encouraging him at home, he didn't need to talk as much with friends, or if there was an opportunity we invited friends to do things that had a dinosaur theme so it allowed him to express his interests with his friends, they reciprocated and then the next time they were together they didn't talk about it as much.
My two cents - continue to encourage him, watch videos, let him take the lead and let him talk about what he wants with his friends. They like him for who he is and so do you:)
FYI: My son says he wants to be Paleontologist and wowed everybody at the kindgergarten graduation when he said so. I was so proud I had encouraged his interests and unique personality. I know you will, too!

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E.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My two cents: maybe see if you can help him 'broaden' his field of interest by showing him things that are related to astronomy - biographies of astronauts and astronomers, books about the history of the space exploration program, etc. And encourage him to practice 'turn taking' when he talks with others (e.g. "now that you've had a turn talking about planets, it's mommy's turn to pick a topic. did you know that many marine biologists think that deep-ocean exploration is just as mysterious as outer space?").
And like Karen said - if he seems to have other difficulties with socializing like picking up non-verbal 'cues' (body language, tone of voice, etc.) you might want to read up on Asperger's. One of my 8YO twins is an aspie and benefitted from a social skills group.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

He could be walking around with a super hero or other imaginative toy. I also have a "space nut" as I call him but he is 9. He wrote a paper the first week of fourth grade and I learned because he never told me before because I was never really (honestly) interested before but he wrote it and told his teacher and entire class he wants to be an Astronaut and walk on the moon like Neil Armstrong. He proceeded to write about how he wants to go to Space School and study asteroids, comets, stars, galaxies and all the space science he could. He wants to live in Houston, TX and work at NASA....OK so why I am telling you? Because me, being uninterested could have smashed his dream! I never new he knew all that, absorbed all that material and was so passionate about it. I will NEVER make that mistake again with any of my 3 boys. So, with your son, embrace his passion, take him to the museum, library, hang planets from the ceiling or whatever it takes to help him and mold him into what HE wants to become. Enjoy it because soon it might be chicks in bathing suits he wants to hang on his walls!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I wouldn't discourage it. It's how they learn. All kids are into different things. It's not a bad thing for him to take his planet along with him, right? It's kind of like his lovey.
We've gone through many obsessive stages (Cars, Nascar, Space, Money & Coins, etc.). Some phases have lasted longer than others.
I don't see how anything positive could come from withholding his favorite topics.
It's important that he realizes that different kids are into different things. Wait until he meets another space freak! That will be something to see!

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

When a child wants to learn about something never discourage it, it may seem boring having to repeat or hear repeated all the info BUT that is the way most kids learn by having things repeated.

My daughter LOVES trains and everything to do with them, we talk about them almost daily. We do also point out other things similar to that topic, like a train is a type of transportation what are some other types of transportation. Maybe find topics that have a little to do with the plants but might encourage him to be interested about other things (like NASA, spaceships to visit the moon, what makes up the planets, then talk about those different elements).

It may get annoying but all they want to do is learn and share at this point and I know it is hard (trust me I shut my mouth daily to stop me from telling daughter 'stop telling me that, or I know'). Either he will "out grow" it when he picks up another topic from school in a year or so OR he will be so into that he majors in something similar in college.

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B.J.

answers from Dallas on

Why would you stifle his interests? Just because you're tired of hearing about planets, it's clearly a passion of his. Perhaps he'll become an astronomer? I believe each of us has our passions, and that includes children. Be grateful your son is excited about planets and not something stupid!

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H.F.

answers from Dallas on

We have a child who is the same way. His fascination is technology. He is 11; we are homeschooling, so that has been incorporated into his learning. However, we are also teaching him that there are appropriate times to talk about it, and there are times to talk about other things. Our sons may well be the next great astronomer or inventor. I say encourage, but teach balance. We work hard to decide if we are just tired of hearing about it, or it is truly an inappropriate time for it before we say stop. He needs to learn not to monopolize the playtime, and allow others to lead too.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

PLEASE let this precious child pursue his own interests. You may well be suppressing his talent. By not letting him watch his videos and continually telling him to talk about something else you are sending him a strong message that what he thinks about and is interested in is not valid and is flawed in some way. That sort of negative message is so easily internalized by little ones, read "he is flawed" for being so interested in the planets. It is likely a temporary phase but it could be the beginning of a lifelong academic pursuit. Whichever one it is doesn't matter, it is HIS interest. Encourage him in whatever he finds interesting and you will add to his knowledge and his self-esteem. By the way, if his friends don't want to hear him talk about the planets they will let him know. Relax and let your child be who he is.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Wow, you sound like you have a really smart son!! When my boy was about 4 he could not GET enough of dinosaurs. Constantly talking about them, books on them, he had them memorized (we had an ABC book of dinos, he knew all 26 of them by sight!). It was great...although a little annoying to spend EVERY day talking about dinos. He did eventually grow out of it, and couldn't remember them now to save his life.
I don't think this is something that you would want to stifle. It's great that he is so interested in astronomy, who knows, maybe he will study space and stars when he get older.
I say, check out all the books you can about it, watch videos, be a support for him...and then when he becomes a famous astronomer he can say, "My mother has ALWAYS supported my dream."
L.

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

He's not interested in the same things you are. He is his own person and has his own likes and dislikes. Like all children, they zero in on a topic. My son knew every dinosaur by heart. He knew everything about them. He knew more than any adult and he would talk non-stop about them. We never limited that thirst for knowledge. That was then, now he's a teenager and can play the guitar, has a 99.5 average across all subjects, and likes home improvement stuff. The planet/space stage will pass if you allow him to let it pass. Let him learn and have fun.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

It is so normal for children to get fixated on a topic of interest to them. They want to talk about it, draw it, watch it, read it, etc. My son who is 6.5 has been fascinated by dinosaurs for 2 years now. He knew more than his K teacher did about dinosaurs and knows how to pronounce names most people couldn't began to say. Now he loves dinosaurs and aliens because of a book he found at the library. We don't discourage his interest, but at the dinner table, he may not go on and on about it. He gets 5 minutes or so to tell us about his interest and then we move on to another topic. This is to teach him that others have their own interests and everyone gets time to discuss what they want to share. I say let him get his fill of space by encouraging him to read about it and watch the dvd.s, but explain that he can't constantly talk about it because others don't share his fascination.

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N.D.

answers from Dallas on

you may have a child prodigy on your hands...how awesome is that? What a great gift he has at such a young age, who knows he may be the next Einstein =)

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

The repetition may wear on you a bit, but why on earth would you want to discourage your child's interest? My oldest daughter went through several such obsessions from about age 4. Dinosaurs went on for at least 1 1/2 years, followed by whales for about as long (if not longer) and then it was the Titanic when she was about 8. The "obsession" does pass but not necessarily the interest -- my daughter is now 15 and is still very much interested in dinosaurs/fossils and her favorite animal for years has been the Orca (killer whale) and for the past two years she spent a week at Sea World's career camp. And for the past couple of years her "obsession" is animation which she fully intends to pursue as a career.

So please don't discourage him . . . encourage him to expand his mind!

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S.H.

answers from San Antonio on

Why not talk about planets? I understand it's boring to you after a while, but he's really interested. Is it harmful?

I know you want a well-rounded boy and it's really unlikely that he'll be this obsessed with planets for the rest of his life. Maybe it makes him feel secure. Maybe it reminds him of something that makes him feel safe, who knows? If he was intersted in planets until he got his PhD in something related, would that be bad?

Why prohibit or limit a productive hobby? He can only learn. Maybe he'll be an astrophysicist or astronaut some day. Maybe he'll desgin the next generation of space travel vehicles. Or maybe he'll feel like his interests are bad and he shouldn't pursue them because he'll disappoint you. Maybe he'll move into obsessions with model trains next, then baseball, then with girls, then partying. You'll miss the simple days of planets. :)

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

let his imagination run. its not going to hurt anything and maybe if you dont supress his imagination he will be an astronaut and you can say thats my boy up there.

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