Preschool Skanky Moms

Hi there,
I'm married to a police officer too and YES YES YES he looks super hot in his uniform.
I'm not the only one who notices it, and you know what? I'M PROUD! HE'S MINE! lol
They can look and drool all they want, and its actually flattering, thats MY stuff. ;)
I wouldn't worry about those women, truly, let it go. Would you want him to get all crazy when other men give you the eye?
I wouldn't want my husband to do that, I wouldn't want him not to trust me and how I can handle myself.
Just be proud and smile about it, knowing he belongs to you.

Its hear-say. You don't know exactly what was said. I wouldn't proceed in any way. I actually feel a sense of caution about this father. "Don't tell them I told you but..." Come on! This is a non-starter.

Jen

That kind of drama comes with the uniform. My husband has been an officer for nearly 20 years and things like that happen all the time. This won't be the last. Laugh it off.

Isn't it nice that other women think your husband is "HOT". And isn't it great that he's all yours. Don't give these women another thought. They could be just having a little fun girl chit-chat amongst themselves, just playing around. As long as it is all talk amongst themselves and your husband is entirely devoted to you, then so what if these women think your husband is good looking. You have nothing to worry about.

D., once more, too much drama. I feel badly for you and wish I knew how to help you find a way to let go of being so negatively influenced by others. Live your life and let others live theirs. You do not need to get involved. You don't even know, for sure what was said. Geez. Let it go!

I'm a retired police officer and I can tell you that I've heard lots of women make sexy remarks about men in uniform. It goes with the territory. I've dated officers and did not get upset even when I personally heard other women make comments about my man. It's just the way it is. You cannot change it. And most importantly what they think or even say should not be of any importance to you.

What is important is the life you live with your husband and children. Focus on your family. Let go of everyone else's life.. Find a way to live without the drama!

Honestly, it sounds like preschool dad is hitting on you / feeling out how you feel about your husband.

D. as one LEO wife to another, don't worry about it. We already know that our husband's are HOT in uniform and we all know that there are women who "love a man in uniform" (or badge bunnies if you will, for LEOs).

But if your husband is anything like mine (which he sounds like he is) he just wants to drop off your son and go home to bed. Mine worked Midnights, then days and is back to a crazy schedule again and he just wants his sleep when possible, if its not family time.

Just look at it this way, these women think your husband is HOT, which is great - they can look all they want, but YOU HAVE HIM AND HE'S NOT LEAVING!!!

Some of these women think it is such a wonderful life with a LEO, all the danger/excitement/etc... they don't know squat...the crazy schedules, the uniforms, the worry/anxiety/stress, feeling like a single parent at times, the holidays that are "not normal" and things like that. (Yes everyone there are Great things about being a LEO wife too)

I will tell you I personally went through this whole anger/anxiety issue when I was not feeling great about myself but then I realized that my husband wasn't going anywhere and he loved me, even when I wasn't at my best.

Just remember it is a COMPLIMENT to YOU b/c YOU ARE HIS CHOICE!!!

EDIT:: If you ever hear them say "He is so HOT" or anything like that - just be cute and say "Yeah, I think so too. I think I'll keep him around :)" Something like that, it may break the ice

DON'T go with your anger and talk to these women! Just ignore it and them, until one of them actually makes advances on your husband and even then let him handle it. If you say anything, you will just come off looking like the bad guy and like some crazy, jealous, insecure wife, especially since all you really know is hear-say from this other dad. If you hear something directly, you can decide then what to say and how to calmly, but firmly address it. Until that point, you will be better off saying nothing and doing nothing. Good luck!

Hi D.-

I hear you!! I've been married for 10 years and during that time I've had "girlfriends" become clingy towards my husband. I think it's because we have been married for so long, it show's he's stable, and they're looking for that.

I've tried to over look it or brush it off, but every time it becomes a problem, (inappropriate pictures or possessive behavior), and TOGETHER my husband & I ended the relationship with these women.

I think you need to talk to your husband, explain women (some) can be horrible and really try to grab other's husbands. Tell him your concerns, the gossip, and how to solve the issue.

Talking to the women won't help. They'll just think you're being snotty.

Best of luck.

R. Magby

I think you should consider yourself lucky that you have a handsome husband, who you trust completly, and that you are the envy of the other mommies!

WTG!

I'm sure it was said in fun and frankly, using that word at all makes me question your morals as much as theirs. Get over it and stop creating drama where none exists.

I wouldn't say anything. I have found that no matter how well-intentioned I am in approaching other people in situations like this, those on the receiving end are not open to hear what I have to say. And then you might just as well be talking to your houseplants!

It is always unsettling to hear people say things like that, but perhaps you could turn it around and say to yourself, "Hey, I have a HOT husband. Lucky me!"

Why would you want to confront them? You should be proud of the fact they find your husband attractive. My husband's super hot also, and there was one time a woman in his office propositioned him. I'd even met her before! Anyway, your husband is a big boy, just like mine, and they don't need us butting in like a mom to take care of the situation. They can take care of anything that comes there way should it ever come to that. I thought it was great actually that this girl from my husband's work was always having attention paid to her and usually got the guy she wanted, and my husband completely shot her down. On the flip side, I told my husband I wasn't surprised because he was hot! It would be embarrassing to me if my husband went off on a guy for hitting on me after I'd already handled it. Put yourself in your husband's shoes, and I'm sure you'll feel differently, plus these girls were just TALKING! Nothing even happened!!!

Would you rather hear that these women were overheard talking about how PATHETIC your husband looked ?? Honestly...your husband laughed it off, you should do the same!!! My guess is that if you were bold enough to go up to them and ask them why they said that about your husband, they wouldnt even REMEMBER the incident!!! And if they did remember it, your bringing it up to them and being combative would NOT achieve anything positive at all!! Why make enemies where none need to exist? Relax...go cuddle with that handsome hubby of yours and be glad that he is all yours!!! ( And as the wife of a retired military man I can tell you that YES there IS something about a man in a uniform!!!!)

D. where is this preschool at, I could use some eye candy first thing in the morning. Just Kidding.

I say just ignore them, don't stoop to their level, and laugh at how stupid they are. He comes home to you and it sounds like you have a great relationship. Like my granny used to say don't look for problems where there aren't any.

Enjoy your family!!!!

Ignore them. You can't change people, you can only change the way you respond to them.

There is nothing you can do, but you are totally right, it's sad that manners are so lax today that it's "cute or funny" to talk like this out loud as single parents at the school. Terrible example to their kids to be drooling over a married man, joking or not. I guess they think they're living a scene from Desperate Housewives and it hilarious. WAY TACKY. I would NEVER say flirty things about any other men-even when I was single-if they were married, aside from "Wow, his wife is lucky" maybe to a best friend in private. Someone should tell these ladies to have a little class, but ya, I agree, it can't be you.
And as for all these women calling you insecure for noticing the tacky nature of these giggly ladies, you were not at all saying you felt your man didn't like you and was probably going to dump you for these hot bimbos. But it does speak to the standards of our times right now that they are defending the ladies. People love to insult the wrong party.

Just leave it alone, it coudl have been a joke between the mothers but if u trust ur husband then u have nothing to worry about. Now if u here again that the mothers r still talking about ur hubby then i would say something, not in a rude way but just confront them and ask them to please stop!!!

If I approached them, I would probably laugh...as in, ya you wish you could!

Like said before let it go, but you should feel flattered your hubby is the eye candy in the morning lol AND your hubby is right, they have nothing better to do with their time. You trust your hubby and he trusts you... enough said :)

I'd not address the fact that they've been talking about YOUR husband, but rather put in 2 cents when they talk about another guy being HOT. It is tacky and you could nicely say something at that point. People talk like this because it seems normal. But it isn't appropriate for them to talk like this and it doesn't hurt to stand up for someone else who's husband is being lusted after. (just like it would've been nice if the guy who informed you about all this had stood up for YOU to these sleaze bag women).

Best wishes!

Don't stress it. You know he isn't going to do anything with a another woman, he knows he isn't going to do anything with someone else so let those ladies stand there and flap their lips!! It sounds like you have a strong marriage so no worries.

S.

I would just let it go. Be flattered that the moms think your husband is a catch. If they ever started being nasty to you, then by all means, speak up. But it is so not worth it to lower yourself and say something. You would end up looking like the one with a problem, like you were threatened and jealous. Which might encourage them if they were serious. I dont think anything good could come of confronting them. Lots of men and women harmlessly joke around about some good looking person, but most would never cheat or pursue a married person. I'd just take it as a compliment and be secure in your marriage to your handsome hubby that is the talk of the schoolyard. :)

If it bothers you that much then just casually say "so I hear you think my husband is hot." See what their reaction is and then have a good laugh about it. Unless they have actually approached him in a sexual way I wouldn't get too worked up about it.

Be happy that you have a hot hubby and embrace it.

i wouldn't do anything. he's yours. and you're his. it's flattering to have other women long for something they don't have, which is totally yours.
i wouldn't say anything, and i am very blunt usually.

I would let it go. Those women have nothing better to talk about than that?! Proceed as the wife of a devoted father and husband who just happens to be really hot!! Your confindence will enough to shut them up.

If this were my husband, I'd be beaming with pride!

Although you say you aren't, you sound really insecure. The women aren't intentionally trying to make someone else (you) unhappy. I bet you, as his wife, don't even come into their minds. They're enjoying the eye candy that apparently your husband is. I mean, have you ever thought a celebrity was hot? Say for instance, Brad Pitt (just picking someone at random). Would you say "Wow, that Brad Pitt is fine" with the intention of trying to emotionally ruin Angelina Jolie? Or would you just be noticing that he is hot because, well....he's hot! And remember, despite all the comments or looks that man comes home to you.

Instead of being bent out of shape about this and wanting to go give these women a piece of your mind, perhaps you should just enjoy the fact that you're the one who won the prize.

sit and laugh at them while they make fools of themselves! :)
You know where he'll be so everything is fine

I'd leave it alone. I understand your frustration, but if your husband isn't encouraging them and you trust him, just take it as a compliment that you have a HOT husband. :) Not saying anything makes you classier than they are. Good luck!

Don't sweat it.
Your marriage is strong. Look on the bright side, you aren't the only one who thinks your husband is hot...
Take it as a compliment :-)
LBC

I would say, let it go. Since you were not present when any of this was said, it wasn't meant for your ears. While it may be uncomfortable to think about other women making suggestive comments about your husband, there really hasn't been any harm done. People think all kinds of things, some they share, some they don't (and yes, some things they shouldn't share out loud). I would smile and be grateful to have an attractive, faithful husband and feel sorry for those women who are probably envious, have been hurt, and don't realize that that kind of behavior may be why they are alone.

I know my first reaction would be the same as yours. BUT do give the benefit of the doubt..it most likely was just spoken in jest most likely a harmless joke that was not meant seriosly at all. probably they meant they would like to find someone LIKE your husband not your husband himself.

Laurie D. is so right. I've had this happened to me before and I told my hubby and he just laughed as well.

your relationship IS with your husband NOT those women.... both MEN and women comment on "other" people's significant others ALL the time..
IF you weren't or aren't there to specifically hear their comments, then you really have no need to plot in order to tell them off.. who really cares what they say....
obviously, this caused the insecure or jealous part of you to rear its head.. maybe instead of telling these women off.. you could delve into why YOU are so jealous and ready for battle with other women whom simply made comments..
believe me.. men do the same thing.... and most of the time, all it is is talk..
Why not be proud your husband is nice looking..

It's hear say let it go...How would you address them anyway since you have no proof you didn't hear them actually talking about your hubby if you did then that is different (I would of thought you would of taken care of it right then and there)Ya police men are HOT in uniform I dated a few!!!

I wouldn't say anything to those skanky ladies...if anything happens you trust your husband to deal with it appropriately...and if you are ever together in front of him make sure you give him a big ole kiss in front of them hahaha or at least tell him to have his arm protectively around you ;)

I think I would keep my mouth shut. Your hubby has the right reaction. Why in the world would you even consider saying something to these women? Just to alienate them? Just to make it more difficult to have friends for your child to play with? Just to appear like an insecure, jealous wife? I can't think of O. good reason.

As annoying as it is (my husband is a Marine) as long as they have not commented to my husband or done anything directly to him or in front of you, I wouldn't address it. It probably was made in jest... a bunch of single women see an nice looking guy in uniform, yup. It's gonna happen, lol. If their attitude if fine with you and they don't seem like skanks in general, let it go. But if they don't seem like the types you'd want to talk to, whether they said that comment or not, just don't hang with them or chat with them. If they start up a conversation, just do the basics and say hi and tell them you're busy or tired. They'll get the hint and go back to cackling with each other.

I don't chat with other moms, unless I'm addressed first. I just don't feel I usually fit in with them.
1) I have triplets and they have no clue of my situation, can't relate.
2) I'm not from this area and are moving again with the military.
3) I'm in my 40s, they're younger. My youngests are the age of their oldest child, lol. I've been parenting for 23 years straight so discussing which brand of diaper is best or the latest cooky fads just doesn't work for me.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
(ages 23, 15 and 5.5, plus one grandchild)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
events and chat within 2 hour radius

I think you have answered your own questions. Your husband sounds very secure in himself and your relationship and albeit the flattery never hurts, he doesn't seem phased by it. And at the end of the day, he is the only person you have to worry about it. Take it as a compliment that your husband receives such praise, all that is really saying is that they are jealous of what you already have. I agree that it is very rude for these gals to be chatting about "hooking up" with him, but it could have been just a joke. If it really bothers you, take sometime to chat with these people when you do pick-up. Don't bring up what they said about your husband, but that doesn't mean you can't mention how great he is and how great your marriage is. They may actually agree with you!

Now, on the otherhand, if you have past experiences with these ladies that gives you a reason to believe they would actually try to create a situation with your husband, then of course you should say something. But if it is just casual conversation talking about who the handsome dads are, just be proud of the fact that the topic of conversation is YOUR man :)

I guess I would make a comment along the lines of .... So is he hot or what lucky me.. make it clear to them that hey he's yours lol

LOL I had the same problem at my kids old preK... laugh it off honey, and be proud that that is YOUR man!! If anything is ever said in your presense, simply say 'I KNOW he's a hottie, that's why I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be HIS WIFE.' Just smile it off. Your guy is right, those women need to find something better to do than lurk another womans husband. I used to show up at preschool functions with my BF on my arm, and absolutely glow when I saw the other moms turn green with envy. Don't let it get under your skin, those women are sooo not even worth it! Best wishes!

There's nothing wrong with admiring the scenery. And as long as that's all there is to it, I wouldn't be worried. More than likely they'd be pretty embarrassed if your husband knew about it. It kind of falls into the 'pointless gossip' category of small talk. If they were ogling openly (like the wolf whistling you hear if a pretty girl walks past a construction site), it could almost be considered harassment. I'd say it's not skanky so much as it is low class. Where I pick up my son from taekwondo, Mom's and Dad's too sometimes pick their kids up in various uniforms, and some look better than others. Occasionally one mom might quietly say to another 'that is one nice looking young man', but they don't really mean anything by it.

Feel flattered that you have a husband that's attractive and keep an eye on those whores. Police officers have a following sometimes. You should deck yourself out one day and do the drop-off and when you see them, give them the eye letting them know you're onto them. Good luck.

I also read one of the answers about the dad that told you that. Yes, maybe he's feeling YOU out and playing on your insecurities.

Just ignore it. It is just talk. If anything went further than talk, or if you husband could not handle it, then I would do something. Or if you could not trust hubby, then I would intervene. But it sounds like your hubby can handle himself and those women are no threat. If it were me I would feel flattered and not threatened.

Let it go! They are not worth fretting over. You and your husband are happy. don't let it bother you. :)

I noticed most of your responses were to the effect of 'don't say anything, count yourself lucky'. So here's mine hahahhaa (I, too, am a very secure woman as far as wife and mother go, but there are some things I do not tolerate.... I am sorry if you do not agree =) )

Number 1: No woman will stand around and oogle my husband in front of other people. That is nasty and childish. I would say something. I would probably word it like-Look ladies, I understand my husband is a fine speciman but it's alittle un-nerving that you stand around making comments. We are all adults here, this is not the high school cafeteria. Move along.

Number 2: These women (if they can be called that) do this at a DAY CARE!! This is not a bar!! You do not go to day cares to be stared at like a hunk of meat!! What if your child was old enough to understand what these women were saying, or maybe their children overheard their moms and said something to your child)

I think it's great your hubby is nice looking, and it probably makes you feel wonderful knowing he is coveted. But PLEASE people, that is not the appropriate time or place!!

D., I say, hold your head high and walk proud just knowing that others think you have a pretty great hubby. I'm sure it's all just innocent and you know how women are with a man in uniform, lol. You might regret it if you said something when there was no harm in what was being said in the first place. Don't worry about it and just know that you have something others want, lol!

I sure wouldn't bring this up with them. It will only create more problems! Can you do the dropoff/pick up some of the time? Your husband sounds like he's handling this very well.

Take the high road and ignore them. You obviously have better things to do than stand around talking about someone's husband. While it may be harmless in their eyes, it is just tacky!

If anything is said in front of you then you can say something.

There are always going to be moms out there more immature than their kids and some "skanky" ones too!

I would try to do a drop off together once in a while. Hold each other and walk in proudly :)

Mom's at all of my kids schools do this. It is pretty normal. I don't think they truly mean hook up, i think they are fantasizing. Supposedly my husband resembles Matthew Mc Counehay (however you spell it). He has been told at work, by my sister and girlfriends, and by random strangers and waitress'. I feel like the other mom's. It makes me feel lucky :) They don't go to bed with him at night ;)

Don't worry, men and woman googly eye at each other. You seem to have a loving husband that you can trust. That is all you need :)

I know you already got tons of responses. Just wanted to add my 2 cents worth! I would let it go. I think alot of women see a man in a uniform and they just go nuts. He could be dressed as a post man. It's a good indication that the man is employed.LOL There are lots of women out here looking for a man who has a job.
I wonder why this man is telling you this? It sounds like a really involved conversation to have just dropping kids off at preschool. I would question his motives as well.
I never see any parents having conversations at my son's preschool. I don't think they even look at each other. Everyone is so into just dropping off and getting out of there so they can get to work.

D., Wow! They do sound skanky! Whatever you do DO NOT talk with these skanky women about it. They will think that you are jelous or have problems. You did a good job talking with your husband. Now, this is what I'd do... and I have done around women who are obviously attracted to my husband and are trying to get his attention. Think about what your husband thinks is hot. Does he like a certain type of perfume or a certain type of shirt that shows your cleavage? Well, give it to him and right in front of the other moms. Then, kiss him and cuddle him. Get him to help you make the other women feel stupid. My husband helps me with this because he likes the attention he gets from me. Don't feel sorry for them, they'd steal him away if they had the chance. Whatever you do... Keep looking hot because these women are playing hard ball. Make him hot for you and piss them off.