Privacy/ Safety Concerns

I have the same proublem. They want the kids to know so much more and more. I have tried talking to my children about talking to complete strangers. But that seems to go in one ear and out other. It is great that they are learing..But the schools also need to stop and teach the kids when and who to tell there numbers and info like that.

Live has become a scary place. And it is hard to keep the children safe. We just need to hope that they have been listig and keep sounding like a brocken recoard until it sinks in.

Just keep talking to you children.

wow, pretty scary. I went onto Google and checked it out-sure enough, i found what you found. this world is a crazy place. But the other ladies are right too...if someone wants to find you, they will find a way regardless of these internet sources. When I moved to Philly 3 years ago, within the first week of living there I had identity theft happen to me 3 times. 3 different credit card numbers were stolen and used across the nation, when I never even activated 2 of the cards (they used them for internet purchases, and being that I never activated the cards, a red flag went up to the credit card companies thankfully). One of them was attached to my bank account and I had no money for weeks. I don't know about the 2 credit cards that I never use. I have no idea how these people got that info, but I was told not to use your credit card at restaurants because waiters and waitresses can steal all the info (including the security code on the back) and sell the numbers and info to people that want to steal your identity. They can go online and get your address, phone number, whatever they need to complete a transaction. I get very angry when the banks send me credit card access checks in the mail. they have the account number and everything on them and just look like junk mail. with all the dumpster divers and lost mail floating around, there is bound to be some repurcussions. anyway, what I am saying is that using someone's phone number is just one of the ways people get harassed by others meaning harm. it is better that your child knows the info than not. but you have to tell your child who to give the info to. A policeman, fireman, etc., not Joe Creepy Neighbor guy. I don't think there is really sucha thing as anonimity anymore as much as we try to fight for our privacy. We are on every computer database and search engine out there even if we tell the phone company not to list our numbers. frustrating, isn't it! Just do the best you can, that is what we all do. Make sure your kid knows who should be privy to this important info.

Even 10 years ago if someone really wanted your unlisted phone number to get your address they could find ways to get it. Are you aware that if someone gets your account number of your utilities (bill stub from your trash), they can call that utility, and turn it off and then password protect it so that you need to go to them in person with ID to restart your utilities? I have an ex who was very crafty and this was before the internet as we know it today. Trust me, the internet may make it a bit easier, but not that much. If someone wants to find you badly enough they can and will, regardless of technology or security. It has always been that way and always will. Wrapping your mind around that stuff and still finding a way to live and enjoy life is one of the challenges we all face. But as a mom, I too know the degree to which our fears can go. You can do your best with caution, but then the rest is just faith.

Believe me, I know just how scary the internet can be now of days. I was pissed when I found out just how much a person can find out about you on the internet with just your name. I had someone that I did not hear from (in years and years) nor care to hear from contact me and I was pissed and frankly a little bit scared that they would go through all the trouble that they went through to find me. To be honest, I was freaked out for days and even I had my husband tell them that i did not live there and that they had the wrong number they still kept calling. The internet gives out far too much information now of days. If you wanted people to have that information than you would give it to them they should NOT be able to look it up. It is scary and dangerous.

I realize kids like to share information and this can be a little stressful at times but I think the benefit of your child knowing their home phone number can far outweigh the negatives here with a little coaching from you.

Both of your children are old enough for you to talk to about stranger danger. Emphasize to your 4 year old that you are proud of his accomplishment in learning his phone number but stress that you don't want him to share it with everyone. Tell him who he is allowed to share the information with (for instance, in an emergency or if you were separated, he could share the number with a policeman, a fireman or the 911 operator).

I know that having all of our information out there available for others to find on the web can be frustrating, annoying and stressful. It can make parenting a little more challenging in today's world. At the same time, we need our children to know how to reach us and where they live with all of the dangers out there in the world today. In some cases, it can make all the difference in the world. I've seen several cases on the news where it was a 2 or 3 year old calling 911 that has saved the life/lives of a parent/parents.

You want your child to know their phone number, but it is also time to have the safety/stranger conversation with him. They may have even talked to them about that at school. There are age-appropriate books to help with the conversation. The pre-school may even have one or two that you can borrow. You can teach a pre-schooler when to & when not to give out a phone number. It is a shame that we live in such a scary world, though.

Hi D.,

You can remove yourself from the list. http://www.google.com/help/pbremoval.html

This link is the removal page. It also gives you a small list of other places where your number may be.

You can also put in an address and get a telephone number, so I'd defenitly remove myself.

Thanks,
D.

Yes, this is a scary thing, but it's time to put all the pieces together and make a realistic picture for your child and yourself. Yes, it's important for your child to know your phone number, address and your name. (Lots of really young kids don't know, or will forget their parents' first names under stress.) It's also important to teach your child when it's appropriate to give out that information.
And another important thing to remember. Yes, the world has some scary bits to it. Technology makes it possible to find personal info on nearly everyone, and I think that unless you live in a tent and move around like a nomad, if someone really wants to find you, they can. But the VAST majority of people in this world are good people, and that's important to remember.
Finally, I have to share with you a story about a 13 year old, yes THIRTEEN year old boy scout in my troop who did not know his address! When we discovered this, he said, "I know which house I live on and where the street is, I don't need to know it." I was simply amazed. He didn't know his phone number either, saying that it was on speed dial on his cell phone. We talked to his parents about this, and they were truly oblivious to why this could be a problem, especially at age 13! And guess what! The boys' parents did nothing. It was another parent in the troop, a neighbor of theirs, who was pretty comfortable about stepping in. When the boy was visiting her house one day, she made him write his address and phone number 100 times each while sitting at her dining room table. Now he remembers his address and phone number!