Please Help with Potty Training!

Updated on May 12, 2012
D.J. asks from Atlanta, GA
7 answers

I need some serious help with potty training my 23 month old son. I feel like he is more than ready because he will tell me "I boo boo" and if I dont change him immediately, he will take the diaper off himself. I cant seem to get him to understand what the potty is. He think its a chair that he just sit on naked. lol. I used to take him in the restroom with me but he wont sit still for not even a minute!. Its hard using the restroom and keeping him on the potty at the same time. So I moved the potty in the den so that he can watch tv. lol. This is the only way he will stay seated. I refuse to be one of those parents whose child is almost 3, child holding conversations but still not going potty. PLEASE HELP! Suggestions? I havent had small kids in along time but I do remember that potty training isnt easy

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So What Happened?

THSNK YOU EVERYONE! No he is not dry when he wake up. He is VERY wet. So this mean he is not ready right? Ive decided to keep trying the potty and explain to him what it is. I also installed this potty app on my phone. He dont get it yet but like you all said, in due time he will eventually go. I hate the potty training process! lol. But haye, we all have to learn how to go!

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M.O.

answers from New York on

The impression I get, honestly, is that he's super-close to ready but not quite there. Yes, he's aware that it's not pleasant to sit in one's poop, and that's fantastic, but if he's not cognitively at the stage where he can understand what a potty is for, it's like he can't yet put 1 and 1 together and make 2.

It's very, very rare for a boy to potty-train before 24 months. Give it just a little more time. You have a long way to go before he's 3.

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E.G.

answers from Atlanta on

Look up 3 day potty training, it might be called potty training boot camp. While I couldn't do it in 3 days, I did it in a week. Very similar story with my son. The training consists of 1. Have him pick out his own underware. 2. Make a big show of throwing out diapers (sometimes kids need to know there is no other option but to learn) 3. Keep him in only underware and a tee shirt. 4. Watch as close as you can and as soon as he says anything or you see him start to go, drop everything and rush him onto the toilet.
He'll start to get it. You'll have a lot of laundry for a while. But no more diapers! There is a whole manual and website for this process. I think it was 15$ 4 years ago. Good luck!

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

My son is also 23 months. I honestly thought he was totally ready for potty training. He too would take off his diaper (Still does) after he pees or poops. We got the baby bjorn potty and did the "lets go to the potty walk" at the designated times and for almost a week he was totally into it. Then.... as if the potty was an entity that would bite his bum, my son REFUSES to go anywhere near the potty. In fact, yells NOOOOO when I suggest it. So, I am just leaving it. My daughter was the same way and I worked and worked with her until I was exausted and WALA, two days before she turned 3, she was totally potty trained. I learned with my daughter that kids will do it when they are ready. I think the last article I read said that 3 is the magic age, so for us, she was on target. I wish you luck and patience for your fella! You will both get there when the time is right.

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

I think your little guy is too young.Sorry. I know you don't want to hear it, but the fact that he is aware of needing to be changed is a good thing, but, is he dry when he wakes up from naps? How long will he stay dry?

Boys who are pushed before they are ready end up with psychological and bedwetting problems for many years. My husband had this happen to him, and he wet the bed until 12. Also, my nephew had a hard time learning because he was such a sound sleeper that he couldn't wake up to go. His mom would take him to the toilet at night and pull down his pull up and shake him to wake up and go so that he wouldn't wet the bed. The sleep therapist said it was something he had to outgrow physcially.

I would give your guy a break and wait personally. Just because you are ready doesn't mean HE is. I'm dealing with a 30 month old girl who is having similar problems. But, we are getting there slowly. Take a deep breath and slow down. Good luck mama!

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M.H.

answers from Orlando on

had u try to give him something he really likes when he does goes? my second daughter i got her trained by giving her a lolipop everytime she went and we seat all around and clap our hands when she did it. it took me little time training her like that, thank god cause was a lot of sugar..lol

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Good for you for noticing his readiness! Almost every kid shows readiness sometime between 18-24 months. Don't listen to the nay-sayers.

Potty training can be very easy, if you approach it as you would helping them learn to walk. It isn't a black and white developmental milestone, there are lots of parts to it. Your first job is to help him to learn how to control the necessary muscles. This means you need to just get him on the toilet and get some hits. Since your son is so old (yes I said OLD! twos hate to do anything mommy wants them to do, so I believe in starting potty learning when they are younger, around 16 months)....the last thing you want to do is to create a power struggle, so, keep things matter of fact: you are too big for diapers, pee and poop go in the potty. I think timers create stress, so I am not a big fan of that approach. Instead, I like to encourage pottying at natural times (when you wake up, after eating, before eating, etc.) He will spend some time going on the floor immediately after sitting on the potty, but this will pass quickly. Once he starts being able to go on the potty, you can either let him run naked or put him in cloth trainers. The problem with trainers is that they can be hard to get down in time. After learning muscle control, it is all about timing. Timing is a funny thing that can take kids a very long time to learn. But once he has control, let him decide to go on his own.

Whatever you do, treat accidents calmly: "oops, sorry sweet, you had an accident. Next time we will get it all in the potty."

BTW, the rest of the world trains their boys and girls by 18 months. Kids are perfectly capable of being trained by 2 in America, but we, thanks to Pampers, would rather change diapers. Expect accidents. When kids get upset with full bladders, they lose control. When they are stressed, they have accidents.

Night training usually follows day training by 4-6 months, but it is genetic, so it might not come till much later.

If your son isn't waking dry from naps, he may not be physically ready. This doesn't mean you shouldn't encourage potty learning. In fact, since he doesn't like sitting in his own mess, I would encourage more of it. Keep talking to him about wet and dry, etc. and he will learn.

Books and videos (on your phone) might be one way to keep him on the potty, btw.

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R.H.

answers from Boston on

I urge you to read this article written by a pediatric urologist.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/steve-hodges-md/p...

I just want to add that we started jumping through potty training hoops when my daughter was 18 months old because we thought she was ready. We couldn't understand why it was so difficult. I won't list all the things we tried, but we literally tried everything. We gave up at the pediatrician's urging and let it go. When it finally happened it was SO EASY. We didn't have to jump through hoops. She trained herself in ONE DAY and never looked back. No accidents since that day. That day was her fourth birthday. Every kid is different, it's ok! If she doesn't go through puberty during the "normal" age range, what am I going to do, put up a sticker chart to encourage her to grow boobs? Bio development doesn't work that way., I see that now. I feel your frustration, believe me, but please let it happen naturally and easily, for the sake of your child's urological system and for the sake of your own sanity.

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