Public School: to Uniform or Not to Uniform?

Updated on August 10, 2015
T.R. asks from Altamonte Springs, FL
21 answers

My daughter goes to a public elementary school and school uniforms are encouraged but not mandatory. So while she was fine wearing a uniform in K (excited even, of course 1st year in big school!), last year in 1st (totally different story) after the first semester she didn't want to wear one anymore because some of the other kids didn't. We spent the following semester at odds over it, and by the 3rd semester she was not wearing any part of the uniform, and I was over it by then and felt like it's just not a battle worth picking. She enjoys school, even homework and is excelling. So, as we are gearing up for Back to School, are your kids in a school where uniforms are encouraged but not mandatory? And what are you and your kids doing?

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So What Happened?

It IS a weird policy, but it's for the exact reasons Mel R stated. They are testing and not enforcing because of lower income children. Some schools in the district are mandatory some just regular dress code. The dress code is pretty strict as is.. my daughter does like to wear her school spirit shirt on most Fridays, so we'll just go with that. Thanks mamas!

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I think uniforms make mornings much easier. I find that I am able to get away with the same ones for much longer since I don't have to worry about the latest trends. I would push the school for mandatory uniforms.

5 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

Clearly all the kids need to be in uniforms, or no uniforms at all. If they are not requiring all kids wear uniforms, then I wouldn't make my child wear one. Sad to say, but the uniform kids are probably getting teased.

2 moms found this helpful

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C.B.

answers from Cleveland on

The school needs to decide if they require uniforms or not. I've never heard of a school giving students a choice.

Our public schools require uniforms. My oldest who graduated this year had to start wearing them when she was in 6th grade. My youngest who is going into 7th grade started wearing them in Kindergarten.

I prefer the uniforms. Makes shopping so much easier. I buy 5 shirts and 5 pants. When doing wash at the end of the week, my daughter counts to make sure she has 5 shirts and 5 pants so she knows they are all there. Eliminates having to do an unexpected load during the week because something didn't make it to the basement. Makes mornings easier because no one is looking for a particular shirt/pants to wear.

11 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Wait, what? They are encouraged but not mandatory? That's insane! It should be mandatory or not encouraged.

I am for uniforms. I had to wear them for the first half of my junior year of high school. Not only did it save my parents money, but it made getting dressed for school SO easy. Plus it put everyone on the same level. Of course we could put our own twist on the uniform, but it made everything equal.

My kids do not go to schools where uniforms are mentioned at all.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

IMO, it's silly to have an optional uniform policy. Either they do or they don't. Here some public schools do and some don't. Ours does not.

I think if it's optional and she can dress according to the dress code without causing a fuss other than at home, let her wear what she wants. However, I would tell her that failure to dress appropriately would result in the uniform or clothing being picked out for her.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Uniforms are great.
They are always appropriate.
And actually, NOT giving in to the latest fad in clothing saves you a lot of money.
You just don't buy it - it's not in the house - and that's the end of that.
You have clothes for school and a few clothes for play - and that's it.
Our son went to private school for 1st and 2nd grade - uniforms were great.
We moved and now he's in public school and although there is no uniform - he pretty much dresses in polo shirts and neat jeans except for presentation days when he needs to wear a suit and tie.

6 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

I've never heard of such a weird system - it either is uniforms or it isn't. Why have rules if they're just optional? And your child is the perfect example of why it's a bad system - the parents invest and then the child follows other children, not always the best example of follow through. Personally, I would prefer uniforms, but our school doesn't have them. Some in our district do, but ours doesn't.

I don't think this is a hill to die on. If she doesn't want them, don't force it. But I'd have a serious conversation with her about blindly following peers, which it sounds like she's doing.

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M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

No uniforms required or optional at our public schools, but I wanted to say it's interesting to me that a school says uniforms are optional; that sounds like a recipe for uniforms eventually falling by the wayside. Did the school maybe cave in to some parents who were pushing for uniforms but the school felt it couldn't go all the way and mandate them for everyone?

What reason does the school give for being "uniform-optional"? Is it possible that the school officials worry that if they make uniforms mandatory, there are some families for whom buying uniform clothing will be a financial hardship? I know that uniforms in the end do save money for families, but at the start there can be a bigger outlay to get all the pieces required, and families with several kids in the school could find that initial outlay to be prohibitively expensive if it hits all at once.

If the school says that cost for some families is the reason it's optional, suggest to the school that there be a "uniform closet" where families can donate items kids have outgrown and other families can go, discreetly, to pick up donated items to use. Maybe add the idea that, for students who qualify for free lunch (often used as a yardstick to indicate which kids' families have some financial needs), there could be some way to subsidize uniforms, perhaps by the PTA or another organization, if uniforms become mandatory.

That was not really an answer to the question, but just something that occurred to me. In your own daughter's case, you made the call that uniforms were not worth arguing over, and I think that's the right call, especially as the school doesn't care enough about uniforms (yet) to make them mandatory. Just keep your ear to the ground, in case the whole "optional" policy is really a way to test the idea of uniforms; if that's the case, the school could eventually decide to make them mandatory.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

If it's not mandatory it doesn't sound like a battle worth fighting to me. It's too bad because uniforms would be easier, but I'd let it go. I would buy her some options that she can wear as a uniform and let her decide. Tell her she has options and if she'd like to sometimes wear it to make her life easier then go for it.

Our public school does not have any uniform option at all. I'm fine with a public school enforcing it but I think the optional thing is just weird.

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O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Ours are mandatory and I'm glad. It's so much easier and every Friday is casual so they do still get to wear what they want. Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I don't understand why the school makes this optional. Around here you either have uniforms or you don't... no in between.

Your school rules on uniforms sounds messed up to me. I have no issue with or without uniforms but the school should make a choice and stick with it. This wavering back and forth does nothing but confuse children and frustrate parents.

The school needs to decide if they want uniforms or not and make a decision... GEEZE. I hope they are not this wishy washy on more important issues at the school.

Our schools had no uniforms (public school) but they did have a pretty strict dress code in the higher grade levels. I would have had no issue if our schools had uniforms.

We did basic shopping before school started and then after school started we would shop for pieces that daughter wanted to spice up her wardrobe with her styles.

4 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from Boston on

No school uniforms when my kids were in school. Such a bummer because I would have loved to just get 16 sets of uniforms for 4 kids and call it a day.

If they aren't mandatory then don't get them. I use to wait until after school started to do back to school clothes shopping. That way the kids could see what everyone else was wearing and pick out what they would wear. Sometimes it was what the other kids had but usually it was a twist on the current fashion.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

It is odd to have non-mandatory uniforms. That just causes problems, as you've experienced first had. It should either be mandatory or not at all.

Since it is optional then your kid gets to decide. I would not make a battle over it.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

That is the weirdest arrangement! Seems like most kids wouldn't WANT to wear uniforms past a certain age. Why does the school even bother? But now you've got me thinking....I guess EVERY school has uniforms as an option! It's not like they're forbidden...My oldest and middle one wouldn't wear them given a choice.... My youngest would but only once in a while. I wish we had a school with mandatory uniforms. That would make life so easy! But ours isn't so bad. Most kids are low income so hand-me-downs, cheap clothes, and repeat wears are totally OK and no one's running around in fancy stuff.

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Never heard of "uniform optional" policy.
We don't have them so not an issue.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have never heard such a thing, but could you do a bit of both? Uniform Monday to Thursday and casual Friday?

ETA: B, don't you still need a wardrobe for evenings, summer, weekends and other holidays?

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

That's odd...optional uniforms....never heard of it...I've always know it to be all or nothing....and having gone to Catholic school with uniforms, I absolutely detested the the whole uniform thing (you will never catch me in a plaid skirt of any kind ever again---and now that I think of it, navy blue shoes either) And when I hit 9th grade there was still competition with the shoes, bags and backpacks, purses, coats and other accesories....

good luck

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i grew up with school uniforms, and think they are a huge blessing. due to strange circumstances i was a lower middle income kid going to school with rich kids, but i didn't even realize it until i was a teenager. it totally removes all that exhaustive ridiculous social stigma over who has the most expensive jeans.
by middle school i'd let my kids pick. but in elementary i'd hold firm and stick with the uniforms. it's true that in middle school the social pressure ramps up excessively, but that's also an age where kids need more autonomy. but in elementary school i'd sidestep all that and make the executive decision to keep my and my kids' lives simpler by going with the uniform.
there would be no battle. sometimes parental edicts are called for.
khairete
S.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

My school was like that about 50% of kindergartners wore them, 10% 1st graders, and only a handful in the higher grades.

1 mom found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Seems pointless to have a uniform be optional. Unless there is talk of them switching to everyone having uniforms later in the year, I'd say go with regular clothes.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

AFIC, clothing is one of htose areas where kids learn to make decisions by weighing their options, and there are few "wrong" answers. I would let her wear what she wants as long as it's appropriate for the weather and covers her girly bits.
My kid had mandatory uniforms in elementary and middle school, but not high school. She was thrilled to finally get out of the whole uniform grind, because she HATED the uniforms.

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