Seeking Advice on Potty-training a Very Resistant Four Year Old.

My sons were five and six when they FINALLY were potty trained. Mostly it was laziness. I got fed up and threw out the diapers. NO MORE! Instantly potty trained. It's like they knew what to do but didn't have to. Once they had to...they did it.

I sent this out to some friends a few weeks ago.. maybe it will help.
I'm sooo sorry the poor little boy has had to go thru so much :-(
i'm starting my two little ones in two weeks to get them both potty trained this summer:-) wish me luck..and good luck to you and your son.
you could even call the institute i mention below for ideas maybe.

**even though this class was basically about potty training,,, the Institute-that put on the class- also deals with many different children issues-listed below- so they may be a place anyone could keep in their memory banks incase it's needed.. but some good information on potty training.. Or you can pass this along to others you may know who could use the information as well.

we went to this toilet training and sleep issue class a few weeks ago..and I emailed this to a friend after her and I got talking about it for her son who just turned 3..so I sent this to her and realized that others may benefit from the information as well.
so here ya go..

this class was thru the Munroe-Meyer Institute pediatric psychology thru children's. Brett Kuhn phd did the class.
contact numbers ###-###-#### 800-696-3937
munroe-meyer deals with academic/school problems,,, adjustment(death/divorce), anxiety/fears, attention & behavior problems, feeding/eating problems,, habits(thumb sucking example),,, sleep problems, toileting.

Toilet training readiness skills:
at least 20 months old or preferably 24 mo
pick up objects, lower and raise paints, and walk from room to room
staying dry for several hours at a time.
urinating only 4-6 times a day
completely emptying the bladder each time.

toilet training:
bladder and bowel awareness-making a face or assuming a special posture like squatting, or going to a certain location
language readiness-understands toileting words like 'wet' 'dry' 'pants' 'bathroom'
instructional readiness-understands simple instructions, such as come hear please, and sit down
-complies with 6-10 instructions
-likes to imitate
toilet training:
procedures-
make sure both you and your child are ready
get rid of diapers during day- don't go back to them even if you go on errands. prepare for accidents, bring along a change of clothes.
increase fluids(eating salty food will make them thirsty and a little caffeine will make them go,, both good things for this)
scheduled/prompted toilet sits(set goals low to ensure success)
(atleast 5 sits a day no less than 3 a day, 15-20 mins after major meals, schedule during high frequency likely times)
dry pants check every 15 mins with high praises when dry(this is done with out diapers on. with underpants - kind of hard if naked..lol)
expect accidents
use positive practice procedure after every accident(this is after each accident , have them go sit on the potty at least 10 times as a 'practice run' from where the accident happened to the potty)
praises/reinforce every time any part completed correctly. (4 positive reinforcements to 1 negative)


the class also went over sleep issues.. but that's too long to type up..lol
but here are a few links to the sleep t hings if you want to take a look at them in the event you have any problems with that..
resources they listed to us:
http://www.aasmnet.org/
http://www.sleepfoundation.org/site/c.huIXKjM0IxF/b.24171...
http://www.sleepeducation.com/
http://www.babycenter.com/

Munroe-meyer assessed Bella when she was about 6 months to see if she needed any therapy for being premature but she didn't.

they also referenced this book Toddler owners manual by Brett Kuhn and Joe Borgenicht
book

a few other potty things they talked about was starting the boys sitting to urinate instead of sitting because that can lead to issues with not wanting to or being able to sit to have a bowel movement. the dad should also sit to urinate in front of the child.
if there has been past issues with constipation and the child is afraid to sit on the potty to go,, you may have to take very small baby steps with getting them back comfortable with the potty. like just having them sit on the potty with a diaper on with a timer for only 5 seconds at a time at first.. then increase it a few seconds etc. very small baby steps. lol

it was a very informative and good class

T.

OMG My son was potty trained at 2 about three months later he got really constipated and was in so much pain, like your son he linked it to the "potty", and would make us put a diaper on him when he needed to poop, I thought he was an oddity glad to knnow I wasn't the only one :0.
One day I was fed up and refused to put the diaper on him and told him he knew where the bathroom was if he needed to go. This was about 2 months later.I put books in there, and his gameboy, with older siblings he was into video games, he put up one heck of a struggle and wouldn't go but guess what nature won in the end, and he really didn't like the feeling of dirty underwear and after one week he got a new toy, it was hard because we don't want our children to suffer and lets face it they can be very stubborn, but sometimes we have to "bite the bullet" and pray we are going to win. I don't now if it helped any but good luck and let me know how it turns out.

My four year old had cronic constipation when he was two and it postponed potty training. The doctors said that it could take 6 months to a year to fully get him to be comfortable pooping in the potty. They had me put him on Miralax. I started with 1 teaspoon in juice once a day and slowly worked up to 1 tablespoon a day. The Miralax was nice because it only softened the stools. After being on the Miralax for a couple of months he was ready to potty train. It then took about 6 months to retrain his brain that it doesn't hurt to go poop. You might want to talk with your doctor about his constipation. Also if you have any questions about our experiance, you can email me at ____@____.com.
T.

J., My four year old little boy was the same way. He would get seriously constapated and the thought of going to the potty was painful for everyone. So we mentioned it to his ped. and she gave us a perscription for a child type stool softener. It helped him go potty and in a couple of days we were able to start potty training again, because he realized it did not hurt. It took some long trips to the potty but it got easier and now he is almost five and completely trained. It is great. Good luck!

My son had a similar situation. He was fully potty trained for almost two months and then we moved. He refused to poop on the potty. Since he was refusing, he started holding. Then when we convinced him to go, it hurt him terrible. Initially, yes, he was being stubborn. Though, after so long, they train themselves to hold it.

Our doctor prescribed Miralax. It has worked very well. We still have to give it to him on occasion. (This was all two years ago.) Another nice thing about this medication, it is not harmful to their system.

Good luck!

My son was the same way when I tried to train him. He was convinced it would hurt more to go in the potty than in his pants. He'd even hide from me, so I wouldn't put him on the potty. I used enemas for him so his stool was really loose. That helped. I gave him prune juice and mineral oil to help soften the stool. After about a month or maybe longer he finally realized going in his pants was worse than in the toilet. It took time and patience but it finally worked.
Good luck!!!

I had the same potty issues with my son (age 4) until recently. I talked with our doctor and she suggested that we try giving him a prune or 2 (my son actually loves the prunes! he thinks they are special treats!) every day for a few weeks to help get his body regulated and to also make sure to get him sit on the potty with some boooks or something (to prevent boredom!) at the same time every day. (We picked after dinner since that's when he'd have his "accidents".) That did the trick! However he soon became resist to sitting on the potty, even when we were pretty sure he had to go so we came up with an incentive program for him as well... My son is obsessed with toy cars so we told him that he would get a new car after he pooped in the potty. That went well for a while but then he regressed after his sister was born. (We had expected that though.)So, the rules changed... if he went in his pants, especially after we'd asked him to sit and he refused, he got a toy car taken away. (We made sure it was a new one usually to get some impact with the loss) and then to get it back, he'd have to poop in the potty like he was supposed to. The newer cars were still available to earn but if he'd had any taken away, he had to earn those back first. We're at the point now that if he has had no accidents during the week, he gets a new car some time on the weekend. If he asks for a car during the week, i usually deflect the request with the offer of a sticker instead and he's usually okay with that since he likes putting stickers in his sticker book. Oh, and although he still gets prunes, it's more like one every few days, just to help keep him regular. Good luck and have patience!

Hi J.,

Hope you don't get this twice; I don't think it was sent the first time.

Work on foods to help regulate him. Good fiber sources are orange juice, raisins, prunes, pears, peas, apples.

Stay away from carrots, rice, bananas, applesauce.

Try that new yogurt, Activa, they say it regulates you in 2 wks.

The "placebo effect" works well on children this age. Tell your son that the yogurt is a special food that will take the pain away.

I feel awful your son got so hurt. Maybe you can just start from scratch again --- start a reward system for him or feed him a lot of grapes so he'll have to poop no matter what an maybe he'll suprise you. Let him know big boys don't wear diapers and don't poop in their big boy underwear. Maybe get him some new special underwear? My prayers go out to you.