Question for Mom's with ADHD Kids

Updated on March 21, 2011
J.D. asks from Flower Mound, TX
9 answers

My son is 11 and has just been diagnosed with ADHD and is being tested for Dysgrafia and fine motor skills as well. My question is really for those that have chosen not to medicate. What works and what doesn't work for your child? There is a lot of information out there but it is hard to decipher what is really worth the effort of trying. My son does not have behavioral issues, the biggest issue is with attentions, organization and turning in completed work.

We are addressing the Dysgrafria with an OT and will be seeking necessary modifications for this, I am just not convinced that medicating my son is the best course of action without trying other things first. I expected to be offered other things to try first, but all the doctors have offered up is medication. We have seen 2 doctors to confirm the ADHD diagnosis, one of which is a Developmental Pediatrician.

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N.C.

answers from Dallas on

My five year old was diagnosed with ADHD in September. At first I was really nervous because he is so young, but I will say that almost seven months later he is even better that I could have imagined. He has gone for never finishing school work to now being the smartest kid in his class. We have had him tested in the last two weeks and he is now able to skip Kindergarten (he won’t but we can if we choose). Make sure you do a lot of research on the medicine the doctor prescribes for you, there are a lot of other issues that are also treated with certain medicines and you need to be careful with that. You will also have to alter his diet a little...the thing they don’t tell you a lot is the medicines make them lose weight and they are never hungry. When my son eats we make sure to give him a lot of good fat and a lot of food in general. He eats a good breakfast (pancakes, cereal milk and yogurt) and then it is hit or miss the rest of the day. If he is good I will take him to a "special" dinner but really it is just to get him to eat a lot!! You will notice an average of 1-3 pounds weight loss each visit and the first 3 days of new medicine / dosage change are very difficult. Don’t want to scare you, but I was not prepared and it was an eye opening experience!

The difference you will see if amazing and pretty quick, we noticed within a week. I would defiantly recommend doing what the doctors say, they are specialists in the field and they don’t hand out prescriptions with this stuff as often as you would think. When we were diagnosed we went to two pediatricians and three specialists all which did tests, blood work and asked a million questions. Made me more comfortable about it all! Good luck it is scary to think about the medicine but well worth it!!!!

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S.T.

answers from New York on

I've done both. My now 11 yo son has been on medication for some years, and when he was insistent that he didn't want to be on medication we experimented and he was not on meds for some of 3rd and 4th grade.

We tried the Feingold diet. There is some limited anecdotal success - but very limited. While I don't think there was any harm in doing it we did not see any significant difference and it's pretty costly to find only foods without additives, preservatives, artificial colors, etc.

I've taught sunday school & VBS and now am a sponsor in youth group - so I've had a good view of many, many kids over the years. I have friends who swear by various diets (wheat free, vegetarian) some have home schooled, etc. What I've witnessed is that although the parents think their methods are working, once the parents leave their child at suday school or youth group, the child becomes the ADHD kid that they really are. It's as if they "behave" as mom wants them to when she's around - but it doesn't stick. I just spent president's weekend on retreat with 50 middle schoolers from age 11 - 14. Trust me - the kids on the special diets whose parents think they don't exhibit ADHD charateristics still do as soon as mom drove out of the parking lot and we all got on the bus. These kids want to make mom happy - but they are still who they are.

My son has always had a tough time paying attention and taking on tasks that involve multiple steps or extended periods of concentration. He does MUCH better when he can work on something that he's really interested in - or when the teacher encourages him and has set high expectations. He has always risen to the expectations set by a good teacher. I've seen him sit down and write out 8 pages about the gold rush in one sitting - becuase his teacher expected him to be able to do it and he liked the subject. But his teacher was a special ed teacher who knew how to work with him to get the best out of him.

But through all of this - he's ALWAYS done better when on medication. He takes a very low dose, it's time released to last 7 hours - just enoguth to get through school & homework but not long enough to affect his sleep.

In the years that he didn't take medication he had a much tougher time in school. He still "got by" but he didn't excel, he really struggled and only resulted in less than average work. In the years when he's been on medication he's done so much better - his teachers have enjoyed having him inclass, he's been able to do very good work and is gratified by seeing the results of his hard work. He's done better socially, in athletics, etc.

I am not saying that medication is neccessary - what I'm saying is that it enables your child to be the child he is meant to be. He can take advantage of his skills, he can concentrate and not disrupt the class or the group, he can defer gratification becuase he's seen that there's a good outcome when he works hard.

If I had to go back and do it over I'd not hesitate to use medication. My illustration is this - if your child was diabetic wouldn't you give them insulin?

There are many highly successful people who work with their ADHD - there is something about a person who's got lots of energy and personality - if they can correctly harness it. There are great books (the gift of ADHD, etc.) to read that show you that this can truly be a gift. These kids are something else - I mean that in a good way. There are also books by Mel Levine and Cynthia Tobias that help udnerstand the different way minds work, learning styles, etc. they may be helpful as well. I personally cried when my son's teacher suggested he was ADHD - and now - 6 years later I see it as something that will one day help my son now that he's learning how to harness his creativity and energy.

Good luck making this decision - I understand your hesitence becuase I was not convinced either and delayed putting him on medicine and then stopped it for nearly 2 years... and I think I did him a disservice and wonder how much more he could have come along in that time. But God works it all out for good - so I'm counting on His grace to smooth out my errrors over the years - cuz I know there have been enough!

Best of luck making this decision.

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C.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

If it's playing in your area on PBS tonight is an awesome documentary on ADD: ADD & Loving it! It address' the drug issue in detail.

If it's not on, there is also a web site: http://totallyadd.com

The reason your dr's brought up meds so early is probably because your sons biggest issues are attention & organization. Those are symptoms that benefit greatly from meds. Focalin is wonderful. I take it daily and it has improved my life immensely! It also helps ADD'r avoid being over-stimulated and allow them to focus on one thing at a time.
There are things you can learn to do 'train' yourself-but that only helps to a certain degree. Bottom line is that his brain is wired differently and meds help address that best.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Please, please, please listen to the specialists helping your son. There are so many myths and scams out there, professing "natural" cures to ADHD. There are none. Science has shown that and you'll waste a lot of time trying diets, vitamins and other tactics that have never proven useful (if they do, it's not ADHD), are totally unregulated and could be harmful. The only supplement with any promise are the omegas, but even then people tend to combine those with medication.

Do not rule out medication based on your own fears. Address your concerns directly with the doctors. What is preventing you from considering them? Take this to the experts, not the general public. In our son's case, medication completely transformed his life and allowed him to succeed at school and at home.

Also recognize that medication isn't a one-shot treatment option. You'll want to combine it with therapist visits who can address the challenges your son is facing.

Please join CHADD and subscribe to ADDitude magazine for useful information about dealing with this condition. They're very science-based and will offer accurate information.

Best of luck to you as you begin this journey. It's a challenging one but the medical experts really can help.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.V.

answers from Dallas on

I have ADHD myself, and I can tell you that nutrition makes a HUGE difference in my attention and follow-through. I have to watch my sugar, especially, and I have to make sure I don't get too hungry or skip any meals. I tried medication (I was diagnosed in college), but I hated it, so I sought out alternatives.

Exercise also makes a big difference. Getting enough physical activity really helps me to focus when I need to.

And finally, daily routines, written or typed and posted where they're visible, really help with organization. I am terrible at keeping up with housework (just ask my poor hubby, lol), and coming up with workable routines has really helped with that. Check out www.flylady.net for help with routines. I think she has info on helping kids come up with routines as well.

Good luck!

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J.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I believe I have ADD now after having 2 kids & going through hell to get one through steroid addiction withdrawals, but I refuse to go to any doctor to be put on drugs. So what I found beneficial was fish oil supplements. While taking a pre-natal vitamin with fish oil in it for 2 years stress never bothered me. Once I stopped my immune system dropped & now I get sick easily again & the stress is back. I'm also giving it to my son now for his eczema & he's already looking better just after a week of using it. Some experts are saying that ADHD is coming from our poor american diets especially the sugars in processed foods. Look out for High Fructose Corn Syrup on labels. It's really damaging to our health, but as the previous poster said nutrition is key & adding a good natural multi-vitamin with a fish oil supplement would probably work wonders. Here's some info on it...
http://borntoexplore.org/omega.htm
There's alot of other resources out there as well, so do your own research. By the way fish oil is all natural & you can find it in most health food stores. She'll probably need a higher dose than recommended, so try to find a wholistic doctor or dietitian with alot of experience to help you through this.

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

I HIGHLY Recommend Dr. Cavazos to help you treat it naturally.....I saw him speak this weekend and was BLOWN away....that is where I would go for direction. He is definitely Wholistic in his approach.

www.brainworxcenters.com

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J.B.

answers from Detroit on

I have found a lot of ADHD info on the web. I don't have child with it but my Husband was just diagnosed a couple of years ago. One of the main things I have read it that they need to stay in a routine/schedule. Changing the course of the day really can mess them up. I agree that taking meds is not the best answer and it makes me mad that Doctors never try to figure things out they just give you a pill and send you on your way. Therapy helps a lot also. Encourage him to get up at the same time, eat meals at the same time each day, do homework and chores and go to bed at the same time too. All of that will help. If you can afford it going to a homeopathic or naturopathic Doctor they can help you find natural supplements to help him. I am sorry you have to deal with this but you are going in the riight direction by not just giving him a pill and hope it gets better. Good Luck.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 10 year old daughter with ADHD. In the beginning I refused to medicate her but after watching her fail in school and her self esteem go down because of the problems, we ended up medicating her.

My best advice for you is to research, research, research! Every child is different, every mother in the world has their own opinion, what's worked for them, what didn't, what they believe in, what they don't. But the bottom line is what works for your family and what are you comfortable with. Make sure you join CHADD, great organization, great information. And just read lots of books and educate yourself! Try lots of different things (because although people will give you suggestions, not everything works for every child). And from one mom to another, I would tell you most importantly be patient and do not blame yourself!! Stay strong and patient and you will get through this!

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