Potty Training 2 1/2 Year Old Twin Girls!

Updated on March 31, 2010
P.W. asks from Stony Point, NY
14 answers

So the battle has begun. Let the potty training begin! I am a mother of 2 and a half year old twin girls. I am home for a week and a half (I am an educator.). I thought to myself, let's get into the swing of things. Two days a ago, I took the diapers off and put the potty more in my daughter's view. SInce we are mostly in the living room, I put he potty in there. I was home with them all weekend. They had on the Gerber training underwear, which is a little thicker than underwear. I tried pull ups but they seem too comfortable for them. They urinate and don't inform me that they do. With the training underwear, they urinate and it is a mess and I have to change them but I then immediately put them on the potty. I put them on their potties every hour and ask them frequently, yet they say, "No potty yet mommy." At night, they are in diapers. They are night poopers so I have not dealt with the poop and panties yet. I am very patient and know that it won't happen overnight. Any tips? Am I on the right track?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the advice. The girls seem to be taking the potty well. They will sit on it a few times a day. One of my girls has peed and pooped. The other is hesitant but she sits. The girls like to see their potty chart and repeat 'no pee pee yet' after me. So for a start, they are doing ok. They are willing and ready to sit! Thanks again.

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J.P.

answers from New York on

Sounds like they are just not ready yet. I have boy/girl twins and my son was ready before my daughter, so I pushed her a little. We potty trained at three because camp required it. My best suggestion came from another mother of twins--wait until summer, keep a potty outside and let them play without diapers or underpants. They don't have to deal with undressing when they realize they have to go at the last minute; if don't make it, they are uncomfortable enough to try to avoid it next time; and accidents are easy to hose off!

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

In my opinion. there is no such thing as potty 'training'. Just because it's convienent for YOU this week, does not mean they are ready. Having the desire and physical ability to control one's own toilet habits is a childhood development, same any other, not a parent's choice. Like any other milestone, every child is different. Forexample, my boys were both past their 4th birthday day before they were completely 'trained'. My daughter took off her own diaper, pins and all, climbed up on the toilet and was done with diapers THAT day, just short of her 2nd birthday. Forcing the issue will only create great stress in YOUR life, and a sense of incompitancy in theirs. Try it, sure, if it takes that's awesome, it means they're ready, if you meet up with a lot of resistance, drop it and try it again in a month or so. If your planning on sending them to a pre-school come September that requires a 3 year old to be completely potty 'trained' find a better pre-school. And don't worry, how many adults do you know who are not yet potty 'trained'? It will happen eventually, it ALWAYS does. Incidentally, I recently forgot my own 'training' philosophies when my son turned 16. I could not WAIT to drive a car when I was that age, so it seemed weird to me that he had NO interest in it at all. 2 weeks after his 16th birthday, I dragged him sourfaced to DMV to take his written permit test. He is an excellent student and always tests well so he aced it of course. I took him out driving a few times even though he clearly had no NATURAL desire to do so. But I was thinking, we live in a suburban area, he will be going away to school, etc, kid's gotta know how to drive a car. I wasted some time wondering what's WRONG with the kid. This type of 'training' is not only frustrating, it's also DANGEROUS and terrifying! Also I'm sure he was ALSO wondering what was WRONG with him. So I just dropped it, and it went away....A few weeks ago, about the day after he publically decided which Merit Scholarship to accept, he actually ASKED me if he could go driving....we've been out every day since and this time he's in control, confident and is actually enjoying it.....Babies are babies, toddlers are toddlers, pre-schoolers are preschoolers etc, for SUCH a short time, why not just enjoy each phase while you have it, then WELCOME the next one when they let you know THEY want it!

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H.B.

answers from Binghamton on

I have twin girls that are 5 now. We potty trained at about the same age, maybe a couple of months later. For all 4 of my kids, I found having them naked made them much more aware. (my oldest was trained the first time pee ran down his leg). Rewards were also helpful...especially with the twins. If one went potty and got a sticker or 1 m&m, the other was right there on the potty, trying. Another thing, was letting them pick out pretty underwear...they didn't want to get it dirty. Good luck, sounds like you are on the right track.

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I.M.

answers from New York on

yes you did,parenting is not an easy job and its a 24/7 duty but you know its worth it,god bless....

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C.O.

answers from New York on

You are defintely on the right track and congrats!! It is a big an exciting time for you and your girls!
To speed things along you may consider trying to keep them naked from the waist down until they get the hang of it. My son is now 2 years and 7 months and he is totally in undies except at night, most nights are dry though thankfully.
When we started everything he ran around the house with no pants on and he was just like a little puppy, when he started to pee we put him on the potty and he caught on quick. When we thought he was ready to put the underpants on he was confused and thought it was a diaper. So he would just pee and it would make a puddle...you know the rest. He didn't seem bothered by it, but how fun is it to clean up pee out of the rug! LOL!
So it was almost like we had three stages of potty training, the naked stage the undies with no pants phase and then now the underpants and clothes all day.
I think kids need some time to really see and understand what's going on down there.
They'll catch on in no time. I also recommend getting a travel potty, like something little that sits on the floor. I see you live in the Bronx. I am in upper Manhattan so I know there are whole long swaths of time where you have no access to a public restroom (and would you even want to use the ones you have access to?) So the travel potty is great. We bring it to the playground and he can just pee there. He won't poop outside so that has been kind of a blessing. He just waits until he gets home.
Good Luck!

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I.M.

answers from New York on

P.,
the only thing different thing I would do is asking them every 1/2hr and just sitting them down even if they say no. Other than that, girl you've got it going! :) Just don't give up and be steady with it.

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A.I.

answers from Buffalo on

I definitely think you are on the right track. I followed Lora Jensen's 3 day potty training and what you do is just put them in underwear, no pants, and watch them all day and every time they have an accident, take them to the potty and tell them that's where they need to go. She says not to take them at certain times, to let them have accidents because this is how they learn the physical sensation that they have to go and if you do this, they will get it by the end of day 3. I have to say, it worked for my son. He still will have an accident once in awhile, though, when he's just too busy playing! She also says that 22 mos. is the perfect age, so I don't think yours are too young at all. Just keep at it and good luck! :)

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L.F.

answers from Tyler on

We are almost done training our 2 and a half year old! Still working on going number two in the potty. I went to the dollar store and bought stuff to put in a "potty treat bag". Every time she went in the potty she got a treat such as stickers or crayons. Her hardest thing was alerting me when she felt the urge to go. I really feel the only way she learned this was by having many many accidents. So even though I was putting her on the potty every hour it didn't always matter. We have a couple books about going potty that we would read..this would help her sit on the potty longer. Maybe let them pick out their own big girl panties with their favorite character to help them get excited. When they do go potty get very excited!! Clap and tell them how proud you are! When they see you get excited it will get them excited about going too! Tell them when you have to go pee pee and let them follow you to the bathroom. Then ask if they need to go. I hope this helps some! I know it is difficult as we are not 100% there ourselves. Be patient and remind yourself they will get! Good luck!!

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F.C.

answers from New York on

Get the books + dvds about potty training. Potty power dvd helped us. Seeing others do it helps, especially older kids. And if they like rewards, try that for each time they tell u. How long do they sit on potty each hour? Do u turn on faucet for that audio incentive? Accidents will happen so always have extra diapers or underwear in car! Some kids have to want to do it even if they know they can-they want to control.

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S.T.

answers from Albany on

Well, I know what it's like to want to potty train but with experience with three boys and potty training my third, they have to want to and show signs to be potty trained. Like, take the diaper off when they wet it or do number 2. They say, pee-pee and/or poopy and they have done it then it's great. About three weeks ago, my third was going bottom commando (means naked) and he peed on the floor. He cried and knew that it was not supposed to happen. After awhile I said, not yet, put the diaper and left it on. Then just after he turned 2 1/2 he was persistent in the nursery and here that he wanted to go potty. So, we started doing it and he peed in the potty and then one day he pooped in the potty and now he's officially doing that both in the potty. I put diaper on him at night. He goes bottom commando. After another week or so, I'll put a underwear like I did with my oldest and tell him spidey does not want you to pee or poop on him. No, no. The reason I wait to do the underwear so he shows that he goes potty as soon as he feels he has to. Then with the underwear helps him to understand that it's there but help him to hold it a few seconds longer and get the idea how to pull down underwear and up and practice that for a while until he shows he can do that and got the potty training idea in his head and then we'll go with pants and stuff and work and say go potty and he will need help with his bottoms on. My second son, he pretty much potty trained himself. There is only a year and three weeks between my oldest and second and so my second watched the oldest and began doing it himself. Take your time and watch the signs and try it and see what happens with that.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi P.,
I would simply not ask them. Saying that they have to go is the last step in the process, not an early step. Don't ask them if they have to or want to go, don't allow them a choice. Treat using the toilet as expected behavior. Simply take them every hour or so, consistently. This is what I did with my youngest, and used the heavy cloth training pants with waterproof outer layer, and yes, the first couple of weeks were messy but after that, he started waiting to go til I took him to the toilet (we never used a pottie) but it was a month or two after that before he actually said he had to go or took himself to the bathroom. Good luck

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Dear P., Have your girls showed any interest in the potty or better yet have they ever complained about being wet? Have they ever been dry in the morning? These are some signs of possible readiness. I understand your time off but potty training has so much to do with maturity and the signal that gets to the brain and the ability to hold and either tell or get to the potty. It is a good idea to introduce but as you said this will ot happen overnight and it may not happen for the twins at the same time. The fact that you are patient is a big plus. We have all been there you will do it too. If they do not respond now try again at another time. Grandma Mary(mom of 5)

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K.L.

answers from New York on

I am also an educator with twins - mine just turned 2 - and I am waiting for the summer to start potty training unless the interest in it happens earlier. I am not looking forward to doing two kids at once. What helped with my oldest - who was the same age as your girls - was taking off all pants and underwear for awhile - when it is going to be the floor or the potty, they start to choose the potty. I had lots of accidents with my daughter, though, because she was certainly the type who did not want to interrupt her play and would wait until the last minute. I also encourage you that it is totally okay not to do the nighttime training until later. She used to have extremely wet diapers/pull-ups in the morning. As she got closer to 4, this started to get better and I knew she was ready to try it with underwear. Also, I would only stop potty training if a child seemed to display almost no control - completely surprised when she pees on the floor. I would probably temporarily back off if my child had big tantrums about it too. But, it is a process that takes time and I am glad I didn't stop when my oldest struggled with wanting to play rather than listening to her body. That characteristic is so much a part of her personality that I don't think it would have been any easier for her or us at 4 years old. You do need a good week or two weeks where they have success using the potty and it becomes the "new way of life." Then there is the phase of keeping it going - this is where I had her go places in pull-ups - but around the house it was training underwear and the diapers were only for naptime and nighttime. Good luck and hang in there!

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E.C.

answers from New York on

So many people ask, I've written this "One Day Potty Training" guide. Here you go:

Potty Training in One Day

My friend taught me this and it worked, even with my child with special needs. Granted it took two days instead of one (and longer follow up).

The big idea is that you potty train your child in one day. You can start with a 2 year old. It’s best to do it before they get in to the ‘no’s, when they still want to please you. But it still works perfectly when they are older. It is not an issue of waiting until ‘they are ready’. I am not a naturally cheerful person, but I put on a big act all day. Amazing how it works. One cannot get angry or show frustration (trust me I know – I’ve done it with three kids). Cheerful! Happy! Enthusiastic!

You and your child spend the entire day from after breakfast until dinner in the bathroom. You fill them with as much liquid as possible as early as possible for as long as possible so they have to pee a lot and get to practice feeling the sensation of needing to pee a lot and of running to the potty a lot. If they take an afternoon nap, stop the liquid 2 hours before nap time (I diaper for the nap time, but my friend did not).

The child wears a tshirt and panties (thick training ones or thin normal ones) that she can pull down on her own easily.

You two play games, sing songs, have a great time together.

Then you say, “Are your panties dry?”
She feels her panties. “Yes!”
“Good job. You kept your panties dry! You get a skittle! Let’s run to the potty! Isn’t this fun?” You sit on the potty to show how much fun it is to do. She sits on the potty. Have a big drink of chocolate milk

The point is not to go pee on the potty or to wait until she goes on the potty. The point is to keep the panties dry (the derivative is that she pees in the potty).

Every few minutes you stop your song/game/puzzle and say, “Are your panties dry?”
She feels her panties. “Yes!”
“Good job. You kept your panties dry! You get a skittle! Let’s run to the potty! Isn’t this fun?” You sit on the potty to show how much fun it is to do. She sits on the potty. ! Have a big drink of chocolate milk!

Repeat every five/ten minutes. Eventually she will have drunk so much that she will have to go. It doesn’t matter if she has an accident. Be cheerful. “That’s okay. Let’s clean it up! (Have her help you.) Sit on the potty. Yeah! Let’s get on dry panties.’ In a few minutes, ask her, “Are your panties dry?”
She feels her panties. “Yes!”
“Good job. You kept your panties dry! You get a skittle! Let’s run to the potty! Isn’t this fun?” You sit on the potty to show how much fun it is to do. She sits on the potty. Have a big drink of chocolate milk.

In the afternoon, practice running from another room to the potty, repeat everything.

They will get a lot of practice feeling dry (treats), sitting on the potty (balance, coordination, success being independent). And eventually even peeing on the potty. The focus is on keeping their panties dry!

Before the Big Day
Let them be in a diaper. Don’t worry about potty training and previous struggles with it. For a week ahead of time, talk about what fun mommy and child are going to have, a whole day together – no sister, no daddy, no etc. We are going to have fun! You get to keep your panties dry! We will play! We will run to the potty! We will go peepee on the potty! So exciting.

The Big Day
Do not: answer the phone, check the computer, make dinner, call about the roofer coming.

Do: Put on an apron with good pockets filled with little favorite treats (skittles, m and ms, goldfish – whatever she doesn’t usually get). Fill sippy cups (stoppers out so easy to drink more fast) with whatever she will down huge amounts of (I never gave my kids full strength juiee or chocolate milk, but they got as much as they wanted that day). Stock the bathroom with toys, books (not a movie player), music, little puzzles. (Don’t have them all out to see and be overwhelmed with – have them in the bathroom closet or under the changing table – bring out a few things at a time to play with.

She will get lots of experience and joy out of keeping her panties dry and lots of experience running to the potty and experience in peeing in the potty. You are well on your way to having her out of diapers.

For the night time, I kept her in diapers. The reward for keeping her diaper dry for three nights in a row was getting to wear her panties to bed. Stop liquids of any kind 2 hours before bed. If she regularly has a wet diaper at night, no big deal. Tons of kids have small bladders. Just let it be. Make it a big deal to get to wear panties, but not cajoling/punishing/teasing/stressing about it. One of my girls wore diapers to bed for quite a while after being fully potty trained during the day.

You’ll do a great job!

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