Pregnancy Questions

Updated on January 12, 2008
N.L. asks from Willow Springs, IL
32 answers

I am trying to find the right thing to say to my coworker who told me she was pregnant. She is freaking out because she is in her 5th week, and has no signs of pregnancy besides 2 positive at home tests. She is worried because her last pregnancy she immediately had sore/swollen breasts, nausea, sickness. This time she is tired, hungry, but no sore/swollen breasts, nausea, etc... She is fearing that something is wrong and she may miscarriage. How anyone else experienced this --- getting a positive test yet no signs of pregnancy? It is too soon for her to feel all the other signs? I am trying to reassure her, but I know when I was pregnant with my daughter, I knew because of my a positive test, extremely sore/swollen breasts and immediately started to get sick and nausea up through my first trimester. I did explain to her that every pregnancy is different. Please help me with some advice to her. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

My coworker had her 8 week doctors appt, and everything is great. The baby is measuring exactly right and she heard the heartbeat. Thank you for all your words of advice for her.

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N.D.

answers from Chicago on

Every pregnancy is different! If's she's freaking out so much tell her to see a doctor and get all her questions answered.

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M.

answers from Chicago on

I didn't get sick until 6 wks if that helps. The drs say that normally those tests aren't wrong. Tell her to go to the dr.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

When I was pregnant with my son I knew right away that something was up - I had the breast swelling/tenderness, but no other signs. No mood swings, no tiredness, no nausea, nothing. I have talked to several moms who were sick as a dog with pregnancy #1 and had nothing with #2.

Either way, your coworker can't *do* anything about it, so she might as well stop worrying and just take good care of herself.

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

Encourage her to see an OB/GYN or CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) ESPECIALLY if she feels that something is wrong, and to let her provider know that she feels this way. You are right, though, every pregnancy is different. Maybe she has emotional issues this go 'round that she did not have before. Encourage her to seek counseling if she continues feeling this way after being told physically that all is well, and/or to get a second medical opinion.
I have heard that you can have a false positive test, but I am not certain what would cause this. I would suggest, again, that she have a checkup as soon as possible.
The best thing you can do is be a friend. Often just listening means more than whatever words you say.
:)
Take care,
Amanda

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Statistically, I think most women don't know they are pregnant until they realize they are late. Even after that, the symptoms may not kick in for weeks. Every pregnancy is different, tell her not to freak out. No sense worrying about things you have no control over....I know easier said than done. Good luck to her.

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

Well I know from experience that it's hard to calm someone down who insists on being upset about something. But if she's truly freaking out and emotional about it, well there's sign one.....can we say hormones? I am 22 weeks pregnant with my second child and it really is true that pregnancies are different. With my daughter (22 months) I had no morning sickness, this pregnancy I had a touch of morning sicknes. Both pregnancies I didn't feel any breast tenderness until at least 7-8 weeks and didn't feel really anything prior to that time. If she has 2 positive test results she should feel pretty confident that she's pregnant and as long as she isn't engaging in risky habits or behavior she has no reason to fear that anything is wrong. If she's that concerned then she should try to get into her OB as soon as possible so she can have her mind put at ease. I'm sure you just being there to listen to her fears and reassure her is a great relief to begin with. Good luck to her!

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J.T.

answers from Chicago on

I was in her situation, I had a couple of miscarriages before my daughter and when I finally got pregnant I had no signs. My Breasts weren't swollen or sore, no sickness no nothing.. My pregnany was perfect, my levels were going up and the doctor said not to worry, that alot of pregnant women would love to be in your situation. Best of luck
J.

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K.G.

answers from Chicago on

Hi N.! I experienced the same thing with my second pregnancy. I am currently 5 months along, but had no idea until my period was 2 weeks late. I was about 6 weeks along at that point but had no symptoms. So it can be normal too! I didn't get the soreness till about 8 weeks along this time, where as my first one was on day one I felt sore breats. Tell her her body has been thru these changes before and her body doesn't react as dramatically now! I hope that helps!
K.

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B.D.

answers from Chicago on

Dear N.,

I think you did the right thing in telling her that every pregnancy is different. With my son (1st)pregnancy, I knew before the test was positive. With my daughter(2nd) I didn't know until I went for my anual check up. I was only tired and come to find out I was 2 months along. So I would go to your co-worker and ask her if she has the internet and if she does offer mama source to her. The second one is I would advise her to see her Dr. But keep telling her that all pregnancies are different. I hope this helps and I hope she can understand.
Tell her Congratulations!
B.

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

They are each different, and after the first pregnancy she may not experience the nausea and vomiting, so there is absolutely no reason to panic. She should rest and make sure she is getting enough folic acid, preferable by natural sources like apricots and spinach, but an organic prenatal is wonderful insurance. Encourage her to eat yogurt or take acidopholis supplements. She may be having less nausea because her body is in wonderful balance right now, not because she is having problems. I have heard doctors say that nausea and vomiting means a strong pregnancy, but I don't buy that. My "strong pregnancies" often resulted in minor issues like vision problems, orthopedic issues, allergies, etc. The ones with little symptoms were a Godsend.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi N.,

I understand that you want to reassure her but the best thing for her to do is go to the doctor and talk with them about it.

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T.G.

answers from Chicago on

I was the same way with my second and third pregnancy. My first I had very sore breasts, but not at all with the next two. I even asked my doctor about it and she said to consider myself lucky. I never had much morning sickness, but I don't think that really kicks in until 7-10 weeks. I think not having many symptoms with your second pregnancy is pretty common, maybe your body already knows what's going on. Tell her not to worry and get into her doctor to confirm it for her.

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T.K.

answers from Chicago on

I had no signs of pregnancy with my first child until I was well into my 3rd month. I didn't even know I was pregnant until my second month. I had no morning sickness, no breast soreness, no nothing. As a matter of fact, I felt better pregnant than not pregnant up until my 7th month. I'm currently 5 weeks pregnant and my only symptom is a little cramping in my abdominal area. Hope this helps.

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R.P.

answers from Chicago on

You are absolutely right that every pregnancy is different, but if she's worried, she should see the doctor and not just rely on the home tests. With my kids, I had a little nausea, but never got sick. Does she feel like she has any menstral symptoms? These are also symptoms of pregnancy. I would tell her, if it makes her feel better, safer, etc...take it easy for a few days. But, if it's meant to be, it will be. good luck. You sound like a good friend, R.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I did not have any signs except for a miss period. In fact I never felt better until the 7th month. I also had a friend who had sporadic periods and did not know she was pregnant until she was 4 months along. Your coworker should talk to the doctor if she is really worried but I think it sounds normal. Good luck!

N.P.

answers from Chicago on

Every pregnancy is different. She should count her blessings that she feels this great... and most importantly to stop stressing or something bad might happen! She should call her ob/gyn to make her appt (typically not until 8-10 weeks) and just make sure to eat well/etc. Additional symptoms will come later...maybe... :)

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I would just be supportive - in my third pregnacy I didn't feel right about it. I was constantly afraid something was not quite right and I was never at ease - even though everything was progressing as planned and seemed to be ok. I confided in a good friend the scary thoughts about possibly having a miscarriage and she - said I was being nuts and that I should just calm down and yada yada ya -- I tried that and -- I did eventually lose my child - her heart just stopped beating one day. It was very sad -- I would support your friend as best you can and encourage her to go to see a doctor if she is concerned something is not quite right... Good Luck and I will pray for you and her.

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R.

answers from Chicago on

Hi. At only five weeks it more common that she wouldn't feel a thing! I never felt anything until about 7 weeks. And even then, I had a VERY easy pregnancy. No morning sickness, nausea, cravings...nothing! I was really tired and that was basically my only symptom. I didn't even know I was pregnant!

I do know that each pregnancy is unique...even for the same mother. I have a friend who had two very different pregnanies and both of her children were just fine. Just because she doesn't have "classic" symptoms doesn't mean it's a bad thing. She probably hasn't even been to the doctor yet at five weeks? Once she goes and hears the heart beat for the first time maybe she'll feel a little more re-assured.

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A.

answers from Chicago on

I have been pregnant three times and did not really have symptoms with any. The only thing that came on strong sometime in the first trimester was tiredness. Everyone's body reacts to the hormonal changes differently so tell her to relax and enjoy the lack of symptoms since some can be pretty tough to manage! Good luck to her.

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi N.,
Tell your friend not to worry. I just had my first baby 5 weeks ago and for the longest time I did not "feel" pregnant. If I hadnt seen the actual ultrasound with the baby I would have never guessed that I was pregnant. No sickness, tender breasts nothing other than having to go to the bathroom more but again that happened later I think after 5 weeks. I didn't even really start showing until after 5 months.
C.

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J.N.

answers from Chicago on

I am 23 weeks along with twins and I have an 18mth old daughter. My first pregnancy I was tired, sore breasts, and had nausea.....this time, even with twins, nothing! I had no major problems the first 16-18 weeks.!No nausea, not tired, no sore breasts......now I am starting to get heartburn and I am tired all the time. The first few months I would have never have known we were expecting had I not taken 10 hometests....I didn't even know it was twins until we had an u/s at 12 weeks for the BUN testing.....both of my pregnancy's have been very different. Have your friend go to her ob/gyn at 6-8 weeks, the can do the pg test and do an u/s to check for a heartbeat...that could put her at ease.

Good Luck,

Jen

PS: my girlfriend thought she lucked out on her 2nd one and got bad morning sickness around 10 weeks that lasted until the very end.....

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P.D.

answers from Chicago on

Tell her every pregnancy is different...With my second, I was SURE I was NOT prego, had no signs (but tiredness looking back) and VOILA! Had a beautiful baby boy...Tell her worrying will do absolutely nothing for the health of the pregnancy...Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

N.,
I have 2 daughters and on both pregnancies I didn't have any swollen breasts, I was really tired on my second pregnancy, and I didn't have a lot of morning sickness.
I noticed that my two pregnancies were completly different. I think that your friend need to see her doctor, and why not, start reading what to expect when your expecting, this may help her.
C.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

I have been pregnant 7 times (3 living children and 4 angels) and can tell you that each pregnancy was different from start to end. Whether it was dry heaves and tiredness immediatley with my first one or to my sore boobs and adverse reaction to any sort of smell with 2 of my miscarriages. I didn't always feel pregnant from the begining. With my 2nd son I didn't have many pregnancy symptoms throughout (well until preterm labor hit!) until the end. It would be a good idea for her to see the doctor and start on vitamins and have her levels checked. That could put her at ease too!

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D.

answers from Chicago on

I would tell her not to worry and to make a doc appt.
When I got pregnant the first time I had a miscarriage and when I got pregnant the second time we now have a healthy baby boy and both times, I felt exactly the same. On the second pregnancy, I didn't have sore breasts until further along and I didn't get morning sickness until about 8-9 weeks and then it lasted until 22 weeks. I was tired later on in the pregnancy. So everything could be just fine with her. Tell her just go to the doctor and tell them her concerns.

Good luck I know how it feels to be worried about that.

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T.D.

answers from Chicago on

Dear N.,

It is hard to reassure a woman that all is ok unless she has some objective information. We offer women early pregnancy ultrasound when they are nervous or have had a previous history of miscarraige. Foe a woman with normal 28-30 day cycles, the baby's heartbeat will be visible on ultrasound 48-50 days after the first day of her last period.

If your friend does not have an OB provider we are happy to provide this service for her. We have ultrasound on site at our Addison office ( Swift & Army Trail Road) ###-###-#### - we can typically schedule same day appts.

Good Luck!

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi N.!

With my one and only, it took about a month before I realized I was pregnat. I know it may seem dumb to most, but looking back, most of the signs were there. I was never really regular with my periods, so it wasn't a concern. The home pregnancy tests as well as the dr. tests all came back negative until about a month later when I did a repeat of a home test because I started having nausea. I was almost 6 weeks into my pregnancy when we found out! About a year or so later I had another surprise. Again, missing period, nausea, but this time, no breast enlargement/sensations. Well, since I knew I was being careful, and 2 different manufacturers test came up positive it was time to go to the dr. The nurse said each pregnancy is different and may not always result in the same symptoms. This was a different dr and they sent me in for blood work, not the urine strip. Tests came back negative. So tell your friend to get to the dr. and have a blood test before making any conclusion whether or not something is wrong. If she is pregnant, she can discuss her concerns with her dr. Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

I am a labor doula and I can tell you from my clients and also from my own pregnancies that every one is different. With my first two, I did not get sick at all, or feel sick and did not get the sore breasts till about the 10th week. With my last child who is now 3, it was right away and when I found out about him, I was about 5 weeks also. Try to reassure her, and if she would like to talk to me, let me know, and I can give you my contact info or she can contact me through my website listed below.

S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I've been "great with child" since I found out I was pregnant and I have never:

-had breast tenderness
-had any nausea or vomiting
-leg cramps
-mood swings
-bizarre or even partly-strange cravings

About the only thing I experienced was tiredness, but then again I get up at 4:45 every morning. I'm due to deliver VERY soon and every ultrasound, test, blood hormone level, etc. has come back completely normal.

If she's pregnant, she's pregnant...gently remind her that every pregnancy is different (even the same woman who may have had a tough first pregnancy!) and to rejoice in the new gift she will bring into this world.

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S.D.

answers from Chicago on

I am at the end of my second pregnancy and with both of them my breasts didnt start to swell until about my third month. I have not vomited once during this pregnancy and my first one i only vomited twice. Just tell her that every pregnancy is different and she shouldnt put herself under any unnecessary stress (easier said than done, right)just tell her to consult her doctor if any concerns...he/she would be the best to answer those questions.

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V.F.

answers from Chicago on

My first pregnancy I missed my period, took a pregnancy test that came out positive, went to the doctor to make sure- again positive test result- I had no symptoms of pregnancy other than my missed period- I did end up miscarrying at 7-8 weeks- my second pregnancy , no missed periods AT ALL- no swollen breasts, no nasuea, nothing- I had just gotten married and bled for the next 6 weeks, I went to the doctor to find out why I was bleeding so much- she took a pregnancy test and said I was pregnant (it was determined I was about 10 weeks at that point) so long story short- I have never had a typical by the book symptom" of pregnancy- I think every pregnancy is different- My second pregnancy resulted in a beautiful full term little girl-
tell your co-worker to just take it easy- try and limit the stress she is under- put your legs up when she can- and pray. I'm sure everything will be fine.
Hope this helped a little.

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D.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi N.,
My first pregnancy was absolutely wonderful! No nausea & I had more energy and never felt so great my entire life. I kept taking the home pregnancy tests, because I didn't believe that I was pregnant either. Nothing was tender on me at all. The only thing was that I couldn't stand anything around my waist. My Mother was the same when she was pregnant with all of us kids.
My second was ok, but not so great. I had the nausea & tiredness & everytime I brushed my teeth or coughed, I threw up in the sink, shower, etc... It was horrible & very unexpected, almost to the embarrassing point.
When I called my Doctor's office the first time I was pregnant and told them that I needed to make an appointment for a blood test, or whatever they did to make sure that I was pregnant, they asked me if I took a home pregnancy test. I told them yes, several, and they told me that that was good enough for them because that was all that they did was dip a strip into the urine to test it & that if an ept test showed positive, then you definitely are.
I hope this helps you.
D.

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