Please Help!! - Chicago,IL

Updated on January 14, 2007
C.A. asks from Chicago, IL
9 answers

Hi everyone. I am a single mom with a 2 1/2 year old daughter. After a TERRIBLE divorce, I was forced to move back into my parents house. After a long search, I finally found a good job. (Thank God!!) I am looking for an inexpensive one bedroom apartment on the Northwest side of Chicago. ( I live now at Addison and Austin area- (Dunning Square Area) area code 60634). I need to stay close to this area due to the fact that my daughter is in day care in this area and I can't afford a car!! I need to find an apartment in this same area that is around $500 (garden apartment ok as long as it is clean and safe).

I can't tell you how difficult this past year has been living with my parents whom are VERY set in their ways and are constantly arguing with eachother and myself INFRONT of my daughter. They threaten eachother that they want a divorce at least once a week and then they don't talk to eachother for days. Then, of course, they turn to me to vent their anger on!!! Their house is very small w/ only 2 bedrooms and one bathroom and NO privacy at all. We live all on the same floor. I am not "allowed" to have any friends over because my mother (whom I truly believe has some serious issues mentally) says that the house is too cluttered, yet when I offer to help clean something, she doesn't want anything moved or changed around !!! I am constantly being told what to do, and constantly arguing with my parents about how to raise my child !!!! If I am lucky I am only able to go out with my friends about 1x at most because they tell me I should be home watching my daughter (even though she is asleep after 8pm). I can't take it much longer - I am about to crack !! We argue about everything from them telling me that the divorce was MY fault (even though my ex husband was ABUSIVE and my parents begged me to leave him!!!) to them telling me EXACTLY how to raise my daughter and them LITERALLY standing in the doorway and watching me when I attempt to discipline her verbally (not yelling at all). I am 35 years old and I KNOW that I am a good, responsible parent who is very well capable of raising this child on my own. My life has been so difficult, filled with constant arguing and little happiness within the past year!! It is to the point now where my parents refer to me in the 3rd person with my daughter when I am sitting right in front of them!!! They are older and very set in there ways, very judgemental and they put me down all the time!!! They are impossible to live with any longer. My friends and even NEIGHBORS have witnessed there behavior and have actually told me that I need to move out asap for my own sanity!!! I have tried several times to calmly voice my concerns (ie. them yelling and fighting with eachother in front of my daughter, us all not getting along etc) but I have had NO success. They just ignore me when I try to talk to them in an adult manner to try and remedy our very sad situation or they tell me that if I don't like it here - that I should leave and that I should be happy that I have a roof over my head!! I thought that when I got my job (which they told me NOT to get a job because my daughter was too young to be without her mother all day) that things would improve.........but it is a constant battle everyday with everything. They don't want her to go to daycare while I am working because they think she is too young and she is being "abused" which is ridiculous because I personally know my daycare provider and so do alot of my friends and she is wonderful and very caring and patient with all the kids. I tell them I have no choice but to send her to daycare if I am working all day. In the mornings when I am trying to get my daughter ready for daycare, my parents tell my daughter that "she doesn't have to go"......therefore my daughter wants to stay home and she kicks and screams when I try to get her dressed. Everyday when I go to work, I am so stressed out before get there, that I literally have to fight the tears back when someone asks me how I am doing.

It is a loose-loose situation for me everyday!! I am at my witts-end and I need to move out. I can't afford an expensive apartment until I find a 2nd job. I don't receive any child support at all and my ex husband is non-existent in our lives...when I got pregnant - he wanted me to get an abortion because he said he was under too much pressure with trying to find a job etc and that he couldn't handle having a baby!... and my ex husband actually maxed out several credit cards here and then moved to a different country!!! Thus, we have collectors calling everyday - which is "my fault" because I should of seen what kind of man I was marrying!! Unbelievable!! During my divorce, I cried everyday and was so depressed but I got through it and now I am being reminded of that terrible situation all the time!!!!!

I was wondering if anyone knows of any apartments that are clean and safe and nice in the $500 range in my area???????????

Please help. I feel so depressed all the time and I feel so all alone.
I just want to be able to raise my daughter on my own in a healthy, clean, calm environment. Please respond.
Thank you so much.

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D.L.

answers from Chicago on

I wish there was something I can do to help you out but unfortunately i have no resourses at this time to do so. the only thing i can offer is this---http://www.co-abode.com/. check out the website and see if this is something you would be interested in. its single mothers sharing homes with other single mothers...it might be a huge help for you. Stay strong and know that something good will happen soon for you.

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S.A.

answers from Raleigh on

Hello Denise,
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am also a divorced mom (my son is five) who escaped an abusive relationship... and who does not receive child support.

You probably won't have much luck looking for an apartment on sites like www.apartmentguide.com, www.forrent.com, www.rent.com, or www.apartments.com, but it won't hurt to try.

I'm moving next month and I found a great apartment on Craigslist.
(RENTAL LISTINGS: http://chicago.craigslist.org/apa/ )
You might also want to try a local newspaper, and also try walking around the neighborhood you want to live in, maybe you'll luck out and see a "for rent" sign.

Good luck... I know how tough it is.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I dont't know if your daycare is something that you're attached to, but I live in Albany Park, and there are tons of great apartments over here in that price range. I'ts near the Kimball brown line stop, and I take my daughter to an awesome daycare over here M-F 7am - 6pm for 160.00 a week!
If you want more info email me directly at ____@____.com luck. - A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.

answers from Chicago on

I don't have any advice about apartments but just wanted to offer some support. It sounds like you are trying to do the best for you and your daughter, keep it up. You know what you want and are determined to achieve it. You're right, staying in your parents house does sound very unhealthy. I hope you find something soon.

~S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Chicago on

My heart breaks for you, I am so sorry you have to go through that. I had to move back with my mother and no matter how big or small the house is, parents will be parents. I know someone that could help you get out of that credit card delima and help you get your credit clear if needed. Let me know send me a email at ____@____.com of my friends live up around that area and I will ask her too. Try the reader news paper. you may have to get a one or studio apartment for right now, but it is better than nothing. Also are you accepting the childcare intiative. The subsudy for childcare, kidcare and go to the human services office and see if you can get assistance with anything else. They will help you. There is a place called Apartment people on Broadway. they are always in the Reader newspaper. If there is anything I can do let me know. I wish you the best.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I am in the same situation. I am still a few months away from my divorce and just now finishing training to get a job and move out of MY parents' home. I checked out the website for HUD homes and found a few reasonable apartments at affordable prices. Start applying for assistance. I've begun the process even though I have a few more months before I move out, but at least I'll be ready. It never hurts to apply and see if you are eligible for anything to help you get started. You can download an application from the website for the Chicago Department of Human Services. Good luck, and before you know it this will all be behind you!

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M.

answers from Chicago on

Denise-
Did you find anything?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Chicago on

you might try chicago continuum of care. i'm not 100% sure they would be able to help but they do work with people who are in need of housing. www.chicagocontinuum.org ###-###-####

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Chicago on

hello i know what Your going thought kind of when thouight it my self i will look for You and see what i kind find and here is my number###-###-#### i am a stay at home mom mabey one night You both could come over for dinner my sion is 3 will be 4 in dec pleases give me a call and will help You look for one i will call my landlord and see how much the one bedrooms rent for

stay at home mom for a 3 year old

C.

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